[breadcrumb]

 

It can be a huge thing to “decide” to commit to our healing.

We may feel that if we let go of the battles we are enmeshed in, we will be annihilated.

Or maybe it is too late for us to heal, there are too many wounds, we are too old โ€ฆ or it will take too long.

But are there deeper reasons WHY we are struggling to commit to healing?

I believe there are, and I share these with you in this weekโ€™s episode.

This show will also demystify many common myths regarding “healing” and hopefully grant you the truths that will set you free from the REAL reasons you may have been battling with committing to your healing journey.

Things I, too, battled with horrifically before my Thriver Healing Journey!

And I sooooo hope this episode helps inspire you out of your “resisting healing” funk that may have been separating you from the True Life you were born to live!

For more detail on the Narcissistic Abuse Recovery Program (NARP) โ€“ the 10-step Program that contains the specific QFH Healings to break free from narcissistic abuse click here.

 

 

Video Transcript

Welcome to Thriver TV, the place to break free from narcissistic abuse with quantum tools and understandings. If you know someone else who would benefit from this understanding, please share this with them, and if you still need to subscribe to my YouTube channel, please do so.

Welcome to the first-ever Thriver TV episode in my new backroom, I’ve been busy renovating for the last few weeks to usher in my birthday week.

Thank you so much to my beautiful family, friends and the Thrivers in the community for all the presents, messages, Facebook posts, and other things. I feel incredibly blessed because this was such a significant birthday, 50 years of age, half a century.

I am the happiest I’ve ever been in my entire life. Life just gets better and better every week, every month, and every year because I have the Thriver Orientation, which is about releasing trauma and bringing in well-being.

I want to inspire others who think their life is over in their 30s or 40s. Your age doesn’t matter; you can release trauma and become who you are.

This is a perfect segue, my birthday and all this stuff, into this week’s Thriver TV episode because it’s completely and utterly relevant.

Every day people ask;

“How do I start the healing process instead of putting it off? I feel overwhelmed by the process, which, unfortunately, keeps me in limbo at times. I’m away from the narcissism but not moving on. It can feel like an overwhelming, endless process, and we’re hesitant to start. I know it’s a worthwhile process, but an in-depth video would be amazing. I’m sure many others could benefit from this as well. I would really appreciate it if you could get this suggestion to Mel. Thank you so much, and have a great day.”

I was inspired by this question, and making a video to address this suggestion could help many people.

Thank you so much for your lovely wishes at the end of the video. It’s always nice when people are just gorgeous, which is typical of many people in this community.

 

Breaking the Cycle of Trauma

I’m thrilled to talk about this because I relate so much. I used to resist healing myself hugely.

Many of us are entrenched in doing, which is the trauma response to surviving and an effort to battle our wounds rather than healing them for real.

Our human condition has us struggling, neck deep and battling with trauma because we think this is what we need to do.

We didn’t know any other way to stay safe and alive and had no hope of getting through what was happening to us. We were trained to ignore our insides and battle on the outside of ourselves. So initially, it can seem incredibly counterintuitive to stop doing, let go and come inside ourselves.

When we know the quantum truths of so within-so without, we start experiencing and seeing results.

Before then, we had only ever experienced doing life from the outside in. Therefore, we are overwhelmed when we think about stopping to do, taking our focus off energy, and healing ourselves from within.

This can feel like, “If I don’t keep all my balls in the air juggling by doing everything I cannot survive this trauma, one of them will drop, and my life will blow up in my face. I’m not going to be able to deal anymore.”

We can also have feelings like, “If I stop and actually meet my wounds, I won’t be able to function anymore because my wounds are going to take me out, and they’re going to render me incapable.”

On a surface level, our resistance can have us believe that “If I come inside and take my focus off those terrible things that this person is doing to my property, children and me, then they are going to worse. They’ll get the upper hand, and I will be annihilated.”

