Once again I want to thank you for being a part of this community!
I can’t tell you how much this mission brings me so much joy each and every day. I love doing with I do – it truly is my DREAM job.
None of this would be possible without your support or the support of my team. I am so blessed that I get to share this journey of evolution and raising consciousness with so many people, including my son Zac who is an integral part of MTE.
I want you to know that the entire MTE team sincerely appreciates you so much too! Without your support they would not have careers connected to their heartfelt passion of “making a difference”.
I also want to thank every person who has helped partner this cause in some way in 2014.
This includes our incredible moderators and regular posters in the NARP Community Forum who tirelessly and lovingly support others; the incredible women who took over the management and moderating of the NARP Facebook Group, and every one of our wonderful affiliates paving NARP forward to those in need.
There are many other people who I am deeply grateful to, whose contributions to MTE in 2014 have helped catapult this mission forward in ways that I could never have achieved on my own. Thank you from my heart for BELIEVING in this mission like I do!
I also want to thank everyone in the community who personally chose to give up the standard victimhood model, to deeply partner self and take on the journey of their personal evolution, because you truly are helping change our world one person at a time.
Christmas is almost upon us again, and we are less than a week away from 2015 … No matter which stage of recovery you are at, I want 2015 to be your best year ever.
I want us all to collectively achieve even more than what we did in 2014!
But first we need to get through this holiday time …
The holiday season is an important time and it may bring some tests. Emotionally if you have suffered upheaval, loss and heartbreak, this can be a difficult period.
Traditionally narcissists can cause much confusion and angst by creating issues in the festive season, or if co-parenting, or hoovering if separated. Narcissists know that people can feel vulnerable, lonely and sentimental during the holiday season.
I used to struggle horrifically in holiday time. I used to dread having to go through Christmas with a broken heart and I used to be easily targeted, or my own emotional pain would plummet me into the depths of despair.
When my focus was all about the narcissist, what he was or wasn’t doing, how much loss I was experiencing and how much emotional pain I was in – Christmas and New Year was really tough.
That was until I realised how vital it was to self-partner and focus on my own healing.
Since dedicating to my own shifts and up-levelling, I learnt some vital things that I really hope can help you if you are struggling.
Here are my Christmas Tips:
1) Keep No Contact of Modified Contact firm no matter what. Don’t get sucked into sentimentality or hope.
2) Use your loneliness as a huge opportunity to self-partner and know the value of “aloneness”, which means being with self to heal your wounds. This is the opportune time to learn how to fall in love with you – which means self-dedication and self-devotion.
3) If you are feeling emotionally disjointed, modify the alcohol you have over the Christmas season, knowing you could be more vulnerable as a result of it.
4) Know that any painful emotions that you try to ignore will just keep coming back. This holiday break can be the perfect time to face and release the trauma and pain that is holding you back from feeling well and moving forward.
5) When working my Healing Programs train yourself diligently to not try to overcome painful emotions logically. Instead use Modules to release the trauma directly from your body. This is the fastest way through to your recovery.
6) Connect with people who are healthy, positive and supportive. Spend your time with people who are not going to keep you trapped by perpetuating negativity and victimhood. It’s an added bonus when people understand what you have been through. The NARP Private Community Forum is a healthy choice for support, empowerment, loving validation and solutions over the Christmas break.
As a result of using valuable time (and especially the most painful times) to heal myself, holidays and connecting with the people I love has now become joyous, free and expansive. The pain is completely gone.
This holidays, like the previous holiday seasons, I’ll take the time to map out my intentions and focus on creating the changes within myself to allow me to generate my “outer” goals in 2015.
This time of year, one I used to dread, is now a glorious time for me.
I know that you too can do the inner journey to experience the same transformation.
You can turn any pain you are feeling into powerful fast track healing for yourself; by using the same tool I did – Quanta freedom Healing – which works directly on your subconscious programs to release the pain and up-level it into personal empowerment.
So … now it is time for myself and the MTE team to wish you the safest, healthiest, most supported Christmas and New Year ever. And please know I am sending the biggest hug to you (if needed) – so that you know you WILL and CAN get through this time.
Truly you can emerge out the other side of this bigger, better and more free than you have ever known.
I know you can … because that is what I achieved.
Please know that the MTE team is taking 3 weeks off, and the support team will still be operating to look after any of your product, technical or download needs.
We will be back on the 15th January.
I am so looking forward to rocking 2015 with you!
Hugely … it is going to be an amazing year.
It is our time to shine.
Merry Christmas everyone.
Heaps and tons of love and healing from me and the MTE Team.
Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year Melanie!
Hi Mike,
thank you, and a wonderful Christmas to you too!
Mel xo
I knew it was time to start living despite legal battles. I am looking forward to quality time with my family with several fun events. I am amazed at how amazing I am. I never knew how strong I could be. Gratitude!
