You probably want to ask other people’s opinion as to if you’re a “good person” – Just my opinion, but Steve is a nice guy and you defecate on your friends. The only thing wrong with you Lynne can be fixed with one hell of a reality check.
Oh and number 3 reads: “I show love in ‘doing’ for others over myself”. If you are thinking of yourself Lynne it would read “I show love for myself by DOING over others”, and that comes from somebody who has had personal experience of you Lynne.

Thank you mel, for being my guiding light at the moment. For bringing me back within myself one moment at a time. Removing layers of responsibility that I have placed upon myself since I was a young girl. My child self feels my hug today as I take her hand & show her the way back to her true self, the self she has always been. But always Buried in her own limits;
1. Looking for acceptance, inclusion & safety.
I like the feel of being liked, it provides me with the above three feelings.
2. I like myself more when I help others/ am needed.
3. I show love in ‘doing’ for others over myself.
I look for validation for my feelings, always. Even when I know and am so in touch with my own feelings and intuition/ always have been.

4. I lack trust in myself, my choices may negatively impact others.
5. I don’t like feeling blamed, this I now realise is an easy hook for me in cont ‘feeding’ cycles of emotional abuse within the relationship.
6. I was previously exposed to NPD from age 5-26yrs. I meet my partner at age 17yrs soon after the death of my closest and loving relationship of my brother. I was vulnerable and I had a ‘gap’ That needed filling up. Altho I now realise was not authentic safe love like That I received from my brother from birth -16yrs.
7. I was emotionally immature and not feeling whole.
8. I was unsupported & vulnerable.
9. I was feeling abandoned in my closets adult relationships.
10. I was looking for support/ validation/ empathy.
11. I wanted to feel heard/ believed about my injustice and victimisation of my previous NPD abusing relationship of my stepfather.
12. Peoples opinions effect me.
13. I was unable to self soothe, validation from others enables my feelings of safety.
14. I put focus on providing. I can do, be more, try harder. Prove I am enough for that person.
15. The more I give, the more I will receive without speaking up. Expectations of others to be that of my own.
16. I drop my boundaries through fear.
17. I ignore reality and live in false hope.
18. I endure pain to protect others I love from hurt and pain.
19. I don’t want to fail, I don’t want to hurt others.
20. I am a people pleaser.
21. I don’t want to feel dismissed/unseen/unheard.
22. I am easily manipulated therefor vulnerable to having my boundaries crossed.
23. I need people to see and admit there own wrongdoing that has hurt my feelings before I can move on.
24. I don’t want to feel accountable for my hurt. WOW!!!

Revelations! Hope this helps others dig a little deeper as I feel I have only hit the surface and I’m sure could reveal many more!
Light & love to you all ♡

Hi Harriet,

I am so thrilled for you that NARP is bringing such profound healing results.

Please know dear lady that we are always available in the NARP members forum for any specialised suggestions that you may need to fast track to healing.

It’s so wonderful that you are gaining such powerful awarenesses and truths about what to unravel and heal.

Sending you continued love, healing and blessings.

Mel 🙏💛💕

Hi Mel,

Yes I am working with QFH. It has started to change my life in only one short month. I wanted to put this on a public page in case anyone else reads it who may need hope. I would never have believed, before, that it was possible. Even when thriving people said they would never have believed, before, that is was possible, I would not have believed it.

For the last 3 and a half years (since running away from home) I had horrible PTSD symptoms more than once a day lasting hours at a time, but since starting with QFH it is much less frequent and for much shorter periods, and some days with almost no PTSD. I have had an eating disorder for 37 years but 2 weeks ago or so, the symptoms started to fade. I also had an almost-daily emotional dependence on alcohol and that disappeared like a puff of smoke not long after I started QFH. The largest mountain to climb for my true recovery is to learn love the inner child in me, whom I have hated so passionately since I was that small child. I only realised today, in the webinar, how this hatred could be at the root of all of my symptoms and behavioural patterns and life choices. I am intending to turn my attention to shifting the beliefs I’ve built on it, and comforting and loving that inner child. It will be hard, but your program offers a real method. I’ve had years of symptom-focused clinical psychotherapy and counselling, but only this method has given me true hope that I can be well.

Thank you for putting NARP out there and for inspiring the lovely inspiring confident lady who privately recommended it to me.

Harriet

Hi Harriet,

this is an incredibly comprehensive list, well done!

Harriet, the “practical” way to do it is a practice that would work. This means meeting the traumas in your body that are driving painful false beliefs, releasing them and replacing them in order to reprogram your beliefs. We can only reprogram our belief systems directly by doing inner work.

