[breadcrumb]

I know many of you tune in weekly to my Empowered Love Radio Show. I am grateful to all of you who listen in!

This week I have an exciting announcement…

I have begun a new series, which will air once every three weeks which is called: Thriving After Narcissistic Abuse.

Within this series I will interview Narcissistic Abuse Recovery Program members who have recovered and are now thriving after narcissistic abuse.

These radio shows are to help inspire you by discovering how these people turned their life around – after being in what I describe as ‘the bowels of hell’.

 

Galeet’s Story

Galleet’s story is truly inspiring, when I first met Galleet she had some of the most severe symptoms of narcissistic abuse I had ever come across.

To name a few she had, severe depression, suicidal thoughts, swelling in her joints which stopped her from walking, agonizing chest pains and obsessive thoughts about her ex narcissist.

Galeet started the Narcissistic Abuse Recovery Program on October 19th 2012 and on December 30th Galeet said she was literally “dancing around her house because she had never felt so happy!”

Below you can read Galeet’s answers to some of the questions I asked her.

 

How Bad Was It For You?

My condition got progressively worst with time. I did not know I was in an abusive relationship. I only understood abuse in terms of physical and sexual abuse. I had no idea that emotional, psychological, verbal and financial abuse existed, nor did I recognize what those were. At the time when I was discarded by the Narc (not knowing he was a Narc) my body went into shock and I immersed myself into work and kept as busy as possible.

The problem was that my boss was very abusive and I guess I felt comfortable in that environment because it wasn’t different from what I was used to – being controlled and manipulated felt ‘normal’. 6 months later, after I had enough with my boss and quit my job, my body started to come out of survival mode and all the symptoms started to appear.

At first it started with severe depression, crying uncontrollably, unable to sleep at night, but slept all day, couldn’t keep a job, loss of concentration, over-eating, not eating enough, nightmares about my ex at night and obsessive thoughts about him during the day.

It was torturous and I had no energy to do anything. If I could get out of bed for at least 4 hours a day that was a huge accomplishment. That lasted about 6 – 8 months. Next came agonizing chest pain that literally had me on the floor rolling around screaming and crying uncontrollably. That’s when I started the suicidal thoughts.

It actually became quite obsessive; I spent months researching the easiest way to take my life. I remember during that time an old acquaintance died of cancer and my first reaction was, “lucky girl, I wish that was me.” It was then I realized something very serious is going on and that’s when I fortunately discovered I was narcissistically abused – a year and half after my break up. I had no idea narcissism existed before that, I never even used the word before.

Shortly after the ‘agonizing chest pain and suicidal thoughts’ episodes, the obsessive thoughts of my ex-narc caused me to become nauseous and I eventually started vomiting at the thought of him. One morning I woke up and my knee was completely swollen. It was bizzare to me since I usually spent the day in bed unable to move so it’s not like I could have sprained it walking or exercising. The swelling started to spread to my ankles and I was on crutches for almost two months. The swelling in the one leg eventually moved to the rest of my body, first my back and then my arms, to the point I was unable to use my hands.  My lowest point was when my mom had to feed me and help me go to the bathroom. The doctors thought I might have Rheumatoid arthritis because nothing they prescribed helped and they had no idea what caused the swelling in my joints.  They thought it would be a long-term condition and that I would have to be treated for the rest of my life. But I knew my condition was emotional.

 

What Had You Tried To Get Better?

Well, first I will preface that I do not want to put down any of these methods because they did give me some relief at the time, they stopped me from taking my own life, but it was not enough to completely heal me. I will list them and they are not in consecutive order, I was trying all of them regularly for years…

Firstly, a year of couples therapy (while with the Narc) and I was diagnosed with depression and given medication.  Then after the break-up it was 2 years of seeing… two clinical counselors, a holistic health counselor, intuitive consultant, grief coach, reiki healer, theta healer, medical intuitive, energy healer, body talk practitioner, an acupuncturist, chinese medicine, chinese acupuncture and massages, hypnotherapy, hypnotic suggestion programming, past life and current life regressionist, energy matrix and neurolink healing, spiritual counselor, dream interpreter, channel/teaching psychic, metaphysical minister, other various psychics and western medical doctors, including a few specialists.

On my own I bought countless meditation cd’s, wrote in my journal daily, burnt letters, lit candles and prayed daily, created vision boards, went to AA meetings (just to have an outlet, but I was not an alcoholic), joined support groups, I signed up for self-development seminars, practiced Kabbalah, read every article and book on narcissism, did ceremony work with sage and prayer to release chords and energetic hooks with the narc, I bathed in different salts and minerals to release negative energy and curses, bought and slept with different types of stones, read every self-development book I could find and tried every exercise in each book. I cried every single day at least once for two years.

