Hi Theresa,

I just would love you to know myself and this community are sending you our love and support.

You have got this and please know that we have got you.

Mel 🙏💞🦋

I met a man 21 years ago who appeared to be my soulmate. Yes I ignored the subtle early warning signs. He was adept at maintaining a facade of being my perfect partner for life. I was the sole income provider from 2006-21. He did all three US long-distance trails, went on many multi-week whitewater trips all over the world, concerts galore, had anything he wanted and lived the life of a rock star. Most of this happened while I was at home working. During my ER shifts on weekends, I could rarely reach him via cell phone if it was between Friday evening until Sunday afternoon.

His veneer suffered a major crack when he accidentally texted me a picture of another woman.
I turned his life inside out and realized that I am living in a Lifetime movie. The affairs. The blame-shifting, blatant lying about anything and everything. I spent 2 years collecting evidence to prepare for the divorce– trackers, rental cars, informing the mistress, you name it I did it. There was No Way in Hell I was going to pay him alimony. But, I could not follow through on the divorce due to fear.

He is extremely sneaky and hard to catch, slick like a snake. Why? Because I am his golden meal ticket and because he has a lifetime of practice being a liar. He is now 64 (I’m younger). Do you think he is going to let me go without a fight? He owns me and will make it his mission to destroy me if I “abandon him.” We have no children, thankfully.

So if you read my story and think “you have no children, it’s easy,” “you have a career, it’s easy,” think again. I am still married and living with this man. I only discovered 3 mo ago that NPD is the reason why life with him is mind-scrambling. The ups and downs. All that education did Nothing to protect me. I have enacted much stronger boundaries (esp financially) and he is becoming nastier by the day. When I go No Contact and file for divorce, it will have to be complete and bombproof. He will literally kill me if I falter and go back.

So why have I not left yet? Because of the emotional abuse, I am not yet strong enough to repel his manipulations. Believe me when I tell you he is an expert con artist. He scores 44/50 on Melanie’s NPD trait checklist. I am now doing NARP. After only a few modules, I can feel myself garnering the strength to live again, to be my true self, knowing that even if I lose everything, I am worth it. I have been staying mostly just for retribution, to prove I’m right and to fight for my home and “stuff!”

The healing is about so much more that escaping this narcissist. It’s about me finally getting a chance to live for real.

Not only did he start the fires he sabotaged your insurance by deleting the emails. That’s my impression. I also feel its very unsafe to keep allowing him to contact you as I can sense you still feel like you need closure and it seemed to me like you do feel guilty even though you think you are safe.

Melanie this is 100% accurate my child unfortunately has this and has hooked up with others identical to this. I gave up trying to change it and turn within to heal.

It is just that if you do not think the same way as a Narc you do not know what to look for especially if someone is raised by a Narc they already have personality traits similiar to what Narcs look for in victims. Education on this topic is dire to expose and control this now before it is the fall of our society if it is not already too late. These personality types becomes high in ranks in society: Polititions, CEO’s and Leaders etc. I became aware too late and because I am an Empath I attract these people. I do not mean anything in a rude way because this: is it possible the people or person you are in contact with want you to believe it is your fault because it fits their agenda? I do not want this comment to stick out to someone needing answers because I believe it to be highly incorrect.