How Narcissistic Abuse Taught Me To Be A Source To Myself

Written by   Melanie Tonia Evans
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Written by   Melanie Tonia Evans
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  I talk in the Community, a lot, about how important it is to become a source to ourselves, so that we can stop handing power over to narcissists – False Selves. And, also, so that we become powerful creators of our own lives, without dependence on anyone else to provide it for us. And then I realised – I had never done a Thriver TV episode specifically on this! In today's video, I am going to be addressing the four key elements of self: self-love, self-approval, security and survival and how you can identify if you are deficient in some or all of these areas. Personally, before recovering from narcissistic abuse, despite appearing outwardly that I had my life together, I was a complete disaster in all of these areas. (more…)

 

I talk in the Community, a lot, about how important it is to become a source to ourselves, so that we can stop handing power over to narcissists – False Selves. And, also, so that we become powerful creators of our own lives, without dependence on anyone else to provide it for us.

And then I realised – I had never done a Thriver TV episode specifically on this!

In today’s video, I am going to be addressing the four key elements of self: self-love, self-approval, security and survival and how you can identify if you are deficient in some or all of these areas.

Personally, before recovering from narcissistic abuse, despite appearing outwardly that I had my life together, I was a complete disaster in all of these areas.

How To Forgive Yourself For Falling For A Narcissist: Love After Abuse Series

Written by   Melanie Tonia Evans
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Written by   Melanie Tonia Evans
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  One of the hardest things about recovering from narcissistic abuse is that we have to reconcile with the fact that we put so much of our time, love and resources into someone who wasn’t even real. You may be carrying a lot of shame about the fact that your life is now in a far worse state, as a result of the relationship. And worse yet, you may have lost total faith in yourself for making the decisions you did in the past. I want you to understand this, right from the onset, often even more than having to forgive the narcissist – we have to forgive ourselves. And the irony is: unless we forgive ourselves we can’t forgive and be released from any of this, and we can’t forgive the process and what happened to us. (more…)

 

One of the hardest things about recovering from narcissistic abuse is that we have to reconcile with the fact that we put so much of our time, love and resources into someone who wasn’t even real.

You may be carrying a lot of shame about the fact that your life is now in a far worse state, as a result of the relationship.

And worse yet, you may have lost total faith in yourself for making the decisions you did in the past.

I want you to understand this, right from the onset, often even more than having to forgive the narcissist – we have to forgive ourselves. And the irony is: unless we forgive ourselves we can’t forgive and be released from any of this, and we can’t forgive the process and what happened to us.

Pathological Jealousy And Narcissism – Why You Can Never Earn Their Trust

Written by   Melanie Tonia Evans
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Written by   Melanie Tonia Evans
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  If you have ever experienced the pathological jealousy of a narcissist, you know it goes a long way beyond being merely insecure. In today’s Thriver TV episode, I explain to you the difference between the narcissist’s levels of pathological jealousy and what we would term as “normal” levels of jealousy, and what the steps are to recognising it. We also go through how narcissists play out pathological envy ... and I'm going to explain to you how I released myself and healed from the pattern of jealous and controlling partners. (more…)

 

If you have ever experienced the pathological jealousy of a narcissist, you know it goes a long way beyond being merely insecure.

In today’s Thriver TV episode, I explain to you the difference between the narcissist’s levels of pathological jealousy and what we would term as “normal” levels of jealousy, and what the steps are to recognising it.

We also go through how narcissists play out pathological envy … and I’m going to explain to you how I released myself and healed from the pattern of jealous and controlling partners.

Narcissistic Fathers – Healing Yourself And Protecting Your Children From A Toxic Upbringing

Written by   Melanie Tonia Evans
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Written by   Melanie Tonia Evans
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  The destruction of narcissistic fathers is far-reaching and is a problem that is truly plaguing our world. Many of you may have experienced that, with a narcissistic father, your boundaries weren't able to develop – because you didn’t have any. It is also likely that, no matter what you ever did, it wasn’t enough to earn his love or approval ... and ... when you were in need of care, love or advice, the conversations became all about him, about his problems, blaming you or telling you what you were or weren’t doing to make him happy. (more…)

 

The destruction of narcissistic fathers is far-reaching and is a problem that is truly plaguing our world.

Many of you may have experienced that, with a narcissistic father, your boundaries weren’t able to develop – because you didn’t have any.

It is also likely that, no matter what you ever did, it wasn’t enough to earn his love or approval … and … when you were in need of care, love or advice, the conversations became all about him, about his problems, blaming you or telling you what you were or weren’t doing to make him happy.

7 Things Narcissists Do When You Go No Contact

Written by   Melanie Tonia Evans
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Written by   Melanie Tonia Evans
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  Going no contact with a narcissist, and holding it, is excruciatingly difficult. Firstly, there are the terrible feelings of loss of leaving someone, and a life, that you poured your heart and soul into. And ... maybe ... if we have just tried "that", or if he or she had done "that" ... that it could have worked. And then there’s the chaotic thoughts in our head trying to see into the future to predict ... What are they going to do next? (more…)

 

Going no contact with a narcissist, and holding it, is excruciatingly difficult.

Firstly, there are the terrible feelings of loss of leaving someone, and a life, that you poured your heart and soul into.

And … maybe … if we have just tried “that”, or if he or she had done “that” … that it could have worked.

And then there’s the chaotic thoughts in our head trying to see into the future to predict …

What are they going to do next?

Are Narcissists Evil? A Thriver TV Halloween Special!

Written by   Melanie Tonia Evans
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Written by   Melanie Tonia Evans
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  The costume might be a bit of fun, yet today’s Thriver TV episode is a really deep, interesting and serious one. It tackles these questions that so many of us have asked: What is evil? Is the narcissist evil? We all know the feeling of ice in our veins and the horrible disbelief we feel, and the dread and unspeakable trauma when connected to a narcissist. We know it feels intensely evil. It also feels like a creepy psychic phenomenon – not unlike the Dementors in Harry Potter who can literally suck your soul and lifeforce from you. Is this undeniable energetic force that is going on “evil”? (more…)

 

The costume might be a bit of fun, yet today’s Thriver TV episode is a really deep, interesting and serious one.

It tackles these questions that so many of us have asked: What is evil? Is the narcissist evil?

We all know the feeling of ice in our veins and the horrible disbelief we feel, and the dread and unspeakable trauma when connected to a narcissist. We know it feels intensely evil.

It also feels like a creepy psychic phenomenon – not unlike the Dementors in Harry Potter who can literally suck your soul and lifeforce from you.

Is this undeniable energetic force that is going on “evil”?