Like I said, I spent two years not working because I couldn’t function and solely focused on trying to recover. I went into debt to afford all these methods of healing and flew to different cities and countries to see some of these practitioners.

 

How Was Quanta Freedom Healing Different?

I had come across Melanie’s website several times and read all her material and had been following her blog for months, but I was spending so much money on all the other healings I did not want to spend more money on a session with Melanie. When the swelling in my joints occurred and I couldn’t walk anymore, I figured I had nothing to lose so I used the last bit of credit I had on my credit card and made an appointment with her. I remember the first thing Melanie said to me when she was able to scan me was, “Wow, you must be one strong soul, how are you surviving?” and the truth was, barely…I was usually an hour away from taking my own life.

She told me it would take a lot of work and a few more sessions together because the energy was extremely heavy. I remember feeling so defeated when she said that because I spent 2 years trying other methods of healing and how was it possible I wasn’t any better after all that work?

After my first session with Melanie, I sort of felt blissfully calm for about a day and then all of sudden extreme pain surfaced that lasted for days. I contacted Melanie about it and she said that when we release a layer more will come up. It was then I realized how effective her method of healing was because I was able to physically feel the next layer of pain come up, that pain felt different than the pain from before.

 

When Did It All Turn Around You?

After my first session with Melanie, I had two more sessions with her that same month and finally felt like I was getting somewhere. I think for the first time in years I was able to laugh. Then I was triggered again. I had been invited to join an online baby pool (to guess the name and date of birth of a friend’s baby) and I saw my ex-narc’s name on the email list. I immediately went into hysterics and all my symptoms came back.  That day I prayed and prayed for something to help me. That night I received one of Melanie’s articles saying she was having a special on NARP and I could pay in monthly installments. I knew it was a sign because I couldn’t afford much else. I got the program that night and started it right away. That’s when things really started to turn around for me.

 

What is the Difference Now?

When I started NARP, the first thing that healed for me was the swelling in my joints and I was able to walk and use my hands again. Let me tell you, if you’re not well physically nothing else in this world matters. I went back to see my doctor after doing NARP for a month and I remember she said to me, “Whatever you’re doing, keep doing it.” I was releasing so much pain and heavy energy each day (I would do at least two healings a day and a forgiveness exercise from Melanie’s forgiveness e-book) that sometimes I would sleep for days because my body wanted to collapse after being in survival mode my whole life.

After my mind and body started getting clearer, I started to become more intuitive. It was like a dark cloud was lifted and I could finally see clear what was in front of me. I immediately started cutting friends out of my life because I realized how toxic they were (most were connected with my ex-narc) and I started enjoying time alone (I have never been single or without a million friends around me).

When I started rebuilding my self-esteem and confidence, that’s when I started making plans to go back to school and follow the career path I always wanted to go on but never thought I was good enough. And more importantly, I remember the day came that I felt authentically and genuinely happy. I never had that feeling before; I did not realize what true happiness felt like because I had never experienced it before. I was literally dancing around my house because I never knew how it felt to feel that good. It was truly the best day I have ever had in my life.

 

How Long Did It Take to Get Better?

I started NARP on October 19th  2012 (I remember because it was the day I received that baby pool email), and the day that I had “the best day of my life” was December 30th (the night before new years) because I remember saying to myself, “What great timing to start 2013 in this state.”  So it took me about two months. By January and February I was only doing a couple healings a week and I have not had to do any in March, which is why the timing of your new program was perfect.

 

How Did Narcissistic Abuse Change Your Life?

It changed my life in every way. My relationship with my parents is better and healthier (even though my dad was emotionally unavailable and controlling and my mother a very weak co-dependent) because when they started to see me change it motivated them to ‘look outside the box’ sort of speak and heal themselves. My dad started tai chi and reading books about subconscious beliefs and my mother stopped working so she could take better care of herself for once. Although my parents are divorced and have their own relationships (my mom is remarried).

I see the relationship with their significant others also improving.  I do not need to have a million friends around me anymore, and only have a couple friends that I know I can rely on and trust and that’s all I need (its way less work and energy!). People of great integrity and support are entering my life and toxic people are completely gone.  I spend majority of my time alone and love it, and do not have the NEED to find a relationship like I did before.