At a deeper level, when we feel our resistance, come inside to meet our traumas, and get seriously orientated to release our traumas, then we reprogram our subconscious. We know this very vital when we want to generate a different trajectory of life that will free us from pain and abuse.

When that happens, the resistance to our healing will be like, “I’m too damaged, and there’s going to be too much for me to face to heal.” Or “It’s too late for me to heal.” Or, we can believe, “I’m going to be stuck in my healing for too long, and there’s so much of it that the effort’s probably not even going to be worth it.” We even painfully believe, “I don’t deserve love and healing.”

Understanding that these false beliefs are neither actual nor quantum realities is important. They’re products of our ego- our false self, which loves to keep us embroiled, battling in pain, struggle and disappointing patterns because it gets to have and maintain its diet, which is fear and pain.

It’s so important to understand that the ego is part of us that actually represents our internal narcissism.

Wayne Dwyer famously and magnificently described the ego as the part of ourselves that edges God out (EGO).

Our ego keeps us separated from our organic self that actually flows with life and is flourishing and nourishing when we’re not living off the trauma wedged in our being.

When we let go of the trauma, we replace it with well-being and flow, our actual self-organic source function. But to reach this state, we need to remove the trauma stuck in our being.

What that means is the trauma that the narcissist triggered was actually a more intense replay of an already existing wedged trauma. It started to refocus our attention and evolve into a childhood wound inherited from our ancestors- a generational trauma.

Sadly, it is the human experience to be asleep and stay asleep. If we don’t go into our trauma to release it and up-level, it stays there and replays our unconscious wounds to generate more evidence of these painful beliefs. We continue to participate and roll around with the people and the things representing more of the wounds.

As the obsession to battle and fight energises the unconscious wounds, the pain of those same traumas, we are triggered repeatedly.

We stay stuck in the pattern that says, “Hang on, there’s a wound in here, and it will be triggered until you heal it.”

 

 

Embracing Triggers as an Opportunity for Growth

A few mornings ago, I was driving with a girlfriend on our way to a cafe. We were in traffic, and this guy was behind us, tooting at her. She was blocked in traffic, couldn’t do anything but was heavily triggered, and angrily exploded back at him. I quietly looked at her, and then she looked at me and smiled because she gets it profoundly.

She said to me, “Wow, that hits something huge. I really need to look at that.”

Within the hour while we were in the cafe, she’d sat there with Quanta Freedom Healing and shifted. She found a four-year-old wounded from being trapped and yelled at about something that was not her fault.

The truth was this wound had been triggered for one reason only, granting her the opportunity to finally find it, release it, and live her life freely. When she up-levelled it, she said, “Oh my God, I’ve just realised how much that had been playing out my whole life. How I felt cornered. I felt judged, and I had nowhere to go. I’ve been blamed for stuff that hasn’t been my fault.”

She was so grateful to let that go because she realised how that same wound had been happening so much in her adult life. People that seemed horrible, but were actually aides or angels in disguise, had been showing up in her life experience, triggering that wound to bring it to her attention by being unfair.

If she hadn’t found that wound and let it go, she would’ve just experienced more people hitting it and triggering it. She could have stayed stuck as a victim, just rolling around angry at these people.

You can see our inner being is only interested in evolution, and it is not going to will not stop doing whatever it takes to get our attention.

The sad thing that’s made it all really screwy is that we’ve been taught to believe that negative emotions are terrible. Whereas, when we wake up, start evolving and generate our highest and truest life, we love triggers.

We want nothing more than to accept our triggers as the golden opportunity to go inside, find the wound, let it go, replace it with a source, and be free of it. We then transcend into our next highest level of the true self.

My best girlfriend is one of those people gloriously on an evolutionary path with me. That’s why she went straight to the wound and shifted it in the cafe. She’s like, “I’m not missing this opportunity.”

Her accelerated growth and joy for life reflect my desire and commitment to living an amazing life.

