Melanie Tonia Evans

Happy Mother’s Day

Written by   Melanie Tonia Evans Permalink 0
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Written By   Melanie Tonia Evans

This Sunday it’s Mother’s Day in many countries including Australia and the USA.

It’s a bit of a shame that we don’t all celebrate globally at the same time of year; our UK friends, and some parts of Europe and Asia celebrate Mother’s Day at other times.

As a Mother, I love Mother’s Day … it is a very special get together time with my mother, family and son, and I deeply acknowledge it can be a painful time for many people in this Community, due to child alienation, loss of a child or inability to give birth to your own, or due to having had painful relationships with your own mother.

Please feel my hugs and love – if this has been your plight.

As women, mothers or not, I feel we have a spiritual mission – and that is to help birth love into this planet. I believe we all have the power, through us, to midwife something beautiful.

Woman are creators, we have wombs and we are naturally attuned to grace, support, love and peace. We have the ability to generate connection, healing and true nurturing for ourselves, others and our world – and I adore how women and the goddess within is rising in order to achieve this.

Woman are finding their voice and the ability to be equals and realise that authentic power and femininity can combine and be expressed in incredible and beautiful ways.

We are finding the way to harness love, authenticity and grace to help all of us evolve back to the connection to our Higher Power, ourselves, and love itself.

When we understand “Oneness”, we know we are all connected … but it isn’t until we get into our heart space and “be” love that we can experience this connection.

In order to be this connection, we need to fill ourselves first – we need to know that we are loved unconditionally by Life, by a Higher Power, and we are worthy of this love, just as we are – as ourselves.

Women traditionally (of course as well as men) have suffered from this disconnection and not known that they deserve to feel loved, supported and safe.

Women believed they were the caregivers, the fixers, the nurturers, and sadly that they needed to earn the right to be loved by others – and many of us believed the way to achieve this was to hand our power away.

It is only recently, in the developed world (only in a blink of an eye compared to the life age of humanity) that women have had rights to vote, to property and money, and in some cases their children – or even been employable. It is only recently that women have had “worth” or “value” anywhere near men.

Gloriously now women are coming into their own and being able to make decisions, have their own power and contribute this power in loving ways to others.

I truly believe that this new age of equality will serve men and women in healthier ways, creating a deeper connection of mutuality, respect and deeper intimacy … when enough of us heal and become connected and plugged into a True Source, and share that, rather than playing out power struggles, co-dependency and violence with each other.

 

The New Age of Women

As mothers and women we have a great responsibility and an incredible gift to give … and we are needed to evolve with our new world, this new model of “heaven on earth”.

We are learning to break free from the propaganda of media telling us that we are only worthy for how perfect our body image is, or how fashionable our dress sense is. It is wonderful to care about and adorn ourselves, yet imperative to embody that our worth and our love emanates from what is inside us.

When we unconditionally love ourselves, all of life that is loving follows.

Divinity has always loved us unconditionally – and until we get that, it means that we just hadn’t opened ourselves up to believe that was possible yet.

We have discovered that we can value ourselves, generate a healthy and wonderful life and still remain open to being loved and being partnered, yet our life’s survival is no longer dependent on that happening.

As women we are learning that it is sacred and “right’ to claim our sexuality. To know that we deserve to claim, express and rejoice in our eroticness in healthy ways.

We are learning that being “feminine” is enough, and the power that we have through us to lead, to dispense hope, soothe, create miracles, inspire dreams, heal fear and lend loving support is magnificent.

And we are realising that having our own opinion and life, even when partnered,  does not mean we need to be in competition with someone … and that there are ways to become a model of sharing power rather than fighting over it.

For women these are challenges – these are upgrades that have happened very suddenly in the history of humankind. It’s all taking place NOW… in accelerated time, with greater necessity.

 

Healing The Pain Body of Women

I believe our greatest mission is the releasing of our female pain and victimhood.

Many women have carried deep inside, the wounds and the collective painbody of women – the deep ancestral and present day scars of persecution, rape and brutality. But we need to awaken and realise that there are many wonderful men who are as horrified as we are about that, and if we hate men, even covertly, we don’t heal and we don’t claim our true feminine power.