I am stronger, I speak up for myself, I put my needs first and could care less about what others think of me. My priorities, morals and values have completely changed. My focus is about building a better life for me instead of finding someone else to do it for me. I have become so intuitive (I always have been, but now it’s stronger than ever) that I actually physically react to something that is not right and able to move past it right away. I let go of things that hurt me, I am no longer ashamed of my upbringing (I was for many years) and I no longer care about material things the way I used to. I would rather have absolutely nothing than lose the feeling I have about myself today. I feel invincible; I know I can accomplish anything I want.  And it’s already started…

 

So What Did You Think Of The Show?

Please let me know in the comments what you thought of this show.

I know that with the wide range of different circumstances regarding the people I interview – that you will definitely hear very similar stories to yours.

Also I’d like to know if you are happy with this series being every 3 weeks with normal Empowered Love Radio Shows continuing every other week.

Galeet has offered to answer any questions on the blog that you would like to ask her about her recovery journey. So please ask Galeet anything you would like to know!

 

Join My FREE 16-Day Recovery Course to Begin
Healing from Narcissistic Abuse

Related blog post

Thriver Talks Special: Healing Financial Prosperity After Abuse

Read More

Repetitive Compulsion Disorder and Abuse

Read More

Commments (31) + Leave a comments

31 thoughts on “Thriving After Narcissistic Abuse Story: Galeet

  1. Article was great. It gives me hope that one day I can get out of this emotionally/physically abusive relationship! I’m currently in university accommodation living on the same floor just up the hall from my bf and I tried breaking it off once but we got back together 3 months later. You’re articles keep me going and help me know that I’m not alone and that I will be self empowered and happy again one day!

    1. Hello Galeet, thank you for your powerful words of encouragement. I wasn’t able to listen to the show but just these few words as you share you journey here are an encouragement. I haven’t don’t the NARP program but Melanie’s blog is a wonderful source of inspiration for me everyday. I finally ended my relationship with my husband of 28 years, 2 months ago. After years of forgiving him, enduring the cycles of abusive and oppressive behavior from him, I finally said enough. In fact he left me no choice – it was a metaphorical gun to my head. It’s pretty tough ending a relationship after so many years but I have been working through my codependency and facing my reality so as to help me grow into the whole person I’m meant to be. Thank you Galeet & Melanie for being so accessible to people like me. You both provide hope & light for my future.

      1. Hi Tatiana,

        Thank you for sharing. Im glad my story has given you encouragement. I am also pleased you are out of your relationship after so many years and finally had the strength to leave. It really does seem like a metaphorical gun to your head, there is just so much pain and abuse one person can take.

        You have already honored yourself in so many ways by facing your reality, it is very hard to do so!

        Best wishes to you,

        Galeet

    2. Hi Leigh,

      I’m glad the article inspired you and truly if you haven’t liestened to the radio show yet – it really does help grant so much hope.

      Truly ‘the day’ we start the journey to getting better is when we look deep within, start claiming our unhealed parts and begin loving and healing them.

      That is when it all starts to ‘make sense’ and turn around. Empowerment truly comes from within.

      Mel xo

      1. Hi Mel, I’m really loving all this information. It helps me immensley. But what advice do you give for a friend who is battling and almost broken in a custody dispute with her ex N in trying to get access to her children? Does she keep going? And to what point…literal breaking point. Nat

        1. Hi Natalie,

          The truth of the matter is for all of us – regardless of what happens with narcs, custody battles, settlement, threats or all other forms of painful life events – the best results always occur when we deeply work on ourself.

          Results in life (and especially with narcs) don’t go well when we are engaging in these battles from a state of pain, fear, devestation or terror…

          These emotions actually feed narcissists and promote energetically their reign of fear.

          Many, many people on NARP who are working hard on the Modules are in the throes of battels that are huge – and the ones who get the best results are undeniably the ones who are working on themselves inwardly as their biggest missions and THEN dealing with what they need to.

          All of our results in life (Law of Attarction) come from our ‘inner state’.

          Many of the ‘Thriving After Narcissistic Abuse’ radio shows coming up are about these people who went through these battles – and the astounding difference inner recovery work makes.

          This is the only genuine suggestion I can grant to your friend – as I so know (through my personal narc experience and observing so many others) if we don’t get our emotions healed the results are precarious.. regardless of any practical suggestions.

          Mel xo

          1. What are the modules?
            Thank you, Melanie. I recently found you on my podcast app. You have been a glimmer of hope in a life I never thought I would be living. I keep seeing myself 5 chapters ahead…happy… but my ex sucks me back in before I can truly move forward. I will see progress one day and joy in being the best mom I can be and then at night have nightmares that startle me awake and I start all over from square one trying to talk myself out of going back into the same patterns.
            As hard as it was to survive each day walking on eggshells it was more normal & easier somehow. I want to believe this is my fault but each email you send is so spot on and comes exactly when I need it.