 

Overcoming Our Ego’s Resistance to Inner Healing

We were taught to do anything but go inwards when we are stuck. Our ego loves self-avoidance because we can provide it with instant gratification by indulging in addictions, people-pleasing, and self-medication, as we try to ease the inevitable anxiety and inner pain arising from the wedged trauma.

Our ego loves us, wounded to supply it with pain forever. Similarly, the narcissist loves to play with your wounds to keep you hooked while you grant them a narcissistic supply by handing over attention and energy.

Our ego offers all the resistance and excuses to stop us from meeting ourselves, and it doesn’t want us to self-partner, lovingly devote ourselves or be super present and heal our traumas. Because if we do, our ego couldn’t exist.

Our ego knows that if we are dedicated to our inner being and healing, we will stay in our heads, and that’s the perfect position for the ego. When we’re in our heads trying to survive trauma, we can only ever think within the consciousness range of our already existing traumas. So, our thoughts will be within the scope of unconsciousness that compound the traumas, creating self-annihilating recriminations.

When we stay asleep and re-traumatized by our thoughts, we stay connected to the source of the traumas and problems, trying to force other things and people to change rather than change within our own being– which is the only level it can ever happen.

 

No More Props, Thank Goodness

Every week, people are struggling with this conundrum of getting on with their healing, and they write in my forums about their resistance to getting started on their healing.

They say, “I know I need to get the NARP program, but I haven’t done that yet. Why aren’t I doing that? I believe in what you’re saying, but I just can’t seem to get started.”

Others have even been on the program, or they’ve got the program, they write in the NARP forum, and they’ll say,

“I’ve bought NARP, Melanie. I’ve downloaded the modules but have yet to start on them. I have huge resistance to sitting with myself and doing the modules.”

Last week, after sharing a blog post on this topic, Anna commented, and I’ll share with you what she wrote.

God love you, Anna, for being so honest because we have to get real to heal. That’s a huge step.

She wrote:

“Dear Melanie, you mentioned something I’d like to elaborate on: whether we love ourselves enough to heal our wounds. Your modules work, and I’ve experienced it. I believe in the law of attraction, quantum mechanics, and your philosophy. In my past lives, I acknowledge reincarnation. Despite all that, I find sitting and doing the modules extremely difficult. I’d love to hear some comments on why this is the case.”

 

Hang on, where am I up to? Right, I lost it. Okay. I’ve got it.

Please provide some advice on how to battle this immense resistance. By listening to this show, I actually thought that, perhaps, I didn’t love myself enough to heal with the modules.”

 

Yeah, good point.

“If that’s the case, what could I do? I must stress again that it’s not the lack of belief that’s holding me back, nor the lack of need for healing. I need to upgrade and evolve because my life is diminished on several levels. Is it the lack of love or the feeling of not being worthy of getting healed? Whatever it is, I want to change this, and I’ll appreciate the advice very much. Love Anna.”

 

My response was:

“Hi, Anna. My answer to this is the same for all of our blocks. We need to go inside, find its root, and uplevel it, or it will always be there. The real truth is, Anna, only you can stand up to you. When we’ve had enough pain, there is nothing else to do. By choosing that, you’ll get to the bottom of it, release it in module work, and then be free of it. So this means tolerating however many minutes of standing up to yourself it takes, pushing through that to make that happen, with the upside of a lifetime of potential freedom on the other side. Which really is worth crawling across a paddock of broken glass, let alone being with and standing up to uncomfortable resistant feelings. The truth is, sometimes, we need to get to the point where there is no other choice. Hopefully, you don’t leave it that long like I did. I just so hope other people don’t. Please know, in the NARP forum, a team of angels is there to hold your hand.”

 

I said

“I used to be so resistant too. Once you can start meeting your resistance and doing the work with Quanta Freedom Healing, you’ll wonder why on Earth you didn’t do this earlier. Leaving the trauma in your body, using your head, and trying to deal with it block you from enjoying an awesome life because you are not in the flow. So I hope this helps and puts it into perspective for you. Mel. Kiss, hug.”

