Melanie Tonia Evans

Asserting Your Needs In Relationships – Healthy vs Co-dependent

Written by   Melanie Tonia Evans
Permalink 4
48
Written by   Melanie Tonia Evans
Permalink 4
48
  There is a very fine line after narcissistic abuse, when we start wanting and entering new relationships. I believe for many of us who have done the work to heal our Inner Being … ... we may be literally terrified of being co-dependent again! We know the horror and the terror – that was literally life-threatening – when we were enmeshed to a narcissist and had powerlessly relinquished virtually all the rights of our life to them. And maybe, you are STILL struggling to not feel dependent on and entangled with someone who is presently hurting you. (more…)

 

There is a very fine line after narcissistic abuse, when we start wanting and entering new relationships.

I believe for many of us who have done the work to heal our Inner Being …

… we may be literally terrified of being co-dependent again!

We know the horror and the terror – that was literally life-threatening – when we were enmeshed to a narcissist and had powerlessly relinquished virtually all the rights of our life to them.

And maybe, you are STILL struggling to not feel dependent on and entangled with someone who is presently hurting you.

Boundaries – How To Have Difficult Conversations Without Fear Of Retaliation

Written by   Melanie Tonia Evans
Permalink 3
29
Written by   Melanie Tonia Evans
Permalink 3
29
  Today is a delicate conversation and a very necessary one. It is about all the reasons why we hand power away. WHY we don’t put our best foot forward. WHY we get tongue-tied and don’t know HOW to say what we need to … And how all of this is a deadly recipe for getting abused in a narcissistic relationship. But not just that … It is also the total reason we don’t get our needs met, get taken advantage of by other people and get emptied out to the point where we feel unappreciated, unloved and unsupported. (more…)

 

Today is a delicate conversation and a very necessary one.

It is about all the reasons why we hand power away.

WHY we don’t put our best foot forward.

WHY we get tongue-tied and don’t know HOW to say what we need to …

And how all of this is a deadly recipe for getting abused in a narcissistic relationship.

But not just that … It is also the total reason we don’t get our needs met, get taken advantage of by other people and get emptied out to the point where we feel unappreciated, unloved and unsupported.

Empaths – How To Stop Being A Narcissist’s Snack

Written by   Melanie Tonia Evans
Permalink 6
150
Written by   Melanie Tonia Evans
Permalink 6
150
  It is well known amongst Abuse Communities that people who are empaths can be very susceptible to being in relationships with narcissists. It is also noted that spiritual people, caretakers, or individuals in human service industries … for some reason, seem to be high on the narcissist’s snack list. Empaths are sensitive, caring souls who sense other people’s pain and try to make a difference. Narcissists are self-absorbed, self-involved people who create pain for people while they make themselves the number one fixture. It makes sense that these opposites would attract and that Empaths provide the perfect opportunity for narcissists to “take”.  (more…)

 

It is well known amongst Abuse Communities that people who are empaths can be very susceptible to being in relationships with narcissists.

It is also noted that spiritual people, caretakers, or individuals in human service industries … for some reason, seem to be high on the narcissist’s snack list.

Empaths are sensitive, caring souls who sense other people’s pain and try to make a difference.

Narcissists are self-absorbed, self-involved people who create pain for people while they make themselves the number one fixture.

It makes sense that these opposites would attract and that Empaths provide the perfect opportunity for narcissists to “take”. 

Should You Tell A Narcissist Who They Really Are?

Written by   Melanie Tonia Evans
Permalink 5
168
Written by   Melanie Tonia Evans
Permalink 5
168
  It can be a very emotional experience when we find the information that allows us to understand why this person behaves the way they do. And even though the information is shocking it makes so much sense. All the pieces add up.  And we realise we are not going crazy … and it’s NO wonder we feel like we are going through (possibly) the worst experience of our life. All those times we were blamed and told we were the crazy one now doesn’t seem to hold quite as much weight anymore. And at this time it is very likely to feel an intense urge to tell the narcissist who they really are. (more…)

 

It can be a very emotional experience when we find the information that allows us to understand why this person behaves the way they do.

And even though the information is shocking it makes so much sense.

All the pieces add up.

 And we realise we are not going crazy … and it’s NO wonder we feel like we are going through (possibly) the worst experience of our life.

All those times we were blamed and told we were the crazy one now doesn’t seem to hold quite as much weight anymore.

And at this time it is very likely to feel an intense urge to tell the narcissist who they really are.

The 5 Stages Of Forgiveness

Written by   Melanie Tonia Evans
Permalink 7
56
Written by   Melanie Tonia Evans
Permalink 7
56
  A lovely friend of mine Sylvia inspired me, in her reply on one of my Facebook posts, to write this article. "Forgiveness" is such a hot topic … and within the self-help, psychological and healing industries it is a widely acknowledged term. It’s also a very confusing and misunderstood topic. The deeper implications of forgiveness and the personal freedom it achieves and why it achieves it, are not necessarily examined, talked about or accepted. And there are many people who may have believed they have "forgiven" – who have done it conceptually, yet have not experienced a true shift in their heart and being. I know what this was like – before my profound personal journey of narcissistic abuse recovery, where I had to actualise True Forgiveness to save my life … (more…)

 

A lovely friend of mine Sylvia inspired me, in her reply on one of my Facebook posts, to write this article.