    3. Hi Leigh,

      Im glad you enjoyed the article!

      Wow, I know how tough it is living in the same city as my ex-boyfriend, I can only imagine how tough it is being on the same floor as him in residence! I also lived in accommodation living in university so I know how close everyone is.

      You are not alone, do not judge yourself for that at all, we have all been through it. Your intention of knowing that you want to be self-empowered and happy again will be what gets you through this. It was the same for me, I knew I wanted to feel happy again and was willing to do anything to feel that way again.

      Keep going, don’t give up!

      Best,

      Galeet

  2. OMG ~ thank you so much Galeet for being on the show, I related so much to a lot of your story, your past experiences, your experience with other types of therapies, your experience with the NARP programme and also how your relationship with your parents has improved, how your mother was codependent and your father emotionally unavailable, how you was ashamed of your upbringing ~ the identification goes on!!! I was saying to a girlfriend only yesterday how, out of all the experiences in my life, nothing can compare to the trauma of being in a narcissistic abusive relationship but how it was also by far the absolute best thing that could ever happen to me because without it I don’t believe I would of ever achieved the type of authentic happiness I have now and like Galeet I actually have nothing in terms of finance or material stuff or even people around me but I have so much more than I have ever had and could of ever imagined having. I sometimes, even now, occasionally doubt my experience, I ask, was he really a narcissist, was I abused or was it me but then I will get an email from Melanie or read an article or hear something like this radio show and it gives me so much support and encouragement and all the doubts completely disappear again.

    1. Hi Karen,

      It was truly my pleasure to be on the show so thank you! And I am glad you were able to relate to it with your personal experience.

      Isn’t amazing how nothing compares to the pain of being in a narcissistic relationship? It is truly unbelievable, and unless you have gone through it no one really gets it. I think one of the toughest things was having to explain to my family and friends the kind of pain I was in because it was really hard for them to fathom.

      I also asked myself many times, “is he really a narcissist?” And sometimes I would drive myself crazy trying to make sure he was, but then something helped me that was very simple…would I feel this way if he wasn’t a narcissist? And the answer is NO. If it was a break-up with a normal person (which I have had many times in my life before) it would have been like getting over those other relationships, but it wasn’t. This was much different.

      I also couldn’t believe I was abused, that part was really something that took me a long time to wrap my head around. I sometimes thought maybe I would wake up the next day and someone will tell me this was all a big joke.

      But the truth is, all that doesn’t matter. What matters is how we come out of it. It’s not what brings us down that defines us, it’s how we rise up from it.

      And you’re right, the experience can truly be the best thing that ever happened to you!

      xo Galeet

      1. Thank you Galeet so much, your reply brought tears to my eyes because your right, if it was a ‘normal’ relationship/break-up then I know it wouldn’t have this kind of effect on me it is just such a crazy situation and like you said, unless you have been through it, you wouldn’t really be able to understand it and your right, none of that matters anymore, the abuse, the is he or isn’t he etc etc, its about where I’m at now and I’m in a far better position than I have ever been in, in my life and I wouldn’t swap how I feel now for anything. Well done to you and thank you once again for sharing your experience, it means a lot to me and I know to a great deal of other people also.

        much love

        Karen xx

  3. Your techniques are useful Melanie. I lived with an evil man for a few years. What a nightmare but I escaped with partly your help. Your reading material is spot on and very accurate in explaining how it is living and trying leave the narc. The damage heals in time. I make sure i surround myself with good kind people like I used to before I met him. Thankyou, for keeping me on track with your great info and tips. Sharon-Rose

  4. Hi Galet, I recognise my sister in you. She has gone through a lot – like me as well – but her symptoms were physical. You are so strong to fight for your self. Congratulations!!

    I also want to say to Melanie, thank you for the free session you give on youtube. It completly changed me in a way I have never felt before in my life.

    I had no money to buy your course online and I still dont – but let me tell you – I recorded this session with my phone from youtube so that every night I listen to it.

    When I have a better economy I will buy the online course from you. I signed up for other newsletters but none of them helped me – only yours. That is why – you are the only one I will return to and actually buy your sessions, because you seemed to realize that there are women out there who needs free access to start their life in the right direction. Not only that, you also explain that it is an addiction – I have never been addicted to drugs – this made me realize that this was my drug. thank you.

    Sending much love to all of you who had to go through narcissistic abuse.

    1. Hi Yael,

      I am so glad this session on youtube has made a powerful difference to your life – and you are so welcome!

