Thank you so much for this article!
My narcissist girlfriend turned my world upside down 7 months ago… a week after I had put my dog down. She had a new boyfriend immediately and posted on social media about it. She wrote me the nastiest letter and said the most horrific things that still 7 months later haunt me. To make it more complicated a month ago she texted my youngest daughter to say how hard it was to break up with me and then she called me a few days later! I have been studying narcissistic behavior, I’ve been taking the time to heal, I’ve been pursuing my love of music and trusting the universe that there’s someone out there willing to love and commit to me as I am to them. Your article was another stepping stone on this journey. Thank you.

I’m having a difficult time recovering from the devaluing and discarding cycles which happened more than once. It has been the most painful experience of my life and feel like I will never completely heal from the trauma and discard.

I can see how that would stick in your craw. Of course HE wasn’t the catalyst and he’s not doing ANYone any favours. You are healing despite his abuse, but because you have had this experience, you in your wisdom (something he lacks) can turn it around for yourself and USE it as a catalyst. There is no credit to him here whatsoever and he is really deluded if he thinks that he is doing anyone any favours via his abuse.

Ho Jpal,

how awesome that you have been working with NARP http://www.melanietoniaevans.com/narp and experiencing these wise and powerful breakthroughs, coming home to your True Self and Life.

I am so happy for you!

Lots of love and continued blessings

Mel 🙏💞🦋

Usually occurring around issues in her life with loss, I always justified it as how she dealt with issues of hurt and loss. As I look back now, the hurt and the loss was just a trigger that pushed her into discarding me. Then, as I started to get better, she’d always come back at the perfect moment and things would be better than they were before the discard, further strengthening my belief that we were getting better.

Working with the NARP modules has been an immense help with dealing with the feelings and struggles after the last discard, separation and silent treatment. The pain was so immense and deep that I thought I’d die. But that is no longer the case. Anytime I have a feeling, I try to identify and head to a module to heal the trauma. Sometimes I can identify it, sometimes I can’t, but relief of the feeling (trauma) is always the result. These healings allow me to look back and see things more clearly about the quality of the relationship, moreover, the very one-way direction of care, kindness and energy. This allows me to be able to handle the bouts of sadness and grief a lot better than before I joined the NARP. I’m able to forgive myself, forgive her and be at peace with loving myself with all my heart!

Thank you, Melanie, for all your hard work and showing up in my life just as I needed you, your work and your team. Had my N not been the catalyst for my own necessary inner work, I wouldn’t been receptive to receiving the blessing of NARP.

Lots of love!

-Joel

Bang on Iris,

as always Dear Sister!

Mel 🙏💞🦋

I love the part about connecting to our true life.

It spoke to me very clearly since I realized that while I am in any relationship where I am trying to ‘keep the peace’ by walking on egg shells, or just preparing to defend myself constantly for having the audacity to say what I want without having to justify it, I am not being my true self.

All this energy used to build a defense against the narcissists’ moody outbursts could have been going to building up my own beautiful normal, positive, fruitful, love-ly life experiences.

Rather than being about stress and putting out fires all the time, I could be processing actual tangible peace in my body. I could be living a fabulous, happy life that is productive and inspired.

It is the love for our TRUE SELF that is the best motivator for parting with narcissists and ending the constant battles. Otherwise, we become literally sick from the relationship and forfeit living our true life.

ENDING a stifling narcissistic relationship is really done by ALLOWING our BEAUTIFUL True LIFE to FLOW Freely. There we discover our BEAUTIFUL Perfect Self full of fresh air or Life.