 

If NARPers have questions about modules or healing, go into the forum where we have the most outstanding world-class coaching and access to massive breakthroughs.

You can also watch a Shifts Happen episode I did with a lovely lady from Denmark, which was all about overcoming ego blocks and resistance stopping us from healing. It shows how to directly go to the ego and dissolve the block- to front it completely. Having your blocks work for you in healing instead of against you will help you heaps.

I so relate with Anna and others because I was there. My ego and trauma were massive and had such a hold on me. I made every excuse to not do the work, like, “I’m too busy.”

I was always in survival, battling my life, and I couldn’t stop doing that. I was addicted to doing, and I thought it was lazy not to be efforting and struggling and working obsessively hard on my outer life to try and fix it.

But I was just on a hamster wheel chasing my tail continuously. Because underneath it, my ego had me fair and square exactly where it wanted me, drowning in my trauma, generating more trauma with me, and not loving or being devoted to me.

I’m wondering why on Earth, life and others were smashing me with all this pain and fear. Which, of course, was reflecting back to me all the pain and fear in my inner being that I was ignoring and wasn’t going to.

That was until my life depended on me going inside because everything outside was obliterated entirely and dismantled. There were no props left anymore, thank goodness. Which only left me with the inside to go to. For that, I am just so, so grateful.

 

Conclusion

So I hope with all of my heart that you don’t wait until it’s almost or even too late to heal like I did. It’s my greatest desire that this episode has inspired you to wake up past that hold your ego has had on you, and go to the only place that is the generative centre of your entire life, to take the healing hiatus and do whatever it takes to turn your life around. That means going into the bird hospital to heal our wings because we can’t fly.

We need to heal to soar. Otherwise, we’ll only crawl around with broken wings, and it’s not worth it.

I promise you that when you work in quantum ways on your inner being, which means releasing your trauma wound by wound, false belief by false belief, it may last between a month to two years.

This is unlike traditional therapy, which takes decades with very little or no progress because we’re trying to work on an almighty subconscious program with our mere cognitive brain, and it just doesn’t work.

You’ll find that you will get real incredible results when you’re freed into levels of life, love, inspiration and creativity that you’d never previously imagined possible to live while you were battling for survival all the time.

You’ll be forever grateful when you hit life at this level. Life starts to work on this level of freedom and a true self-trajectory, and we are entirely different in it, and how we feel is completely different. Like me, being the happiest you’ve ever been in your whole life will be your reality.

So, I’d love you to come over and join this rich and deep conversation about deciding to heal.

If this makes sense to you, my very best recommendation is to join the Narcissistic Abuse Recovery Program (NARP).

Until the next episode, you know how it goes, keep smiling, keep healing, and keep thriving, because there’s nothing else to do.

Lots of love.

Buh-bye.

 

Join My FREE 16-Day Recovery Course to Begin
Healing from Narcissistic Abuse

Related blog post

Thriver Talks Special: Healing Financial Prosperity After Abuse

Read More

Repetitive Compulsion Disorder and Abuse

Read More

Commments (37) + Leave a comments

37 thoughts on “How Do We Decide To Heal?

  1. Omg I loved this video.

    Triggers are the golden opportunity to go inside find the wound and let it go and be free of it.

    Wow that is such strong stuff, best video and advice I have ever heard

  2. Thank you so much and Happy Birthday Melanie! ๐Ÿ™‚
    I really needed this conversation today. I am eternally grateful for all you are doing. The tools are here for us, we just have to commit to use them. Much Love!

    ~ Kim ~

    1. Hi Kim,

      you are so welcome and thank you for your birthday wishes dear lady!

      It’s so true … we do have what we need to heal, it is just a matter of committing to it.

      Much Love to you too!

      Mel xo

  3. Thanks Melanie on sharing your advice/knowledge with those who need it.

    You explained my position to me and helped me past the narc. who has now been gone near 6 months and I feel fine.