      Iy will be wonderful when you can be on NARP and really bring the healing journey home!

      Thank you for your lovely post and well wishes to the community.

      Bless 🙂

      Mel xo

    2. Hi Yael,

      Thank you for the congratulations! I am sorry to hear your sister also had physical symptoms. I have heard of many similar cases, which is why I do believe being in an emotional abusive relationship (or any type of abusive relationship)is one of the worst things for our health.

      I am glad Melanie’s recorded sessions has helped you, I also did the free youtube sessions at first and found them to be very beneficial. And yes, Melanie is a great source for dissecting what is truly happening to us when we are getting out of these types of relationships. I was never addicted to drugs as well so understanding that I did have an addition to this form of love really helped me to recover by taking that into consideration.

      All the best to you,

      Galeet

  5. I am still ravaged by the effects of suffering Narcissistic Abuse. I live in fear of financial ruin all the time; for four years financial abuse was the primary method of punishment from my ex husband … and this fear stops me from committing financially to NARP. This message gave me encouragement to trust in a possible brighter outcome.

    1. Hi Talloolah,

      thank you for your post. I am sure Galeet may encourage you too. My story was similiar to Galeet’s in that when I several years ago collapsed in ‘life and death’ need to recover – I was also financially very badly off – and I paid for a great deal of my healing on credit cards.

      This was the first time I had ever honoured myself simply because the pain was too excruciating not to. I saw a psychologist, kinesiologist, reiki healer and deep tissue massage therapist once a week. As well as some other random healers. My bills weekly were anywhere between $350.00 to $500.00 a week, money at the time (whilst going through an awful property settlement) I just really did not have.

      Ultimately like Galeet these tools kept me alive (kinesiologist being by far the best), but it wasn’t until I started applying QF Healing to myself that the really powerful recovery began.

      The wonderful thing is now anyone can access QFHealing in NARP for only $20.00 a month, which is such an inexpensive cost to heal, honour, love and commit to yourself.

      And the wonderful thing is it is complete money back guaranteed for the first month – which means you will have that $20.00 refunded back to you if it doesn’t work for you.

      I wish with all my heart such a clear path that was so inexpensive and risk free was laid out for me back then when I was shattered, but it just did not exist! The great thing for you is that it does 🙂

      Please be encouraged!

      Hugs 🙂

      Mel xo

    2. Hi Talloolah,

      Very sorry to hear you are still feeling ravaged. I too went through financial abuse with my ex-narcissist. He would make me pay for things I did not want to pay for, anything related to me I had to pay for him otherwise he wouldn’t participate. He once rented out the apartment we were living in together (that he owned) so we both had to move out, but he still made me pay my half of the rent. I didn’t want to fight with him so I let him take advantage of me like that. I came out of it with absolutely nothing even though I had a good paying job at the time.

      I do not blame you for having fear of financial ruin, you have suffered greatly in that regard. But we truly let the narcissist ‘win’ if we let them control our lives with the fears they instilled in us. I too did not want to commit to yet another method (since the other types did not help), but the amazing thing that’s happened is that ever since I started to recover from Melanie’s method money has not been something I stress about anymore. In fact, it started flowing to me very easily.I definitely had to release some limiting belief systems I had about money, but once I did it is no longer an issue for me. It is very liberating.

      You too will feel that way.

      That’s wonderful that our message gave you encouragement to trust in a possible brighter outcome because I promise you it will be one day!

      Warmest regards,

      Galeet

  6. Thanks so much Galeet for sharing your story. Wow, the number of routes for healing you tried is really extensive. I appreciate being able to just go with the NARP program to begin with: I too have physical as well as psychological symptoms and got to the point where I was and am willing to try everything. I left my narc boyfriend a little over a month ago and even now find myself obsessing over what he did, what I said, if I could have tried harder, and the newest preoccupation–whether he’d want me back and how I’d respond or not respond. I have definitely started to understand that this is an addiction. I am clear that I deserve better and enough is enough, and yet I find myself continuing to give my power away and still letting the narc rule my life. I’m planning to start the NARP program this week and you’re story is truly inspiring and gives me hope. Also to Melanie: I like this new series already and can’t wait to hear more.

    1. Hi Liz,

      Yes, you were truly fortunate to find Melanie’s program, it would have literally saved me years of my life had I found her program when I first got out of the relationship!

      It is very normal to feel the way you do in regards to your ex. I had the EXACT same pulls…”would he want me back?” “how would I respond if he reached out to me?” “I can’t believe he did all those things!” “I can’t believe I fell for someone like that!” “Did I do everything to try and save the relationship?” “Could I have done things differently?” “Did that really just happen?!” Trust me, those thoughts consumed me for years.