Merry Christmas and the Happiest of New Year’s to you Melanie!
You have truly SAVED my life! I thought I was going crazy…I could not function until I completed your 10 Step Program which saved my life. I have a long way to go but have come so far. Today I walk the beach with gratitude in my heart and soul. I am learning to like me again and forgive myself for what I simply did not know. Thank you for helping me and countless of others through such a difficult time!
Hi Polly,
thank you so much my love!
I am so, so, so thrilled you have healed so much as a result of working NARP.
I love that you are coming home to true freedom and your True Life!
JOY!
You are so welcome, I am so pleased I can help – and you have a wonderful Christmas with loved ones 🙂
Mel xo
Hi Irene,
that is so wonderful you are going to be with family and have much needed time out after a stressful year.
Merry Christmas to you and your family Irene.
Mel xo
Many thanks Melanie to you and to your team.
Wishing you all a wonderful holiday season!
See you next year,
Paola
Hi Paola,
thank you so much, and I hope that you and your family had a marvellous Christmas together!
I look forward to sharing 2015 with you 🙂
Mel xo
Last night I burned frankincense in my home which is one of the gifts the wise men (who were also Kings)brought to Christ. It is a symbol for me of giving and receiving both wisdom and humility, without compromising true power. It is also a symbol of such richness the moment a king bowed before a baby. My growth place largely this year has been about stepping into my full power with humility, letting illusions of victimhood and fear based living be a thing of the past, and learning to let love and support in. I can not thank you and your team enough for being a part of my journey. I have learned things that have been transforming not only my life, but as a result, those around me. My daughters in particular, will enjoy a future quite differently from the one they had, because I have changed and grown, and I am much more equipped to love them better, because I am loving myself better. This is eternal work that transcends this earthly plain. It is the journey most worth taking and fills my heart with joy. Merry Christmas to you all!!! with love, Ruth.
Hi Ruth,
was a beautiful practice – so inspiring.
From myself and the team Ruth you are so welcome, and I am so inspired, as you are, that this work can not only emancipate us from the agony, but also have such a powerful effect on our children, which will also ripple on to their children.
You could not have put it more succinctly “I am much more equipped to love them, because I am loving myself better.”
Together. my dear lady, we are making a difference, and you are being that difference.
Bless you.
Mel xo
Your Christmas email came at the most opportune time, on the very day I was let down by my N once again.
I thought I had made gains over his control this past year and I had, however I found myself over the past month once more enmeshed in his drama. So here I am starting over but I am prepared to do so and to move forward with my life.
I read your blogs as they come to me so now I must pay even more attention to them. Never did I ever think I could be taken in by such a manipulative man. A man I have known for over 20 years on a different level. A man I trusted. WOW. Not so.
Tomorrow is CHRISTMAS Day. The beginning of a new phase of my life and soon a new year. This is the time for me to make the necessary changes to my life. After several sincere attempts to do so I must now stay the course. NO CONTACT it shall be. This is where I fall down over and over again.
Thank you Melanie for the strength I get from you.. I am determined that 2015 will be my year of recovery……….Bonnee
MERRY CHRISTMAS MELANIE.
Bonnee
Hi Bonnee,
I am so pleased you are determined to bog in, put the focus into you and evolve past this point.
I promise you, if you do, you won’t look back.
Thank you for your Merry Christmas! And I hope that you got through yours okay.
Hugs and healing Bonnee.
Mel xo
I don’t mean to be a Debby Downer but I recently discovered NPD and Codependency. I am dumbfounded about all of this and in so much pain.
I have joined a codependency group and 25 days into the No Contact Policy. I have received emails, phone calls, and texts from the Narc. I would have NEVER thought that the Narc would ‘pop up’ at my house, but he DID! Yesterday, he rang my door bell, AT 8AM, twice! Then, he sat in his car and called my phone repeatedly. I did NOT respond at all. However, throughout the day, I wanted to reach out to him so badly. This is torture!
Hi Jaime,
I feel for you – that is the hardest point, when you say no – and then have all the addictive hooks rampaging through you.
It is like giving up a hard drug – it is torture.
Jaime if you haven’t already, check out the Narcissistic Abuse Recovery Program. It works directly on clearing your subconscious programs within you that are addicted and hooked.
https://www.melanietoniaevans.com/services/narc-abuse-recovery.htm
And then relief and freedom is so much easier to obtain.
Mel xo
I must be healed already because the thought of the narcisisst makes me feel sorry for hem that they are so pathedically flawed.Makes me go “awww poor narc, cant even enjoy a true momment of. Joy that is authenic.Wow you dont know what your missing!Thank you sweet lady Melanie for not being afraid to broadcast this truth and loud enough for even me to hear!merry christmas to you ,such a blessingg is you to the world
Hi Cynthia,
that is wonderful that you feel free enough to have compassion.
It is true that level of unconsciousness is the epitome of hell – with no real escape.
And all of our society has been responsible for the legacies that have led to narcissists.
You are so welcome, and I am so glad you are feeling free.
Mel xo
Hi Melanie, it’s 4 weeks now I have gone no contact with narc wife. Just as you said she used Christmas to try and break the no contact. Happy to tell you it didn’t work. Starting to get my life back on track now after so many years of abuse. Wanted to thank you for all your help, the emails and advice ha probably saved my life. Hope you and your family have the best Christmas ever.
Kind Regards
Nev
Hi Nev,
that is wonderful that you maintained No Contact, and I am so pleased you are staying “clear”.
You are so welcome Nev, and I hope you and your family had a wonderful Christmas Day.
Mel xo
Merry christmas Melanie to you and zac and all of your amazing team. I used to dread christmas but couldn’t understand why I always put my effort into trying to give my family their secret…..and not so secret……wishes and worked to creating the magic and was always somewhere so sad afterwards. I got pressure and negativity before during and after but many gestures of giving and happiness so was thoroughly confused and felt guilty afterwards. Now I know about gaslighting it’s all so clear to me how he encouraged me to fly high then pulled the rug somehow so hard to explain unless you’ve lived it but thanks to you and your team I now understand and I know I’m not crazy or depressed I’m actually a pleasure lover who loves life especially family and he played on that. He is dead now but still feeling influence but much less strongly and back on path of being me thanks to you. Sometimes feels like secret society because nobody knows feeling unless they’ve been there so I thank you again for allowing me to feel secretly supported! Sorry to be so long winded but feeling joyous and optimistic and starting to recognise myself again. Merry christmas to everybody who is on Melanie’s site we are so lucky we’re on our way onwards and upwards. Love to you all keep chin up rise above the cretins life is beautiful! Xxxxxxxx
Hi Jackie,
a very Merry Christmas to you and your family too.
You are right it is very hard for people to “get” what you are saying unless they have lived it. I bet that most people reading your post in this community understand exactly what you are saying.
I LOVE that you are on your way onwards and upwards Jackie.
Mel xo
Thank you once again MTE Team. Your Christmas Message was so timely!!!! Your NARP Programme is the best and I am so grateful to you all. 2015 is going to be the best year ever!!! Your emails always seem to have just what I need to hear to get stronger and more self empowered everyday.
Thankyou and have a wonderful holiday!!! Blessings, Alex
Hi Alexandria,
You are so welcome 🙂
I am so pleased NARP has had a powerful effect for you.
Yay to getting more empowered every day!!
Wonderful holiday blessings to you too Alexandria.
Mel xo
Hi Melanie, Thank you so much for your guidance and wisdom. I appreciated your personal response when I was waiting to be approved into the forum and needed some help with Module One – I so desperately needed to start right away. I have seen tremendous shifts occur in my life since using your program. I really appreciate the holistic and energetic viewpoint and it is completely inline with my personal beliefs. I’m reclaiming my Goddess!! Love and strength to all, J.
Hi Jenn,
you are so welcome.
That is fabulous that you shifted so much already.
I agree “the work” needs to be so much more energetic – reaching soul level – than just at the level of the mind. I’m so glad this resonates strongly with you.
Ohhh loving the Goddess reclaiming. I adore that so much personally too!
We are meant to be radiant and shine 🙂
Bless dear lady!
Mel xo
Happy holidays Mel.
Thank you for you’re inspiring support and undying faith in all of us. I really appreciate the opportunity to do a thriver showand I am grateful for being able to help others in this journey. It is a horrific experience to separate from a narcissist. The victim mode perpetuates misery and keeps us feeling trapped. In reality, there are choices. We are free to choose our life path.I have dedicated my life to my ex-husband narc and my children. In the past 18 months, with your help, I have refocused my efforts on myself.I feel stronger than I have in years and 2015 is the culmination of my self discovery. I am emotionally and physically ready to move forward and leaps toward reclaiming my life. I have done the hard work with NARP as well as the investment and my children. Now, it is time for me to live my life. I have never felt so anxiety free and blissful. Thank you for your hard work and dedication to all of us.
Xo jill
HI Jill,
you are so welcome.
I truly do hold space for all of us, knowing that “wellness” is our birthright when we clear ourselves of our own parts that aren’t serving us.
Thank you so much for being a Thriver darl … and I love that you are healing so much, and have been able to overcome so many challenges. Ones that many people would “give up” at.
You are an inspiration Jill.
Bless and hope you, children and family had a wonderful Christmas.
2015 is going to be your year!
Mel xo
Hi Mel,
You said in this blog article that: ‘Traditionally narcissists can cause much confusion and angst by creating issues in the festive season …. Narcissists know that people can feel vulnerable, lonely and sentimental during the holiday season.’ So true! As if right on cue, my intended Christmas day plans have been ruined. But as much of a pity that it is, I’m implementing your Christmas Tips, especially steps 2), 3) and 4) to enforce No contact! And, I remain forever an optimist: right now I’m thinking that every day will be Christmas when the narcissist is truly out of my life. And to anyone else out there in a similar situation today – keep looking ahead – for your brighter more empowered future – and that starts right now – in this very present moment. Blessed Christmas everyone!
Hi Titiana
I am really identifying with you the ex narc in my life send me a text this morning wishing me a happy xmas and I responded I broke my no contact which I had been working on for 2 months so I am not going to make it into a huge issue I will forgive myself for being human and start the no contact again. this is such an emotional time the narc is just waiting for a weak moment I have felt really yucky since I responded I will do a shift as I have been doing lots of shifts for the past 2 months and I was doing really well,this really made me look at my weakness I tend to forget that I am dealing with a narc. I totally accept that I am doing well these are all lessons I will be wiser next time love to all
Joan
Hi Joan, Christmas is a time filled with loving wishes for others – even those who have hurt us in the past. I hope you weren’t too hard on yourself and forgave yourself quickly, surrendering to the shift to come. My energy is with you to continue with No Contact. It works! This blog is an excellent way to encourage others who undergo difficulties. Surround yourself with positivity and believe in your strengths. Well done to you x Tatiana
Hi Tatiana,
how wonderful that you are enforcing the boundaries.
You are so right … when we reclaim ourselves, and truly heal, and the narcissists are No Longer Our Reality the freedom and joy and expansion is indescribable.
There is NO touching that …
Thank you for inspiring others with your post.
Mel xo
Thanks for your response Mel. Emotional disconnection from the relationship with the narc and self-care enabled me to enjoy the company of others over Christmas. No ruminating – just new possibilities for my future. New thoughts created new feelings = new memories. Much love and thank you for providing this opportunity to express my voice through your blog. Blessings for 2015 and the vital work you do for so many. x Tatiana
I have read several of your articles. They have given me knowledge, hope, and a lot to think about. I have been dating a narc for 3 years. I am drained in my spirit, soul, and body. I have decided that I can not do this another year. 2015, I choose me!
I have to attend a board meeting every month with the narc. I am so proud of my ability now, to not respond IN ANY WAY to his insults and gas lighting lies. I picture his false and cowardly words as a vapor that pass right by me. A narc wants ANY attention including even negative attention. Anything that tells them they are someone.
Even better, my entire family ( adult children and SIL’S ) , also fully understand this. At one time, narc had us all mistrusting each other but we have made amends and stay strong together.The 13 of us had Christmas dinner together this year for the first time in a long time.
All of this has made me stronger and understand myself better. Thank you Melanie, for your programs.
To you who have a hard time, know that there is light.
I have had a really hard time, but now things are turning,
both for myself and people I care about.
It is so wonderful when you heal yourself, things get better not just for you but for people around you, I experienced this directly today.
This would not have happend if I had not found Melanie’s website
and got the NARP program.
So I want to send my gratitude Melanie.
And how beautiful it is, that you are helping those who are struggling financially by donating narp packages, I started tearing up when reading this.
Thank you.
Happy New Year.
When I was in my 17 year long relationship, it was around year 15 that I started to become more apathetic towards him, no longer being hooked by that addicted pull to “make things right” with him. I realized that it didn’t matter what I did, he still would not love me or approve of me. Unfortunately I became more apathetic about my own self too…but that’s another story. As a result of me pulling away and no longer allowing myself to be emotionally manipulated by him, he upped his anti and started to become more angry and physically abusive. Now, we are divorced and we have 50/50 shared parenting. Co-parenting is a nightmare for me and I continually get pulled into fear and anxiety about my children and what he is doing and not doing with them. I feel like I did in the marriage but worse. Between a rock and a hard place, but now no way to manipulate him by feeding his ego. I fear the kids are going to eventually choose him over me because he is entertaining, charming, and has lots of money. He is a master manipulator and is really really good at looking good. I would really like to hear more about how to deal with your narcissist and heal when dealing with co-parenting.
Hi Mel
just 3 months since I split from my 3rd narc I am working the narp modules also the childhood wounds course just to day I have this very strong feeling that it was all my fault and maybe he is not a narc I also feel I want to make contact with him I miss the good times and suddenly the bad times don’t seem so bad anymore this happens to me every few weeks I haven’t acted on the feeling and I wont my question is which of the modules would shift this energy and get to the core of this self doubt it has been a pattern for me all my life to blame me when things went wrong in any relationship I feel like if I didn’t say anything everything would be ok.
thank for your help
Joan