If we don’t overcome and transcend our victimhood, not only can we not integrate healthily with a man – we also can’t integrate these unhealed parts without ourselves.

Then we simply stay in our emotional agony, inflict our victimisation on our daughters, sentencing them to play out the fear and pain with men that we passed on, and we also give permission to our sons to disrespect us, as well as other women … generated by our continued victimhood.

These old relationship models of fear and pain are falling – they can no longer stand the test of time.

Only “love” rules now.

Many of us discovered the price for trying to live in these old energies of “dependency” and “survival”, or naming something as “love” when it really wasn’t.

Many of us, through our experience of narcissistic abuse were literally forced to let go, in order to transcend our painbodies and develop something within ourselves of a much greater and higher value.

As women, we can’t sit back and say – “I’ll evolve later.” We really don’t have that emotional luxury, because something inside is nudging us with the urgency that we need to evolve from fear to love now.

Now is when we need to embody these new changes and bring them to life through us.

 

What We Can Teach Our Children

As the emotional healers and generators of life we are required to upgrade in regards to what we “teach” our next generation.

The roles of our children are no longer defined as strictly “male” or “female”. Our boys require a greater emotional intelligence rather than just being cast as “providers”, and our girls need to evolve into their own independence and power rather than just being “taken care of”.

 

As Mother’s What We Can Teach Our Boys

  • To drop the need to one-up, hide and dominant. That it’s okay and even desirable to be “real”. To get close to people, to connect and show who he really is – including other men.
  • To express emotions and vulnerabilities and know that being authentic is an incredible strength and not a weakness.
  • That he is not expected to have to isolate and work it all out for himself. That his life includes unlimited resources and knowledge that he can access and tap into to find support, relief or help at any time in order to grow and expand – and in no way does this make him less manly.
  • That rescuing women is not the way to earn approval or the security of love. And his rescuing of women does not empower them, but rather enslaves them to him in unhealthy ways.
  • That dominating and controlling women does not secure love and devotion, but destroys intimacy. That it is safe for him to allow a woman to have her independence, and is essential in order for her and him to experience a relationship of healthy interdependence.

 

As Mother’s What We Can Teach Our Girls

  • To value herself within relationships. To know her worth and know that a female who knows her worth does not believe in scarcity and does not cling when it hurts. She knows that love is available everywhere and that abuse is not love.
  • That no matter how ambitious she is, relationships are vital, and a female without love, connection and loving relationships is starved of the ways that she needs to “be” love.
  • That she doesn’t have to change herself in order for someone to love her. That her life need not be worrying about “being too much of this”, or “not enough of that”, and that when she loves and accepts her authentic self, other people will too.
  • That she doesn’t need to make a choice between success or love – that she deserves and can have both.
  • That it is possible to be feminine and strong and sacred and erotic simultaneously.

I hope that you have enjoyed this Mother’s Day special, and regardless of whether you are a mother or not, that it has inspired you to be the light of love, embodied divinity, creation, and healing of this planet that you came to be.

No matter what part of the world you live in, I wanted to gift you this Mother’s Day with one of my most favourite Healing Programs – The Transforming Family of Origin Wounds Program – a Program that created incredible change in my own family dynamics, and has created huge Family of Origin and personal breakthroughs for so many others.

This Program is valued at $59 and for the next 7 days you can get this Program for free if you order the Narcissistic Abuse Recovery Program.

Or, if you have already a member of NARP, you can get the Transforming Family Of Origin Wounds Program for half price at $29.

I will also be giving out 1 special prize – a personal one-on-one Quanta Freedom Healing with me – valued at $195.00.

All you have to do to be eligible for the prize is purchase one of the specials below.

If you are chosen, you may wish to claim this gift for yourself, or nominate this as a gift to a mother – your own mother, or a family member or friend.

This special will end on the 15th of May at 12pm Australian Eastern Standard time. And we will also be drawing the winner of the one-on-one Quanta Freedom Healing on the same day.

The winner will be notified by email.