    It is a condition we all heard of, but lately, its in the headlines…….look who might be President.

    Peter.

  4. Hi Mel and Community!
    Amazing words of wisdom once again. A huge sticking point for me with healing was – as a child, while I was showered with toys and pocket money, I was taught that having emotional needs was selfish and caused others trouble and inconvenience. My parents did this because being so wounded themselves, they couldn’t meet the needs of a child, so they made me feel bad for having them. I grew up hiding my needs, I believed I would be rejected and abandoned if I asked for anything. So healing seemed like a self-absorbed indulgence. And of course, the Ego tried its damndest to stop me. It wanted me to stay stuck – being controlled and manipulated by others, so it could feel resentful and righteous. It was working in conjunction with my peptide addiction, and was terrified of me getting rid of its “suppliers”. When I first got NARP, I didn’t start it for couple of weeks, I really had to be firm with myself and also convince myself that I was deserving of a happy pain-free life. I know my ego will always be here, and its not a problem now because I don’t mistake its whisperings and warnings for other things like intuition, premonition or even “reality”. Great topic Mel, and very relevant to my experience, much love xxx

    1. Sylvia I love those words ‘so that it could feel resentful and righteous’ as they are a short cut to seeing the ego at work. Thank you for them, little gems. ??

    2. Hi Sylvia,

      Totally insightful what you have shared here.

      How many people have felt “wrong” committing to their own healing? If we don’t believe we deserve to value ourselves then it can be incredibly difficult to commit to doing so.

      How wonderful that you DID take a stand for your own worth and start working NARP.

      Much love to you too darling sister!

      Mel xo

  5. Thanks a lot for that profound message, dear Melanie. I have been struggling for quite a while to get out of a standstill on almost all outer levels, work, relationships, love for life. Although my relationship with a narcissist ihas been over for 3 years I have the feeling that I am still struggling with getting on with my life, especially with the missing link to not falling back into survival mode, the only pattern I cultivated my whole life. I got your NARP program a year ago and – as far as I can judge it – my ego (like the wonderful example with the courageous Danish girl) is hugely resistant and – like you mentioned in your above episode – I feel that I don`t deserve happiness or can’t even imagine how a happy, fulfilling life would look like for me. I feel like “numbed out” in a way and cannot even articulate or feel how desires and aims for my further life would look like except being authentic.
    So I really appreciate that you talked about this topic and your inspirational insights.

    Love, Dea

    1. Hi Dea,

      you are very welcome ๐Ÿ™‚

      I am so pleased this topic was timely for you – and I really encourage you Dea to come into the NARP Forum and reach out for love and support. Sometimes having an army of angels supporting can create the very impetus for our shift.

      I have seen this happen so many times in the NARP Forum, that before people have learnt to propel themselves, others have been the wind under their wings to help them get there.

      If you haven’t as yet, please do register in the Forum https://www.melanietoniaevans.com/member

      Mel xo

  6. A belated Happy Birthday Melanie, Penblwydd Hapus (in Welsh) and thank you for this gift that you have given us. I am feeling happier than I have felt for years because I am in NC and in the healing process but, as you described, there are days when I have not done a module or I have tried to rationalise triggers or push them away for all of the reasons you have stated. This video is a reminder to me that if I want to fly I not only have to fix broken wings but i also have to maintain them with tlc. Thank you for this imagery, it has really helped me understand that anything that takes me away from this is the ego at work. I’m at that middle stage where this understanding is key, so lots of love and hugs for this. ??

    P.s. These days I don’t always go and sit to listen to a module as such, I seem to carry one in my head for when I am on walks with my dogs. I go through the process of identifying a trigger then taking it and all associated stuff into the pit of my stomach and then release it. I then use the inspiration from my actual safe place to fill me with light and Source. I will hear your voice in my head as I do this and keep muscle testing until I have cleared the worst of the trigger and then finish off when I get home. Do other people do this?