Are you working with Quanta Freedom Healing yet to do so? If not, then come into my free webinar http://www.melanietoniaevans.com/freewebinar to find out more about how to reprogram your inner beliefs. And if you are already working with NARP then come into the NARP members forum for more guidance and direction http://www.melanietoniaevans.com/member

I hope this helps

Mel 🙏💛💕

1. The more work I do for other people the more likely it is that they will value me and the more likely it is that my existence will be justified.
2. If I think about other people’s needs before my own, they will appreciate me and think about my needs and meet my needs.
3. People would not like or love me or want my company if they knew what I was really like.
4. My happiness depends on not being judged / criticised / rejected / ignored by other people.
5. If I take responsibility for other’s pain and suffering and try to fix things for them, my own failures and faults and inadequacies won’t matter so much.
6. I let other people’s anger, irritability, self-pity and dark moods control and dictate my life and how I feel.
7. I need to be the one who has been kind and caring, and I need to believe that it is always the other person who has used, abused or taken advantage of me.
8. It is not OK to ask other people to do things that I really need.
9. If people say something nice about me, it is because they do not know the truth about who I am.
10. I find it hard to nurture myself in healthy ways, because I do not deserve it and I see it as “selfish”.
11. If I voice my needs people will see me as greedy and disgusting and will have contempt for me.
12. Just being me is not right.
13. I do not have clear boundaries and I have allowed people to push me around and allowed them to assume that I will keep on going and keep on doing what they want me to do or what they think I should do.
14. My lack of boundaries shows that I am wrong, needy and unacceptable.
15. I do not honour my own feelings and belief and speak my truth.
16. I must achieve to high standards in order to be accepted and deemed acceptable.
17. I must buy stuff in order to feel safe in non-rejection.
18. I do not love myself unconditionally, and I never have. I have hated myself unconditionally.
19. I did not back myself up, and needed other people to have my back in order to feel OK and safe.
20. I can be afraid of my gut instincts in case they lead me into harm and shame.
21. I was too scared to leave for fear of letting others down and demonstrating that I am simply selfish and cruel.
22. I was not enough, alone, to stand up for what I believed to be right.
23. I felt worthless and as though my treatment was well-deserved because of how appalling my inner nature was.
24. If I continued to sustain my relationship and my life, it would make me into a good person by accepting the pain (which I deserved)
25. I constantly said yes to people to do things to help them, even things which I hated doing. When I said no, I accepted that that the response was ‘yes, you will’ or ‘but I really need you to’, and I accepted that I would have to do it anyway. I allowed this to happen to such an extent that I was emotionally paralysed and physically triggered by new demands.
26. I automatically acted to do what other people needed even though it was not related to my own needs. I became subservient, as my justification for existence was to serve, and was left feeling abandoned and rejected when nothing was given in return.
27. I am so damaged and dirty and despicable that it is only to be expected that I am going to used and/or rejected sexually.
28. I did not have enough self-respect to say no, or this is what I want want, or this is what I want from you.
29. I needed to feel needed and effective in meeting those needs, in order to feel that it was OK to exist.
30. I am very insecure within and untrusting of intimacy within relationship, instead of loving and being content with who I am within the relationship.
31. I do not feel acceptable unless I am wearing nice clothes and am clean and have done the minimum of things: show up for children as best I can; do my work; think about others’ needs.
32. People’s judgements and criticisms of me terrify me and undermine how I feel.
33. I wasted a lot of time trying to please people in my broken family in an effort to heal trauma and create harmony between others.
34. I forfeited my dreams and goals as I was not worthy of them.
35. I have never taken emotional or practical responsibility for myself in my life, and I have relied on others to either do this for me or to help me do it partially.
36. I have waited pointlessly for the outer world to tell me that I am good enough. When I receive good messages from others about myself, I dismiss them, disbelieve them and easily forget them.
37. I believe I am a damaged person from whose true inner self people naturally recoil.
38. I have needed other people to see that I am right and others wrong, in order to feel that my situation is real and not just a monstrosity that I have created.
39. I constantly over analyse thoughts and situations and make excuses for others and my behaviour.
40. I have constant, obsessive thoughts and intense sexual and romantic feelings that overwhelm my actual needs and drive my behaviour for years at a time.
41. I am cruelly hard on myself and I am my own worst and hateful, punishing, implacable, relentlessly mean critic.
42. When I take the time to do things that I love, for myself, I am being selfish.
43. When I refused to give in to other people’s demands and wishes, I am being selfish.
44. I allowed my thoughts and values to be overwhelmed by the thoughts, demands and emotions of others.
45. I am only authentic when I am on my own or in one or two close friend relationships. I try to be the person that I think people want or prefer me to be (or find easier for me to be) in order to be accepted.
46. I reacted emotionally with devastation and anguish to simple acts from others, so that often I read rejection when it was not really there.
47. I was mortified and devastated by criticism and rejection and being undermined, told to ‘shh’ or just ignored.
48. The kinder and prettier I am, the more people will like me and be interested in me.
49. I must prove myself by working very hard so that people accept me (even then they may not respect me if I open my mouth too much).
50. I allowed myself and my son to be treated continuously in ways that were unacceptable because I did not lay firm enough boundaries, follow through and have the guts to speak up for what I believed and intervene physically to help my son.
51. I don’t and can’t love myself because I am a horrible, dark, needy, neurotic, negative, demanding, damaged and damaging person when I am around others.
52. I am not good enough to be loved by a man without being either used or punished. I am not good enough, I do not deserve, to be in an equal relationship.
53. I believe I am so horrible inside that I cannot even bear to look at myself and that is why I have avoided healing for so long.
54. My failure to take responsibility has caused my children pain and loss, and has put them at risk (on the occasions when I used to be drunk or bulimic in the house with them).
55. I have always seen my belief that my children deserve a better mother in a negative light (now I see it as a positive – my children deserve a healed and whole mother because I deserve to be healed and whole.)

If you post can you remove it later?