Hi Jack,

great work …

From here all will fall into place.

Keep honoring these boundaries!

Mel 🙏💞🦋

I’ve set reasonable boundaries, eg drop off/ pick up points…. Ex is furious and currently not allow me to see my son. (2 months). Professionals are involved, but typically they are biased towards my ex after being given the smearing, one sided truth-according-to-the-narcissist.

My son had his WhatsApp deleted by the other parent and all communication between us is being monitored. I’ve taken to sending “moon pig” postcards with images of myself and my son on the front. Ex is furious about these and told me my son is putting them in the bin.

I’m sticking to my boundaries and 0 contact unless it’s about my son. Which my ex HATES, and has actually started harassing me to the point the police are now involved.

Oddly, even though I haven’t seen my son for a long time now, I do feel a lot calmer and being able to “box” it, as this time I’m sticking to the boundaries.

1. Drop off/ Pick up is in a public place
2. Ex not allowed in my house
3. Ex cannot take my dogs for a walk / we do not need to do things “as a family”
4. Any contact is limited to things concerning our son.

That’s the very simplistic boundaries. And wow….!

Thank you again for the article and video.

I’ve done NARP for over a year now, daily. I’ve been able to make huge progress. I left the narc, got a restraining order and kept no contact without effort. I’ve come such a long way from where I was (this person was extremely dangerous and abusive) and I’m so proud!
But we have a small child and this is an enormous trigger for me. My terror for the safety of our child is overwhelming. We are in the middle of a custody battle and miraculously I got a temporary court order for only supervised visits between the child and the narc. However, this is only temporary and without proof of abuse toward the child, unsupervised overnight visits will be a reality soon. The child is only 3 years old but already manifests disturbing behavior identical to the narc. I have faith that I can deal with this by healing myself, but the thought of having to leave a helpless child with the narc is beyond terrifying. What about my responsibility as a parent? The narc knows they can get to me easily when the safety of the child is concerned and this is what they will use. I’ve been willing to let everything go (friends, my reputation, property), the narc has no hooks on me – except for the child. What can I do?

Hi Elizabeth,

my number one recommendation to let go of fear and trauma, and heal beyond these people to a level where they cant penetrate you and your life again is NARP http://www.melanietoniaevans.com/narp

Far and away that is the choice that is life-changing.

I hope this helps.

Much love to you and your daughter.

Mel 🙏💕💚

It’s my pleasure Kelliann,

Much love

Mel 🙏💕💚

Hi Kelliann,

really the answer to how to enforce boundaries with n’s is complex, because N’s don’t respect boundaries at all.

My information regarding parallel parenting is really helpful for this, and ultimately working with NARP starves a narcissist of your energy and reaction which then makes them stop trying to get narcissistic supply.

Often they stop acting out when there simply is nothing to gain from trying to push your buttons.

Your inner healing truly is your best and most powerful defense.

Sending you strength and healing

Mel 🙏💕💚

What is your specific thought on the boundary issue? Of course, he is pushing it because he knows how it degrades me. How do you enforce Healthy Boundaries?

Asking because at this point, it is over something simple.

& the other items that are swirling around are: He’s not registered for the online tool that is listed within our agreement, yet taking our so out of state (for vacation, this weekend, my time with him) without the required notice.
It goes beyond if the GF shows up or not.

Any additional thoughts?
I hesitate to contact my attorney as I believe I’ve worn her out with the detailing the abuse as it comes in.

Thank you again,
Kx