Last week I wrote my most important article ever. Part 1 of this article was inspired by the difference I constantly see between the Thriver orientation, which occurs when we take the personal responsibility to heal our own wounds, and the rampant victimisation model, which is predominant in most narcissistic/sociopathic abuse communities.
Absolutely, I validate the pain of narcissistic abuse for people, especially when children are involved – and I know from personal experience, as well as having been connected with thousands of people going through this anguish, how tough it is.
I also know that the continual focus on the narcissist and what he or she is doing create total powerlessness and only feeds the narcissist, disables any effectiveness to get well, and is poisoning and traumatising our children – as well as doing NOTHING AT ALL to stop the cycles of abuse and abused being passed on from generation to generation.
I am passionate about this article series’s messages because I firmly believe there is another way. There IS a way to not only empower ourselves and come through the narcissistic experience as wiser, more solid, more capable, more conscious, loving and complete beings than we ever could have become without this experience but also be able to co-create this level of growth with our children.
Even when the children were raised by narcissistic parents.
I am sharing some extraordinary interviews with you today. These interviews are with women from the NARP Community. These ladies wanted me to come forward and share their message. They have taken on the responsibility of their own healing and are active participants in breaking the cycles of abuse for themselves and their future generations.
When you listen to these stories, please note that these women are NOT victims.
They do not believe what happened to them has caused them to be stuck in an endless cycle of regret, despair, blame, shame and powerlessness.
In fact, these women are going on to better, wholesome lives and selves than they ever previously known – not despite what happened, but rather because of what happened. The narcissistic abuse led them back home to the one relationship that had always been missing until now.
This was always about creating their TRUE relationship with themselves, which now is the relationship they are modelling and generating for their children.
The interviews begin with a woman who is not a mother, discussing the lasting impact and harm caused by mothers who do not heal. This is followed by three more interviews featuring a mother and their child. The interviews finish with a wonderful account of a young teenager who was angry and struggling with his mother for years, describing how wonderful their relationship is today.
I want to thank everyone who has emailed me, who is passionately standing for the circulation of these articles, and for joining me in this quest to raise consciousness and end victimisation and abuse in our world.
We CAN take responsibility to put our focus firmly on ourselves and heal. The results are spectacular for ourselves and our children- the payoff for the effort is becoming and living a True Life.
I hope you enjoy these interviews, and please share this article and accompanying radio show in any forum where victimisation is taking hostages and keeping people stuck in powerlessness and pain. Please also share with anyone you know it can help.
I also want to encourage any parents (or people) who feel trapped in the pain and the abuse to take the step to join me in the Free 16-Day Recovery Course to discover exactly how to heal and evolve past abuse.
If you can’t make the event live, you will receive a full recording in your email.
I am excited to hear back from you and your thoughts.
That was wonderful Melanie. Great idea! Hearing the genuine experiences of these intelligent and well spoken women and the powerful healing, the obvious change they have experienced is so encouraging. It really helps to make the reality of recovery real.
Thank you ladies and Noah for being so candid. It is true, that if we change ourselves, our world will change.
Hi Clarie,
I am glad you enjoyed, and these interviews inspired you.
It is SO true that this is the only way we will heal our world….healing ourselves…
Mel xo
Hi, where do I find the actual link to the radio show? It doesn’t show up on this blog.
Thanks for your help
Love hearing these awesome stories. And gosh, you can hear it in their voices – Calm, and grounded!
Hi Jean,
thank you for your lovely comment, and so pleased you enjoyed the interviews.
That is so true – these ladies have embodied peace, love and grace.
Mel xo
I am 70 years old. Left a narcissistic relationship after a marriage of 23 years. The Wizard of Oz story has always been a great metaphor for me. I saw Dorothy as a young girl who loved her family and dog Toto. The wicked witch (Narcissist) was trying to steal her beloved pet. Dorothy thought she had choice other than running away from her home (actually she was running from herself in an effort to escape the narcissistic). She wound up in the Land of Oz searching for the Wizard that she thought could help her return home). She then had to discover along with the Tin Man, Lion and Scarecrow that the wizard had no real power nor did the witch) She alone always had the power to return home to her True Self.). Wisdom,Courage and Love were always available to her as Dorothy, The Scarecrow and the Lion journeyed together to realize this Truth
Hi Donna,
I love how you have shared this regarding the story of Oz …
It is SO true.
Sending you endless love, blessings and breakthroughs
Yes WE have the power!
Mel 🙏💕💚
Thank you Mel and thank you so much for all you do You are truly a beautiful soul Keep spreading your wisdom and light!!!
Yes, Mel ! I have learned that Dorothy really had the power to heal all along. I am here to attest that there is a place called Somewhere Over The Rainbow. All you have to do to find it is to go within and BELIEVE you are worthy to live there !!!
<3
Loved sharing Melanie. Thank you from the bottom of my heart for all you do. And you do it all with a loving and tender heart.
Hi Teresa,
you are so welcome, and thank you so much for your passionate contribution dear lady!
Mel xo
Wow Melanie and to those lovely ladies who shared. I am so overjoyed to hear their powerfulness and love. Theresa, you are right, that you cannot go back once you cleaned out and the feeling is absolutely amazing. Lots of love, Helen 🙂
Melanie,
Thank you for an inspiring interview with 4 people whose lives are transformed forever and for the better!!
You are giving me hope for my situation – thank you for all the work you do Melanie!! Healing from the inside out is the way to go and evolving to a higher vibration makes total sense. I am already feeling stronger from the information from your site and the NARP program!!
Thanks,
Laura
Hi Melanie,
Firstly, thank you sincerely for writing these articles. My adult child with whom I have no contact with is stuck in the clutches if her N mother. Where can I find the 3 interviews you refer to in this part 2 article.
Thanks Peter.
Wow! “I do not like myself when I am with your father.” That pretty much sums up my entire marriage. I am so grateful to have found Melanie and the NARP program, I am so excited to focus on my healing now and move away from my spouse. It is time, I am finally ready. So many inspiring stories!
Hi Melanie,
I wanted to please get your opinion/advice on my situation with my children. I have two boys, ages 10 and 3 that spend most of the time with the N and see me on some weekends. It has been VERY easy to “let go” of the N, I quickly realized they were a cancer in my life and have fully let go of her. The hard part I am dealing with is “letting go” of my boys. I know it’s utterly pointless to fight against the N, I will always lose, although I can see that how she is affects them greatly when they are with her. Every Sunday has become an emotional wasteland, with my older boy begging to stay with me and my younger boy crying terribly when I have to put him back in the N’s car to go home. It absolutely devastates me and I spend every Sunday evening crying myself to sleep. I’ve tried every method to soothe my older boy’s begging and pleading and trying to get him to understand he has to go back to the N each week but he doesn’t care what I say, he just continues to beg to stay. Now it has started to have him turn against me, where this week after he got back to the N’s home and called me, he asked “do you even really care about me daddy?”. It was like a knife through my heart, it literally felt that way. I consciously know I need to focus on my healing and not try to change my son, just try to change me and hopefully my change will project itself towards him. But I am truly having a VERY hard time with this. I feel guilty that if I just focus on myself it’s like I am choosing to stop caring about how he feels and just leaving him to the further abuse by the N. Also, another HUGE thing I am dealing with is that my entire extended family lives in Boston and I am currently living alone in Florida so that I can be near my boys. I want to move back to Boston near my family and have a fresh start, to let go of everything and rebuild my inner self and to also be near supportive family and friends. But when I think of this, I feel horribly guilty about leaving my boys behind with the N. I feel terribly torn apart inside. I am miserable living in Florida just for my boys, it’s not where I want to be and not where I want to rebuild my new life, but I feel trapped here by the guilt of leaving the boys behind. I don’t know what to do. Is it possible for me to still empower my boys towards a healthy inner being future living away from them or do I have to stay so especially my 10 year old won’t fall apart? Please help, any advice would be so deeply appreciated. Regards, Kevin
It has been 4 years since you left your comment. I am just seeing it today and it spoke to me. I lived through this also, my son was 5 y.o. when I split with my ex. My son would come home after his weekend visits with his narc father and would just be mean and misbehaved, angry. It would take most of the week for him to be “normal” again, only to go through it again in another 10 days. I let him express his anger for the most part and not deny his feelings. When he went through puberty around age 11-12 he was quite angry, destructive. I have finally worked on myself and showed my son a powerful Mom and he finally denied his narc father and decided he could no longer have him in his life. My son is now 17 and we have never had a better relationship. He talks about what happened and how he felt. He was angry because he thought I abandoned him, he didn’t realize I was bound by a court order! But now he understands. I was patient and tolerant and we have an amazing relationship now. Just be there for your boys and don’t give up. More than that, work on yourself to show them there is a different way to BE, to live your life, set an example of stability and sanity. I hope things have improved for you in these 4 years. Believe that things can change, with time and patience and always talking to them, with truth and kindness and empathy. I pray for you and your boys!
Hi Melanie,
Thank you. I enjoyed very much.
It’s my pleasure Changing,
And thank you for your comment.
Mel 🙏💕❤️
Hi Mel,
I didn’t see the articles you mentioned. Was that a radio show or an article. Working on my healing and want to hear about other thrivers:)
Hi Karen,
I actually can’t remember and at the moment don’t have time to listen back to find out.
My suggestion is to google it with my name and the resource will pop up for you.
I hope this helps!
Mel 🙏💕❤️
Hi Melanie,
I’m so grateful for your life’s work. I’m confused though… are the interviews in the webinar link or is there another link we can use to listen on demand? I really want to hear what these families have to say. I’m struggling to understand what I can do to help my daughter in a practical way, who is being pummeled by her N father right now. What can I say to her? I say that she needs to understand that’s him, not her, she’s not responsible for his reactions – but he’s her dad and she internalizes and owns everything he dumps on her. I feel like I’m always stuck, trying to share insights with her at an age-appropriate level (12). I never know what to say, if I share too much, if what I’m saying is flying over her head or if I’m making it worse. Hearing actual experiences will help me tremendously.
Hi Carrie,
please google my name plus Thriver Stories and that will take you to them on my blog.
I’d also love you to come into my free webinar http://www.melanietoniaevans.com/freewebinar It will help you find clarity, peace and soul relief.
I hope that this can help
Mel 🙏💕💚
Thank you Melanie! You are the most responsive person on the internet I’ve ever seen. Thank you for continuing to care so deeply and for doing this wonderful work.
Hi Carrie,
thank you for your lovely words.
It is my joy to serve you!
Mel 🙏💕💚
Hi there,
Where are the videos to watch?