Click here to claim your mother’s day gift.

I want to wish those of you, who are celebrating Mother’s Day, a beautiful day … and for those of you who feel pain on this day, please do something loving and nurturing for yourself, and feel the love of this Community.

I look forward to your comments and questions about this article below.

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melanie@melanietoniaevans.com'
Melanie Tonia Evans is an international narcissistic abuse recovery expert. She is an author, radio host, and founder of Quanta Freedom Healing and The Narcissistic Abuse Recovery Program. Melanie's healing and teaching methods have liberated thousands of people from the effects of narcissistic abuse world-wide.

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18 Thoughts on Happy Mother’s Day
  • Nicola@pianosound.com.au'
    Nicola
    May 8, 2015

    Thank you for this post Melanie. It has come at a time when I am struggling about this Mothers’s Day. Also thank you for yesterday’s post about keeping the focus on myself, it came at just a perfect time as well. I’m very sorry that I made that post the other night. It has come to me that I was dealing with my pain with my head rather than my heart. I really appreciate all the information you have sent me these last 15 days. I can see I have a bit of a journey in front of me.
    Happy Mothers Day to you.

    • melanie@melanietoniaevans.com'
      Melanie Tonia Evans
      May 10, 2015

      Hi Nicola,

      You are so welcome.

      Please know there is no need to apologise – ever! Where you were at is simply where you were at … there is no judgement here.

      I am so pleased you are connecting into your heart and that the information is resonating with you and helping you.

      Thank you for your Mother’s Day wishes Nicole and much love and blessings to you too.

      Mel xo

  • ziggyzappa@yahoo.com'
    LeAnne
    May 8, 2015

    Happy Mothers’ Day, Melanie and Crew!!! I love that you addressed both the boys and girls in this Mothers’ Day article. Many fathers play both roles of mother and father, as do many women in this day and age. Although this kind of parenting is possible, and in many cases “the best” for “the most”, I am sure hoping our children and grandchildren will find a way to include both parents in their active, daily lives. How nice would it be to see loving, kind, stable, consistent, and responsible parenting for the new generations. Add in being “conscious” and “aware” to this mix and I think we have a recipe for a truly, joyful world.
    This is my first Mothers’ Day where I will have “no contact” with my mother. I know it’s for the best. It’s just not what I imagined our relationship would look like… Then again, most every stage of our relationship has not even come close to how I envisioned a mother/daughter relationship. Thanks to your program and my dedication, I am moving in the right direction, I feel it, I love it, and I am enjoying this beautiful opportunity for a new life. So, Melanie. . . thank you so very much and I hope your mothers’ day is the best ever, so far! Big Hug!!!

    • JewelinVentura@aol.com'
      Jeri
      May 9, 2015

      LeAnne: You have my deepest sympathy/empathy for your situation with your Mother. This is my 2nd year of no contact on Mother’s Day. I was estranged from 1995 untli 2002 also. Looking back I realize I should have stayed that way. My Father always took her side – codependent, so if she was no contact he was as well. As Melanie always tells us, we have to stay out of the pain of the story – stories – of the terrible drama and pain as it reinforces the negative peptides. I just wanted to write to support you. I think of something I have heard Dr. Phil say – “I would rather be alone and well than to be sick with someone else”. I am in the medical field and the kind of emotional trauma narcissists cause is very hard on the immune system and can literally kill. Do something special for yourself. You may be aa mother, a pet mama or even a mother to your own inner child. Support yourself. going no contact was sad and painful but not nearly as bad as tolerating her narcissistic abuse. Jeri

    • melanie@melanietoniaevans.com'
      Melanie Tonia Evans
      May 10, 2015

      Hi LeAnne,

      I agree that we really can become the change we want to see for our new generations … and be conscious parents who connect to love and the generation of authenticity and truth – so that our children can connect with themselves healthily.

      Thank you for your lovely Mother’s Day cheer, and wishing you a beautiful day too!

      That is huge – this Mother’s Day for you – and I feel so much joy in my heart from your post and how happy and liberated you are feeling.

      You are so welcome 🙂

      Bless and huge yay Leanne!

      Mel xo

  • Mrsdoval@comcast.net'
    Cindy
    May 9, 2015

    Happy Moms Day! And Thank you. Without you and Kim and Carrie I don’t think I would have survived the pain and absolute confusion. I’m happy to be looking forward to a Mother’s Day with my beautiful daughters and without the ex-narcissist.

    • melanie@melanietoniaevans.com'
      Melanie Tonia Evans
      May 10, 2015

      Hi Cindy,

      thank you, and you are so welcome.

      Wishing you a gorgeous day with your daughters.

      Bless 🙂

      Mel xo

  • jeanjohnson2911@gmail.com'
    jean
    May 10, 2015

    Happy Mothers Day to you Melanie!

  • conchhut@comcast.net'
    Cindy
    May 10, 2015

    Thanks for sharing this Melanie! It’s a most, particular da

  • conchhut@comcast.net'
    Cindy
    May 10, 2015

    Difficult day for me, being estranged from my son (only child),

  • annartistmccoy@earthlink.net'
    Ann McCoy
    May 11, 2015

    Yikes, I hit the jackpot. I had TWO toxic NPD moms, the opera singer who gave me up for adoption and the adoptive mom. Both were alcoholic, both had severe NPD. I found Melanie after many shrinks did not get the picture. Now I have one who does who also had an NPD mom. The scars are there for me in the choice of partners. I just escaped a 20 year relationship with an aging male ballet dancer….who was a raving narc. Now I am 68 and putting the pieces of my psyche back together. I felt like the Eric von Stroheim character in Sunset Boulevard…the best film ever made about narcissism…Ibsen’s Master Builder comes close.

  • valerieAwedel@gmail.com'
    Valerie Wedel
    May 13, 2015

    Dear Mel, and to your team also –

    Thank you from my heart, and joyoux mother’s day to you and yours!

    Love what you write about reclaiming all that we are, and enjoying this.

    From a happy work in progress 🙂

    Valerie
    (in Colorado)

    • melanie@melanietoniaevans.com'
      Melanie Tonia Evans
      May 18, 2015

      Hi Valerie,

      thank you so much!

      I am so pleased you enjoyed the article and that you are happily expanding!

      Mel xo

  • claytonruth@rocketmail.com'
    ruth
    May 14, 2015

    Hi Mel. Well, I made my purchase, what perfect timing. I had a very painful Mother’s day as my drug addicted daughter did not even call me. This has me very concerned, she has never done that before. And my other daughter, who is struggling with the truth, chose not to spend the day with me. A lot of grief was coming up about my mother passing a year and a half ago as well. So it was truly a painful day. But I pushed through it, took good care of myself, reminded myself that I am a loving dedicated mom, and am looking forward to the family of origins work. I have been doing all I can to heal my relationship with my daughters, but it has been very very challenging, as one of them lives with the narc. I fear for her life as her drug-meth issue has escalated, but keep standing for her wholeness. I could not afford at this time, a session with you, (maybe I will win it :)) but now at least this new purchase, will help me further in my healing journey, as the NARP program has been a tremendous tool and even lifeline. So thank you for this wonderful gift. Not only I, but my daughters, and every daughter deserves a chance at life. Your story with your son, gives me hope, that maybe my daughter can and will be also saved.

    • melanie@melanietoniaevans.com'
      Melanie Tonia Evans
      May 18, 2015

      Hi Ruth,

      my heart goes out to you with love and support, because as you know I have experienced how hard it is to be worried about our children, and I am so glad my story with Zac helps inspire you.

      That is great that you are working on the Family of Origin, because she will truly benefit from your healing.

      That is wonderful that you looked after you on Mother’s Day …

      You are very brave and authentic Ruth and that really does win the day.

      I am holding the space for you and your daughter with the belief of true healing.

      Mel xo

  • 7ov16tp3i@outlook.com'
    Yhenskye
    August 28, 2015

    I think this is one of the most important info for me. And i am glad stiydung your article. However want to statement on few common things, The web site taste is great, the articles is in reality great : D. Excellent process, cheers

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