“Forgiveness” is such a hot topic … and within the self-help, psychological and healing industries it is a widely acknowledged term.

It’s also a very confusing and misunderstood topic.

The deeper implications of forgiveness and the personal freedom it achieves and why it achieves it, are not necessarily examined, talked about or accepted.

And there are many people who may have believed they have “forgiven” – who have done it conceptually, yet have not experienced a true shift in their heart and being.

I know what this was like – before my profound personal journey of narcissistic abuse recovery, where I had to actualise True Forgiveness to save my life …

Why Do Narcissists Go After Lightworkers

Written by   Melanie Tonia Evans
Permalink 9
105
Written by   Melanie Tonia Evans
Permalink 9
105
So many people who are Lightworkers have been narcissistically abused. An ASTOUNDING amount of people. Why is this the case? Is it because narcissist’s need “Light’ to exist, or is there a BIGGER truth going on? A truth that makes so much sense (as well as lends incredible power) regarding what Lightworkers REALLY came here to do. Find out in this week’s Thriver Tv episode! (more…)

So many people who are Lightworkers have been narcissistically abused.

An ASTOUNDING amount of people.

Why is this the case?

Is it because narcissist’s need “Light’ to exist, or is there a BIGGER truth going on?

A truth that makes so much sense (as well as lends incredible power) regarding what Lightworkers REALLY came here to do.

Find out in this week’s Thriver Tv episode!

What Is Self-Partnering?

Written by   Melanie Tonia Evans
Permalink 10
46
Written by   Melanie Tonia Evans
Permalink 10
46
  Recently I was asked via ThriverTv comments to explain what self-partnering is. It is a term I use a lot, as the foundation of healing from narcissistic abuse. It would seem that this term is self-explanatory – but is it really? And why would it be when we have not been living in a world that has explained, encouraged or taught self-partnering? (more…)

 

Recently I was asked via ThriverTv comments to explain what self-partnering is. It is a term I use a lot, as the foundation of healing from narcissistic abuse.

It would seem that this term is self-explanatory – but is it really?

And why would it be when we have not been living in a world that has explained, encouraged or taught self-partnering?

When Is It Safe To Date After Narcissistic Abuse? Part 2

Written by   Melanie Tonia Evans
Permalink 3
20
Written by   Melanie Tonia Evans
Permalink 3
20
This is Part Two of this series, and I really hope Part One helped you understand why it is so much healthier to not rush into dating after suffering an abusive relationship – ensuring that we create a healthy relationship with ourselves first. Part One, fundamentally was about self-partnering and mating our own soul, so that we could show up healthily as “love” within the creation of another relationship, rather than attempting to get “love” by seeking another person to grant us ourselves. (more…)

This is Part Two of this series, and I really hope Part One helped you understand why it is so much healthier to not rush into dating after suffering an abusive relationship – ensuring that we create a healthy relationship with ourselves first.

Part One, fundamentally was about self-partnering and mating our own soul, so that we could show up healthily as “love” within the creation of another relationship, rather than attempting to get “love” by seeking another person to grant us ourselves.

When Is It Safe To Date After Narcissistic Abuse? Part 1

Written by   Melanie Tonia Evans
Permalink 7
56
Written by   Melanie Tonia Evans
Permalink 7
56
I get asked this soooo often, and I mean so often! This is what people ask … “Is it time to date yet … because I’m struggling with being attracted to decent men … Why is that?” Or … “I’m comparing everyone to the narc … no-one lights me up like he / she did. Why is this? I’m dating but it’s so painful …. it just makes me miss the narcissist more.” (more…)

I get asked this soooo often, and I mean so often!

This is what people ask …

“Is it time to date yet … because I’m struggling with being attracted to decent men … Why is that?”

Or … “I’m comparing everyone to the narc … no-one lights me up like he / she did. Why is this? I’m dating but it’s so painful …. it just makes me miss the narcissist more.”

Is It Possible To Truly Love A Narcissist?

Written by   Melanie Tonia Evans
Permalink 5
68
Written by   Melanie Tonia Evans
Permalink 5
68
Being in love with narcissist is one of the most painful things. It starts off with huge highs because there’s usually something that is really attractive. It could be the spirited conversations you have, electric incredible sex, or maybe it’s the way you feel that finally you’ve met someone who “gets you” so completely on so many levels. And often it feels “different” … in that there is much more of a connection than what you experienced with other people. (more…)

Being in love with narcissist is one of the most painful things.

It starts off with huge highs because there’s usually something that is really attractive. It could be the spirited conversations you have, electric incredible sex, or maybe it’s the way you feel that finally you’ve met someone who “gets you” so completely on so many levels.

And often it feels “different” … in that there is much more of a connection than what you experienced with other people.