    1. Forgot to mention you look fab and nowhere near your age!! Clearly NARP has performed miracles for you, your energy and bounce is inspiring. ??

      1. Awww Jan,

        thank you darling lady!

        Yes …. the more trauma I release out of my being and replace with Source – the healthier my cells get.

        Hence the “age” thing for me really is irrelevant!

        Mel xo

    2. Yes Jan, I do this too. I like to deal with a trigger as soon as it happens, while the charge is at its strongest. I have done it on trains and even in ladies loo’s! xxx

      1. That’s good to know Sylvia, thank you. I’ve realised that it needs to be as much a part of my daily routine as cleaning my teeth. This video has really reinforced this. ??

    3. Hi Jan,

      thank you darling lady – and I love the Welsh “happy birthday” as I am part Welsh!

      It’s my pleasure Jan!

      Oh yes, how true is it that when we try to battle the triggers rationally, as opposed to doing the work in our bodies that there is a HUGE difference in results.

      Universes apart in fact.

      The first takes us deeper into the trauma, and the latter liberates us from it and creates yet another evolution rise into our next Highest Version of Self.

      Hun, our entire life is about eternally going to our traumas and loving them enough to be vulnerable, real and heal them (doing the up-levelling work). And knowing that this is the rub … that is the process … IF each and every time we want to expand, grow, become more Source-like and joyous.

      Our triggers are THE springboard to do this.

      Knowing that (when we start living it) why on earth would we NOT do it?

      Fabbo you are doing the shifts inside your own being – with my voice in your head.

      Yes, absolutely people have clicked into doing this.

      If you feel the body shift, relief and expansion beyond the wound – it IS working for you!

      Keep up the great work Jan.

      Mel xo

  7. Hi Mel
    love where the show took me, thank you ๐Ÿ™‚
    I thought of you and all ๐Ÿ™‚

    sage

    the work bubble
    huff and puff
    type and Skype
    stream clean

    take five…

    a little chamomile
    a meditative thought
    to balance
    donโ€™t be afraid
    to open this door…

    โ€˜ what if Iโ€™m wrong ? โ€˜

    play this out…
    you know what comes in
    is the one
    youโ€™re without

    peace and relax
    love and detach
    breath in the moment
    itโ€™s not a mistake

    itโ€™s a break

    you deserve to take

    clear the page
    and in comes the sage

    …/\…
    love
    Tim
    52 years old ๐Ÿ™‚

  8. Sounds like someone could use one of those bumper stickers that says, “Keep honking, I’m reloadingโ€”my energy.” ๐Ÿ˜‰
    (You might have to write the last two words on with magic marker, since I’ve only seen bumper stickers sold with the first part). ๐Ÿ™‚

    But anyway … one reason I procrastinated the healing was because I thought I needed to do it all in one sitting. This would mean I’d need to set aside 2 or more hour time blocks. (If I paused the healing to write things down, it could be longer). Someone on the NARP forum mentioned that it was ideal to do the QFH modules in one sitting, but also fine to break them up into multiple sittings. Since I’ve broken them up, it’s helped a lot with procrastination.

