Melanie Tonia Evans

Why Are Narcissists So Entitled?

Written by   Melanie Tonia Evans
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Written by   Melanie Tonia Evans
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  If you’ve been in a close relationship with a narcissist you will have experienced the heartbreak and horror or realising it is ALL about him and her. The narcissist's demands (that must be met) are unreasonable and even unliveable. The invasions into your life, things, thoughts, and even your emotions are incredibly violating. The narcissist seems to truly believe that they are unique and special, and they need to be treated as such. (more…)

 

If you’ve been in a close relationship with a narcissist you will have experienced the heartbreak and horror or realising it is ALL about him and her.

The narcissist’s demands (that must be met) are unreasonable and even unliveable.

The invasions into your life, things, thoughts, and even your emotions are incredibly violating.

The narcissist seems to truly believe that they are unique and special, and they need to be treated as such.

What Makes A Somatic Narcissist, Why We Attract Them, And How To Heal This Toxic Connection

Written by   Melanie Tonia Evans
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Written by   Melanie Tonia Evans
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  A few weeks I talked to you about The Dangers Of The Cerebral Narcissist And How To Avoid Them and many people have written in to ask about the somatic narcissist, who they are, and what to look out for regarding them. I decided I’d like to share with you essential information about somatic narcissists. Most narcissistic experts believe that there are two type of narcissists – the cerebral type who acquires narcissistic supply primarily with their brain, and the somatic narcissist who seeks attention and significance through their physicality. What I really believe is that this generalisation is not entirely accurate, because narcissists can shift from one to the other, although it can be argued that predominately a narcissist may be cerebral or somatic. (more…)

 

A few weeks I talked to you about The Dangers Of The Cerebral Narcissist And How To Avoid Them and many people have written in to ask about the somatic narcissist, who they are, and what to look out for regarding them.

I decided I’d like to share with you essential information about somatic narcissists.

Most narcissistic experts believe that there are two type of narcissists – the cerebral type who acquires narcissistic supply primarily with their brain, and the somatic narcissist who seeks attention and significance through their physicality.

What I really believe is that this generalisation is not entirely accurate, because narcissists can shift from one to the other, although it can be argued that predominately a narcissist may be cerebral or somatic.

Why Do Narcissists Pathologically Lie?

Written by   Melanie Tonia Evans
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Written by   Melanie Tonia Evans
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  Why do narcissists lie? Why do they struggle to tell the truth? Why do they often lie even when there is no apparent reason for them to lie? Of course we may think it is to manipulate and twist and turn people and abuse them – to deceive and purposefully confuse others and hurt them … but is it? Is there something deeper going on as to why lying is such an ingrained personality disorder for narcissists? When you experience the trauma of continual lies, you may begin to question everything including your own sanity. You don’t know what is true or false anymore and things get so crazy that you start to question if the narcissist even knows the difference. (more…)

 

Why do narcissists lie? Why do they struggle to tell the truth? Why do they often lie even when there is no apparent reason for them to lie?

Of course we may think it is to manipulate and twist and turn people and abuse them – to deceive and purposefully confuse others and hurt them … but is it?

Is there something deeper going on as to why lying is such an ingrained personality disorder for narcissists?

When you experience the trauma of continual lies, you may begin to question everything including your own sanity. You don’t know what is true or false anymore and things get so crazy that you start to question if the narcissist even knows the difference.

The Dangers Of The Cerebral Narcissist And How To Avoid Them

Written by   Melanie Tonia Evans
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Written by   Melanie Tonia Evans
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  Today I want to talk to you about cerebral narcissists – the high-functioning variety. In many ways an intelligent, successful, high-functioning narcissist may be among the most dangerous of all, because they are hard to detect. This person may literally hide their personality disorder, from the world at large, for their entire life. A high-functioning cerebral narcissist is very, very skilled at fitting in, getting people to like them, trust them, follow their orders and admire them. They are energetic, purpose drive and highly articulate and they are often in high positions of power. (more…)

 

Today I want to talk to you about cerebral narcissists – the high-functioning variety.

In many ways an intelligent, successful, high-functioning narcissist may be among the most dangerous of all, because they are hard to detect.

This person may literally hide their personality disorder, from the world at large, for their entire life.

A high-functioning cerebral narcissist is very, very skilled at fitting in, getting people to like them, trust them, follow their orders and admire them. They are energetic, purpose drive and highly articulate and they are often in high positions of power.

Why Narcissists Are So Cruel To You But Kind To Everyone Else

Written by   Melanie Tonia Evans
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Written by   Melanie Tonia Evans
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  When you start trying to explain the behaviour of a narcissist to someone else, they will more often than not counter your words by saying … “But he is such a great guy!” You can see them thinking … “Why is she so ungrateful?” And of course many people outside of the family home love the narcissistic woman because she is so accommodating, hospitable and charming and is always there to help anyone in need. But, we know this is SO not our experience of them! (more…)

 

When you start trying to explain the behaviour of a narcissist to someone else, they will more often than not counter your words by saying …

“But he is such a great guy!”

You can see them thinking … “Why is she so ungrateful?”

And of course many people outside of the family home love the narcissistic woman because she is so accommodating, hospitable and charming and is always there to help anyone in need.

But, we know this is SO not our experience of them!

Flying Monkeys – The Minions Narcissists Use To Do Their Bidding

Written by   Melanie Tonia Evans
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Written by   Melanie Tonia Evans
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  Flying Monkeys is an expression that most people in narcissistic abuse communities know about. It’s used to describe the people who the narcissist convinces to do their bidding. Abuse by proxy (using other people to abuse us) is a such a common occurrence with narcissistic abuse, and in this episode I’m going to explain to you how to completely eradicate Flying Monkeys from your life – just as myself and thousands of other Thrivers have done. Because I know how awful it is to not only be dealing with the heartbreak and terror of what a narcissist is capable of doing to you … but to also have a minion of people hounding you and trying to bring you down is horrific. (more…)

 

Flying Monkeys is an expression that most people in narcissistic abuse communities know about.

It’s used to describe the people who the narcissist convinces to do their bidding.

Abuse by proxy (using other people to abuse us) is a such a common occurrence with narcissistic abuse, and in this episode I’m going to explain to you how to completely eradicate Flying Monkeys from your life – just as myself and thousands of other Thrivers have done.

Because I know how awful it is to not only be dealing with the heartbreak and terror of what a narcissist is capable of doing to you … but to also have a minion of people hounding you and trying to bring you down is horrific.

Why Do Narcissists Need To Manipulate?

Written by   Melanie Tonia Evans
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Written by   Melanie Tonia Evans
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  Being with a narcissist is maddening … it feels crazy as we watch them manipulating with constant lies and twists and turns. We may feel like we are trying to preach to a child … “Why don’t you just be honest with people?” And in relation to the ways the narcissist treats us … we wring our hands in despair with, “Rather than play dirty, why don’t you just ask for what you want honestly?” Why on earth do they do what they do? Why do virtually all narcissists use the same manipulative tactics? (more…)

 

Being with a narcissist is maddening … it feels crazy as we watch them manipulating with constant lies and twists and turns.

We may feel like we are trying to preach to a child … “Why don’t you just be honest with people?”

And in relation to the ways the narcissist treats us … we wring our hands in despair with, “Rather than play dirty, why don’t you just ask for what you want honestly?”

Why on earth do they do what they do?

Why do virtually all narcissists use the same manipulative tactics?

Gaslighting – How A Narcissist Destroys You By Eroding Your Sanity

Written by   Melanie Tonia Evans
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Written by   Melanie Tonia Evans
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  “Gaslighting” is an expression that many people in narcissistic abuse circles have heard. The term owes its origin to a 1938 play “Gas Light” and its 1944 film adaptation. It’s the insidious way narcissists get us to doubt our own sanity, and cause us to be twisted and turned into not knowing what is real or not real. Gaslighting is about untruths, or at the very least stretching facts. It is about punishing people and fabricating information to suit one’s own agenda. It is about confusing you, stripping your power and getting you to distrust yourself. (more…)

 

“Gaslighting” is an expression that many people in narcissistic abuse circles have heard.

The term owes its origin to a 1938 play “Gas Light” and its 1944 film adaptation.

It’s the insidious way narcissists get us to doubt our own sanity, and cause us to be twisted and turned into not knowing what is real or not real.

Gaslighting is about untruths, or at the very least stretching facts. It is about punishing people and fabricating information to suit one’s own agenda.

It is about confusing you, stripping your power and getting you to distrust yourself.

5 Steps To Ignoring A Narcissist Who Tries To Punish You

Written by   Melanie Tonia Evans
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Written by   Melanie Tonia Evans
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  Ignoring a narcissist is critical – it is a skill that will save your life. And there is no time that ignoring a narcissist is more important than when a narcissist tries to punish you. Narcissists love to get your reaction. And as soon as they do, you are handing power away. This is how narcissists “prosper” – they like to know that they have infiltrated your thoughts, heart, mind and soul to the point where they are everything to you – front and center, sideways, up and down and inside and out. That is what it feels like when a narcissist gets their tentacles into you … like everything you used to think is tipped upside down and turned on its head. (more…)

 

Ignoring a narcissist is critical – it is a skill that will save your life. And there is no time that ignoring a narcissist is more important than when a narcissist tries to punish you.

Narcissists love to get your reaction. And as soon as they do, you are handing power away.

This is how narcissists “prosper” – they like to know that they have infiltrated your thoughts, heart, mind and soul to the point where they are everything to you – front and center, sideways, up and down and inside and out.

That is what it feels like when a narcissist gets their tentacles into you … like everything you used to think is tipped upside down and turned on its head.

Why Grey Rock Alone Won’t Keep You Safe From Narcissists

Written by   Melanie Tonia Evans
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Written by   Melanie Tonia Evans
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  If you have asked for help on the internet or read articles on how to deal with a narcissist, chances are you have heard of the The Grey Rock Method. If you haven't heard of it, the Grey Rock Method involves switching off, showing no emotion and providing nothing that attracts a narcissist into granting energy back – by us becoming so boring and lifeless to the narcissist that they simply don't see us as a source of supply any more. Using the Grey Rock method is intended to help us reach the biggest goal we have with a narcissist, which is to detach and get well … mentally, emotionally, physically and financially. But often detaching and offering up “no energy”, to cut off narcissistic supply to narcissist, isn’t enough for us to get there … (more…)

 

If you have asked for help on the internet or read articles on how to deal with a narcissist, chances are you have heard of the The Grey Rock Method.

If you haven’t heard of it, the Grey Rock Method involves switching off, showing no emotion and providing nothing that attracts a narcissist into granting energy back – by us becoming so boring and lifeless to the narcissist that they simply don’t see us as a source of supply any more.

Using the Grey Rock method is intended to help us reach the biggest goal we have with a narcissist, which is to detach and get well … mentally, emotionally, physically and financially.

But often detaching and offering up “no energy”, to cut off narcissistic supply to narcissist, isn’t enough for us to get there …