Melanie Tonia Evans

How Covert Narcissist Lure Empaths As Their Victims

Written by   Melanie Tonia Evans
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Written by   Melanie Tonia Evans
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  Covert narcissists are amongst the sneakiest, most dangerous narcissists of all because they operate like stealth bombers. You know something is wrong with the way they behave and how you feel – but you just can’t quite put your finger on it. Being connected with a covert narcissist is no less than experiencing psychological warfare, as you find yourself being turned in circles – and knots – eventually barely even knowing what is UP or DOWN. If you are in a relationship with a covert narcissist, it would be usual for you to feel incredibly unsafe and on edge, and to start checking up, investigating him or her, and feeling like you are losing your mind. (more…)

 

Covert narcissists are amongst the sneakiest, most dangerous narcissists of all because they operate like stealth bombers.

You know something is wrong with the way they behave and how you feel – but you just can’t quite put your finger on it.

Being connected with a covert narcissist is no less than experiencing psychological warfare, as you find yourself being turned in circles – and knots – eventually barely even knowing what is UP or DOWN.

If you are in a relationship with a covert narcissist, it would be usual for you to feel incredibly unsafe and on edge, and to start checking up, investigating him or her, and feeling like you are losing your mind.

How To Be Hoover Proof This Valentine’s Day

Written by   Melanie Tonia Evans
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Written by   Melanie Tonia Evans
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  Valentine’s Day can be a very traumatic and painful time for many people in this community. From my experience, it's a narcissist's favourite time to hoover. And naturally, if we are still reeling in the pain and confusion of being originally adored, and then devalued and discarded, we may hope we'll be able to resist a narcissistic hoover attempt. But can we? It is SO much easier said than done! And then there is another potentially painful situation, which is: you may not receive contact from the narcissist this Valentine’s Day at all. And, until healed from your inner trauma, this may feel devastating. (more…)

 

Valentine’s Day can be a very traumatic and painful time for many people in this community.

From my experience, it’s a narcissist’s favourite time to hoover.

And naturally, if we are still reeling in the pain and confusion of being originally adored, and then devalued and discarded, we may hope we’ll be able to resist a narcissistic hoover attempt.

But can we?

It is SO much easier said than done!

And then there is another potentially painful situation, which is: you may not receive contact from the narcissist this Valentine’s Day at all. And, until healed from your inner trauma, this may feel devastating.

6 Sneaky Tactics Narcissists Use At Christmas

Written by   Melanie Tonia Evans
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Written by   Melanie Tonia Evans
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  It’s so important to be prepared for the narcissist’s bag of tricks at Christmas time because traditionally this is a ‘hot-spot’ time when narcissists cause untold trauma to many. If you’ve been in a narcissistic relationship for some time you will probably have a great deal of trepidation, remembering just how horrible the narcissist made Christmas for you last year. Or maybe you haven’t experienced a painful narcissistic Christmas yet, and this may be one where you will need to be prepared. It can be so awful to experience all the ways that narcissists act out when Christmas threatens to upstage them, and there are a few specific things which narcissists do which are Universal, to try to bring every else’s good Christmas cheer down. (more…)

 

It’s so important to be prepared for the narcissist’s bag of tricks at Christmas time because traditionally this is a ‘hot-spot’ time when narcissists cause untold trauma to many.

If you’ve been in a narcissistic relationship for some time you will probably have a great deal of trepidation, remembering just how horrible the narcissist made Christmas for you last year. Or maybe you haven’t experienced a painful narcissistic Christmas yet, and this may be one where you will need to be prepared.

It can be so awful to experience all the ways that narcissists act out when Christmas threatens to upstage them, and there are a few specific things which narcissists do which are Universal, to try to bring every else’s good Christmas cheer down.

Why Narcissists Prey On Intelligent People

Written by   Melanie Tonia Evans
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Written by   Melanie Tonia Evans
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  Have you ever wondered how you can be capable in so many areas, yet for some reason narcissists are able to hook and deceive you? Have you ever berated yourself for not being able to see it coming? If you’re anything like me I used to constantly tell myself “I know this person is tearing me to shreds, I know I need to go … and I’m smart, I know everything about who they are and what they are doing but why can’t I leave?” The truth is you’re not alone … this is the plight of intelligent people regularly. (more…)

 

Have you ever wondered how you can be capable in so many areas, yet for some reason narcissists are able to hook and deceive you?

Have you ever berated yourself for not being able to see it coming?

If you’re anything like me I used to constantly tell myself “I know this person is tearing me to shreds, I know I need to go … and I’m smart, I know everything about who they are and what they are doing but why can’t I leave?”

The truth is you’re not alone … this is the plight of intelligent people regularly.

Pathological Jealousy And Narcissism – Why You Can Never Earn Their Trust

Written by   Melanie Tonia Evans
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Written by   Melanie Tonia Evans
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  If you have ever experienced the pathological jealousy of a narcissist, you know it goes a long way beyond being merely insecure. In today’s Thriver TV episode, I explain to you the difference between the narcissist’s levels of pathological jealousy and what we would term as “normal” levels of jealousy, and what the steps are to recognising it. We also go through how narcissists play out pathological envy ... and I'm going to explain to you how I released myself and healed from the pattern of jealous and controlling partners. (more…)

 

If you have ever experienced the pathological jealousy of a narcissist, you know it goes a long way beyond being merely insecure.

In today’s Thriver TV episode, I explain to you the difference between the narcissist’s levels of pathological jealousy and what we would term as “normal” levels of jealousy, and what the steps are to recognising it.

We also go through how narcissists play out pathological envy … and I’m going to explain to you how I released myself and healed from the pattern of jealous and controlling partners.

