Comments on: 7 Mistakes You Might Be Making In Your Narcissistic Abuse Recovery

By: Drew

Drew — Sat, 03 Apr 2021 17:25:20 +0000

Pining not paying.

By: Drew

Drew — Sat, 03 Apr 2021 17:23:53 +0000

What do you do when you still live so close to the person? We were living together when I found out she was cheating on me. The wife of the guy she was cheating with reached out to me with recorded phone calls. But somehow after everything that she did to me I miss her so much, and I find myself passing by what used to be our apartment. I want to reach out so bad but I have not, and what hurts even more is that she hasn’t either. And what makes matters worse is that her ex-husband lives in the area as well and share custody with the kids, and now I’ve seen her car there multiple times. I just feel like I’m going insane and I don’t know what to do anymore. I don’t even know if she was a narcissist or what, all I know is that I should be thankful that it’s over but all I do is paying for her every single day, and I hate every day more and more.

By: Melanie Tonia Evans

Melanie Tonia Evans — Sat, 02 Jan 2021 11:51:39 +0000

In reply to Anne.

Hi Anne,

Dear Lady, please come into the NARP Member’s Forum http://www.melanietoniaevans.com/member

That is where we can support you and help you work through this the most

Sending love and healing

Mel 🙏💕💚

By: Kate

Kate — Fri, 01 Jan 2021 17:13:28 +0000

In reply to Anne.

Dear Anne,
Please be gentle to yourself. 24 years is a very long time and 3 months no time at all. Lyme disease took 2 years of your life, even after the bacterial infection was gone, and maybe changed you forever with residual symptoms, vulnerabilities, memories, and lessons. You and your narc had a much longer, intertwined life together – one that is complicated and not simply wiped clean by antibiotics. Everything you so authentically describe, though very hard, also sounds very normal. Trust yourself. Many share your journey and resonate with your struggle. Thank you so much for sharing. I wish you blessings and sweet moments in the new year ❤
Kate

By: Anne

Anne — Wed, 30 Dec 2020 15:52:48 +0000

I’m still struggling even with NARP, I just can’t seem to get relief. I asked my narc of 24 years to leave 3 months ago. He did and we’ve had very little contact. I felt I was doing better at beginning and worse now mentally. I used food and alcohol to survive when he was here – and am still using it now. It doesn’t make me feel better, I can’t get the memories of the good person he was to stop – my mind keeps flashing them to me….I had Lyme disease years back and he was there for me always and I couldn’t work for 2 years – he supported me every step. Flash forward to the last 5 years- he stayed out at least one night a week no contact at all and then would come home and tell me he can’t come home to this and that I didn’t deserve to know where he was. As Covid was around I got petrified and made him go. Then he ended up with the virus. Anyway I feel lost confused and troubled and can’t seem to get straight as to WHY I can’t get the healing all speak of. I’m frustrated with myself as I know he’s fine – taking walks long drives while I can hardly do laundry or get dressed sometimes. I pray a A LOT for help and Melanie you’ve been so helpful your info page and NARP. But I’m struggling so much…help.

By: Beth

Beth — Wed, 23 Dec 2020 02:12:16 +0000

“Many people go through intense battles with narcissists. Things like property and custody, and of course, the emotional non-closure and injustices which feel like an unhealable soul rape.”

Thank you for putting that into words. That is exactly how it feels. It is so overwhelming to heal from all directions at the same time. To then be offered apple pie – as if nothing ever happened – during a custody exchange. It is a very dissociating experience.

I’m very much looking forward to the program you offer. Thank you for understanding the inexplicable, complex trauma this kind of situation creates. People often turn to me for help, I’ve been through a lot and have survived, and enjoy helping. But lately I feel I’m unable to even help myself out of this tar pit – and I just wiggle myself in deeper at every attempt. 💜

By: JOinDC

JOinDC — Tue, 08 Dec 2020 17:39:35 +0000

This is a great reminder at a Christmas season this year which has already taken so much life out of so many of us! I do a great job with most of the narcissist behaviors and breaking free, and much of the validation for what I was doing was found here in Melanie’s articles. But, at Christmas, I do try to send one card and gift to each immediate family member, all of whom have ignored and gaslit me for the last few years because I wouldn’t bend to our narcissistic parents and especially my Mom who invalidates us all and tries to manipulate, lie, stir up trouble, and make painful experiences and drama abound. I never knew what was going on, why I wasn’t close to my parents, but I realized this manipulation was narcissism and once I did, it was a breakthrough! I had already stepped back a good bit, but when my Mom (and now Dad) realized I wasn’t going to fall for any more apologies, repentant letters, and I was going to live my fulfilling, happy life and not do what they want to try and win the elusive approval, they started a new and more aggressive campaign to get me to fold, to try to come back into the family circle of drama and abuse…and I never fell for it. I appreciate being able to read articles here for my strength. I am doing the right thing. And, at Christmastime, we all need assurance that although messages are everywhere about “family is everything”, we can all find our families in other friends, friends-as-family relationships, and count our blessings that way! I have an occasional temptation to go looking on the old email account I keep there which is only for family messages from the siblings who go along with this narcissistic behavior AND for my parents…and I go to it less and less now to see if there’s a message. I had already cut out these hateful people, thankfully, and I did that even before I found Melanie’s amazing website and articles. But, this is so helpful, being reminded that what we crave is something healthy, something “normal”, and that cannot be found in a narcissist’s view of love–they don’t know how to love, and finding joy in our lives won’t be found looking back at what we did not and cannot ever get from those sources of toxic people–even if those people are our parents! I am no victim, but it’s good to be reminded of all of this, at the holidays.

By: Helen Meakin

Helen Meakin — Tue, 08 Dec 2020 13:35:41 +0000

Hi Mel
I have been in Narc relationships for the whole of my life from parent to partner. I am now no contact with ex partners, and know there is life after abuse. It is time to heal the inner me and thrive, thank you for your help in my journey, it’s been a long road.

By: Melanie Tonia Evans

Melanie Tonia Evans — Tue, 08 Dec 2020 05:45:19 +0000

In reply to Laurel Marshall.

Hi Laurel,

awwww I’m so thrilled for you that you have come home to you!

It’s an honour for me and the beautiful team to walk this incredible journey with you.

Love and blessings to you

Mel 🙏💕💚