  9. I have struggles with the daunting feeling of a lot of wounds. It’s helpful to hear that is my ego talking, that’s not a quantum truth. I have worked NARP for a year and a half, and it got a lot less distressing, the thoughts of the narc and his life. My job got a lot more distressing, after I started healing my wounds around the ex-narc. I had to get other work, which has been challenging, although it’s been possible, as opposed to before I started NARP modules. I got the Empowered Self Course after a year and half of healing through NARP. I have had so many things occur. I connected with some people involved in a labor movement regarding the corporation I have worked for under terrible conditions for nine years, and spoke publicly and in the media about it, and how it just has gotten worse and worse no matter what I do, and they have had some good benefits like a raise and a few other issues are sort of being addressed. I am so stressed, though. I have been gaslighted all through the time I was working, but I have been spooked since bringing the stuff to people’s attention. I wonder if this is too much for me, as I feel like a quantum shift of everything in my life is necessary to heal, but it’s really sooo much that needs to heal. I feel very uncomfortable and under-confident in my ability to handle the strain. My dad did a lot of really abusive things to me that I was previously unaware of, and I worry about being able to take care of myself while healing myself. I would like to take a sabbatical to heal, but don’t have an obvious way to do this. It nearly killed me what my dad did. Repeatedly. I can’t bust through my life and constantly exercise to the point of exhaustion the way I was. I am kind of feeling a mixture of areas of stress and gratitude, if that makes any sense, and I wonder if I am doing this wrong, or if it is possible for me to do this right. Which is weird, because I know even a narcissist can do this if only they were willing. It’s just there’s so much pain. Is it worse than before? Probably not, but it is more conscious. Anyways, I was encouraged by hearing that it is my ego that wants me to believe it’s impossible. Thanks for your program and addressing this issue which has been so pertinent to my situation. ?

    1. Hi Martha,

      many people within the Community (myself included originally) had the beliefs “there are too many wounds to heal”.

      That truly is a direct belief that can be targeted and up-levelled … and sometimes we forget to do that with QFH, we forget to reprogram an obvious belief that is stuck in our Being that is creating a significant negative experience or impediment with our healing process.

      That would be my suggestion to you – go to THAT exact belief in your body, track, load up, release and replace with Source.

      Also there are 2 other beliefs / orientations that can make our healing process (getting out of daily pain and survival programs) be drawn out and longer than necessary.

      1) Not loving ourselves RIGHT NOW trauma and all.

      When we have the beliefs, I am not okay with this pain, and when in between shift work we are not lovingly super-present and talking to ourselves adoringly and supportively like a devoted Mother would to her child – our Inner Being feels “unacceptable” with its trauma – (THAT is the worst trauma of all) and we are judging ourselves and holding up terrible and painful conditions of “I will ONLY be loving and accepting towards you WHEN you are no longer in trauma.”

      Boy does that NEVER work or allow the space for healing!

      For myself when I realised I was HORRIBLY wounded, and I had TONS of shifts to do, and I was not going to be better overnight – and realised that I was soooooo conditional with myself (and it wasn’t helping or creating true healing) I dropped all of that.

      I started adoring me NOW.

      I kept working on triggers daily doing QFH Modules to release my Inner Being from her trauma, but I stopped rejecting and abandoning my emotional self with all her trauma.

      Every day – minute by minute I told myself how much I loved myself, how proud I was of myself and I said to my inner child “I love you RIGHT now … and I always will, and I am never leaving you again.”

      Then I got comfortable with still existing trauma … whenever it was triggered. Instead of HATING it … I breathed, I loved me, I used every painful time as a time to commit to loving myself EVEN more …

      And I STOPPED judging triggers. I just rolled up my sleeves kept shifting daily and kept loving me in every way I could.

      THEN The urgency was gone to heal, then I was no longer hellbent on the destination (of being unwounded).

      And I found I could start to love the journey and be grateful for everything – no matter how it appeared.

      THAT was a True Healthy Life Orientation as a wounded individual on her way to freedom and evolution, and THEN it started to happen in warp speed ways – because I no longer NEEDED it to.

      Okay this is the 2nd negative belief that may be playing out …

      2) Labelling things as a victim would.

      Every time we thinks something is “terrible” and “horrible” and people are “doing that to us” we have forgotten the truth. That every situation in our life is bringing us the evidence in real time of our inner beliefs on that topic.

      In Quantum Terms there is nothing happening “to” us, it is all Happening “for” us.

      Painful triggers allows us to not only shift that belief for ourselves but to also shift those beliefs and traumas for the entire collective … for all of humanity.

      If we believe in our own victimisation, we will not do that – we not become effective in generating within ourselves the upgraded / up- levelled evolution from that wound (to bring reform and healing to ourselves and others) and in effect all we do is roll around adding to the victimisation experience for ourselves and others.

      If we are stuck as a victim, we need to do work on that, so that we get out of judgement / stuckedness into gratitude / up-levelling / creation.

      I hope this can help you Martha with some food for thought – and some direction in your next steps.

      And the next steps are vital, because as Prema Chodren famously said – “If we haven’t learnt the lesson, we are not released from it.”

      Mel xo

  10. I loved this episode as well thank you Melanie, its interesting how one try’s to manage both for a while the ego and the Narp thinking that eventually the Narp will overcome the ego.
    but you just end up backing yourself into a corner no escape and no where else to go with everything collapsing around you no matter how much you keep trying to gather it all up.
    sometimes i think you have to get to that point before you can start to heal recover and find your true life.
    admiting to yourself that the way you have been trying to manage your life, be accepted, noticed, listened to,loved everything we crave is never going to happen on the path your on.

    Being physically born and being mentally born on soul level born is equally as dramatic, letting go of the safety of the mothers womb being squeezed to almost the life pushed out of you before pow there you are out in the open pure and ready for your life.
    I am at the point now where contractions are starting there is no other choice but to go with the flow you can not stay where you are and going back is not an option!
    I am grateful that my midwife is Melanie and the Narp angels <3

    1. Hi Elizavetta,

      I am so pleased you loved this episode.

      I so agree, that when we finally admit “My life doesn’t work the way I have been trying to do it”, we can acknowledge something needs to shift hugely …

      We need to change ourselves.

      I love your analogy, about coming down the birth canal.

      We are all doing this – if we choose death from ego to move toward rebirth to True Self.

      What else is there to do?

      The very reason for being alive is living …

      Mel xo

  11. I have watched this 3 times. I was amazed to find that my ego was preventing me from hearing amazing bits of truth that I needed. I have reached the point of “make or break” and I was so ready to receive this….despite my ego!!! Thank you for this so very much!

  12. Happy Belated Birthday Melanie! Thanks for addressing this! I have been dragging my feet and I didn’t know why. Especially since I KNOW I feel better each time. I read here that one can shift anywhere. I am going to memorize and take a cheat sheet for the process with me now! I tried a couple of times to shift “on the fly” but couldn’t remember the exact sequence. Plus I wasn’t sure if that would be effective to accomplish the rewiring. But now I’m going to! Thank you so much for this episode! Again, a very Happy belated Birthday to you! ??? Much love, Timothy

  13. Hi Melanie, thanks for your powerful advice and insight. My ego definitely resists the healing so its good to see ways of addressing it directly to get answers and down to those core wounds. A belated Happy Birthday to you. WOW, as someone already said, you don’t look your age at all- I would have put you in your 30’s!

  14. Dear Melanie Tonia Evans, my name is Alissa. I made the narcississist leave after 8 yrs. And a 6 yr old daughter. I moved into my family’s home and he came with for 2 weeks. I have been severely abused in all areas except sexually. I gave him the ultimatum of church and counseling for months so far he came to church once. Anyway I am trying hard to heal. I’ve been suicidal for 3 weeks and terrified my daughter will be left. I am seeking every support by still the pain is unbearable. He is living a a woman he left me for before and at that time I tried to commit suicide. She takes total care of him esp financially. I have been reading a lot of your posts and yesterday watched quanta healing session on YouTube Sandra. It besides God is only thing keeping me alive. My inner child beliefs even scare me. What do I do? And I’m on ssi are the healings expensive? And why am I suicidal? My thought is if he doesn’t actively love me im nothing and should severely hurt Never had this as bad w any man.

  15. Thanks Melanie, some very useful and profound words in your video. I’ve listened to it just now, and I’m going straight back to hear it all over again. It’s exactly what I need right now. Love and hugs x

Leave a Reply to Peter Cancel reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *