Melanie Tonia Evans

Why I No Longer Get Triggered By Narcissists

Written by   Melanie Tonia Evans
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Written by   Melanie Tonia Evans
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  Being triggered by narcissists is excruciatingly painful. And … the narcissist doesn’t even have to be in your life. It can be the horror of a bomb going off inside you when you see something that reminds you of them. Or, talking to someone about what you've been through. And, of course, there is the threat that you could bump into the narcissist, or heaven forbid come up against another narcissist in your life somewhere in the future. (more…)

 

Being triggered by narcissists is excruciatingly painful.

And … the narcissist doesn’t even have to be in your life.

It can be the horror of a bomb going off inside you when you see something that reminds you of them.

Or, talking to someone about what you’ve been through.

And, of course, there is the threat that you could bump into the narcissist, or heaven forbid come up against another narcissist in your life somewhere in the future.

Losing Your Best Years To Narcissistic Abuse

Written by   Melanie Tonia Evans
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Written by   Melanie Tonia Evans
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  It's nothing short of devastating to end a relationship with a narcissist and feel like your "best years" are behind you. I truly can’t tell you how often people have shared with me the terrible trauma of losing the best years of their life to a narcissist. Things like: “I gave up my career to support the narcissist and now its too late for me to reclaim those years and opportunities” ... and … “The narcissist dangled the possibility of children constantly, and now I’m too old to have them” … and …. (more…)

 

It’s nothing short of devastating to end a relationship with a narcissist and feel like your “best years” are behind you.

I truly can’t tell you how often people have shared with me the terrible trauma of losing the best years of their life to a narcissist.

Things like:

“I gave up my career to support the narcissist and now its too late for me to reclaim those years and opportunities” … and …

“The narcissist dangled the possibility of children constantly, and now I’m too old to have them” … and ….

The Soul War With A Narcissist

Written by   Melanie Tonia Evans
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Written by   Melanie Tonia Evans
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  Are you being haunted by terrible nightmares about the narcissist? Do you feel like he or she is crawling under your skin? Do you find it almost impossible to stop thinking about this person? Are you experiencing flashbacks and triggers going off all the time, making it nearly impossible to be out and about in everyday life because you don’t know when you will feel the next meltdown coming on? Do you feel like there is a hose stuck into you, sucking your literal life-force out to the level where you feel so exhausted, shaky, numb and foggy that you barely have the energy or the concentration to do even the most basic of tasks? (more…)

 

Are you being haunted by terrible nightmares about the narcissist?

Do you feel like he or she is crawling under your skin?

Do you find it almost impossible to stop thinking about this person?

Are you experiencing flashbacks and triggers going off all the time, making it nearly impossible to be out and about in everyday life because you don’t know when you will feel the next meltdown coming on?

Do you feel like there is a hose stuck into you, sucking your literal life-force out to the level where you feel so exhausted, shaky, numb and foggy that you barely have the energy or the concentration to do even the most basic of tasks?

How To Find Closure When A Narcissist Discards You

Written by   Melanie Tonia Evans
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Written by   Melanie Tonia Evans
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  Is there anything more painful than being discarded? Have you felt, or are you feeling that TERRIBLE feeling … when you are curled up in the corner after being deserted by someone you believed loved you … thinking this: “I am NOT wanted”? That’s painful enough in a normal relationship! And when we are discarded by a NARCISSIST, the trauma is amplified significantly, because it is not their intention to let you get on with having a happy, healthy life after leaving you. (more…)

 

Is there anything more painful than being discarded?

Have you felt, or are you feeling that TERRIBLE feeling … when you are curled up in the corner after being deserted by someone you believed loved you … thinking this:

“I am NOT wanted”?

That’s painful enough in a normal relationship! And when we are discarded by a NARCISSIST, the trauma is amplified significantly, because it is not their intention to let you get on with having a happy, healthy life after leaving you.

How To Stop A Narcissist From Hurting You

Written by   Melanie Tonia Evans
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Written by   Melanie Tonia Evans
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  I know all too well how difficult it can be to go through a tirade of narcissistic punishment. When the narcissist's mask drops, it's like being in the middle of your own horror story with the exits closed. You are face to face with brutal verbal, emotional, and maybe even physical punishment. Your head is spinning, and you can barely breathe, with the threats, words and actions that are happening which are so cruel and vicious. (more…)

 

I know all too well how difficult it can be to go through a tirade of narcissistic punishment.

When the narcissist’s mask drops, it’s like being in the middle of your own horror story with the exits closed.

You are face to face with brutal verbal, emotional, and maybe even physical punishment.

Your head is spinning, and you can barely breathe, with the threats, words and actions that are happening which are so cruel and vicious.

Financial Abuse – Rebuilding Your Life After Narcissism

Written by   Melanie Tonia Evans
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Written by   Melanie Tonia Evans
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  Sadly, narcissistic abuse doesn’t only come with psychological, emotional and spiritual torment. One of the most devastating things is the almost inevitable financial abuse.  Financial abuse is one of the most widespread devastations in this community – so many people are stripped of the resources they have worked hard all their life for. If you are going through it right now, please know you are certainly not alone. Today’s Thriver TV episode is all about how why we fall into financial dependencies and traps with narcissists – and how you can heal from this, let go of the shame and restart your life, regardless of your age or current situation. (more…)

 

Sadly, narcissistic abuse doesn’t only come with psychological, emotional and spiritual torment. One of the most devastating things is the almost inevitable financial abuse. 

Financial abuse is one of the most widespread devastations in this community – so many people are stripped of the resources they have worked hard all their life for.

If you are going through it right now, please know you are certainly not alone.

Today’s Thriver TV episode is all about how why we fall into financial dependencies and traps with narcissists – and how you can heal from this, let go of the shame and restart your life, regardless of your age or current situation.

Why Narcissists Use Silent Treatment

Written by   Melanie Tonia Evans
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Written by   Melanie Tonia Evans
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  Narcissistic silent treatment is something that virtually every narcissist delivers skilfully. Ironically it’s the horrible blow that they themselves are terrified of - being rendered invalid, invisible and totally redundant. We all know what it is to ignore or be ignored – we may have snubbed someone at sometime in our life, or we may have been given the “cold shoulder” ourselves. We all clearly know silent treatment means this: “I disapprove of you or something you’ve done”. (more…)

 

Narcissistic silent treatment is something that virtually every narcissist delivers skilfully. Ironically it’s the horrible blow that they themselves are terrified of – being rendered invalid, invisible and totally redundant. We all know what it is to ignore or be ignored – we may have snubbed someone at sometime in our life, or we may have been given the “cold shoulder” ourselves. We all clearly know silent treatment means this: “I disapprove of you or something you’ve done”.

How To Forgive Yourself For Falling For A Narcissist: Love After Abuse Series

Written by   Melanie Tonia Evans
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Written by   Melanie Tonia Evans
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  One of the hardest things about recovering from narcissistic abuse is that we have to reconcile with the fact that we put so much of our time, love and resources into someone who wasn’t even real. You may be carrying a lot of shame about the fact that your life is now in a far worse state, as a result of the relationship. And worse yet, you may have lost total faith in yourself for making the decisions you did in the past. I want you to understand this, right from the onset, often even more than having to forgive the narcissist – we have to forgive ourselves. And the irony is: unless we forgive ourselves we can’t forgive and be released from any of this, and we can’t forgive the process and what happened to us. (more…)

 

One of the hardest things about recovering from narcissistic abuse is that we have to reconcile with the fact that we put so much of our time, love and resources into someone who wasn’t even real.

You may be carrying a lot of shame about the fact that your life is now in a far worse state, as a result of the relationship.

And worse yet, you may have lost total faith in yourself for making the decisions you did in the past.

I want you to understand this, right from the onset, often even more than having to forgive the narcissist – we have to forgive ourselves. And the irony is: unless we forgive ourselves we can’t forgive and be released from any of this, and we can’t forgive the process and what happened to us.

Narcissistic Fathers – Healing Yourself And Protecting Your Children From A Toxic Upbringing

Written by   Melanie Tonia Evans
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Written by   Melanie Tonia Evans
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  The destruction of narcissistic fathers is far-reaching and is a problem that is truly plaguing our world. Many of you may have experienced that, with a narcissistic father, your boundaries weren't able to develop – because you didn’t have any. It is also likely that, no matter what you ever did, it wasn’t enough to earn his love or approval ... and ... when you were in need of care, love or advice, the conversations became all about him, about his problems, blaming you or telling you what you were or weren’t doing to make him happy. (more…)

 

The destruction of narcissistic fathers is far-reaching and is a problem that is truly plaguing our world.

Many of you may have experienced that, with a narcissistic father, your boundaries weren’t able to develop – because you didn’t have any.

It is also likely that, no matter what you ever did, it wasn’t enough to earn his love or approval … and … when you were in need of care, love or advice, the conversations became all about him, about his problems, blaming you or telling you what you were or weren’t doing to make him happy.

7 Things Narcissists Do When You Go No Contact

Written by   Melanie Tonia Evans
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Written by   Melanie Tonia Evans
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  Going no contact with a narcissist, and holding it, is excruciatingly difficult. Firstly, there are the terrible feelings of loss of leaving someone, and a life, that you poured your heart and soul into. And ... maybe ... if we have just tried "that", or if he or she had done "that" ... that it could have worked. And then there’s the chaotic thoughts in our head trying to see into the future to predict ... What are they going to do next? (more…)

 

Going no contact with a narcissist, and holding it, is excruciatingly difficult.

Firstly, there are the terrible feelings of loss of leaving someone, and a life, that you poured your heart and soul into.

And … maybe … if we have just tried “that”, or if he or she had done “that” … that it could have worked.

And then there’s the chaotic thoughts in our head trying to see into the future to predict …

What are they going to do next?