      During one of my many sessions with various healers one comment really stuck with me that always got me through the times those thoughts came up, “we broke up because of his inadequacies.” Now, I don’t mean that we should blame the narcissist for what happened because there was a reason we were attracted and maintained a relationship with someone like that in the first place – that’s a different matter. What I am saying is that a relationship with someone like that is doomed to fail no matter what we do. We could be Mother Theresa and it will still not work or be healthy. It is not humanly possible to feed a narcissist for a long period of time.

      Once you start getting deep into the NARP program those pulls will get weaker and weaker until one day you will say to yourself, “I can’t believe I loved someone like that!” and he will feel like nothing to you. To me, my ex is now just some random person on the planet that I used to know. Pretty incredible to feel that way about a person that abused you for years and nearly took your life away.

      Congratulations on starting NARP, I am excited for you because I know the benefits of going through it is so worth it!

      Take care,

      Galeet

  7. I feel deep respect for Galeet sharing her story and trying so hard to find the answers, to heal. Its so much easier to give up and loose hope because being subject to narc abuse takes such a toll and unless ones been there I truly don’t think they can understand.Your interview felt warm and loving. Melanie I really think every piece you offer up is healing, I am so glad i found you and your site.

    1. Hi Gina,

      Thank you for the kind words.

      Yes, you’re right, it is very easy to give up and lose hope. At one point I remember wishing I was a narcissist because then I do not have to feel anything.

      What was interesting is that it was the pain that kept me going. I knew I had to do something to stop feeling the way I did so it forced me to find some way of doing that. And I truly believe that what we ask for in life we receive, we just need to have faith and patience.

      I agree with you, no one will understand what at toll it takes on your life unless they go through it. And the sad part is most people do not have the awareness that they were in a relationship with a narcissist. I didn’t for nearly 5 years. And had I not felt the way I did I probably would have never gone looking for the answers.

      But once we are able to label what happened it makes it easier for us to find the tools that will address it.

      I too am glad you found this site and Melanie!

      Galeet

  8. I divorced my NARC husband of 20 years this past year. We have four children ages 17, 15, 14, 13. All of the children recognized the abuse all of us suffered but especially my suffering. I went to a counselor several years ago who explained to me my husband was a narcissist. He gave me the best advice I could have received that helped me through to this point. He said, “You cannot live in his reality.” Everything changed for me when I heard those words. But here is my question… my oldest daughter is 17 years old and just like my husband. My ex-husband lives on in our house in her. Can she be helped or is this genetic? And how do I live with this situation because she is my child? The no contact rule doesn’t completely apply here. I do not let her run my life but she still has to tell me I am a terrible mother.

    I want to thank you, Mel, for your work. It has helped get through this past year. When I can afford anything at all I will purchase your program. But for now I look forward to your email.

    With love, Jan

    1. Hi Jan,

      What a great point, “you cannot live in his reality.” That could not be more true. Ironically, their reality is no reality at all. It’s all a false being and way of life.

      I am sorry to hear about your 17 year old daughter, that must be hard for you. I do believe anyone can be helped. But I also know we cannot help other people, only ourselves. I love the quote, “think about how hard it is to change yourself, and then you realize what little chance you have of changing someone else.” I thought about that the whole time I was going through my recovery, it was months of agonizing tormenting pain that I couldn’t imagine someone else wanting to go through that. But it’s possible, and it’s so worth it when we do!

      My advice to you, and I think Melanie will also agree with me, is to focus on your recovery. You will see when you start to change the relationship with your children will change. Melanie’s story is a perfect example of this, when she started to change her son also started to change. It was the same with me and my parents. As soon as I got better, my relationship with my parents got better.

      Your daughter is going through her own journey and she has her own lessons in life to learn. We just have to focus on helping ourselves and then everything falls into place, I promise you that is true!

      I really do hope you find a way to start Melanie’s program soon because I promise you you will start to feel, and then subsequently, see a difference in all areas of your life…especially in regards to your children!

      All the best to you,

      Galeet

  9. Hi Galeet! Wonderful to hear your story and I am so happy for you, that you found Melanie and QFH, a truly phenomanal healing tool and so much more.

