Melanie Tonia Evans

How To Forgive Yourself For Falling For A Narcissist: Love After Abuse Series

Written by   Melanie Tonia Evans
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Written by   Melanie Tonia Evans
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  One of the hardest things about recovering from narcissistic abuse is that we have to reconcile with the fact that we put so much of our time, love and resources into someone who wasn’t even real. You may be carrying a lot of shame about the fact that your life is now in a far worse state, as a result of the relationship. And worse yet, you may have lost total faith in yourself for making the decisions you did in the past. I want you to understand this, right from the onset, often even more than having to forgive the narcissist – we have to forgive ourselves. And the irony is: unless we forgive ourselves we can’t forgive and be released from any of this, and we can’t forgive the process and what happened to us. (more…)

 

One of the hardest things about recovering from narcissistic abuse is that we have to reconcile with the fact that we put so much of our time, love and resources into someone who wasn’t even real.

You may be carrying a lot of shame about the fact that your life is now in a far worse state, as a result of the relationship.

And worse yet, you may have lost total faith in yourself for making the decisions you did in the past.

I want you to understand this, right from the onset, often even more than having to forgive the narcissist – we have to forgive ourselves. And the irony is: unless we forgive ourselves we can’t forgive and be released from any of this, and we can’t forgive the process and what happened to us.

Narcissistic Fathers – Healing Yourself And Protecting Your Children From A Toxic Upbringing

Written by   Melanie Tonia Evans
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Written by   Melanie Tonia Evans
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  The destruction of narcissistic fathers is far-reaching and is a problem that is truly plaguing our world. Many of you may have experienced that, with a narcissistic father, your boundaries weren't able to develop – because you didn’t have any. It is also likely that, no matter what you ever did, it wasn’t enough to earn his love or approval ... and ... when you were in need of care, love or advice, the conversations became all about him, about his problems, blaming you or telling you what you were or weren’t doing to make him happy. (more…)

 

The destruction of narcissistic fathers is far-reaching and is a problem that is truly plaguing our world.

Many of you may have experienced that, with a narcissistic father, your boundaries weren’t able to develop – because you didn’t have any.

It is also likely that, no matter what you ever did, it wasn’t enough to earn his love or approval … and … when you were in need of care, love or advice, the conversations became all about him, about his problems, blaming you or telling you what you were or weren’t doing to make him happy.

7 Things Narcissists Do When You Go No Contact

Written by   Melanie Tonia Evans
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Written by   Melanie Tonia Evans
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  Going no contact with a narcissist, and holding it, is excruciatingly difficult. Firstly, there are the terrible feelings of loss of leaving someone, and a life, that you poured your heart and soul into. And ... maybe ... if we have just tried "that", or if he or she had done "that" ... that it could have worked. And then there’s the chaotic thoughts in our head trying to see into the future to predict ... What are they going to do next? (more…)

 

Going no contact with a narcissist, and holding it, is excruciatingly difficult.

Firstly, there are the terrible feelings of loss of leaving someone, and a life, that you poured your heart and soul into.

And … maybe … if we have just tried “that”, or if he or she had done “that” … that it could have worked.

And then there’s the chaotic thoughts in our head trying to see into the future to predict …

What are they going to do next?

How To Beat A Narcissist Without Needing To Expose Them Or Make Them Admit They Are Wrong

Written by   Melanie Tonia Evans
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Written by   Melanie Tonia Evans
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  Narcissists trigger us into more things than just despair and feeling powerless. We feel mad, violated, taken as a fool, manipulated and lied to. In fact, there are very few things that make people as angry and devastated as feeling deceived and betrayed. Of course, we want to stop their terrible behavior, yet the ways we try to stop them hurting us are often the exact ways that hand them more bullets to shoot us down with. So … in this video, today, I am going to teach you how to beat the narcissist at their own game without needing to expose them or make them wrong. And the irony is, you will expose them and you will make them wrong – but that is NOT what you are initially setting out to do! (more…)

 

Narcissists trigger us into more things than just despair and feeling powerless.

We feel mad, violated, taken as a fool, manipulated and lied to. In fact, there are very few things that make people as angry and devastated as feeling deceived and betrayed.

Of course, we want to stop their terrible behavior, yet the ways we try to stop them hurting us are often the exact ways that hand them more bullets to shoot us down with.

So … in this video, today, I am going to teach you how to beat the narcissist at their own game without needing to expose them or make them wrong.

And the irony is, you will expose them and you will make them wrong – but that is NOT what you are initially setting out to do!

My Most Debilitating Narcissistic Abuse Hook (And How I Healed From It)

Written by   Melanie Tonia Evans
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Written by   Melanie Tonia Evans
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  A lot of people believe I am self-assured, confident and have created a great life, and that is very true. After my Thriver Recovery from narcissistic abuse, I am blessed to be living a life that at one point I would have considered an impossibility. But this wasn't always the case ... What I am going to share with your today, is information that I have never shared with this Community before. I believe this, not only is this healthy for me to be authentic with you about, it may also help free you from shame and pain as well. So ... today I'm going to share something about my past, a dirty secret that I was once terribly ashamed of. (more…)

 

A lot of people believe I am self-assured, confident and have created a great life, and that is very true. After my Thriver Recovery from narcissistic abuse, I am blessed to be living a life that at one point I would have considered an impossibility.

But this wasn’t always the case …

What I am going to share with your today, is information that I have never shared with this Community before.

I believe this, not only is this healthy for me to be authentic with you about, it may also help free you from shame and pain as well.

So … today I’m going to share something about my past, a dirty secret that I was once terribly ashamed of.

How To Heal The Wounds From Narcissistic Mothers

Written by   Melanie Tonia Evans
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Written by   Melanie Tonia Evans
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  In this Thriver TV episode today, I want to deeply acknowledge with you the devastating effects of Mother wounds, and the trauma this has caused for so many of you in this Community. What does it mean for you if your Mother did not fulfill what a stereotypical Mother does, such as care, nurture, and support? How does this affect your ability to feel whole, worthy and confident in Life? And what is it like to still be caught up in the battle of feeling like no matter what you do it is never good enough? Or to still feel like you are receiving abuse, neglect, or being scapegoated for her issues that she is not taking responsibility for? (more…)

 

In this Thriver TV episode today, I want to deeply acknowledge with you the devastating effects of Mother wounds, and the trauma this has caused for so many of you in this Community.

What does it mean for you if your Mother did not fulfill what a stereotypical Mother does, such as care, nurture, and support?

How does this affect your ability to feel whole, worthy and confident in Life?

And what is it like to still be caught up in the battle of feeling like no matter what you do it is never good enough? Or to still feel like you are receiving abuse, neglect, or being scapegoated for her issues that she is not taking responsibility for?

The 5 Ways A Narcissist Gets Under Your Skin

Written by   Melanie Tonia Evans
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Written by   Melanie Tonia Evans
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  Narcissists get under our skin – absolutely. They infiltrate your psyche, your emotions and your soul. Last week I talked about “Wetiko” the human psychic virus, and this week I want to take this a step further and talk with you about what happens when a narcissist (a horrible manifestation of the Wetiko virus) has infiltrated us. It is a phenomenon, because how does one one human being affect another human being so profoundly to the point where you can barely operate? In this Thriver TV episode I am going to explain to you the exact five ways that narcissists get into our Inner Being. (more…)

 

Narcissists get under our skin – absolutely. They infiltrate your psyche, your emotions and your soul.

Last week I talked about “Wetiko” the human psychic virus, and this week I want to take this a step further and talk with you about what happens when a narcissist (a horrible manifestation of the Wetiko virus) has infiltrated us.

It is a phenomenon, because how does one one human being affect another human being so profoundly to the point where you can barely operate?

In this Thriver TV episode I am going to explain to you the exact five ways that narcissists get into our Inner Being.

Emotional Blackmail – The Devastating Weapon A Narcissist Uses To Betray You

Written by   Melanie Tonia Evans
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Written by   Melanie Tonia Evans
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  Today's episode is about a tragic situation you may have, or may still be dealing with, as a result of getting involved with a narcissist ... When they turn the tables and use your sensitive information against you. At first we did not realize that a narcissist is like the CIA building a dossier of information on us. We simply thought their attentiveness and attention was about genuine affection ... but the truth is it was about something much more sinister. (more…)

 

Today’s episode is about a tragic situation you may have, or may still be dealing with, as a result of getting involved with a narcissist …

When they turn the tables and use your sensitive information against you.

At first we did not realize that a narcissist is like the CIA building a dossier of information on us.

We simply thought their attentiveness and attention was about genuine affection … but the truth is it was about something much more sinister.

What To Do When A Narcissist Swiftly Replaces You And Flaunts Their New Supply

Written by   Melanie Tonia Evans
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Written by   Melanie Tonia Evans
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  Is there any more soul crushing and punishing thing in our life than to be replaced with another love partner? Possibly not. And how horrifying is it to see the evidence of the narcissist and their new lover plastered all over social media enjoying a wonderful loved up time, whilst we can barely get out of bed, let alone function normally. If we have been discarded and replaced in a heartbeat, and the narcissist is cruelly rubbing our nose in it, the trauma may be so horrific that we feel like we want to literally die. (more…)

 

Is there any more soul crushing and punishing thing in our life than to be replaced with another love partner?

Possibly not.

And how horrifying is it to see the evidence of the narcissist and their new lover plastered all over social media enjoying a wonderful loved up time, whilst we can barely get out of bed, let alone function normally.

If we have been discarded and replaced in a heartbeat, and the narcissist is cruelly rubbing our nose in it, the trauma may be so horrific that we feel like we want to literally die.

What To Do When The Narcissist Infiltrates Your Dreams

Written by   Melanie Tonia Evans
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Written by   Melanie Tonia Evans
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  One of the most disturbing things about narcissistic abuse is that it often comes after you, even as you sleep. Just when you think you can get some relief from the aching torment of your waking life, the trauma insidiously finds its way into your dreams. Giving you nightmares. And they are horrible ones ... filled with big emotional content, charges and trauma. What do they mean? In this episode I want to share with you what they mean, as well as how to heal yourself to a level where you simply will not experience these awful narcissistic dreams anymore. (more…)

 

One of the most disturbing things about narcissistic abuse is that it often comes after you, even as you sleep.

Just when you think you can get some relief from the aching torment of your waking life, the trauma insidiously finds its way into your dreams.

Giving you nightmares.

And they are horrible ones … filled with big emotional content, charges and trauma.

What do they mean?

In this episode I want to share with you what they mean, as well as how to heal yourself to a level where you simply will not experience these awful narcissistic dreams anymore.