Melanie Tonia Evans

How To Spot A Spiritual Narcissist

Written by   Melanie Tonia Evans
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Written by   Melanie Tonia Evans
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  Spiritual narcissism is one of the most confusing, insidious and dangerous types of narcissistic abuse. Gosh, even I fell for it twice! Narcissists gravitate towards areas where A-grade narcissistic supply is easy to obtain; frighteningly, many of them realise how being in a position of authority, via spirituality or religion, is the perfect way to be above reproach and have a free ticket to mine people for acclaim, attention, and resources. Even if you haven't encountered a spiritual narcissist before, they can be incredibly difficult to read, as well as incredibly alluring. And naturally, this can be a big trap after your first narcissistic abuse experience, when you want to seek out people who are more spiritually connected and conscious. (more…)

 

Spiritual narcissism is one of the most confusing, insidious and dangerous types of narcissistic abuse.

Gosh, even I fell for it twice!

Narcissists gravitate towards areas where A-grade narcissistic supply is easy to obtain; frighteningly, many of them realise how being in a position of authority, via spirituality or religion, is the perfect way to be above reproach and have a free ticket to mine people for acclaim, attention, and resources.

Even if you haven’t encountered a spiritual narcissist before, they can be incredibly difficult to read, as well as incredibly alluring.

And naturally, this can be a big trap after your first narcissistic abuse experience, when you want to seek out people who are more spiritually connected and conscious.

Narcissist Or Addict… Can They Ever Change?

Written by   Melanie Tonia Evans
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Written by   Melanie Tonia Evans
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  I know how painful it is to be caught up in someone’s addictions – suffering the anguish of the invalidation of your needs, safety, love requirements and security – as well as seeing this person destroying themselves and others. Of course, you hope that you can help them overcome the addiction, so that you and they can be happy and have a fulfilling relationship – whether it be your lover, spouse, child, relative or friend. But how do we even know if this person is capable of ‘becoming decent’ even if they lose their addiction? And why is it, in trying to help this person, often we just get sicker and sicker and they don’t stop doing the things that are ripping our life, as well as theirs, apart? In today’s Thriver TV episode we take a deep dive into this very important question – ‘Is there any hope for this addict, or are they a narcissist how can’t...

 

I know how painful it is to be caught up in someone’s addictions – suffering the anguish of the invalidation of your needs, safety, love requirements and security – as well as seeing this person destroying themselves and others.

Of course, you hope that you can help them overcome the addiction, so that you and they can be happy and have a fulfilling relationship – whether it be your lover, spouse, child, relative or friend.

But how do we even know if this person is capable of ‘becoming decent’ even if they lose their addiction?

And why is it, in trying to help this person, often we just get sicker and sicker and they don’t stop doing the things that are ripping our life, as well as theirs, apart?

In today’s Thriver TV episode we take a deep dive into this very important question – ‘Is there any hope for this addict, or are they a narcissist how can’t be healthy – addictions or not?’

Why Do Narcissists Vanish And Do They Ever Come Back?

Written by   Melanie Tonia Evans
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Written by   Melanie Tonia Evans
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  I know how devastating it is to have someone vanish from your life without warning. Without any explanation, you are left agonising over what might have been the reason for them to just get up and disappear from your life. Before being able to break free from my terrible relationship with narcissist number 2, who was constantly 'leaving me', these were questions I used to constantly ask myself ... Why is he suddenly declaring 'we have to break up' when only a day earlier he professed that he can't live without me? Is he having an affair or trying to hide something he doesn’t want me to know about? (more…)

 

I know how devastating it is to have someone vanish from your life without warning.

Without any explanation, you are left agonising over what might have been the reason for them to just get up and disappear from your life.

Before being able to break free from my terrible relationship with narcissist number 2, who was constantly ‘leaving me’, these were questions I used to constantly ask myself …

Why is he suddenly declaring ‘we have to break up’ when only a day earlier he professed that he can’t live without me?

Is he having an affair or trying to hide something he doesn’t want me to know about?

How To Inoculate Yourself Against Somatic Narcissists

Written by   Melanie Tonia Evans
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Written by   Melanie Tonia Evans
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  You may not realise it but somatic narcissists trigger your DNA chemically in a significant way. Unconsciously, women are innately drawn to the strong hunter-gatherer with broad shoulders, just as men are attracted to women with superior procreation potential. And when a somatic narcissist uses irresistible good looks to their advantage, coupled with excessive charm … it’s very easy to go weak at the knees! Somatic narcissists are dangerous because although they may not seem as “evil” as their cerebral counterparts, they have a very real ability to suck your energy, resources, and livelihood dry with their excessive entitlement and constant need for attention. (more…)

 

You may not realise it but somatic narcissists trigger your DNA chemically in a significant way.

Unconsciously, women are innately drawn to the strong hunter-gatherer with broad shoulders, just as men are attracted to women with superior procreation potential.

And when a somatic narcissist uses irresistible good looks to their advantage, coupled with excessive charm … it’s very easy to go weak at the knees!

Somatic narcissists are dangerous because although they may not seem as “evil” as their cerebral counterparts, they have a very real ability to suck your energy, resources, and livelihood dry with their excessive entitlement and constant need for attention.

5 Steps To Dealing With Narcissists In Difficult Situations

Written by   Melanie Tonia Evans
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Written by   Melanie Tonia Evans
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  Trying to deal with a narcissist, challenges every fiber of your Being. If you've tried to manage a narcissist in a difficult situation, you know you're triggered beyond the point of ridiculous - struggling to be heard and unable to create sense out of the madness. All whilst the narcissist dances around you tearing up your efforts, emotions, and sanity. By this stage, you've tragically discovered the normal rules of human engagement don’t apply – rather it's all about the narcissist doing whatever is necessary for them to get their own way. So how CAN you deal with someone who has NO INTENTION of complying, playing team or doing the right thing? (more…)

 

Trying to deal with a narcissist, challenges every fiber of your Being.

If you’ve tried to manage a narcissist in a difficult situation, you know you’re triggered beyond the point of ridiculous – struggling to be heard and unable to create sense out of the madness.

All whilst the narcissist dances around you tearing up your efforts, emotions, and sanity.

By this stage, you’ve tragically discovered the normal rules of human engagement don’t apply – rather it’s all about the narcissist doing whatever is necessary for them to get their own way.

So how CAN you deal with someone who has NO INTENTION of complying, playing team or doing the right thing?

What Is The Fate Of A Narcissist?

Written by   Melanie Tonia Evans
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Written by   Melanie Tonia Evans
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  I know how shocking it feels to see a narcissist get away with it. Here you are traumatised, and shredded bare of your health, happiness, and resources ... and the narcissist is prancing off into the sunset with their brand new life as if you never existed. Naturally, it is beyond devastating to believe maybe there isn’t a compassionate Creator or a healthy natural order of things. Are we really in an upside-down universe, where bad people and bad behaviour are rewarded and it’s the good people who get hurt and destroyed? Do narcissists get to live out the rest of their days, destroying lives, without ever being rebuked or karma serving them their just deserts? (more…)

 

I know how shocking it feels to see a narcissist get away with it.

Here you are traumatised, and shredded bare of your health, happiness, and resources … and the narcissist is prancing off into the sunset with their brand new life as if you never existed.

Naturally, it is beyond devastating to believe maybe there isn’t a compassionate Creator or a healthy natural order of things.

Are we really in an upside-down universe, where bad people and bad behaviour are rewarded and it’s the good people who get hurt and destroyed?

Do narcissists get to live out the rest of their days, destroying lives, without ever being rebuked or karma serving them their just deserts?

How Covert Narcissist Lure Empaths As Their Victims

Written by   Melanie Tonia Evans
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Written by   Melanie Tonia Evans
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  Covert narcissists are amongst the sneakiest, most dangerous narcissists of all because they operate like stealth bombers. You know something is wrong with the way they behave and how you feel – but you just can’t quite put your finger on it. Being connected with a covert narcissist is no less than experiencing psychological warfare, as you find yourself being turned in circles – and knots – eventually barely even knowing what is UP or DOWN. If you are in a relationship with a covert narcissist, it would be usual for you to feel incredibly unsafe and on edge, and to start checking up, investigating him or her, and feeling like you are losing your mind. (more…)

 

Covert narcissists are amongst the sneakiest, most dangerous narcissists of all because they operate like stealth bombers.

You know something is wrong with the way they behave and how you feel – but you just can’t quite put your finger on it.

Being connected with a covert narcissist is no less than experiencing psychological warfare, as you find yourself being turned in circles – and knots – eventually barely even knowing what is UP or DOWN.

If you are in a relationship with a covert narcissist, it would be usual for you to feel incredibly unsafe and on edge, and to start checking up, investigating him or her, and feeling like you are losing your mind.

How To Be Hoover Proof This Valentine’s Day

Written by   Melanie Tonia Evans
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Written by   Melanie Tonia Evans
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  Valentine’s Day can be a very traumatic and painful time for many people in this community. From my experience, it's a narcissist's favourite time to hoover. And naturally, if we are still reeling in the pain and confusion of being originally adored, and then devalued and discarded, we may hope we'll be able to resist a narcissistic hoover attempt. But can we? It is SO much easier said than done! And then there is another potentially painful situation, which is: you may not receive contact from the narcissist this Valentine’s Day at all. And, until healed from your inner trauma, this may feel devastating. (more…)

 

Valentine’s Day can be a very traumatic and painful time for many people in this community.

From my experience, it’s a narcissist’s favourite time to hoover.

And naturally, if we are still reeling in the pain and confusion of being originally adored, and then devalued and discarded, we may hope we’ll be able to resist a narcissistic hoover attempt.

But can we?

It is SO much easier said than done!

And then there is another potentially painful situation, which is: you may not receive contact from the narcissist this Valentine’s Day at all. And, until healed from your inner trauma, this may feel devastating.

6 Sneaky Tactics Narcissists Use At Christmas

Written by   Melanie Tonia Evans
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Written by   Melanie Tonia Evans
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  It’s so important to be prepared for the narcissist’s bag of tricks at Christmas time because traditionally this is a ‘hot-spot’ time when narcissists cause untold trauma to many. If you’ve been in a narcissistic relationship for some time you will probably have a great deal of trepidation, remembering just how horrible the narcissist made Christmas for you last year. Or maybe you haven’t experienced a painful narcissistic Christmas yet, and this may be one where you will need to be prepared. It can be so awful to experience all the ways that narcissists act out when Christmas threatens to upstage them, and there are a few specific things which narcissists do which are Universal, to try to bring every else’s good Christmas cheer down. (more…)

 

It’s so important to be prepared for the narcissist’s bag of tricks at Christmas time because traditionally this is a ‘hot-spot’ time when narcissists cause untold trauma to many.

If you’ve been in a narcissistic relationship for some time you will probably have a great deal of trepidation, remembering just how horrible the narcissist made Christmas for you last year. Or maybe you haven’t experienced a painful narcissistic Christmas yet, and this may be one where you will need to be prepared.

It can be so awful to experience all the ways that narcissists act out when Christmas threatens to upstage them, and there are a few specific things which narcissists do which are Universal, to try to bring every else’s good Christmas cheer down.

Why Narcissists Prey On Intelligent People

Written by   Melanie Tonia Evans
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Written by   Melanie Tonia Evans
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  Have you ever wondered how you can be capable in so many areas, yet for some reason narcissists are able to hook and deceive you? Have you ever berated yourself for not being able to see it coming? If you’re anything like me I used to constantly tell myself “I know this person is tearing me to shreds, I know I need to go … and I’m smart, I know everything about who they are and what they are doing but why can’t I leave?” The truth is you’re not alone … this is the plight of intelligent people regularly. (more…)

 

Have you ever wondered how you can be capable in so many areas, yet for some reason narcissists are able to hook and deceive you?

Have you ever berated yourself for not being able to see it coming?

If you’re anything like me I used to constantly tell myself “I know this person is tearing me to shreds, I know I need to go … and I’m smart, I know everything about who they are and what they are doing but why can’t I leave?”

The truth is you’re not alone … this is the plight of intelligent people regularly.