Are Narcissists Evil? A Thriver TV Halloween Special!

Written by   Melanie Tonia Evans
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Written by   Melanie Tonia Evans
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  The costume might be a bit of fun, yet today’s Thriver TV episode is a really deep, interesting and serious one. It tackles these questions that so many of us have asked: What is evil? Is the narcissist evil? We all know the feeling of ice in our veins and the horrible disbelief we feel, and the dread and unspeakable trauma when connected to a narcissist. We know it feels intensely evil. It also feels like a creepy psychic phenomenon – not unlike the Dementors in Harry Potter who can literally suck your soul and lifeforce from you. Is this undeniable energetic force that is going on “evil”? (more…)

 

The costume might be a bit of fun, yet today’s Thriver TV episode is a really deep, interesting and serious one.

It tackles these questions that so many of us have asked: What is evil? Is the narcissist evil?

We all know the feeling of ice in our veins and the horrible disbelief we feel, and the dread and unspeakable trauma when connected to a narcissist. We know it feels intensely evil.

It also feels like a creepy psychic phenomenon – not unlike the Dementors in Harry Potter who can literally suck your soul and lifeforce from you.

Is this undeniable energetic force that is going on “evil”?

When Does Passive-Aggressive Behaviour Become Narcissistic?

Written by   Melanie Tonia Evans
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Written by   Melanie Tonia Evans
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  I’m really excited to write this article, because this is a question that many people ask: “Is this narcissistic or is this simply passive-aggressive?” So what is passive-aggressive behaviour? And how does it cross the line into being narcissistic … or is passive-aggressive behaviour simply narcissistic anyway? Wikipedia states it as being this: Passive-aggressive behaviour is "a type of behaviour ... characterized by indirect resistance to the demands of others and an avoidance of direct confrontation." I truly do believe that all narcissists operate in passive-aggressive ways, because being passive-aggressive means this – rather than being open and honest about what that person is feeling, or working in with people honestly, or asking for what is required personally, they express displeasure through actions instead. (more…)

 

I’m really excited to write this article, because this is a question that many people ask: “Is this narcissistic or is this simply passive-aggressive?”

So what is passive-aggressive behaviour? And how does it cross the line into being narcissistic … or is passive-aggressive behaviour simply narcissistic anyway?

Wikipedia states it as being this: Passive-aggressive behaviour is “a type of behaviour … characterized by indirect resistance to the demands of others and an avoidance of direct confrontation.”

I truly do believe that all narcissists operate in passive-aggressive ways, because being passive-aggressive means this – rather than being open and honest about what that person is feeling, or working in with people honestly, or asking for what is required personally, they express displeasure through actions instead.

What To Do When The Narcissist Wants To Be Your Friend

Written by   Melanie Tonia Evans
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Written by   Melanie Tonia Evans
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  After severing ties with a narcissist it's likely that they will have tried to maintain contact in some form ... They may have even put the question to you - do you want to stay friends? This can be a very difficult offer to say no to, after all, you most likely shared parts of yourself with this person that you have never shared with anyone else. And there were those times that they made you feel so special and understood. The thought of saying "No" and letting this go forever can be incredibly daunting. Trust me ... I've been there. (more…)

 

After severing ties with a narcissist it’s likely that they will have tried to maintain contact in some form …

They may have even put the question to you – do you want to stay friends?

This can be a very difficult offer to say no to, after all, you most likely shared parts of yourself with this person that you have never shared with anyone else. And there were those times that they made you feel so special and understood.

The thought of saying “No” and letting this go forever can be incredibly daunting. Trust me … I’ve been there.

Why Are Narcissists So Entitled?

Written by   Melanie Tonia Evans
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Written by   Melanie Tonia Evans
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  If you’ve been in a close relationship with a narcissist you will have experienced the heartbreak and horror or realising it is ALL about him and her. The narcissist's demands (that must be met) are unreasonable and even unliveable. The invasions into your life, things, thoughts, and even your emotions are incredibly violating. The narcissist seems to truly believe that they are unique and special, and they need to be treated as such. (more…)

 

If you’ve been in a close relationship with a narcissist you will have experienced the heartbreak and horror or realising it is ALL about him and her.

The narcissist’s demands (that must be met) are unreasonable and even unliveable.

The invasions into your life, things, thoughts, and even your emotions are incredibly violating.

The narcissist seems to truly believe that they are unique and special, and they need to be treated as such.

Somatic Narcissists – The Complete Guide

Written by   Melanie Tonia Evans
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Written by   Melanie Tonia Evans
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  A few weeks I talked to you about The Dangers Of The Cerebral Narcissist And How To Avoid Them and many people have written in to ask about the somatic narcissist, who they are, and what to look out for regarding them. I decided I’d like to share with you essential information about somatic narcissists. Most narcissistic experts believe that there are two type of narcissists – the cerebral type who acquires narcissistic supply primarily with their brain, and the somatic narcissist who seeks attention and significance through their physicality. What I really believe is that this generalisation is not entirely accurate, because narcissists can shift from one to the other, although it can be argued that predominately a narcissist may be cerebral or somatic. (more…)

 

A few weeks I talked to you about The Dangers Of The Cerebral Narcissist And How To Avoid Them and many people have written in to ask about the somatic narcissist, who they are, and what to look out for regarding them.

I decided I’d like to share with you essential information about somatic narcissists.

Most narcissistic experts believe that there are two type of narcissists – the cerebral type who acquires narcissistic supply primarily with their brain, and the somatic narcissist who seeks attention and significance through their physicality.

What I really believe is that this generalisation is not entirely accurate, because narcissists can shift from one to the other, although it can be argued that predominately a narcissist may be cerebral or somatic.