    I must say living through narc abuse was incredibly difficult and I too had a string of narc relationships, always ending up a total right off for what it did to me each time, it is a wonder I am still here to tell the story of how I survived. The last day and night of my relationship was nearly the end for me and thankfully I had found Melanie about a month ago before what I call the night that brought me to my knees. The small amount of work I had done by listening to a QF session from the radio show, and all the reading to understand what was playing out with the narc, saved my life. I picked myself up and moved out of the unit the next day. I was only about 50kgs,(had lost 5), lost a lot of my hair, was pale and physically the life had been sucked out of me. I had adrenal fatigue to the point of nearly having a heart attack, chest pain, and I was just a mess.

    I tried every holistic treatment available, tried so many potions and lotions, vitamins, anti stress herbs, Chinese meds, went to many natural paths and only ended up getting sicker, plus poorer. So I bought NARP and I am half way through a complete transformation for the abuse. I found that digging into my soul and my past has helped me to understand why I had so many physical ailments and I too had swollen joints, arthritus (still have osteo in my back and knee, from a degenerative genetic disease) but my really horrific symptoms have gone. I eat super foods, essential greens, olive leaf extract,coconut oils, and just good wholesome foods. I am also nourishing my inner self with the wonderful healing of QF.

    Your story is an inspiration and I do know we can all move toward the brightest light, but we have to get off our butts, make an effort, work diligently with ourselves, take the time needed and break a lot of bad patterns that don’t serve us and have been ingrained into us since childhood. I grew up with just my mum as my dad is a high level NPD, diagnosed when I was 2. My mum has been wonderful but followed narc relationships which I lived through as a child.

    Big ((((hug)))) and lots of love to you, and thank you for your courage and sharing. xxx

  10. To add I saw my mother loose two houses, our horses were taken away from us, (during my peak riding performance, and qualifying for the olympics), watched her loose her money in the blink of an eye which she spent her whole life earning and saving as a single mum, plus everything dear to her, gone. She was involved with a narc who was a high end compulsive gambler and didn’t see the signs until 10 years after we had lost everything.
    Financially I am starting again too, just like she did 3 times (she didn’t learn until the last one due to peptide addiction to that way of life). I lost so much and at my age 44, I am renting a small cottage at high rent and paying off a debt that belonged to him, due to the account being in my name.

    None of the material stuff matters to me now and I am being true to myself, enjoying living very simply, and with minimal possessions. I enjoy being alone (always have) and like to be able to be amongst nature, sitting on my modest couch, reading a good book, painting or just being present in the moment.

    I feel sorry for my poor mum, but she is a survivor too and I hope to be able to help her too with my new energy and I hope she can find a way to break through the years of abuse and pain, that is still inside her. I would like to see her grow into her old age peacefully, knowing she did the best she could at the time. We are very close and we sense each other pain on a phenomanal level, so my new energy may transfer to her at some stage along the way.

    Material possessions are not important and I would rather have very little, living truth, than living a life that is not real surrounded by stuff, that truly doesn’t make us happy.

    xx

  11. Hi Jac,

    Thank you, and thank you for sharing your story with me. You have been through quite the journey yourself. Good for you for picking up the pieces, wanting to understand and learn what happened to you and then doing something about it. A lot of people so easily want to avoid the pain in hopes that it will one day pass and they keep repeating the same pattern or end up with some life threatening disease, not realizing it’s connected to their emotional pain they suffered in their life.

    We have a very similar story in regards to our mothers and physical health. I too lost a lot of my hair, I was always pale and had adrenal fatigue. It’s truly amazing how narcs can suck the life out of you without even realizing it. You start to believe there is some other factor causing it. I remember my ex-narc had back problems close to the end of our relationship and when nothing was working we decided to see an acupuncturist. I was having problems losing weight and my joints were always painful so I asked the acupuncturist if I could see her privately. When I went to my private session the following week, the first thing she asked me was, “are you happy in your relationship?” I wasn’t sure why she was asking me that, I did not think it had anything to do with my weight or joints. An acupuncturist is able to pick up on energy, that’s part of their job, they shift the blocks of energy in the body. It was interesting that she was able to pick up on the energy in my relationship while she was working on my ex-narc’s back, while also knowing the cause of my physical health had to do with my relationship.

    My mother has also suffered in regards to her relationships. I do not think my father had a personality disorder, but I do think he has narcissistic qualities (my parents have been divorced since I was 4 years old). After learning about narcissism, I started to see those qualities in my father very apparently. I always saw similar qualities between my ex-narc and my father, but I never imagined it was to that extent! My mother has also suffered greatly; she is in her mid-50’s and completely shattered emotionally and physically. I sometimes feel like I am taking care of a 90 year old woman. She’s too young to feel the way she does. But I think it’s tough for her to do something about it, she would rather avoid the pain. The connection between a child and a mother is very strong. Melanie advised me several months ago to set the goal on my mp3 “release and heal my mother’s pain” and I did. Like you said, I think through our energy we can help our parents.

    Writing all this just reminds me of how grateful we both should be we are no longer with narcissists. We both have a chance at a better and healthier life. I sometimes think I was given a second chance at life and I was reborn. And although I look the same (except much healthier) and still have the same personality, I feel like a completely different person inside. Anyone that is in a relationship with a narcissist (or any other type of unhealthy relationship), needs to ask themselves, “What is my life worth?” because truly you are sacrificing your life for someone else in this version of ‘love’. Nothing is worth that.

    Lots of love to you Jac,

    Galeet

  12. A big hello Galeet from a very windy Tassie today! Strange weather for Autumn, which is usually still, colourful and peaceful, with warm days and moderate nights. Lovely time of year and my favourite.

    Simlar story indeed and my physical health problems started when my mum and my father were having problems. I was just a baby and after mum left him, I was rushed to hospital diagnosed with chronic asthma, nearly died and spent my childhood in hospital, even to the extent of being schooled there for a few months of every year, as I was so sick. My fighting spirit kept me strong and alive and the doctors were amazed at how I survived, as my condition was so bad, they didn’t think (on medical terms) that I was going to make it. During that time for me, my mother was suffering from the stress of leaving my father and his disorder (she was still in contact for a while after) and watching her daughter fight for life. There is a lot of history regarding my mum and it was not a great childhood for her, with my grandfather at war (WW2) and an alcoholic. She lost her mum at a young age too, from a stroke. More to her story, but I won’t post it here, respecting her privacy. Mum accomplished so much and has an amazing fighting spirit, very strong, very loving and an amazing woman. She reminds me of an elder, who has a sense of wisdom about her and she has a knowing of something when it is not right. She sensed something was off with my ex, the first day she met him. He was just too ‘over the top’ with everything and imbalanced. She is very intuitive.

    RE the last paragraph, I was an active member of my gym and loved it, trained there all the time, was super fit, strong and looked amazing. I was more confident and didn’t have agraphobia or any of the issues I developed when ‘he’ came into my life. I had started a new job, with life going well for me. It had been a turning point for me as I had not long been out of a relationship with someone who had “OCD” with narc traits, and psychosis (although he was better to live with than my ex narc) and was actively seeking treatment for his illness. When my ex came into my life about 3 months after my ‘ocd’ relationship, it was all on. The ‘love bombing’, the insane attention he was giving me, the obsession with me, and so on. I was swept into a new world very quickly and I know it was because ‘I needed love and for someone to adore me’ among other reasons that had been a part of my childhood, and growing up without a dad, which of course attracted me to him, apart from his stunning looks. I was swept into a fantasy false world, just like in the movies. It turned out, I stopped going to the gym as often, spending copious amounts of time with him, ‘to please him’ and one night I was woken at 3am, as he needed to see me, because he was feeling off and scared. I rushed to the hospital where he said he was going and found out he was still at home (waited outside the hospital until 4.30am). His house was (30mins drive from my house), as he needed to see me badly, but didn’t tell me he was still there. I arrived and his sister was there (she was a narc also, (extreamly viscious woman), plus the ambulance and he was faking a stomach pain, just so I could be near him. The ambulance left as they said he had food poisoning. I didn’t get to my new job the next day and lost my job soon after, due to lack of attendance running to his needs all the time. I then moved in with him and the red flags started appearing. So getting back to my point, is I didn’t know what was playing out, and I didn’t respect myself enough to know I deserved more and it seemed normal for me. It was abuse I was used too and being an ‘over functioning empath’ my whole life, was thinking about his needs before my own. I started having health problems soon after and was hooked into a nightmare, but was so addicted to this man, I couldn’t bear to leave in-case of loosing everything, (what I thought was my whole life at the time, my wonderful future with this amazing man).

    My intuition started telling me, something is not right here, but I stayed.

    So sacrificing your life is what happens when we enmesh with a narc or disordered individual and no it is not worth it. When I found Mel, I realised so much and knew I loved my life too much to die, so I got out. It happened by chance as he was complaining about the neighbour being ‘mentally ill’ and I said something which triggered rage within him, which was my turning point. It confirmed everything I had learnt and I got out fast.

    Life is so precious and I would not go back to that life for anything, never again. I love my simple life and embarking on a new journey which is very exciting and people like Mel, you Galeet and others make it worth fighting for. After all, life, nature, with all the beauty around us is worth every second of each moment and if I lost my home again today, I would still hold happiness and contentment in my heart for what I do have.

    Love Jac xxx

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *