A few days ago I launched a very special series called The Once Broken and Homeless Man Who Brought The Thriver Model To Life.
Within this series we are tackling, in my humble opinion, the most vital 5 Core Human Beliefs that plague mankind.
These beliefs are fundamental, and working with them is not glib!
Because they ARE the difference between separation and unity and fear and love.
These Beliefs are devastating.
They keep us out in the cold, fearing that we are defective, unlovable and that life doesn’t support us … and …
They keep us separated from our Highest and Truest Self.
In order to identify, break down and reprogram these 5 key Core Human Beliefs, I am taking you through a thorough yet extremely rewarding exercise (which is a mini-version of what I offer in my Programs), to allow you to break down these 5 Core Beliefs in record time.
And as an extra incentive to take part, the MTE team will be drawing 5 people who may choose any MTE course for FREE (valued at up to $225).
So far the results have been amazing, the responses the MTE team and myself have received from Part Two have been nothing short of mind blowing.
People are already reporting hugely different feelings in their body compared to what their previous painful Beliefs were generating – and real Life breakthroughs that are happening very quickly and often instantly.
You can see the public reports of these here.
Okay … please make yourself a nice cup of something and settle in, because we have a LOT of understandings and material to work through in Part Three of this series.
Soooo …. Let’s get started!
But before we do … I want to let you know that the momentum is building for Neale Donald Walsch’s Masterclass.
So many people from our wonderful Thriver Community, as well as Spiritual and Relationship Communities from all over the World, have registered for his upcoming event.
This is such an indication of the movement in our world away from the old paradigms and into the new ones, and just how much humanity is SHIFTING toward realities that are more loving, connected, joyful and Life-affirming.
I just LOVE that there is a such a movement away from separation and all the pain … we truly are coming together.
And this shift of “togetherness” needs to happen within our Own Being FIRST, because then we start expressing and creating what a “together” person does.
More togetherness.
Ok … so now that’s done, let’s start our dive inwards … because I am so excited to tackle these NEXT Three Human Core Beliefs with you.
And, after you’ve done the workshopping in this article, please remember to post the answers to the 3 questions at the end of this article, and the 2 questions from the previous article to go into a draw at the end of next week, whereby 5 people will be drawn to receive a FREE MTE Course of their choice valued up to $225.00.
Now … lets get down to business and start unravelling and healing from the painful restrictions that Core Belief Number 3 has held is in.
Core Belief Number Three: Behaviours are Created by Belief, and the Only Way to Change Behaviour is to Change the Core Belief
Resurrecting Core Belief Number 3 is Life Changing and the Ultimate Belief to accept if we wish to be the Master of our Life instead of the Victim of it.
The truth is … we ALL want to change aspects of our life that are painful and are not working for us, and when we stop trying to change “what has happened” and “things and people” and rather change our own Inner Identity powerfully in order to generate a different reality …
… THEN we find that everything changes.
There’s also something else that we notice.
This … that all the previous struggling and fighting with things, people and ourselves DROPS away.
Change starts becoming effortless and just falls into place.
Why?
Because Our Being came into alignment with being the change we seek. And when we create change at that Quantum Level we can throw away FOREVER the notion that extreme struggle, pain and willpower is necessary in order to change.
Because it isn’t.
In fact, when we change ourselves at the Level of Belief we find that we simply and organically are “changed”.
Life is NOT meant to be a battle, it is meant to be a natural, holistic outpour of Who We Are Being. (It actually always is.)
Therefore, once you start working on your level of “Beingness”, you will experience breakthroughs, success and new life trajectories with ease … ones that you NEVER had access to before this time.
The entire key of Belief Number 3 is this understanding …
Our “doing” and “experiencing” is ALL coming from our “being”.
“There are those who say that seeing is believing. I am telling you that believing is seeing.”
― Neale Donald Walsch, Home with God: In a Life That Never Ends
Yet, within our normal human experience we were not taught to course correct at the level of Belief.
The thinking that we can create change by focusing on changing behaviour, is one of the most futile false premises of the Human Condition.
(This is a powerful and interesting topic … oh so interesting!)
When we look at this DEEPLY we can see how insane the notion and how painful and victimizing it is, when we focus on trying to change our own or anyone else’s painful behavior without addressing belief.
In my previous Life there were really serious issues I had tried hard to address for decades.
Namely “addictions”.
Anything that made me feel “good” I wanted more of.
Food, alcohol, work, cigarettes … (just to name a few) … but really anything that gave me a “high”.
It wasn’t until I did the deep Inner Journey of addressing my subconscious programming and up-leveled it (so much Inner Wisdom comes when we do this) that I realized the UTTER TRUTH – that NO psychologist, counsellor, therapist, book, seminar or workshop had ever told me.
This …
The things that I got addicted to, that I thought felt “good”, were things that were REALLY just taking away me away from the anxiety and depressions I was constantly in (as my normal) as a result of the inner traumas in my body that I had not as yet attended to.
Meaning “addictions” for a moment were distracting me from being with myself.
They were momentarily granting me RELIEF! That is what the “good-feeling” was about!
What was really the issue was this: my inner traumas causing me to be anxious and depressed.
The “addictions” were SIMPLY the symptom – whatever choice I was choosing in that moment of inner pain to self-medicate with.
The massive issue I was having, with trying to stop doing self-annihilating addictions, was that I was trying to address myself at the Level of Behaviour with NO success.
Thus my attempts to stop “addictions” failed. Even though I stopped regular excessive drinking, I swapped alcoholism for severe nicotine addiction combined with workaholism, as well as a bunch of other obsessive / compulsive behaviors.
Self-development and spirituality also became a huge addiction.
I was constantly meditating, reading books, getting healings and doing seminars, but hadn’t realized WHY every time I stopped doing it (even for a very short time) that I was again engulfed with depression and anxiety.
Because trauma and painful Beliefs were still wedged in my Being, deep in my subconscious – they had never been released and were still generating anxiety and depression.
Could I just BE healthy?
No!
My Inner Wounds would frantically scream, as soon as the distractions weren’t happening, “Will you PLLLEEEAASSSSEEE just turn inside and come to me and heal me??”
But I didn’t … I still kept trying to “put ice-cream on top of poop”!!
It wasn’t until my final breakdown on my bathroom floor … when Life had finally checkmated me with no-where to go … that I realized the TRUTH.
Turn inwards …
Meet self …
Self-partner.
I knew, in the most blinding clarity I had ever received, that I needed to stop running, stop self-avoiding and self-medicating and instead turn inwards to face and heal every inner anxiety (trauma and false belief) that were destroying me and which had caused me to run from myself and destroy myself even more.
It took 18 months to find out how to heal the inner trauma for real, and when I had the formula … this was my Lifetime dedication:
Every time I felt a trigger of anxiety or depression or an urge of feeling compulsive about WANTING something … I went in my body and found the trauma that was behind it all, loaded it up in my body with Quanta Freedom Healing, spiraled the trauma and all its associated energy out and brought in my Higher Self Healing.
One by one by one the traumas dissolved.
My addictions disappeared literally overnight.
My hardest addiction to quit was smoking; I was a chain smoker and had been for 31 years.
Once I addressed the traumas of feeling “alone’ and “unsupported” and wanting a cigarette in my mouth (a comforter) to have a connection to “something” in these times … in 2 days times I had kicked cigarettes for good – with NO cravings.
I had been “giving up smoking” every other week, by trying to address “behavior” for the last 15 years. Yet, by working at tracking the trauma through my body and getting to the CAUSE (the actual trauma and beliefs), I was cured within 2 days with no aftereffects – not even physical ones.
When we realize the problem actually has nothing to do with the addiction (because that is only a choice of self-medication), we stop focusing on trying to battle the surface level symptom, and rather we focus on dismantling and healing the faulty beliefs underneath it which are the true cause.
Then, when we no longer hold the trauma in our body, it is unthinkable to do the compulsive act that we were self-medicating with – it just isn’t a match for us anymore.
Naturally, not all painful, devastating or destructive behavior needs to fall under the banner of “addictions”, yet truly all “acting out” in non-holistic ways (that does not generate Love and Unity Consciousness) are reactions to programming and or trauma.
Let’s have a look at these examples:
How on earth could a mother be happy about her child being groomed from an early age to be a suicide bomber?
There is only ONE answer for that …
She has been programmed by her race and culture to believe that this is a highly prestigious and religiously rewarded act for her child, herself, her family and her country.
Without that programming, knowing your child was going to blow himself up is UNTHINKABLE to any parent – let alone being happy about it.
I want to use an example this extreme to wake you up – because we all need to understand HOW belief affects behavior if we want to stop being victims and if we want to change our personal and collective experience.
Unthinkable thing happens in our world every second.
We have, all ourselves, at times done unthinkable things, and we have all, somewhere in our life received and experienced other’s behavior in unthinkable ways.
(Isn’t that the truth in this Community because we have been narcissistically abused?)
This is where we need to understand there is not one thing that ANY person EVER does that is not a direct match for their belief systems on that particular subject in that moment.
“No one does anything inappropriate, given their model of the world.”
― Neale Donald Walsch
Think when you have been triggered and another part of you TOOK OVER and you acted in ways that were not your Highest and Best Self.
Please accept this next example … and even though it is quite shocking, it is really important to understand the truth here.
And we can even start to have compassion (which is so necessary for us and our world is to heal) in regard to how damaging and destructive the impregnation of traumatic beliefs can be.
And … how it INFECTS individuals and humanity profoundly.
Someone who can sexually abuse defenseless others was generally sexually abused as a child themselves. These people carry shame and feelings of being “dirty and sexually soiled” and that they are somehow “evil”.
(Interestingly this is exactly the same wounds that the person who abused them was carrying at the time of them being violated.)
This is the Psychic Virus (abuse) that destroys generations, religions and races – truly I can’t tell you how many people from Ireland I have worked on with Quanta Freedom Healing for the traumas of generational incest and mental institutionalisation.
How can we stop the contamination and the spread of the effects of abuse?
The only way is this: people who are infected with the virus cleaning up their Inner Identities – getting the trauma and toxicity out of their Being and opening up the space for their organic True Self to fill them.
Then they will NOT stay stuck in or act out the trauma on themselves as victims, or their offspring or other humans as perpetrators.
In other words, Healing For Real the traumas and devastating Belief Systems in their Inner Beings.
That is how we heal the Human Condition – one person at a time.
And the only person we can ever heal is ourselves – period.
We can break the cycle within ourselves – in regard to all abuse, fear, depression, and anxiety … and break free from the infections that are NOT our True Self.
This will never happen when we are focused on punishing and trying to reform behaviour.
Look at our world for the clear evidence of how effective that has been.
Totally NOT.
When we understand that we need to change behavior at the level of belief we can understand this …
Will power is often ineffective.
This is why you can’t stop yourself eating chocolate cake when you know it doesn’t serve you – or motivate yourself to go to gym even though you would dearly love to lose 20 pounds.
Or … why you can’t bring yourself to say sorry to certain people when you know it is the right thing to do.
Or … why you are terrified to study for a better job.
Or … why you don’t have a conversation with a loved one about what is bothering you.
The list goes on and on.
Trying to just force yourself to behave differently without addressing the reason why you are behaving the way you are is pointless.
Because at the level of Belief your Inner Identity for some reason is not allowing you to do it.
In the case of eating things you shouldn’t and not exercising – you may have received these messages when you were young … the painful words that embedded within as a part of your Inner Identity.
You’re fat, you need to lose weight.
This was trauma … you felt unworthy to be loved. You felt rejected.
That inner program has become “your truth” and your willpower has no ability to override it, and can’t until that trauma is released and there is the space inside you to be reprogrammed with something different.
The same applies for every behavior you can’t JUST change. There is either intense programming – cultural, religious, generational, familial, or / and there is trauma involved.
Can you imagine having a conversation with a mother who is proud of her child who will one day blow themselves up, or a pedophile and tell them why this shouldn’t happen and think they WOULD agree with you?
What they are doing is not logically able to be addressed; it is deeply ingrained Emotional Beliefs that are generating the behavior.
Can you understand now WHY the persistent habits in your Life such as smoking, over-eating, lack of looking after yourself, fear of stepping out of comfort zones, handing your power over to others (even when they continue to hurt you) etc. etc. etc. is so hard to change when you are merely trying to address it with “information” and “logic”?
I hope so … because nothing less than transformation of your Inner Identity Belief Systems will cut it.
And we all have no idea what it is that we need to transform until we come inside, self-partner and create a relationship with our Inner Being to find out.
No outer person (not even a psychologist) can grant you the truth that ONLY your Inner Being knows.
Personal transformation is called “personal transformation” for a very good reason, because it is between your Inner Being and you!
Only the tiniest percentage of humankind is living anywhere near their full potential, because the majority are not changing and developing themselves at the Level of Belief.
Narcissists and perpetual victims never get better because they refuse to self-partner or stop holding everything and everyone else responsible.
So are you ready… to really change your life by addressing yourself at the Level of Belief?
If your answer is “Yes”, then let’s DO it!
WORKSHOP EXERCISES
(Important message) *** Please note you may need to only work one incident / emotion / belief through to conclusion – to REALLY do it thoroughly and have time to answer the questions on the blog in time.
You can go back to this template to keep working on all the other False Beliefs you unearth at any time afterwards!
If you are a NARP Member, because you are able to shift your DNA directly, there is no need to work through Questions 1-6 (unless you choose to) and then instead of working with number 7 go to the exercise underneath it.
Soooo, here we go!! Let’s get started!
1) Take out your journal and ask yourself what are the behaviours you know you do that you MOST struggle with.
List these incidents.
Such as:
“Being hard on myself”, “Seeking other people to look after me and not looking after myself”, “Trying to force people to love me”, Having the addiction to (whatever it is).”
2) Go deeply into a “scene” in your imagination about these incidences. Don’t write about it just imagine it.
Then close your eyes and take your attention inside yourself.
Then feel WHERE in your body you can feel the energy of the trauma (the painful feeling).
(In the case of an addiction, Imagine the “urge” to do the addiction, then not giving into doing the addiction and the feelings that would come up for you as a result.)
It may be in your heart, your solar plexus or maybe your shoulders (it could be anywhere). The energy could be so big that it feels like it is under your skin everywhere.
Then in your journal write out the following:
“My incident is …………….. and I feel it in this body part …………….
Then ask yourself “What do I really feel about this?” and write …
“What I deeply feel about this is …………………….”
Write as much detail as to how you feel about it, as you possibly can.
Really tap in and go for it.
Example:
“Being hard on myself” … I feel it in this body part – my solar plexus. What I deeply feel about this is – an intense inner panic, like a terrible urgency to get it done, and if I slow down or rest things will go horribly wrong etc. etc. ”
3) Then dismiss the “incident” … it’s actually NOT important, rather focus into the FEELINGS you have tapped into, because that is leading you to the Painful Core Beliefs.
List the emotions that you tapped into in Exercise 2 – because now you are going to locate the False Beliefs that are in those painful emotions.
Keep your attention inside you, because this is about connecting to what is going on in your Emotional Self (Inner Identity) and now it is time to start locating the Beliefs.
Deeply breathe and imagine having your body open (so that you can access Infinite Inner Wisdom) and ask yourself “What is the False Belief(s)?”
Example:
Emotionaaaaaaaaaaaaa False Belief(s)
“I feel panicked” aaaaaaaaa“If I don’t succeed I’ll die”
aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa“It’s all up to me to get it done”
aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa“No-one supports me, I only have myself to rely on.”
“I feel urgency”aaaaaaaaaaa“If I don’t get it done now, it will be too late”
aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa “Time is running out
aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa“I can’t survive – its hopeless.
etc. etc. etc.
4) After working through your list to find the False Beliefs, emotionally check into them. Rate each one out of /10.
This is in regard to how powerfully (or not) you can feel the energy of the emotion in your body. A 1/10 would be “I barely feel it”, a 10/10 would be “This is hugely painful for me.”
Example:
Emotionaaaaaaaaaaaaa False Belief(s)——————————————–Rating
“I feel panicked” aaaaaaaaa“If I don’t succeed I’ll die”——————————— –10/10
aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa“It’s all up to me to get it done”—————————- –9/10
aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa“No-one supports me, I only have myself to rely on.”—-10/10
“I feel urgency”aaaaaaaaaaa“If I don’t get it done now, it will be too late”———— – 9/10
aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa “Time is running out.”———————————– —10/10
aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa“I can’t survive – its hopeless.”————————- —10/10
etc. etc. etc.
The ones with the most energy are the ones with the biggest charge.
THESE are the ones that have the greatest hold over you, and are the ones that are continually re-appearing as REAL EVIDENCE in your Life confirming the validity of the Belief – until reprogrammed.
5) Now that you have had an INCREDIBLE awakening in regard to what has been REALLY going on inside you, ask you Inner Being (with your eyes closed) “What are the defenses I have been using to try to protect myself from getting more hurt in regard to my painful beliefs?”
And know that this is about identifying EXACTLY how you have been showing up in ways that help generate the painful belief!
Example:
I can’t sit still, or ever relax without having incredible feelings of burden, responsibility and guilt. The only time I ever tune out is when I am asleep or under the influence of alcohol.
If I do anything nice for myself I punish myself twice as hard with work and / or exercise afterwards.
I refuse many social engagements.
I don’t accept people’s help when they offer it, because I am terrified they wont do it right, or what they will hold over me if I do accept.
I expect people NOT to support me and don’t even give them a chance to.
I constantly tell myself “I don’t have enough time.”
I push myself even when I am exhausted, and I don’t listen to my body telling me to slow down.
6) Now for every realization regarding how you have been showing up – ask your Inner Being “the age” of this part
This is where you need to tap in and ask yourself, How old is this part of me?
This is about understanding that our original traumas came from our childhood. No parents were perfect, and in the cases when they were emotionally absent, neglectful, engulfing or abusive they were acting out from their own traumas and painful Core Beliefs that they took on from their parents.
We were negatively programmed in so many ways – often we have trauma DNA (epigenetics proves this now) that is a part of our Being from the moment of conception, and then what is likely is we are born into an environment where that same trauma pattern plays out.
The problem is, when unresolved, this trauma then repeats in our adult life, until it is reprogrammed (which is EXACTLY what we are working on today!).
Sooo, in regard to the age, we are generally looking for a young part of self … and it will come as an intuitive message – a gut feeling, a flash of a number … or a memory that pops up.
Just trust …
If a number doesn’t come, and especially if this part of you feels like it was always there, then write “ancient”.
You were born with this … it was in your DNA even before you were born.
Example:
I can’t sit still, or ever relax without having incredible feelings of burden, responsibility and guilt. The only time I ever tune out is when I am asleep or under the influence of alcohol (This part of me is 2.)
If I do anything nice for myself I punish myself twice as hard with work and / or exercise afterwards (This part of me is 5.)
I refuse many social engagements. (This part of me is 1.)
I don’t accept people’s help when they offer it, because I am terrified they won’t do it right, or what they will hold over me if I do accept. (This part of me is ancient.)
I expect people NOT to support me and don’t even give them a chance to. (This part of me is ancient.)
I constantly tell myself “I don’t have enough time.” (This part of me is ancient.)
I push myself even when I am exhausted, I don’t listen to my body telling me to slow down. (This part of me is 4.)
7) Use the following prayer to create a shift for these parts of Your Inner Being. Whilst doing so imagine holding this part, freeing him or her of the trauma and replacing the trauma with his or her True Self.
In this part of the “shift” we are working with Quantum Reality … meaning we don’t need to “work this out” or even “change how we think about it”.
What we HAVE done is identified the ENERGY of the trauma and Painful Belief in our being, and now we are going to shift it out and replace it.
This is soul-level work that has so much more power than what we can ever achieve cognitively.
When we get a body shift then our brain automatically follows, and that is what we seek. The old paradigms of trying to get the brain to change in our to create Inner Identity shirt regurgitate the pain and “what happened” over and over again and usually completely ineffective for extreme trauma. In fact, OFTEN it creates more damage and more cementing of victimization than good.
Hence why we need a Healing System and Path that really works.
Here is the prayer:
“Dearly beloved (age) part of me. I now grant you permission to release the traumas and faulty beliefs that you took on that were never yours to begin with.
I ask yours and my Higher Self and Power to take these away, and dissolve these into the native nothingness that they truly are.
I ask for both of our Higher Power to open up the space where these traumas and beliefs once were and to fill them with Light – the Light of our True Self who knows the Resolution and Truth on these Topics.
And so it is.
Amen.”
This prayer is powerful if you do a visualization with it (whatever feels right for you for each component.)
Such as “seeing” the junk being released, taken away and dissolved, space opening up in the cells of your body and Light filling then from above.
Now the instructions for NARP Members regarding the “shift” itself.
Use the Goal Setting Module and set up “The Source Healing and Resolution of This” as your goal … in regard to the Behaviours you want to stop doing.
(In the case of an addiction, imagine the “urge” to do the addiction, then not giving into doing the addiction and the feelings that would come up for you as a result.)
Target these, one at a time, in your body (the hurt and pain of these behaviours) and track to origin and clear with the QFH process until you reach a 10/10.
Naturally start with the behaviours that you know are affecting you now – the ones that are sabotaging your life the most.
When we work on ourselves at the Level of Belief, this may seem like a lot of work, but can you IMAGINE what your Life will look like when you organically BECOME the changes you seek?
Peaceful, effortless, healthy, successful … and most of all self-loving.
This stuff is HUGE … truly …
Okay now lets get onto Core Belief Number 4..
This one is big!
It’s a true Quantum Leap
Core Belief Number Four: “I Only Send You Angels”
As I stated in Part One, this was the incredibly profound quote from Neale Donald Walsh which led me to adopt the expression A.I.D.s (Angels In Disguise), meaning that everyone we encounter is a Soul Contract to assist our soul’s agenda of personal and collective evolution.
This is the belief that people who believe I “victim bash” and don’t focus enough on holding perpetrators accountable, struggle the most to accept.
I understand, because I used to feel totally the same way.
Once upon a time there was no way I believed anything about myself “caused” my abuse … and heaven help anyone that suggested there was anything about me that I needed to look at.
As far as I was concerned, I was an honest, good woman who got taken down by a horrible sociopath.
And that would have all been good and well if I could have held onto those beliefs, moved on and had a Great Life.
But I couldn’t.
If I hadn’t let those beliefs go, I would have gone to my grave with them, at the age of forty.
And in my awakening, rather than having the experience of blaming myself, (I am so adamantly opposed to the concept of “blame”!) rather I had this total knowing: this journey with him was to do with my unconscious wounds that I had taken on from my ancestral DNA and childhood.
These wounds I had carried ALL my life (in fact many lifetimes).
And … I had suffered disappointments regarding them for years. But before, because I was “stubborn” and “tough”, I could get up and carry on again.
But … this time had landed me at the make or break experience … of
… evolve or dissolve.
At soul level I had chosen all of this perfectly for the purpose of freeing myself from my traumas and limiting beliefs … and (as I know many of you doing the same soul work understand) and also to do that (humbly) for the collective.
All the choices I had made (including the rubbish ones) had perfectly set up this moment of time of complete and utter breakdown to FINALLY get done what I had come to do.
Thank God this time I got it!
And I knew with every fabric of my Being that if the narcissist had not come along to smash me to the point of near extinction with my own wounds, then someone else would have needed to do it.
I had received “mini versions” before – signposts. But I missed them.
I needed the whopping great billboard.
I knew, even before I had recovered, that what had happened was the grandest opportunity to NOW focus fully on myself and release myself from my own limitations and wounds that had NEVER allowed me to truly be free, happy and alive (regardless of the incredible achievements I had achieved).
Because nothing less would ever truly gratify my Soul (meaning the Real Me!).
My previous life had been so conditional.
I was only ever as good as my last achievement, and my entire life in-between “success” was fraught with anxiety and depression, because even when I achieved something my emotional state was so precariously poised on having it – that I would be terrified of losing it.
I never felt I had enough security, safety and love … and often as a result I would push it away, sabotage myself and always have to put out fires to try and stop my greatest fears erupting – which of course they always did!
And this was my “normal”… I was, like so many others, entrenched in a Life of Survival, on a hamster wheel that was shredding my Life-force with no way off.
Only changing myself at the level of Beingness could end the nightmare … and for the first time of my life I was forced to attend to my Beingness because there was nowhere else left to go.
Thank God I got hit that HARD.
With what I know now, and how I am now a completely different being than I was before narcissistic abuse – I would have paid millions for the experience.
(In fact in many ways I did, and every bit of it was worth it.)
Now … here is the huge bit …
At the level of personality, I acknowledge both the narcissists in my Life were very unconscious, traumatized, unhealthy and sick human beings – who are totally unaware and in no way would wish to have granted me the incredible gifts I receive via them.
And truly, at the personality level – I have no connection with them, no desire to, and couldn’t frankly care less about anything they think – because these men are Not My Reality in any shape or form.
However … at Soul level – Soul to Soul – I am CRAZILY grateful.
Because what is the greatest gift one Soul could grant another?
I believe it is this …
Giving someone back to loving themself.
This is why I see these Soul Contracts as A.I.D.s.
These men allowed me to break through my own barriers to self that no-other human beings had forced me to do.
Where would I be now without that?
I shudder to think.
And my beliefs have NOT let these men off the hook!! I am not glorifying them!!!
This is not about “granting them anything” it is a GIFT to myself!!!
“The way to move out of judgement is to move into gratitude”
― Neale Donald Walsch
I have set myself free to the level where I could stop being a victim, stop feeding them power, stop making narcissists important by holding them responsible for my wounds … and be able to release all hooks, obsession, pain and trauma that was keeping me trapped in the AGONY of wanting the accountability from their maladapted personalities that was NEVER going to come.
(This is what people wanting to stay stuck in Standard Victimisation and “holding abusers accountable” don’t understand!)
Also … as a result of evolving myself beyond abuse, with the immense gratitude to take on the development and expansion of my Own Being, I am in a position to help others get out of the literal and emotional clutches of narcissistic abuse and also evolve themselves to a level whereby they will never be narcissistic supply again.
The Thriver Promise is also so much more than that ― it allows individuals to generate the MOST incredible lives they could ever imagine.
When we reach the Ultimate Quantum Breakthrough of no longer holding people responsible for granting us the love, approval, survival and security that as adults we are not as yet generating for ourselves … we realise what this was really about.
It was about coming home to ourselves … our own Higher Power and becoming a self generative force working in with the organic wellbeing of Life, instead of being separated from it.
When we come home to ourselves, we can directly partner with God / Source, Existence and Life …. that is where our divinity and nirvana is … it is NOT through False Substitutes … which is what we assigned narcissists as.
The Highest Level of Divine Forgiveness is this:
There is actually nothing to forgive, because this wasn’t even about you, you were merely a catalyst … it was always about me and my freedom from myself.
And … Life is happening FOR me and not TO me.
WORKSHOP EXERCISES
(Important message) *** Please note you will need to possibly only work one incident / emotion / belief through to conclusion – to REALLY do it thoroughly and have time to answer the questions on the blog in time.
You can go back to this template to keep working on all the False Beliefs you unearth at any time afterwards!
If you are a NARP Member simply go to the exercise after Exercise 7, there is no need to process through exercise 1-7 (However if you wish to you may).
Okay this is simple … we repeat the process.
All you need to do is go to the questions 1- 7 above and start off with Question 1) “Take out your journal and ask yourself what are the times when you personally felt “you could not forgive someone or yourself for something?”
And then simply follow the instructions on this Core Belief all the way through to Question 7.
Now … here are the instructions for NARP Members regarding these shifts:
Use the Goal Setting Module and set up “The Source Healing and Resolution of This” as your goal … in regard to whichever person or yourself who you have not been able to forgive.
Target the charges of not being able to forgive in your body and track to origin and clear with the QFH process until you reach a 10/10.
I promise you … as a result of transcending resentment, hurt, regret and all the other limiting human emotions which energetically create a Field of continuing to experience more of the same … you will break free.
Also, you will see how Life arranges to bring justice and truth as the organic system it is, when we are no longer trapped in our victimized feelings.
Let’s now go deeply into Core Belief Number Five which is really an extension of Core Belief Number Four.
Core Belief Number Five: There is a Divine Purpose Behind Everything and Therefore a Divine Presence in Everything
“There is no coincidence in the universe—only a grand design; an incredible ‘snowflake’.”
― Neale Donald Walsch, The Complete Conversations with God
When we understand that Life is happening for us and not to us, this opens us up to an incredible level of depth, whereby we leave behind stuck victimization and start developing as per the feedback Life grants us.
This allows us to take notice and self-partner deeply, in order to create an incredibly solid self-relationship, and then course correct with up-levelling, and use our Life Experience as the constant Training Ground to joyfully and joyously grow, develop, expand, experience and NOT get stuck in repeat cycles because we’re not getting the message.
Which is no fun at all.
Boy, did I used to be the perpetual victim!
I was one of those passive aggressive (and sometimes not so passive) people who used to whine, complain, point the finger and righteously declare constantly how I was not happy about this and how I was not happy about that.
And, of course, my Life was full of “things going wrong.”
My attitude now regarding “things going wrong” is always to deeply connect to What’s the gift in this? … and because of this orientation I get granted the gift regularly and very few things go “wrong”.
Rather than being the utter control freak I used to be, I now love flowing with “curve balls” … because I know the Universe is rearranging to create even greater outcomes for me (which always happens).
But it’s not like we can just flick a switch to get there.
We don’t just wake up one day and say, “Ok Beliefs – you are now set on the dial of for me and not against me .. and now nothing “bad” will ever happen again.”
Nope … sorry! That is not how Soul Evolution is granted!
We need to walk through the fire. We need to transcend. We need to graduate.
We need to embrace and experience the “bad” and wake up to realize what spiritual personal responsibility really means.
It means being self-partnered, awake and having a relationship with your Inner Being.
Let me explain with these examples.
Laura is a Law of Attraction advocate.
She is in a supermarket and a crazy homeless man wanders in. He’s drunk and he lines her up in the isle and starts yelling abuse at her.
Laura is terrified … she runs out of the supermarket shaking.
All sorts of thoughts are going through her head …
What is it about me that attracted him? Maybe I have suppressed anger still? I really need to take this to my next Law of Attraction meeting and ask people HOW on earth I attracted this experience to me.
Laura is in her head, she is not self-partnered and she has no idea that her answers and development to this are WITHIN.
Ray enters the same supermarket.
The same crazy man starts yelling abuse at him.
Ray is initially taken aback, and then notices he is not emotionally triggered. For a moment he considers trying to connect with the man, but intuitively he knows because the man is drunk that it is not a good idea.
He says to the man in a firm voice “Wait right here”, turns away and goes to the front counter and informs staff and security.
Ray is self-partnered, he has worked on his own development especially regarding his traumatic past. Ray’s father was a narcissist and a drunk who was incredibly violent and abusive.
Ray has been working on his Inner Idenitiy with Quanta Freedom Healing (the NARP Program) to release and up-level his childhood traumas of his father’s abuse.
And, as a result of the “supermarket incident”, Ray was punching the air with utter excitement and joy and gratitude that Life has just presented him with the real life evidence of his graduation from his original trauma.
Because before doing the work on his Inner Being, there is NO WAY Ray could have shown up like that.
(Rays story is a true story and the MTE team receive emails of gratitude of similar incidents every day from all over the world.)
Can you see how the jigsaw puzzle of Life does fit into place as an organic support to our evolution?
Meaning Life and God loves us so much that this unseen force wants nothing more than for us to be developed and freed into our Truest and Highest Selves.
Life is always feeding back exactly this: The evidence of your evolution (or not) on any particular topic.
“I do not show My goodness by creating only what you call perfection all around you. I do not demonstrate My love by not allowing you to demonstrate yours.”
― Neale Donald Walsch, The Complete Conversations with God
Laura had not realized that her triggers and terror were to do with her as yet unhealed wounds regarding trauma and abuse from her childhood.
She was still in her head, and still unconscious.
Ray had already awakened.
And … he HAD done the work on his.
WORKSHOP EXERCISES
(Important message) *** Please note you will need to possibly only work one incident / emotion / belief through to conclusion – to REALLY do it thoroughly and have time to answer the questions on the blog in time.
You can go back to this template to keep working on all the False Beliefs you unearth at any time afterwards!
If you are a NARP Member simply go to the exercise after Exercise 7, there is no need to process through exercise 1-7 (However if you wish to you may).
Okay this is simple … we repeat the process.
All you need to do is go to the questions 1- 7 above and start off with Question 1) “Take out your journal and ask yourself what are the times when you personally felt “I can’t accept that happened for a reason?”
And then simply follow the instructions on this Core Belief all the way through to Question 7.
Now … here are the instructions for NARP Members regarding these shifts:
Use the Goal Setting Module and set up “The Source Healing and Resolution of This” as your goal … in regard to whatever incident or situation or Life event that you can’t accept happened for a reason.
Target the charges of not being “able to accept” in your body and track to origin and clear with the QFH process until you reach a 10/10.
By shifting Core Belief Number Five through to it’s True Self state, you will have reached your graduation.
Meaning … your ability to embody “the lesson”, evolve beyond the previous level you were operating at, and eliminate the need in your Life to go through the same lesson again.
This is what True Evolution is really about.
And like Ray, you will discover, it is very, very likely that a situation will show up in your Life to grant you the incredible feedback to show you, Am I really through this one?
And this is where we can stop fearing Life, stop trying to control it or hide out from it … and most importantly STOP judging what shows up –thinking that it is anything LESS than Divine.
Because Divinity is everywhere …
And believing it isn’t means that we are living in an experience of “hell”.
“Pain results from a judgment you have made about a thing. Remove the judgment and the pain disappears.”
― Neale Donald Walsch, The Complete Conversations with God
I Hope You Enjoyed This Series!
Personally, I know the utter joy of being released from the agony of Faulty Core Beliefs in order to start generating Life and Joy at the levels that our Beings were always created to experience.
History is full of countless people who had to fight through incredible adversities, setbacks, heartbreaks and devastation as well as suffering some of the worst childhood wounding, to come out the other side … to share their special gifts with the world.
MANY successful, soul-fulfilled people were not born into it.
The greatest thing that all of these people overcame – to not just merely Survive but to Thrive – was their Beliefs about themselves and Life.
The Beliefs that they had been inflicted with by their forebears, which had culminated into their Real Life experiences of pain and despair, and then the continued aftershock … until their Inner Beings shifted.
Are these people’s lives compromised of random previous events of devastation and then a fluke of luck that turned it all around for them?
Or … was it a Soul Choice, granting that person the exact grist required to evolve their Being for themselves, their future generations and humanity?
I believe with every cell within me – it was the latter.
Just as I believe, beyond doubt, that everyone who has gone through Narcissistic Abuse is being called to awaken at this level – to experience the ultimate up-levelling of their Life.
And as such … when we know these following Five things as a pure embodiment within our Being …
1) Everything and Everyone Is Connected
2) We Are Loved Simply Because We Exist
3) Change Is Created at the Level of Belief
4) Life Only Sends Angels
And …
5) Divinity Exists Everywhere …
… we truly have the formula to BE “heaven on earth” one person at a time.
And in no-way does this means we will be “fluffy”, “unprotected”, “too trusting” or “easily taken and abused” … it is in fact the EXACT opposite.
The embodiment of these beliefs mean this: we are in our body, we are self-partnered … we are no longer being a victim, we take responsibility for our own wellbeing and evolution and we know how to show up and healthily generate that with capable others.
And we bless and release and stop dancing with those who aren’t healthy – because they are no longer a match for us … because we have transcended our previous woundedness that these A.I.D.s were bringing to our attention.
Our entire world would heal if every individual took on this level of development within their Inner Being.
And I am SO passionate about doing what I can to help our world achieve it.
The Thriver Model that I have shared with this Community over the last nine years, and specifically the Narcissistic Abuse Recovery Program – which provides people with an effective Quantum super-tool to shift their subconscious programs is exactly the work Neal Donald Walsch inspired within me in the late 90s.
And I really do urge you … IF you are struggling after this 7 step-process (meaning you feel that shift and change is not happening, or is going to be a hard and long process … or even if you just want a more POWERFUL tool to achieve your shift work) to consider taking a deeper look at the NARP Program, because it is a Quantum Tool that teaches you how to communicate DIRECTLY with your cellular DNA, reprogram it and clear your Energy Field of trauma at multiple subconscious levels.
It is THE tool that people in this Community have used to create breakthrough healing – even when nothing else in their life could achieve it.
NARP fast tracks recovery more than any other process myself and so many others have ever seen!
As an addition to the Workshopping from these last two articles, if you haven’t already, I strongly recommend that you take part in Neale’s event called – Conversations With God: The 3 Secrets To Ending The Struggle And Making Your Life Work which will bring about an even greater development to your journey of embodying these Five Core Beliefs.
The event kicks off tomorrow – Thursday July 7, 7PM PST. So this is your last chance to sign up before the live event!
And please know if you can’t make it live, you will receive a follow up recording.
Register now to reserve your space.
I really hope we have had the most amazing time together, and please know I understand that this work is confronting, often painful and not for the faint hearted.
Gary Zukav once wrote about how in the army he jumped out of helicopters, fully armed … in the darkness into war zones … and how facing his Inner Being took far more courage.
Truly, I believe this is only because of our Beliefs … the insane human programming of doing self-avoidance at all costs because we will find something deplorable if we go inside.
(There has been a MASSIVE cost – devastation and destruction on personal and collective scales world-wide.)
Yet, when we self-partner, what we really find is a previous part of ourselves who dearly needs our love and healing … and when we commit to that – we finally find the love, comfort and safety we were always trying to get from everywhere else.
What a RELIEF!
To Be Eligible for the MTE Draw
Before we conclude this series I want to clarify EXATLY what you need to do to be eligible for the Free Course Draw, where you will go in the chance to win 1 of 5 free MTE courses (you get to choose whichever one you like, valued up to $225).
To be eligible you must:
1) Post your answers to the three questions in the previous article’s comments section here.
2) Post your answers to the three questions below in this article’s comment section.
3) Do so before Sunday 10th July 10AM AEST when the competition will be officially closed. To work out what time this is in your time zone click here, and choose “Melbourne (Victoria)” as the location.
(Remember you can always remain anonymous!)
Okay here are your questions for this article – Part 3.
**Please note the follow questions are relevant for NARP and non-NARP Members.
1) What are some of the Faulty Beliefs your Inner Identify revealed to you in regard to False Core Belief Three, Four and Five?
2) Can you see in what ways you have been showing up that have confirmed these False Beliefs and made them “real”? Describe these ways.
3) How do you feel after the bringing in of your True Self to replace where the False Beliefs / traumas originally were (your ending prayer / NARP Module Shift)?
I look forward to your posts, comments and questions about this Workshopping and I am so excited about theses individual and collective breakthroughs!
And I’ll be with you in Neale’s Masterclass!!!
Can’t wait!!
1) What are some of the Faulty Beliefs your Inner Identify revealed to you in regard to False Core Belief One and Two?
If I get in the grownups’ face and tell him or her where they can stick those beliefs, there will be more trouble than there already is and definitely don’t show when you’re secretly in disagreeent with what they believe in: We’re all here to impress each other and fight over who gets to stand higher on the totem pole, fight over scraps that are thrown to us. The grownups say it’s for your own good and that they want you to toughen up. After all if you can’t stand up on your own two feet in that world and have something to show for all those high minded beliefs, what’s the point of you. “Shame on you” — idealogue! There’s always enough guilt and shame to go around. Try to stay out of its trajectory when they sling it. They’re usually bigger and stronger and clobber power is everything. The one who terrorizes best, wins. If you were really on the right path, you’d have something to show for it by now. You are the problem! and problems need to disappear. Don’t make more problems!
2) Can you see in what ways you have been showing up that have confirmed these False Beliefs and made them “real”? Describe these ways.
We told you the world is unsafe. That’ll teach you. Did you learn nothing from what happened? I’m usually not able to show up. Often I’m sorry I did if I was able to show up. I’m the problem. I really should go away, but then I have this other place…
3) How do you feel after the bringing in of your True Self to replace where the False Beliefs / traumas originally were (your ending prayer / NARP Module Shift)?
Copied the prayer down to read to myself. None of the healing ideas presented here are new: Consciousness made manifest; the inside is the outside. Having something to show for it, not yet having “you’ll show them,” not there. Know the grownups are probably still arguing in the next room about problems, and I don’t do that well with tuning it out. Awareness that trauma creates disconnection from source and makes disunity of unity but hasn’t it always been that way. Will resume reading my book which me focus on a world where it doesn’t have to be that way. “If not this world, maybe the next.” Another long hot summer with more months of it ahead. Have never been well during the summers
Hi Metal Rabbit,
thank you for your post here … and I just want to help steer you little – if that is okay …
It sounds like absolutely you have had and are still having a really tough time and my heart goes out to you.
I’d really like to help you little to get deeper then the just the observation “mind level” to get deeper into the Emotional Beliefs – and this is actually a really good example for many who may read this – so thank you for granting that opportunity (for you and for them).
This one as the example … “If I get in the grownups’ face and tell him or her where they can stick those beliefs, there will be more trouble than there already is …”
That truly is MORE of “the event” …
The real question to get deeper and start accessing the territory of “Belief” is about asking yourself and tapping into – “How do I feel about that?” …
Just as an example: That could be .. I feel hurt, unnoticed, unimportant, thwarted, abused …
When feeling into the BELIEFS … when we ask ourselves (deeply on the inner with our eyes closed whilst breathing, with our body opens and our attention in our body) what are my Beliefs about this? WE may get something like …
“Others don’t value me” “It is not safe to be my real self” “I am not accepted as I am” (or whatever comes) …
When we do this we go past the cognitive level (which we are powerless to transform) into the deeper layers within (the subconscious) which we access through self-partnering with our emotions – and here we CAN transform.
I hope this has helped … because truly it will lead you to breakthrough …
Can you please work with this like such?
And also please in regard to the MTE Draw – if you wish to participate … the answers to Belief One and Two need to be answered on the previous blog article – Number 2 edition.
Thanks Metal Rabbit.
Mel xo
After doing the previous exercises, I was very excited to do these exercises and see what else I could find out about my core beliefs.
Core Belief Three
1) What are some of the Faulty Beliefs your Inner Identify revealed to you in regard to False Core Belief Three?
I asked myself “what are the behavious I want to change, but seem to not be able to? ”
The most difficult behaviour for me to change has been “Not asking people for help when I need help.” It is like I have a compulsion to do everything alone and never, NEVER ask for help.
In relationship to this I find I have many beliefs like:
– I will be punished for asking for help.
– I am a burden to other people, they don’t really want me.
– I should figure this out alone.
One very profound thing I found in doing these exercises is that this part of me who holds these beliefs is very young, a baby – around 6 months old. I don’t know what happened to me as a baby, but I guess I was so neglected and abandoned I decided there was no point ever asking anyone for help. More than that, I learned that asking for help is extremely dangerous and will get me hurt.
I feel intense panic a lot of times when I think I need help and think about asking someone to help me. It has severely limited my life.
Now after I realised this I have been holding my litle baby self in my arms and loving her and crying a lot, telling her I am here with her and she never has to be alone again. I feel there is so much pain to release there, it will take some time to process it all.
2) Can you see in what ways you have been showing up that have confirmed these False Beliefs and made them “real”? Describe these ways.
I see many things that I do that exclude from my experience the possibility of getting help. I think there are even more things that are very subtle that I can not yet identify clearly. The most obvious things are:
– I NEVER ask for help exept if very desperate – which then scares people away.
– I ask for help only from my love partner (substitute for mother) – which makes him fell overburdened and he starts to complain.
– If people seem to want to help but have some obstacle, I just dissmiss my need for help so that it apears it is not really very important to me.
– If people say no when I ask for help, I never ask again.
– When people offer help spontaneously, I brush it aside.
Like you talk about, for some years now I have been trying to modify my behaviour – trying to overcome my fear of asking for help by pushing myself to ask for help despite the fear. But this rarely ever worked out in a good way, because I see now, I keep repeating these sabotaging behaviours that ensure I never feel good and “right” about getting help. It never touches my core belief that is so deep. Only when I can loosen its grip on me will I allow help in.
3) How do you feel after the bringing in of your True Self to replace where the False Beliefs / traumas originally were?
I did the prayer and imagined dense black fog inside my inner baby as I held her. This black fog was released and replaced by light. I felt huge pain inside me, but it softened and my heart opened up allowing a feeling of being conforted and cared for. I cried and rocked a lot. The pain is still there and still very strong, but now I feel I am not all alone with it, that I am held in a loving embrace, to help me disolve it all. I feel I can accept the pain instead of trying to run from it like I have been doing most of the time.
Core Belief Four
1) What are some of the Faulty Beliefs your Inner Identify revealed to you in regard to False Core Belief Four?
I have been experiencing difficulty forgiving my narcissistic partner from acting in ways that have limited severely the time I can spend with my 1-year old daughter. I find that this has to do with my beliefs about the role of anger such as:
– If I stop being angry you will continue to hurt me.
– If I forgive you, you will think that you have done nothing wrong.
– I need to be angry to keep my boundaries up.
– My anger shields me from the pain of what you have done to me.
– If I accept the situation as it is, it is like I am saying there is nothing wrong and nothing needs to change.
2) Can you see in what ways you have been showing up that have confirmed these False Beliefs and made them “real”? Describe these ways.
I think I have never felt so angry in my life as I have since being with this man. I don’t know how to deal with this intensity of anger. But I learned that if he senses I am angry, or if I try to express my anger in a healthy way, he will blast me back with so much anger and agression, nothing good can come out of it. So I started to hide my anger and pretend I am accepting, forgiving and loving when I am not really. I feel trapped, feeling all this anger, wanting to change what is wrong but feeling if I try to do anything about what is making me angry by talking to the N, the result is even worse.
In contemplating this, I realise that anger is just a form of energy that can serve to give me the courage and strength to overcome obstacles and solve problems.
If I stop using my anger to try to change someone or something that can’t be changed, and just focus on how the energy feels in my body and how strong I feel, then I can be empowered to use that energy to change myself and other things that I CAN change to make the situation that is making me angry better.
It is a very childish thing I guess, this belief that if I hold on to the anger and push it against things and people who won’t change that the force of that emotion somehow will change things. The truth is that I am just making myself miserable in this process and making it HARDER for anything to change.
3) How do you feel after the bringing in of your True Self to replace where the False Beliefs / traumas originally were?
I feel strong in my body, I can feel every muscle, like a warrior who knows she can deal with anything that comes her way. I feel joyful and confident that I will find a good way to resolve painful life situations and there is no need to hold on to anger and resentment for other people.
I still feel angry when I think about the situation with my daughter. I feel it needs to change, I want to change it. But there is a lot less of that darkness, the wish to hurt or punish her father for what he is doing. There is much more light and courage and strength in it.
Core Belief Five
1) What are some of the Faulty Beliefs your Inner Identify revealed to you in regard to False Core Belief Five?
“I can’t accept that happened for a reason” – I am finding it hard to accept that there was a positive reason for me to fall for this narcissistic man and have a baby with him. I feel deep sadness when I think about it and these beliefs come up:
– It is wrong for bad things to happen to me.
– There is no God if these things can happen.
– I don’t have the power to overcome such a bad situation.
– The time I have spent dealing with these dificulties and this pain is useless and wasted.
– I don’t believe in the goodness of life anymore.
– I don’t believe in my ability and my child’s ability to recover and thrive after such pain.
2) Can you see in what ways you have been showing up that have confirmed these False Beliefs and made them “real”? Describe these ways.
I have been focusing on all the negative things that have happened and ignored the positive things that I have gained. Even to the point that I would like to go back in time and not have my child (I feel guilty when I think about this).
I love this child more than anything in the world, and I still can’t cherish her enough to overcome all the negativity. I have learnt so much, grown so much, but I give this very litle importance. It still takes a lot of effort to stear my mind away from thinking about negative things to find the positive in doing this exercise. I think I am really stuck!
3) How do you feel after the bringing in of your True Self to replace where the False Beliefs / traumas originally were?
I still feel a lot of pain in my core, but now I feel like there is a conforting presence by my side. I feel the burden is a bit lighter and I will make it through this, even if it takes time and pacience.
Hi Sara,
it is wonderful that you are applying yourself so diligently to this!
I am so happy for you that you are excited!!
Wow Sara – that is fantastic…and brilliant tapping in to find that really young part – the baby part – who was holding those beliefs and trauma.
You are correct – that is exactly what happened …
Brilliant you have connected to that part and you can love and develop her back to health now – this is the beginning of profound healing for you!
Isn’t it incredible when we see what the Beliefs and trauma have been generating – fantastic identifying of how you have been “showing up”?
You are so right – when we have deeply embedded traumas with lots of energy in them EVEN knowing them does not reform them – the reform needs to happen at a deeper level – and it is SO wonderful that you are now doing this work!
That is so great that you granted your Inner Being a shift, and yes there is more to go – and truly you may want to consider NARP (the Narcissistic Abuse Recovery Program https://www.melanietoniaevans.com/narp ) because it excavates out the wounds and replaces them with True Self in multi-dimensional and powerful ways (much more powerful and complete than what we can achieve without that tool).
Regarding Core Belief Number 4 this is such an important one to work on. Because it is so usual that we get trapped in and hooked up in our defences (not being our True Self) whilst playing out a never ending battle with someone who is a False Self.
You are totally correct that IF you pull way, heal the anger in you and detach and don’t grant energy to the battle – then the pattern will heal within you.
Then people in your space will either raise to match it or the separation will occur that needs to.
And of he does NO have the ability to change – then he will stay as he is – but NO longer need to be co-generating your every day reality.
And then you get to live an authentic life of Truth – (not just for you BUT also as a template for your daughter.)
Sara thank you for reporting on these and working on them the way you have – truly you are SO ready to heal .. and please know I’d love you come into my next Webinar group https://www.melanietoniaevans.com/freewebinar and also please consider NARP.
The road ahead for you is NOT easy … however what else is there to do – IF you are gong to live a True Self Life? And the more help and support you have to achieve that the better – and that’s what all of my Program and Webinar Training is specifically designed for.
Women and people like you who need support at that Quantum Level …
Hugs ….
Mel xo
Hi Mel!
Thank you for your feedback.
Right now my narc partner has gone on a trip to see his family with our daughter for a few weeks. I miss her like hell, but this is the first time I have some real time for myself in years. He doesn’t work because he has money and doesn’t need to, so it is pretty much like living with a predator 24h a day. He has rarely given me space when I asked for it, so I want to make the most of the time I have now to heal.
It is very fortunate that you are doing this series about core beliefs right now!
I have been part of the last free webinar and have been working with the recording as well.
I am spending a lot a time in the forest with myself, opening up to my wounds as much as I can bear the intensity of the pain and hold it in a healing space. Like you say, I feel there is nothing better I can do with this precious time!
I really want to do the NARP, but I am in a very difficult situation and I can’t afford it, so I applied for sponsorship.
Thank you for all the work you and your team do. I was feeling so alone and lost and desperate. Now I feel part of a greater picture, with all these people who are evolving and healing together. It makes it easier to face all the pain and dificulties.
Hi Sara,
you’re very welcome.
That is great that you have some space and this series is wonderful timing!
I am so pleased you applied for NARP so that you can start excavating CHUNKS of trauma out – it is such a kinder way to heal ourselves rather then just “being” with the wounds (even though that is so much healthier than avoiding them!)
It’s great you are taking that stand for yourself to meet you Sara – that is huge!!
Our NARP Family and Community IS amazing Sara – we are all in this together … The togetherness, love and support is astounding.
I’m so pleased you are joining in, and I look forward to seeing you in the NARP Forum!
Mel xo
Dear Mel,
I firstly wanted to tell you how I discovered you and how you have touched the inner core of my being. You have truly moved me toward making positive changes in my life. When trying to find ways to heal, I came across your video ‘How Can We Help Our Children Who Have Been Affected by Narcissists?’ I felt like you were speaking directly to me regarding the relationship with my older son and I cried and cried and cried. Your video really struck a cord with me. You cemented the fact for me that I am not alone and that I too can be healed, enabling me to fully be there for the other special people in my life.
1) False beliefs:
If I make mistakes and mess up, I am letting people down and I am a failure.
Other people hold the answers to my questions and can solve my problems for me. I cannot think for myself.
I need to be perceived as being the best at what I do – I cannot expose the broken side of myself.
My actions of messing up are unforgiveable
There is no divine purpose behind my life
2) Ways I have confirmed these false beliefs and made them real:
When I make a mistake, I become a prisoner of my mind and mentally beat myself up over and over because of it.
I constantly find myself asking others for advice because I have no confidence in my own thoughts or opinions and I don’t think I have any answers.
I feel helplessness and feel alone.
3) My True Self is not the sum of my life experiences, traumas and mess-ups. I am a very bright and loving woman who successfully uses my professional judgements on a daily basis. I am fully capable of making my own decisions and, although a support system is important, I do not need to depend on others to run my life. I break free of being undermined my whole life and release the prison gates. I see a strong woman filled with love and who is worthy of being loved. My mistakes lead me to place where I learn more about myself, allowing me to gain a fuller understanding on who the real ‘me’ truly is.
Thank you from the bottom of my heart for all that you do!
Hi SLee,
I am so pleased you found that video (you were meant to) and that you felt that connection and hope.
That is so wonderful that you are working with this series now!
You have done really well to recognise these false beliefs and what they have been generating within you.
I am so pleased you had an inner shift … and thank you for reporting the answer to your 3 questions.
If I may – I feel that there is another level (not so much in this series) but in Inner Being (Child) work where you will start getting tender, and really loving with your inner self – (which comes and changes everything) …
Because even though a shift has been felt now … your Inner Being still believes she must “smarten up” and be “the smart adult” whereas in so many ways the young parts of us need to be loved back to health …. so that we CAN get there.
I would really love it SLee if you came into my next Webinar Group – because then that little “disconnect” (it is only a tweak) in how to self-partner can be really understood and adopted by you.
Some of the big ones for you are “the hard on self” stuff … (I relate that used to be me too!)
And the Webinar Workshops will help you unravel and heal that – and make it SAFE for you to LET love in – your own and others people without feeling like you have to be Wonderwoman on guard all the time (trust me I know what that used to feel like too!)
https://www.melanietoniaevans.com/freewebinar
I hope this helps!
Mel xo
My answers for three questions, part 3.
I’m excited to turn this in! It’s been a real adventure, hard, but always with a purpose — a beautiful one!
FALSE CORE BELEIF NUMBER 3:
1) I’m no one. My emotional need don’t count because I have nothing of worth to contribute. My place is in the background — not seen, not heard. I’m here to support those who are intelligent, better than me. I wait to be told what to do. My addiction seems to be negative thoughts about myself; thoughts that keep me down.
2) How I’m showing up: I don’t know how to speak up for my emotional needs without sounding like a child having a fit. Then, if nobody pays attention, I REALLY throw a fit. I cry, accuse, yell and I’m left feeling like I don’t even understand what it is I’m asking for. I do my day to day things quietly, in the background, never bring attention to myself. I have lots of good ideas for my husband, like how he can improve his website, how he should dress for success, I help him prepare his presentations. I’m on top of everything he does. It can be days before he asks me how my day went, ask what I did. I gave up asking him why he doesn’t ask me about my day. I must be dispensable. These beliefs give me low self esteem and so I clam up, which makes me feel ashamed, and so the cycle just goes on and on in my mind filled with negative thoughts. I learned these beliefs from parents. They were never emotionally available. My mother couldn’t even get herself to hug me. First time she ever did, I was 17! I ask myself if I have passed these false beliefs to my first born who is 30 years old — and will my younger daughter, who is turning 12, inherit them? I need to shift BIG TIME!
3) After my prayer: These are not my beliefs! I am not these ideas! I’m not allowed to keep them, they have served a purpose — to shift me at soul level — I can let them go!
And the more work I do, the more I see these false beliefs pop into my head. But I can say, “That’s a false belief you’re having” acknowledge it, let it go, watch it fly away and let it go, feel blessed for the lesson you have learned and grateful for the shift!”
FALSE CORE BELEIF NUMBER 4:
1) I can’t forgive myself for making love to the man who betrayed me and who was ready to abandon me and our daughter. I am disgusted by this. It makes me sick. My self esteem was in the mud, I clung to him, trying anything, including pleasing him physically while he was still thinking about his lover who had dumped him. How can I forgive myself for making love to him! I must be so gross!
2) How I’m showing up: Ugh! When he told me he was leaving, he also told me that our sex life was too routine. So what did I do after he didn’t leave me? I got him books on how to spice up our sex life. Did he read them? No. I asked him to get me a book too, one that deals with things he’d like to experience in bed. Did he do this? No. Even though I felt anger, I was still trying to fix things. Even though the idea of him with another woman made me sick, I was still having sex with him. This stopped only after I got the hematoma on my breast due to the biopsy — the pain kept me from even thinking about sex. There was now physical distance between us, and that helped me see that trying to please him sexually after his betrayal is just wrong I had really lost all dignity! Why? Because I didn’t want him to abandon me again? Did I think I could control him with sex? Was I trying to show him that I am good at something (sex). I failed to see that he didn’t deserve my physical pleasure or attention! He had betrayed me! Ugh! I’m ashamed of myself.
3) After my prayer: Allowed the false belief to fly away, out of my body — and it did like a swarm of black mosquitos. I had not honored my true self, but I am honorable! I filled myself with light. My body was overflowing with light, I was drenched in it. I am honorable! I have done many honorable things in my life! I forgive myself for acting desperate, for clinging to him. I forgive myself! I love myself. I self-partner! My self-partner says “You are sooooo forgiven and sooooo loved!” Amen!
The hematoma was a blessing in disguise. It gave me the physical distance I needed from my husband. It was also a wake up call. For months, I’ve been harming myself with negative thoughts. My body simply couldn’t take it any longer so I developed the lump, then the hematoma from the biopsy, which became infected. And guess what!? Two days ago the hematoma burst. I began to leak lots of blood and pus, this went on for quite some time (sorry, I know this is yucky) and yesterday I expelled a little more blood and pus. The emotional toxins are coming out!
FALSE CORE BELEIF NUMBER 5:
1) I can’t accept that my husband was going to abandon his own daughter! He was going to leave me, that’s one thing, but to abandon his own child who had only known a happy family life. I can’t accept that he’s sorry for what he did. He’s only here because his lover dumped him and he’ll probably do it again when he has the chance.
2) I show up by: Checking his e-mail, his phone, his calendar. I show up by focusing so much on my needy self that I probably don’t pay enough attention to my daughter. I wonder if I am addicted to self help? I made him marry me after he “came back to us”. I made it clear that our marriage is only a legal formality to protect my daughter and myself from his madness. I’ve searched for praise from past boyfriends to get my self esteem up. I pay more attention to how I look and I’m more flirtatious. I never plan to have sex with my husband again, but don’t tell him that (he thinks he’s giving me time/physical distance needed to get over the hurt he caused me). I tell him we can only be friends, and I do want to be his friend for the sake of our daughter, but I don’t say that I still hate him for what he did.
3) After the prayer: No one can abandon me except myself. I did it for years and he served as another example of what I needed to see. I filled the empty space with healing light. I don’t need to search for evidence of abandonment. I need to look the Universe’s evidence of love that surrounds me. I am never abandoned. I am whole. i am beautiful. I am the Creator. I am the Universe!
These false beliefs have been passed on from generation to generation. My grandmother wasn’t wanted by her mother, she was unloved, physically abused and the pattern followed in her marriage. My mother was physically abused by her father. She married a man who was never there for her emotionally, betrayed her many times, but never physically abused her. “At least he’s not a wife beater,” that’s what she always said. My father’s father died when he was five and his mother worked long hours to support her kids. At one point, when she was unable to support them, she had to leave her six children at the orphanage. My father had no model for how to parent. Neither of my parents ever felt deserving. I ran away form their beliefs/culture/religion when I was fifteen, and I have lived far away from the family since, but their traumas are lodged inside me like thorns.
I thought about my parents and grandparents during my prayers. I tried to release them from their false beliefs too. I tried to release my daughters and future grandchildren from the psychic viruses that I cleansed myself of today. I did a lot of work and at times was so exhausted! But I am optimistic. It’s all good! I have all that I need within me! I am all that I need to be. I am great!
Thank you Mel for shining your beautiful light. Thank you for all the work, for wanting us to heal, for wanting the world to be a better place! Thank you and your awesome team!
(And yes, I’m keeping my fingers crossed! 🙂
Hi Magda,
SO great you have now processed these too!
I have goosebumps as I am reading through Core Belief 3 and 4.
I LOVE how you have connected to the truth about the hematoma and how when our emotions aren’t getting our attention – then our physical body will seek to do so … (dis-ease).
Wow what timing regarding the hematoma!
It is so true – when the parcel of the message has been received – then the dis-ease no longer needs to be present.
WOW – with the shift for Number 5 you nailed it (as you did all of them) “No-one can abandon me but myself” … etc. etc.
Everything you wrote there is pure Universal Wisdom – brilliant!
I love that you recognised the generational pattern, and how by you working on you and shifting these beliefs the BUCK can STOP with you …
TRUE – at Quantum Level we CAN heal the generational line, past and future.
We are in fact shifting a part of the entire Human Collective, by shifting ourselves.
That is what changing ourselves and Humanity are all about …
You have become a force DOING That with your BEINGNESS Magda ..
Which is the only reform that would ever work.
Bless you and thank you for answering these three questions.
Mel xo
The more I write this out, the more surfaces and I find out about myself in these exercises. Thank you.
From the previous articles exercises:
Seperation Beliefs:
1. a) Fear of abandonment
b) Feeling left out
c) Unworthy
2. a) Mother repeatedly leaving and returning, threatening to leave as a young child. I felt very unsafe in intimate relationships like a bomb was going to drop on me anytime whenever I noticed detachment.
b.) I found myself not committing to social events, hence manifesting the left out feeling I started out with- self fulfilling.
c.) Good at working for other people, can’t seem to gain success on my own. I see others succeed
even with less experience. Safer to feel small, showing up as apathy.
I’m not enough to be loved as I am and I have to earn love belief:
Mother reminders since childhood that sons are preferable over daughters; non-acceptance, felt invisible. Comments like “this is where you would need a son would to do this”, “sons are better”.
The narcopath, elevating me in conversation during separation of no contact yet in reality I was never acknowledged. Just as in childhood I was largely ignored and never praised. Helping the narcissist without credit, bankrupting my soul. Not loving myself nor self-care during that process.
In both examples, I never felt loved or accepted, rather like an outcast or black sheep false beliefs were developed.
3.) Feeling release and comfort, lighter energetically, and tingling in feet. Sense of being more grounded and need to breath.
I re-did the prayer after “I’m not enough to be loved….” and new awareness developed, another connect to the replay of programs.
Thank you
———————————————————————————————————————–
Final exercises from this articles post:
1) What are some of the Faulty Beliefs your Inner Identify revealed to you in regard to False Core Belief Three, Four and Five?
#3: Behaviours are Created by Belief, and the Only Way to Change Behaviour is to Change the Core Belief
– I can’t move forward
– I can’t speak up clearly and concisely
– I will be attacked for speaking/standing up
– Holding people accountable
#4: “I Only Send You Angels”
– It’s harder for me, I have more challenges than anyone
– I get all the worst people to experience from; the best of the worst
– I have more to learn from in this life
#5: There is a Divine Purpose Behind Everything and Therefore a Divine Presence in Everything
– I attract weirdos
– I can’t trust anyone, people are phoney
– I am naive, being deceived
2) Can you see in what ways you have been showing up that have confirmed these False Beliefs and made them “real”? Describe these ways.
– It’s taking me a very long time, years to get ahead even with all the real healing that I have done. I see others progress and feel life is passing me by.
– I get sent the most challenging ‘devils in disguise’; narcissists supreme
– I can’t find the words to ask for what I need and am misunderstood, then feel frustrated/helpless like a victim
– Not getting my needs met or have a resolution when people aren’t accountable or emotionally responsible. Holding out for nothing, not moving forward.
– Jealousy and resentment directed at me for being myself or standing up and saying what I need
– The facade of people before they turn into my worst nightmare in personal relationships
– They’re will be seats or open spaces everywhere and some person comes sits or parks beside me
– Strange people coming up to me and making conversation with me
– People being friendly/social to my face and betraying me behind my back. They don’t say what they need to, to me, instead lie and exaggerate to someone else. I believed that we genuinely get along.
– People trying to help me to only betray or abandon me because they are jealous and want to use me.
3) How do you feel after the bringing in of your True Self to replace where the False Beliefs / traumas originally were (your ending prayer / NARP Module Shift)?
I feel more disentangled, energies holding me back released. Feeling into my body where there is release. To take command of my life, stand in my power by using/learning choice words/communication. Need to come back to center in focusing on myself without distractions and make needed shifts. I understand myself better with purpose.
Whew! Thank you Universe 🙂
Hi J,
that is great that the unravelling is all loosening up and surfacing for you, and please know your are very welcome!
Goodness re the separation beliefs it is totally understandable given your childhood!
That is great that you had a lovely shift and that innate wisdom surfaced (it SO does!).
(When we move the bad stuff out and call in the good – that is EXACTLY what happens!)
J, regarding “how I am showing up” – you haven’t got to the bottom of this yet – the focus is still outer (in some respects) .. and your power is NOT there and you can’t get DURABLY better and heal this stuff when it is focused on anything or anyone that is NOT you …
Sooo for these:
– I get sent the most challenging ‘devils in disguise’; narcissists supreme
– I can’t find the words to ask for what I need and am misunderstood, then feel frustrated/helpless like a victim
– Not getting my needs met or have a resolution when people aren’t accountable or emotionally responsible. Holding out for nothing, not moving forward.
– Jealousy and resentment directed at me for being myself or standing up and saying what I need
– The facade of people before they turn into my worst nightmare in personal relationships
– They’re will be seats or open spaces everywhere and some person comes sits or parks beside me
These are NOT about you … what you need to do is tap deeply into and be really honest with yourself regarding how you are showing up that is co-generating (allowing) this.
J – persecution used to be MASSIVE for me – as well as being vilified and betrayed – REGULARLY!
When I was ONLY focused outside of me, I was a victim …. but my self-honesty and development led me to realise ….these things about how I SHOWED up that was allowing / creating this ..
And I NEEDED to if I was going to change my heartbreaking and soul-destroying experiences.
(They were called “my” experiences for a very good reason – because only “I” could take responsibility for them!)
Things like …
1) Not listening to my gut
2) Not showing up and asking the qualifying questions or / and making deals that weren’t solid or real (trusting too easily even when my gut was screaming at me) – In other words I WAS terrified to confront honestly and directly when things did not feel right for me
3) Having such fears of “lack” of good people as well as “lack of being good to myself” that I would try to make things work with people WAY past the use-by date and get myself even more hurt in the process.
4) People were ONLY confirming over and over again what I believed – “People are bad” “People hurt people” and I was the generative source of these Beliefs.
You have realised in the shift .. this “Take command of my life, stand in my power.. by using learning words of communication” … and THAT is your key – by truly finding the reasons WHY (like my previous self) this has been difficult and you are not showing up in an authentic, clear way whereby NO-ONE can take you down … and you COULD walk away as soon as you needed to qualify – did that and GOT the wrong answer.
Meaning an answer that did NOT feel right in your body.
I’d really like you to tap into Question 2 again and really own what needs to be shifted there, this will help you soooo much.
Because then you WILL take your power back J.
Mel xo
Hi Mel,
What you listed as your experiences is soo my experiences as well. When I read them it makes me emotional. I see choice words written like, soul-destroying experiences, waiting way too long after the expiry date to end things, massive persecution…etc.
How I have been showing up confirming false beliefs #3, 4, 5 :
– My naivety and too trusting nature, believing people has caused me to be manipulated and controlled along with not setting or not knowing to set boundaries and guidelines early on. Being aware of when to say no and when to say yes, asking for what needs to be met. Not speaking up because I don’t want to cause waves and then when it is too painful for me to bear my situation, I force my words out because I lack the firm, clear communication skills and precise words that I need to convey my message in the moment. I am often distracted and freeze when I find a situation that feels wrong to me to act accordingly to skillfully communicate what I can’t process at the time.
– I have not felt comfortable in or with my body nor have I expressed myself or followed my interests in just being me, so when I do “think” I feel comfortable, I attract jealousy because at my core I still am not completely comfortable or have healed those beliefs or wounds within me. I shrink as to not cause attention to myself, so have not moved forward and often spend time alone and don’t network or talk to people.
– I have not been accountable in having my needs met nor have I allowed to be aware of my emotions when I sense discomfort in my body or not contemplated on how something doesn’t feel right. I act from my head instead of listening to how I feel in my body, regularly feeling a hollow in my solar plexus. Lack of self care, so the world shows me this in my mirrors from other people. I have not been true to myself.
Thank you so much for your in depth reply. It has been difficult for me to understand written instruction as my brain doesn’t work as it used to, probably in order to protect myself from overwhelm. Your response has given me much thought to ponder and unlock/shift my perceived reality. J 🙂
Hi J,
I thought you might relate – because I certainly related to you too!!
You’ve done so well with this now … really tapping in – great job J!
And how true it has been, or still is, for so many of us, that even when we felt something wrong we didn’t as yet have the knowing (or inner alignment) regarding “what” to do.
I can so relate to what you have written about in regard to “freezing”.
WOW J the more I read this from you – the more you are connecting within and really HITTING the nail on the head … yay! This is SO powerful!
Sooooooo powerful!
You are on the cusp of HUGE breakthroughs!
You are very welcome regarding my reply, and I am so pleased it helped and you really showed up to take this ON!
Fantastic work J 🙂
Mel xo
Hi Melanie
Thank you so much for helping me rephrase my comments on the Part Two section. It’s bringing my attention onto two things: how to express my journey with forgiveness, and secondly, forgiving myself and life.
You once said ,in a video I think, that a heart can’t hold resentment and love at the same time, it can only hold one of those…I loved that because I have had a glimpse of that understanding sometimes too.
Here are my results from using the Goal Setting Module for core Belief number 3 – do you need the results for 4 and 5 as well? I’m hoping to be in the draw as I have my sights set on your Family of Origin module.
The Behaviour (bad habit) I wished to change was “Procrastination”. I have seen what massive effect this habit has had on my life.
So I thought this would be really easy and quite a superficial one. NOT AT ALL!! I cried so much I thought I was doing one of the Pain Modules!
1) Faulty beliefs revealed: I am not important
Absolutely nobody cares whether I succeed or even what my ambitions
are
Disappointment is a given – so why set myself up
2) Ways I’ve been confirming this: Not finishing school!
Not studying further even though I was scholarship material
Procrastinate with deadlines and end up working all night
Hand in unfinished work
3) After shift: I feel that everything has been leading up to this point: that the loving, encouraging, gently disciplining, protective and caring parent which I felt I never had has been waiting for me to acknowledge his presence and let him guide me – he is male because he is the Father…
I feel excited about the next part of my journey and EXTREMELY grateful to you and NARP.
Thank you !
Dawn
Hi Dawn,
you are very welcome, I’m pleased it helped!
Yes, can you please add in your responses from number 5 as well?
That is necessary for the draw.
Isn’t it interesting Dawn when we dig into a behaviour and find out WHY we have been doing it!! So Fascinating!
Procrastination beliefs can be really painful and HUGE – because it so goes against the Law of Nature which is “expansion” … all procrastination comes from severe trauma / beliefs.
How gorgeous that you felt this shift!! And feel loved and supported now!
Mel xo
1)”If I go off on my own I wont be able to make it. 10/10
If I try to make money I will have to hurt myself to do it 7/10
If I leave, I will be drawn back in and will be stuck again 5/10
If I go off on my own I will be massively hurt and ruined” 7/10
2) I have been showing up by numbing out, doing shitty errands without question, hiding, living in anxiety, dealing in confusion and spending and addiction to self help
3) Memories of childhood when I was asked to compromise myself and do favors for my parents came up in my mind and I could see the association which was liberating. I got a sense of how different things could be in a positive feeling which I haven’t felt in a long time.
Hi Ta,
Thank you for sharing these and I am so pleased you have felt that positive feeling after your shift.
Does what you have posted cover off Belief 3, 4 and 5?
Just to clarify.
Mel xo
This series was remarkable.
1) What are some of the Faulty Beliefs your Inner Identify revealed to you in regard to False Core Belief Three, Four and Five?
#3: Behaviours are Created by Belief, and the Only Way to Change Behaviour is to Change the Core Belief.
The behaviours I most struggle with:
-smoking, drinking, prescription medications
-lack of motivation and/or direction, perseverance
-believing in my abilities
-caring for myself, emotionally, physically, and financially
#4: “I Only Send You Angels”
The times when I personally felt “I could not forgive someone or myself for something?”
-being abused by my step mother and partners
-my mother dying
-my husband and sister in law/best friend having an affair with my husband and destroying our families and my children
-lies, cheating, manipulation, crazy making abuse from the sociopath and narc
-myself for almost dying
#5: There is a Divine Purpose Behind Everything and Therefore a Divine Presence in Everything
I personally felt “I can’t accept that happened for a reason” when:
– my sister in law and husband having an affair
2) Can you see in what ways you have been showing up that have confirmed these False Beliefs and made them “real”? Describe these ways.
#3,4,5
-God only takes good people (like my mom) so I always want to be a little bit bad. This came from watching a Little Mermaid cartoon just after my mom died and the ending on this 1968 version was that the mermaid was taken to heaven because she was so good…I swore to my tiny self that day at only age 4.5, that I would never be too good so God wouldn’t want me! Felt Broken remembering that agreement and belief I had made with myself that day sitting all alone.
-punish myself by being unhealthy
-I freeze more now, where before I at least had a fight or flight response, this is newer over the last few years. Just feel exhausted
– I hide and become a hermit and lie to people that I am really busy so they don’t worry or know I am being pathetic
-I numb myself with addictions or sleeping
-I use my fears to assess a situation instead of trusting then determining the safe course of action to take to protect myself and inner child
-I get sick and then people will care for me (not on purpose, but I know it is all related to my inner wounds and trauma)
-I become righteous and indignant because I know what I could do or am capable of if I had more energy, motivation, desire…and feel ashamed because I am resigned at times
3) How do you feel after the bringing in of your True Self to replace where the False Beliefs / traumas originally were (your ending prayer / NARP Module Shift)?
#3,4,5
I feel more grounded. More energized and have clarity. It is like I was walking around stunned in a daze or dream and had little control of anything and was completely controlled by the NARC, but now even though I have to have contact (we work together) I am able to stand my ground in a very healthy way. A protective Mama bear way, like I would to protect my own children from danger and harm. I feel proud of my grown up me, and my inner child hugs me from inside out and I constantly tap into that feeling, emotion of infinite love within my being.
I have struggled with these exercises as I find it much easier to do any and all of this by audio as I can just tune into myself and listen to you guide me through it all so I can focus much better and deeper on my part. I am not a part of NARP yet as I lost everything with my ex. I soon will be loosing my home too so things are a bit stressful at the moment…but I would be in an institution by now, broken again and I found you just in time. You truly saved my life…as you have many others I am sure. I am hoping that the Universe is good and my name is drawn…I am believing it and seeing it.
I am forever grateful to my NARC for bringing me to you…for you sharing the light with me and so many others.
Warmest regards from Canada.
Hi Yvette,
I am so pleased you have found it to be remarkable.
In regard to question 1 for each section it is the Belief that you need to connect to – not the behaviour …
1) What are some of the Faulty Beliefs your Inner Identify revealed to you in regard to False Core Belief Three, Four and Five?
So for example – Smoking – (and maybe just report on one for this competition draw) for each 3, 4 and 5 ..
So when you dig into that (as per the instructions) WHAT are the beliefs that are the anxiety causing you to smoke?
(That’t the track you need to be on for question 1, the same as what you did on the previous article.
Same for Number 4 the times you could not forgive – choose the biggest and work with that one …
and number 5 …
Question Number 2 Yvette you have answered perfectly!!!
Number 3 was gorgeous too!!
So can you please just re-tune into Question 1 Yvette, and if its not clear please ask here for more clarification!
I am so pleased Yvette you found my work in time … that makes me sooo happy.
Even though you have lost so much, truly your True Life will begin – I just know that for you!
Much love back from Australia
Mel xo
These are condensed descriptions of moduling the three Core beliefs.
I did get lots of insights into how I shoot myself in the foot and why I do it.
This series has been very powerful but different from dealing with things as and when they occur through the modules
Core Belief 3
1 . Faulty beliefs:
I believe I am not entitled to be spontaneous
i cant express my creativity, joy or anger or any strong emotions.
I am not allowed ” draw attention” to myself as that is showing off.
2 . How I have been showing up:
i have been a wet blanket at social gatherings unless I have wine to release these beliefs temporarily and then I can be good fun and have a naughty funny side.
I show up as a solemn responsible person with an exaggerated sense of duty who nags other people to try and make them have the same attitude and level of responsibility.
I show up as passive under fire but then explode with anger when the red mist descends.
I show up as a bit strange as lots of aspects of my personality are going on under the surface like currents where they feel safe and secret and happy.
I actually quite like this.
Core Belief 4
1 . Faulty beliefs:
I cannot forgive bullying or other bullying authority figures as that will leave me open to more bullying.
Being invisible is the best defence against invasion of my inner self.
I need to protect my self or I will be hurt
2 How I have been showing up:
I show up as defensive , as I fear if I am vulnerable I will be punished and bullied and humiliated.
I also avoid attention for the same reason .
I only reveal my true self to people I instinctively feel are ok.
I try to be a good girl and stick to the rules.
I find it easier to speak up in defence of other people rather than myself.
Core belief 5 ( I found this one more vague than the other two so got less detail but it was deeper and more profound)
1. Faulty beliefs
I have been betrayed so I will always experience betrayal.
Many people are inherently deceitful and treacherous.
I don’t trust Life to be on my side.
2. How I have been showing up.
I avoid people
I stay on the periphery of life.
3) How do you feel after the bringing in of your True Self to replace where the False Beliefs / traumas originally were
Core belief 3
I felt more filled up and less hollow
Core belief 4
I was able to think about the people who bullied me without feeling anxious.
I feel I can draw on my own power through Source.
Core belief 5
Life and Source did not betray me.
I betrayed myself when I turned my face away from and rejected Source.
I feel the seeds of this went way way back in my timeline and have rippled through my lives.
This was the most significant realisation I have had to date.
I will need to do more work to clear it completely and feel what it is like to trust Source and myself
Thank you again Melanie for sharing your techniques and for responding to us
in a way that we know you get what we are saying as well as intuiting the underlying issues behind what we are voicing without judging and with kindness.
Not everyone has this gift
Xxx
Hi FLH,
Thank you for submitting you answers ..
And yes it is a very different approach than simply Modulling “what appears”.
It can be wonderful when we find some keys for super-boosts – and the truth is this actually did “appear” … there was NO coincidence that this information came to you at this time, for you to NARP on.
(Everything is connected in your experience to your Inner Being!)
These are fantastic connections that you have made with beliefs FLH and what this has been generating inside you.
And your level of humility and self-honesty is very powerful and healing for you.
Wow … there are so many wonderful breakthroughs that you will organically flow through into when this stuff is up-levelled. SO much more authentic connection and expansion!
Ohhhh I love the shifts you had when you up-levelled this stuff!
Wow, wow, wow re Shift for number 5 … HUGE ….
“Life and Source did not betray me. I betrayed myself when I turned my face away from and rejected Source. I feel the seeds of this went way way back in my timeline and have rippled through my lives. This was the most significant realisation I have had to date.”
It truly is massive – and shifting that IS going to change everything for you.
FLH you are so welcome, and please know it is my absolute joy.
How could it not be when I see incredible breakthroughs everyday – like the ones you are having right now?
Every time another souls starts to sing – mine sings with theirs.
Mel xo
Xxx
Hi Melanie
Thank you very much for all your healing work.
I was using the NARP goal setting module for Core Belief No. 4, I felt a big emotional charge and then a big shift.
1) What are some of the Faulty Beliefs your Inner Identify revealed to you in regard to False Core Belief Three, Four and Five?
Struggling with feelings of not being supported, resentment, anger, betrayal, injustice, inadequate.
2) Can you see in what ways you have been showing up that have confirmed these False Beliefs and made them “real”? Describe these ways.
Absorb other people’s drama and energy rather than observe it. Feeling guilty for having time out, I push myself even when exhausted and I don’t listen to my body telling me to slow down then left with feelings of resentment and anger. From childhood, parents were not emotionally available and I could not express emotion because it was always about them. Taking on the role of a young parent because I was burdened with so much responsibility. I was very supportive to them and my siblings, I was always there to rescue and fix problems daily then when I had an health issue few years ago I was discarded then was back in contact with them after two years. I felt the ultimate betrayal and had to rebuild my life emotionally and physically it has never being the same as trust has being broken and I found out recently they were lying about an issue which has still not being resolved. As a result I don’t have much contact with them because of trust and abandonment issues. I find it hard to accept that my childhood was burdened with so much responsibility and trauma from parents mental health issues. I’ve spent most of my life absorbing stuff and not observing to the point of being completely burned out emotionally and physically. I’ve managed fibromyalgia doing yoga, meditation, vitamin supplements and getting out for nature walks with my own family. The Self Realization is since doing this inner healing work it is a life journey healing the past to develop emotional freedom and acceptance.
3) How do you feel after the bringing in of your True Self to replace where the False Beliefs / traumas originally were (your ending prayer / NARP Module Shift)?
My inner being was being comforted, a feeling of enlightenment towards forgiveness of others and myself, self acceptance, letting go of the past to move forward into the future, feeling solid, secure and inner peace. Things do happen for a reason in your life for your inner self to grow and expand and to accept change.
Best wishes and lots of love
from
Healing Path xxxx
Hi Healing Path,
you are very welcome 🙂
You have done a wonderful job again of identifying beliefs and seeing how they have been generating from within you … however …
I want you to go back through number 2 again (How I show up) again if you can …
The reason being … when we tap into how “we show up” it is so important to keep the focus on us – and not others … because that dilutes our power and our shift … which is always between us and our Inner Being …
Therefore,
All of this …
“Absorb other people’s drama and energy rather than observe it. Feeling guilty for having time out, I push myself even when exhausted and I don’t listen to my body telling me to slow down then left with feelings of resentment and anger.” is great!
This part is still okay …. (just) “From childhood, parents were not emotionally available and I could not express emotion because it was always about them. Taking on the role of a young parent because I was burdened with so much responsibility. I was very supportive to them and my siblings, I was always there to rescue and fix problems daily ..”.
And then …
… “then when I had an health issue few years ago I was discarded then was back in contact with them after two years. I felt the ultimate betrayal and had to rebuild my life emotionally and physically it has never being the same as trust has being broken and I found out recently they were lying about an issue which has still not being resolved. As a result I don’t have much contact with them because of trust and abandonment issues.”
Okay this stuff lovely lady, is handing your power over … and this is where it can be easy and normal for us to be “victimised” and this makes it very difficult for us to shift and generate something different.
This is really the “incidents” this is not you tapping deeply into “how I am showing up”.
Can you rework Section 2 for me? (And of course you – because truly you will have some massive breakthroughs by doing so.)
You may wish to check out other people’s responses re Number 2 (above) to get some help with examples.
It is lovely that you had a shift in Section 3, and please know that if you can process Section 2 with these tweaks, the shift will have an even more powerful anchoring in your body.
Lots of love and best wishes to you too Healing Path – you are SO on your way!!
Mel xo
1) What are some of the Faulty Beliefs your Inner Identify revealed to you in regard to False Core Belief Three, Four and Five?
I will always be a love addict. I will always be addicted to stress and anxiety. I will never be financially stable. I will always struggle. I will always be poor. I will never get a good job. I will never be free. Life is a burden. I will never forgive my parents. I will never forgive myself. I will never accept losing my job. I cannot handle the difficulties of life. No one cares about me. I always end up getting hurt. Loneliness is my protection.
2) Can you see in what ways you have been showing up that have confirmed these False Beliefs and made them “real”? Describe these ways.
Being unable to get a job interview after over three years of applying. Not being able to sleep more than four hours a night. Living with constant daily back pain after attracting a horrible car accident that cost me my job. Working a menial job to pay the bills and survive. Living in an uncomfortable situation with seven strange roommates. Always stressing out about finances. Feeling constantly jealousy of the people around me. Living in a fantasy world in my mind as a form of escapism. Not having any romantic relationships for several years. Living in isolation and ashamed of my circumstances.
3) How do you feel after the bringing in of your True Self to replace where the False Beliefs / traumas originally were (your ending prayer / NARP Module Shift)?
I told my inner child that we are taken care of, that we will always have what we need, and that abundance awaits us. The universe will provide for us what no man can provide. We were surrounded by nature and I told her that we have already been rescued by light. We have been forgiven because there’s nothing to forgive, all the suffering we have been through was meant to lead us back to ourselves. That we will find inner peace now even amidst our outer circumstances. I felt relief right after the prayer and visualization.
Hi Sophie,
My heart goes out to you – because you have done such an incredible job here of showing up for your Inner Being and your Life, and you should be SO proud of yourself.
You did a fantastic job with this, and I LOVE that you felt this shift.
Sophie it is YOUR time to heal and turn this around – I so feel that!
Mel xo
Hi Melanie
So, I’ve already posted for belief Number 3.
For Core belief number Four “I only send you Angels”
1) False beliefs:
I was wronged by this person
I was shamed by this person
I was conned, trapped, and taken advantage of
2) How I’ve been showing up as a result of these false beliefs:
I have been dumbing myself down
I’ve been afraid of expressing enthusiasm
I don’t share hopes/dreams with anyone
Hide/retreat from the world
3) The shift felt similar to module 3 in NARP about forgiving the other (because there actually is no other??) and myself.
The whole idea of SOMEONE ELSE putting me through all the torture is starting to really feel lacking in substance. I’m still not sure if I can say “I did it all” but I feel like the resentment is starting to dissipate…if I can keep this perspective
Core belief number Five :
The Divine Purpose – being able to accept this happened for a reason
1) Faulty beliefs: I am imperfect
My shameful self will be revealed
2) Ways that I’ve been confirming these beliefs:
Avoid social situations
Don’t keep in touch with people
Fear new environments
Attracting people who reject me
3) After the shift: I feel light-hearted, unburdened, relieved.. I actually want to laugh. There’s a a great sense of lightness and humour. I feel like i’m on holiday with a good friend, where Time suddenly doesn’t exist … could that be???
I absolutely agree with Bondon that living out our gratitude for your help with all this is done by actually doing the work.
This series of blog posts was so great in it’s practicality. Spirituality seems to be the one big area where walking the talk is huge. You just HAVE to, or nothing changes. We love to theorise. But I want to wake up NOW and be different (or who I really am.) Because, as you say so often – there’s nothing else to do!!
Thank you I did listen to Neale’s podcast today and loved it totally. The beauty of those ancient words from the Bible…
Thanks again… Dawn
Hi Dawn,
Thank you for posting on Number 4 and 5.
That is so wonderful that you have made these deep connections now …
Brilliant that the beliefs of “being wronged” are being dismantled, because truly when they start to lose that substance… the experience of being “wronged” no longer shows up in our life – and we certainly stop showing up in ways that unconsciously invited / allowed / co-generate it!
Struggle and pain with ourselves and others is NOT our natural organic state!
That is lovely the shift that you experienced for Core Belief Number 5 … you have had a glimpse of True Self – that is timeless and weightless and has the knowing “everything is in perfect harmony”.
That state just gets more and more and more with this work … the fleeting moments turn into regular and longer lasting ones, and then as the “default constant”.
Totally … what you and Bondon agree on – so do I – that is what I want with all of my heart … accolades are superfluous compared with this work being actualised in the world.
I love that you understand this is about waking up and SHEDDING who we are not to claim Who We Really Are.
And, I adore that you loved Neale’s podcast …
I am catching the recording as I had meetings with tradespeople this morning.
Can’t wait!!!
Mel xo
Hi Melanie
Thank you for addressing section 2.
2) Can you see in what ways you have been showing up that have confirmed these False Beliefs and made them “real”? Describe these ways.
Analyse other people’s lives
Worry what other people think
Rescue and fix others
Put everyone else’s needs first
Feel guilty about saying the wrong thing
Avoidance of others because of self doubt
Expect to much of myself
Overwhelmed and chronic fatigue
Using the goal setting module by releasing the blocked emotion, my breakthrough feeling of forgiveness and having compassion for myself and others.
Best wishes and lots of love
from
Healing Path xxxx
Hi Healing Path,
you are so welcome!
You have done fantastically here now with Question 2! Brilliant self-awareness.
How lovely that you have had a shift and that forgiveness has had the space to wash through you now!
Beautiful 🙂
Mel xo
My other main belief is ‘I am not worthy of unconditional love’ I will search for what I did ‘wrong’ when someone does something hurtful/ deceptive in order to deserve it. Clearly, if you are looking, you will find something 🙂 After doing the process and prayers, the feelings of peace were clear.
I do believe that angels are sent… And that ‘finding joy in my trials’ and searching more for the lessons each circumstance/ meeting has for me, has changed my feelings and reactions to events. There is a divine purpose behind everything and that has been clear in my life story to date.
Hi Tracy,
Thank you for your share, and I am so pleased you felt a shift after the prayer!
Mel xo
Belief 3
1.) My faulty beliefs in regards to belief 3 where about me never being skilled enough, not having enough knowledge, not having the guts to do something anyway, not being good enough to take the steps I knew I actually needed to take to change the things and the behaviours that weren’t working in my life.
2.) Through the exercises I discovered how these beliefs manifested in my life. A big problem for me, that I always struggled with, was procrastination. I knew what I had to change, but with my limiting beliefs I self-sabotaged myself before I even started. In my mind I would play out all the things that could possibly go wrong if I would take any kind of action towards the things I actually wanted. And so I delayed action and promised myself that I would deal with this later, or maybe some other time, or – and I think many people can relate to this – start on Monday. Of course this would never happen and I felt like a failure, which then led to me not even trying in the first place, because I knew couldn’t do it anyway.
Belief 4
1.) Belief Number 4 is really big for me. The faulty beliefs in regards to this one are beliefs about excusing the behaviour of the abusive people in my life by forgiving them and by that handling over power. I always thought how horrible of a person one had to be to hurt an innocent child ether emotionally, verbally or physically. I thought these people would logically understand that what they did was wrong, that I could make them apologise or see the damage they caused by confronting them and talking to them about the past.
2.) These beliefs where confirmed by reality when I tried to be the “good” person. I tried to always do what’s wright and even made others feel less than when they didn’t uphold to my moral standards, I always did more for other people than they did for me, I basically was a “pushover” and attracted people who reflected this back to me. In this process I would get hurt, wonder how people could be so “bad” when I was being a “good” person, I confronted them on how they were behaving poorly, but they just wouldn’t understand my point – and the resentment kept on building up. I couldn’t forgive anyone – not the people from my childhood, nor the people I met later in life. I understand now that by forgiving people one doesn’t excuse their behaviour, it just means seeing people for who they really are: an unconscious and wounded child. It also doesn’t excuse the trauma that is inflicted upon us as children, but now I believe that my soul did choose the circumstances I was born into in order for me experience the most spiritual growth possible.
Belief 5
1.) The faulty beliefs in regards to belief 5 are strongly tied to my childhood. I always thought that I must have done something to deserve this or there is something wrong with my family, that bad things happens to good people and bad people get away with everything, that the world was a dangerous place to be in, that I am the victim of my past which would determine my future and that I couldn’t do anything about that.
2.) I can see now how these beliefs created the painful reality I was experiencing. They kept me stuck in a victim mentality so I could in fact do nothing about my current state. Seeing the world as an unsafe place made me build up walls to protect me from getting hurt, which then made me feel very lonely and actually didn’t work, because I attracted people who reflected these wounds back to me. Thinking that life was very unjust I was a very self-righteous person, trying to logically explain to people how they were wrong or being immoral. I attracted situations into my life which seemed very unjust, but in retrospect I know that life itself happened for me so I could finally wake up from unconsciousness and heal my wounds.
3.) As a former believer of thinking your way out of trauma rather than feeling and then shifting the pain, I dealt with a lot of anxiety and never seemed to quiet my mind. After completing this series and replacing the false beliefs with the prayer I definitely can feel the change in my body. The screaming in my head has become a bit quieter and I am not as anxious as I used to be. Still, I have a long way to go and just started on my healing journey. Also when it comes to forgiveness, as I discovered during the exercises, I have a lot of healing to do. For me, this is where patience and compassion for yourself comes in; you can’t forgive anyone or yourself overnight. I think this is a common misconception in the spiritual/ self-help world, where you can feel like there’s something wrong with you or you didn’t put in enough spiritual work because you can’t forgive a certain person right away. Anyways, I am really excited about the shifts I made thanks to this awesome series and I am really motivated to keep on healing!
Thanks again Mel, you’re work is life changing for me!
Hi Victoria,
It’s an absolute joy to read you work!
The awareness and truths that are emanating up from within you, ARE life-changing – and they are happening very powerfully as a result of you doing the work in your body.
I am so happy for you Victoria that you are unravelling and healing this stuff – because your true life and Self will come through and start to be free and flourish!
It is exciting!!
You are very welcome Victoria, it is my absolute pleasure – and keep up the great work!
Mel xo
1) Here are some of the Faulty Beliefs that my Inner Identity revealed to me in regard to False Core Beliefs from One to Five.
One: I often feel separated from others and from life. Being vegan, I really am often isolated by friends not inviting me at dinner or at parties. I have been isolated by my narcissistic parents. I suffered from separation from friends, beloved family members and also dear things and toys.
Two: Feeling to be not enough to be loved but also to be rewarded, feeling often in punishment or in a corner. No moment is the right time for my needs and for my feelings. Needs and feelings of other people are more important than mine.
Three: People do not value, also economically, what I do. What I do is not important. Other people do the same things better than me. People take advantage of me and of my skills. People abandon me if I do not do what they want and chose others.
Four: I think that I am in a nightmare, or better that I was born in a nightmare. I can not find a way to exit from this continuous trouble. I solved most of my wounds, but there is still something stuck and still and hidden. I am missing the last and important piece to complete my puzzle.
Five: I have few issues with this point at this moment of my life. I am aware that everything happening to me brings me a message and that I just have to listen to it.
2) These are the ways in which I have been showing up confirming the False Beliefs and making them real.
One: I read these e-mails and done the exercises with a huge delay, because my dog died at the end of June and I wanted to be isolated without seeing or talking to anybody for days. Instead of looking for the support of the friends, I separated myself from them, just continuing the way I was programmed.
Two: Being in a corner during a guided tour because I though it was just for the group of people before me, while it was for free and for everyone. The guide called me and welcomed me. She invited me to join the group, because I looked as a child in punishment.
Three: Working for free or accepting less money than agreed without speaking up. Working with people that I did not like. Not giving the right importance to my work and to the results obtained. Not showing enough the value of what I do. Refusing the invitation of a boy, when a teenager, because thinking of not being enough for him, who had very beautiful girlfriends, cars, house, and so on, and never telling him the real reason.
Four. Complaining with myself, while looking for a way to understand what has happened to me. Looking for outside solutions instead than for inside solutions.
Five: No issues, I just try to understand and to listen to the messages around me.
3) After the bringing in of my True Self to replace where the False Beliefs/traumas originally were, I feel smiling, relaxed, serene, joyful, lighter and stronger. Much better and much more aware of my limits, of my “super powers” and of my opportunities. Thank you so much, Melanie, for this enlightening moment!
Hi Paola,
Thank you for your share and for doing the exercises, and it is wonderful that you have tapped into these 4 areas that did relate to you, and have experienced the up-levelling of shifting them.
I LOVE that it has opened up power and opportunity for you!
You are so welcome Paola, I am so pleased I could help!
Bless 🙂
Mel xo
#1 Faulty Beliefs my Inner Identity revealed to me in regard to Core belief Three
Core Belief Three: Behaviors are created by beliefs-change belief to change the behaviors:
-this is true for others but not for me, I do not matter
-I deserve to be punished and blamed, that is my job in order to be valid
-negative attention is better than no attention at all
-helpless to change because I “don’t know my own mind” and I “will never be happy with anything”
-not trusting and believing in myself because I was trained to doubt myself
-believing that I deserve to be treated poorly
-I don’t deserve to be supported by others
-I need permission to change my beliefs because that will make other people unhappy
Core Belief Four: I only send you angels:
-still living in “why me”
-resisting what has happened to me, denial
-trying to “smoke screen” my past rather than embracing it
-self blame for what has “happened TO me”, why was I so stupid?
-not always trusting the process and trying to force changes
-believing that my mother was just evil instead of knowing that she was a damaged individual who needed to use me to survive
Core Belief #5: There is a Divine Purpose Behind Everything and therefore a Divine Presence in everything
-Mistrust on a daily basis
-my inner child believing the lies and succumbing to live in after shock
-resisting rather than embracing my journey
-forgetting that I am being called for this work for a reason
-dismissing what has happened to me and my “teachings” as me “getting carried away with myself”
–not embracing “suffering” as a teacher
#2 Ways I have been showing up that have confirmed these false beliefs:
Core Belief 3:
-I use alcohol to numb me and my beliefs
-continuing to carry the burden of “failure” to please my mother and husband enough to make them love me in the extra pounds on my body
-I overeat to validate that I am deserving of food and belonging
-over giving to be validated
-avoiding self care because I don’t matter
-downplaying my strengths and talents so as not to call attention to my self, or be “too good”, “who do you think you are!”
-not being my self because I am not likeable
Core Belief 4:
-continuing to try to “fix myself” with therapy, hypnosis and self help programs
-continuous self criticism, self flogging; I deserved it anyway, never be good enough so why try
-not allowing myself to lean in to the process for healing, sitting in resistance, “this can’t be happening to me”
-not embracing the awakening
-not trusting my Angels and Guides
Core Belief 5:
-difficulty accepting that my abusive mother, father, 2 sisters, husband, mother and father in law, neighbors and co-workers are really teachers (maybe I am a slow learner!)
-afraid to accept that I can change the effects of lifetimes of abuse and torture for myself, and change the ancestral female traits of being oppressed as a vocation
-not embracing my soul’s journey as a very positive thing and not reveling in the fact that I am chosen for this difficult work
#3 Feelings after bringing in True Self to replace False Beliefs/traumas:
I truly believe that life is happening FOR me! I am worth unconditional love simply because I AM!! I accept my role as an anchor for my insecure and wounded mother and husband to use me to make themselves feel better about their loathe some selves. That they projected all their insecurities on me. I choose to remember that I was a happy, loving, joyful, exuberant and excited child that had to be controlled by her. I reflected to “Mommy Dearest” that part of her that she believed to be wrong. I accept that my severely wounded husband saw my special traits and loving nature and wanted to engulf and devour me to make them his own by destroying me. It was not about me, I was just the conduit for them to feel whole and alive. It was truly all about them. No one deserves to be treated poorly or used the way I have been by others. It was not my fault, it was my training and I completed my role in stellar fashion! I am still a happy, loving joyful person to be celebrated and not extinguished. I believe that the height of my joy will be inversely proportional to the depth of my desperation. I am exhausted but excited to continue this work and look forward to the future and coming home to myself.
Thank You, Thank You, Thank You!!!
Hi Jan D,
Thank you for your answers, and you have done a wonderful job in regard to tapping into so much inner detail about what has been going on and playing out for you.
This is generating powerful breakthrough for you!
I ADORE that you have had such a powerful shift that you can feel as REAL in your body ..
That is what it is all about!
How wonderful that you are excited Jan about carrying on this work now!
Mel xo
Dear Mel,
Wow, it’s been quite a week between the core work here, the weekly emails I’ve been receiving and Neale’s radio show…plus my usual meditation. It’s been a cocktail of wellbeing and I feel that it’s been so good for me. I’ve found it a little tricky to find the time so have been trying to not be too strict with myself, and have been completing the work in these articles belief by belief, over a few days.
It’s been really interesting for me and, again, really emotional. At times I felt like I was just going through the motions, and simply trying my best to visualise and keep focussed…but yesterday I feel like the evidence really showed up for me that I have made some breakthroughs. Talking with my brother has always been tricky (as we have a narcissistic father who pits us against each other) and when I told him my degree result, out of sheer joy, he became very bitter and angry. It was understandably upsetting to receive his response but I feel so much better about the way that I handled it. Normally I would dwell on what he said for days, weeks even, but I feel I have already let it go as I realise I am not responsible for how he feels. Although he has tried to sabotage my happiness and my special day of celebration that I worked so hard for, this time I haven’t let him and I am very focussed on my wellbeing and self-partnering…which is oh so new to me…hooray! (I just can’t thank you enough 🙂 ).
1) Some of my Faulty Beliefs include: I have so much to do before I can relax or live life; I can’t move forward until things are perfect; time is running out; I have wasted my life; everything has to be perfect; life is too hard; I’m not good enough; I will never get a break or be happy; people will reject me if they see how my life really is; I am better off alone; I can’t even trust my closest family members; I don’t matter like other people do; people are always going to hurt me; people don’t care about my feelings; I don’t deserve to be treated with respect; I can’t rely on anyone; I am so misunderstood; they need to be held accountable; I can’t deal with everything; people are better off without me; I can’t do anything to help my mum through her chemo…I am useless; I am unable to face the day; no one is there to help me carry this weight; I haven’t done enough.
Sheesh. It’s really no wonder I have been so blue if this is what’s at the core of my thinking.
2) I have definitely been cementing these False Beliefs into my reality by doing a number of things including: pushing people away, avoiding family and friends; not asking for help; acting obsessively about making everything ‘perfect’ (as sometimes that feels like the only thing I can control); obsessing about ‘what I have to do’; playing ‘small’ so people don’t notice me; avoiding conversation; demanding that no one ask any personal questions; lying about how I really feel; unnecessarily over explaining myself; expecting trouble every time I talk with certain people; lashing out in anger at people close to me; being wary of who to trust; feeling awfully guilty about this, that and the other; drinking glasses of wine here and there to ‘get away’.
3) After bringing in my True Self to replace where the False Beliefs originally were I feel lighter – like the heavy backpack I’ve been forcing myself to carry around everywhere with me, has had a lot unpacked from it. I have been skeptical about the process at times but it’s just so interesting as time really does tell in the form of evidence: for example, some incidents that would normally trigger me hugely have become less overwhelming and more manageable with a faster recovery time to happier thoughts. I have more faith in myself and in others, and I feel like I’m literally looking on the bright side a bit more.
I realise I have a lot of issues and will continue to work on them…but this was the start that I needed to really face up to my Inner Self and accept her for who she is. I hope that everyone else has had some positive experiences throughout this weeks process.
Thank you so so much Mel, you’ve really helped me to become less frantic and just breathe deep, and look inside.
Much love to you all, Bluebel x
Hi Bluebel,
How fantastic that you have been SO dedicated to your wellbeing this week!
It often is when we have real life incidents that we realise “Wow … I was SO different then than I normally would be!” and we realise something inside us HAS profoundly changed!
How gorgeous that you are self-partnered NOW regardless of how your brother shows up! (and in other incidences!) That IS power-full!
Bluebel, when we DO find out what our faulty painful beliefs have been it really makes the penny drop .. and we realise “Is it ANY wonder thing shave been the way they are?”
It’s fantastic that you are now onto this stuff, and making change at a Quantum Level on the inside.
You are very welcome Bluebel, and I am very happy that you took this workshopping on this week.
Bless 🙂
Mel xo
Thank you Melanie for doing such powerful work.
(answers from beliefs 1 and 2)
The following are some of the faulty beliefs that were revealed to me..
I have always felt unloved, unwanted, unworthy. I was adopted at a very young age, but my parents hid this from me. My mother literally hated me. She started telling at the age of 6, ‘I wish we never got you’ and would love at me like she was the devil. She tried to kill me when I was between 7-8 for playing in the tub and splashing water on the bathroom tile, she took a knife to my throat on multiple occasions. Since then, I have always searched for some type of security and I only felt safe within myself. I did not form close relationships with anyone, was the classic loner throughout grade school and high school. I remember my teachers always asking me what was wrong, but I think I was just in so much pain I didn’t know how to deal. Instead of turning to drugs or alcohol, I over exercised.
Diving further into this negative belief, I have always tried to prove my worth in every relationship, from after the initial first date, my partner would never have to lift a finger because I wanted to do everything (cook, clean which I hate, laundry) because I need to prove that I had a purpose. My last relationship was with someone who had strong narc qualities and as Melanie always says life turned up the volume and that relationship rocked my world soo badly, I was on my knees crying out for help. I tried to do everything in that relationship and in the beginning it was amazing because I was being love bombed, something I had never experienced and did not know how to handle any of it, because I thought for once, someone..anyone loved me for me and I could not have been more wrong. that relationship brought me here..too my healing journey.
2)I have been showing up as a fearful, low self esteem, no boundary having, accepting whatever (lies, cheating, verbal abuse) scared little girl, looking outside of herself for her savior.
3) After bringing in my true self, I feel more aware of my underlying issues. I hold myself accountable for my poor choices and not following my intuition. I do realize these are things I need to continue to work on, I was notoriously self avoiding before I found this blog..I was continuing to over exercise, over work and over talk about this issue to anyone who would listen but not once did I take the time to self partner and look to soothe my soul within myself. I was still searching everywhere outside of myself…self help books, reading other peoples stories…not once did I get in touch with my inner child to see what she needed to be healed and made whole.
Thank you Melanie!!!!!!!!!!!!!
(answers from core beliefs 3,4, 5)
core belief 3 – i have had the addiction of over exercising, over dieting and over working since I was probably 16. I lacked complete sense of security of a child/teenager and the only thing I found control in was how I looked and what I ate all of which prompted my now career as a physical therapist. I just now realized my unconscious lead me to my college degree which is exercise science and now I am a physical therapist so I could learn as much as I could about the body. I am still struggling with the addiction of over working as a form a self avoidance and also trying to prove to myself that I am good at managing money and or being able to provide for myself and keep myself safe…based on doing this workshop I still have been looking outside of myself instead of being still, doing the work and healing my wounds.
core belief 4 – angels – I had always blamed myself for loving the ex N. I failed to recognize the red flags, thought everything I had received from her was genuine when in fact, it was THE ABSOLUTE biggest life lesson and wake up call I could get….wake up…see your wounds and look within to fix them. I sooooo love the A.I.D.s acronym it is spot on. If it hadn’t been for my previous marriage/divorce, I would have continued to settle for the crumbs I was begging for.
core belief 5 – i believe this belief goes hand in hand with belief 4. holding myself accountable and taking ownership for my inner beliefs (I almost said behavior, now I realize the behaviors are simply reflections of our beliefs)
2)I have shown up as a helpless, low self esteem, unworthy, willing to accept being someones option, willing to self avoid so I did not have to face reality and the truth and someone who clearly did not know themselves or love themselves…oh and let me not forget completely powerless and lacking a thought/opinion because I thought was I had to say didn’t matter and was worthless. I had no identity, the relationship always defined who I was. I never put what I wanted or how I felt on the table, because I thought it didn’t matter because in my soul, I did not matter and I never did. I didn’t matter to my biological parents, I didn’t matter to my adopted parents and I didn’t matter to any of my sign. others. I felt like I had a role to play, house cleaner, cooker, sex partner but never an equal partner in any relationship and I felt dating the same type of person with different names until the abuse got to a point where I fell on my face and had to find who I was.
3)I feel like I have soo much work to do. I have been a NARP member for a few months, but have only briefly started module one..my resistance has been strong and I could not put my finger on it..I would ask myself..do you like feeling this way?do you enjoy the pain, do you not want to break free, find yourself, increase your confidence, go after the career you want? Common sense would say yes but common sense doesn’t poop because I had never.NOT ONCE…asked myself how I felt..let allow be able to explain or express my feeling..because of NARP I now ask myself how do I feel..where do I feel it and I am patient with myself…however I am still working on my forgiveness. I have allowed me to stop me for 40 years and because of this workshop I was able to feel my way through my resistance.
Thank you Melanie….I am in the states and have often thought about emailing you to meet you in person to say thank you..I thank the heavens for your work because for the longest time, I thought my life would suck because I just couldn’t ‘get over it’ or ‘move on’ and now I realize it is all about healing myself.
I do pray the MTE team starts in person workshopping…(hint hint…wink..wink)
Nikki
Hi Nikki,
you are very welcome 🙂
We had already worked on Beliefs 1 and 2 (I did get those), so we will go onto the latter three.
This is powerful realisations regarding Core Belief Number 3 … so powerful!
As well as for 4 and 5. Well done!!
You have made great connections here Nikki with “how you have been showing up” … spot on!
Wow, wow, wow!!
You are right ON it!!
Hmmm, yes there can be resistance to getting going on Module work and the truth is (as you know and are experiencing) the wounds stay wedged inside us until we up-level them.
They HAVE to be de-toxed for us to get better.
That will be your key work … and like all of us, when you have had enough of the pain you will do it Nikki!
And truly we can “forgive” when we release the trauma inside us that is not allowing us to … if the trauma is significant (and in your case it certainly is).
With Module Work that could be addressed in hours, not weeks, months or even decades.
Nikki thank you for your incredible share and honesty, and you are very welcome.
Have you come into one of the Webinar Groups yet? https://www.melanietoniaevans.com/freewebinar … because we do very powerful workshopping in there …
Mel xo
Hey everyone …
**** PLEASE NOTE *****
The competition is now closed off!
Thank you so much everyone for participating – and we will draw and announce the winners soon!
Mel xo
Melanie,
I posted my comments on July 9th before midnight. I don’t understand why it didn’t show up until the 10th. I hope I can still be part of the drawing as I stayed up late to complete it in time.
Thank you,
Marie
Oh, I just realized you are on Australian time — I was thinking it was just East coast time in the United States. Disappointed but now I understand. Thank you for the process.
Hi Marie,
yes time zones can be tricky – I am sorry – but I am certainly very happy to respond to you and work with what you have posted!
Mel xo
Melanie, Thank you again for this process for core beliefs 3, 4, 5. Here are my answers to your questions:
1. I am a victim. I lost myself. I must hold on to anger/resentment to protect myself. I’m not good enough so must work very hard to make others love and accept me. I will be abandoned and shamed.
2. I don’t listen to my own truth and care for myself. I nurse resentments and identify as a victim. I isolate myself from others. I abandon myself.
3. I feel relief and a deep letting go — even a sense of hope that things could be different going forward — that maybe my thinking isn’t the truth. I feel much gratitude.
Hi Marie,
You have done so well here – it is a HUGE shift to having felt like a victim and decide to be open to shift into a different orientation.
I am so thrilled for you that this is the path you are on now, and how wonderful you have felt a distinct shift and opening up to love and truth in your body.
Well done – that takes great courage!
Mel xo
Hi Melanie! In case you do get this – I think I should stay out of the draw and give the others a chance! I have the NARP course and the Goal setting module which is perfect!!
Thanks hope you get this!
Dawn
Hi Dawn,
I have got your message and will honour your very generous offer to others.
Mel xo
Hi Bondon,
Wow …. you have got to the bottom of some really BIG stuff here!
How fascinating how this has played out in your Life with you taking the responsibility for others behaviour.
I know that many people would relate to that urge to “fix”people and make it better whilst being abused. It is one of the weirdest and deadliest patterns that many people have taken on – for the belief systems reasons (and others) that you have described.
So true Bondon when you said … “I never even knew that wasn’t “normal.””
We DON’T when it is how we have always been “surviving” within our painful Beliefs.
Powerful understandings about the “not being able to receive” and how that is tied in with your FOO.
For number 5 in regard to the “burdensome” beliefs … this is what you have been receiving … and do you think it is the “expectation of being a burden” … that has brought this? (Naturally beliefs do …) Is there other ways of “showing up”…. if you feel in deeply inwards … that could be related to how you have been co-generative within this topic?
How lovely Bondon, that you have had such a powerful shift and awareness regarding your claiming of power and deservedness …
And SO importantly that these things are just “energy” – they are just beliefs absorbed from your FOO that you CAN remove from your Being!
It’s gorgeous that you are feeling your Eternal Worth …. and that you “matter”.
I am so happy of you Bondon – and thank you for spreading your lovely healing blessings to everyone – that is very sweet of you!
Mel xo
Hi Bondon,
it’s my pleasure!
Thank you for your gorgeous comments … and I love being with all of us as you say “in the trenches” … what a great place to let the light in to!!
How gorgeous that Clarie helped you – God bless her – and that now you are seeing where this “expectation” and “manifestation” was coming from.
And you also now know how to up-level it.
Can you imagine the 180 degree turn in your life when you get that done … when you are expecting inclusion and blessings, and every cell in your body knows that this is your innate truth and right?
Because it is going to happen Bondon – 100%
Mel xo
The MTE Team is so pleased to announce that the winners of the competition were:
Nikki, Sophie, Healing Path, Sara T and SLee!
Congratulations guys!
And thank you so much for making the commitment to take part in this series!
All of these lovely people are as we speak being set up with their MTE Course of choice!
For those who missed out, I want to also thank you so much.
I absolutely loved reading all your responses, as it was an absolute joy to see your healing transformations happen so powerfully RIGHT before my eyes!!
Please know … you are all such an inspiration to yourselves, everyone in your life and the Thriver Community!
I love how we interact together in this way – and I look forward to doing more Workshopping and prizes with you in the future on the blog!
Mel xo
Hello Melanie,
I’ve not written before (I’ve been wanting to write to you directly but wasn’t sure how). I found you and NARP last October when the last in a long line of narcissistic relationships ended, as per, catastrophically. I was in deep pain, suicidal and hopeless. I found your site quite randomly and I cannot express, these months on, how eternally grateful I am for your work.
I now realise that both my parents are narcissistic, I’m not 100% sure if they are both full NPD or not but that is no longer my concern. Due to this I too had picked up a lot of narcissistic traits and was massively co-dependant. I can see that so clearly now. I kept attracting narcissists or acting out narcissistically in relationships with kinder men.
I have committed to using NARP, the self-empowerment course and read every blogpost and done every additional healing. Daily. Sometimes 3 or 4 times a day I am so committed and have seen the miraculous results for myself (and even those around me!) over the last 9 months.
My life is unrecognisable from what it was before these healings. I was so full of fear and anxiety. I feel like I was living 10% of the life I live now, if that. I had no clue what self-care was, or indeed unconditional love. Like I can imagine most of your followers: I am attractive, very accomplished, kind and excessively empathetic (it feels embarrassing to say all of that) yet kept failing romantically.
I hope you don’t mind me giving a specific example of a shift I just did in regard to the core belief “I only send you angels”. I only want to exhibit how deep these healings go. I wanted to forgive my parents, I focused on my mother first. I felt a deep pain in my heart, like an arrow. It was from when I was in the womb. It was on my left side so I knew it was from my female side, my mother. My father cheated on my mother when she was pregnant with me. Worse, still, with her sister. When accessing ‘what this pain was about’ all this flashed before my eyes and my heart. The pain and betrayal. The angels removed the arrow from my heart and too I noticed my mother’s hands around my heart, protecting me. These too were removed. She never did talk about the betrayal and forgave both my father and her sister (her sister subsequently sadly commited suicide many years later). Next, a huge shooting pain on my right flank, my father, and my eyes felt heavy. It was four years old. Not me, but through my father’s eyes. He was a child and he witnessed his mother cheating on his father whilst he was away at sea. There is speculation that his younger sister is from a different father due to her son contracting a rare genetic disease which is heredity on the male side which none of my father’s other male siblings or second generation have experienced. The sister also looks markedly different. Anyway, just piecing things together. Though I’m well away there’s nothing I need to do cognitively to heal myself. I felt incredulous, angry, I wanted to hit out. This pain was lifted off me by the angels. Lastly, a massive weight on my back. When I saw the pain it was a great backpack full of rocks. I was 4 years old and carrying the emotional burdens of my parents. I was scared and anxious and weary. I didn’t know when another rock would be placed in it. I took this bag off and put it on the floor. The angels couldn’t lift it as it was so heavy (perhaps generations of pain). It’s closeby and I’ll work on it again when I next do a shift.
Sorry to go on, I just cannot express in words what you and these series of healings has done for me and those close to me. I was diagnosed with fibromyalgia after my last narcissistic relationship. I suffered from chronic pain in my body and couldn’t think straight. I smoked like a chimney since I was 15 (I’m 35 now) and drank a lot. Now 9 months on. I rarely experience any bodily pain. I do yoga daily. I eat a plant-based diet. I no longer smoke or drink. I have forgiven everyone who ever caused me any hurt including myself. And I do my best to love and be loved. Some mornings I wake up and look out my window at the sky and cry because I feel so blessed to be alive and grateful for my experience so far. This is all thanks to these healings and the commitment and responsibility I took on to follow them.
Thank you from the entirity of my soul and my heart.
Namaste,
Gina xxx