Comments on: How To Create A Healthy Relationship https://blog.melanietoniaevans.com/how-to-create-a-healthy-relationship/ Devastated by a narcissist? Melanie's Narcissism blog offers support & empowering tools to heal & thrive after narcissistic abuse, gain a new life & fulfilling relationships. Sat, 03 Sep 2022 15:01:53 +0000 hourly 1 By: Alayne https://blog.melanietoniaevans.com/how-to-create-a-healthy-relationship/#comment-1273303 Sat, 03 Sep 2022 15:01:53 +0000 https://blog.melanietoniaevans.com/?p=1854#comment-1273303 I’m new to the NARP community and I started my journey here believing I was in a horrible relationship with a narcist, but after reading this article I’m wondering how much of the ugliness wasn’t due to my own narcistic tendencies. I really have a long journey ahead of me to hopefully make things right, and I would say “again”, but my relationships have never been “right” in the first place.

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]]> By: Dalton https://blog.melanietoniaevans.com/how-to-create-a-healthy-relationship/#comment-455639 Wed, 14 May 2014 04:24:02 +0000 https://blog.melanietoniaevans.com/?p=1854#comment-455639 Quality articles is the important to be a focus for the viewers to pay a quick visit the site, that’s
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]]> By: http://people.tribe.net/877628c0-e05a-46d0-95be-d9aa35391c73/blog https://blog.melanietoniaevans.com/how-to-create-a-healthy-relationship/#comment-316204 Thu, 13 Mar 2014 04:58:35 +0000 https://blog.melanietoniaevans.com/?p=1854#comment-316204 Hi, for all time i used to check webpage posts here early in the dawn, for the reason that i enjoy to find out more and more.

]]> By: ron https://blog.melanietoniaevans.com/how-to-create-a-healthy-relationship/#comment-110518 Sat, 05 Oct 2013 13:32:55 +0000 https://blog.melanietoniaevans.com/?p=1854#comment-110518 Mel,

I awoke this morning with a heavy heart and so many thoughts on my mind. I have read this article before and commented, mostly in anger towards what I have been through recently. It has been 2 months and although Im still in pain I am gradually seeing that this person did me a favor by leaving, as harsh as she was in the way. After reading this again this morning you have litteraly brought tears to my eyes. It makes me realize a lot of things and they are not just about one bad relationship. It is a article on deep reflection and I guess wasnt quite ready to understand your true meaning. Your writing is beautiful and it’s up to us to follow through. Thank you for having the gift to give people insight. As bad as we can feel you are a testimony that hope and healing exists.

Ron

]]> By: Christina https://blog.melanietoniaevans.com/how-to-create-a-healthy-relationship/#comment-95693 Wed, 18 Sep 2013 17:39:49 +0000 https://blog.melanietoniaevans.com/?p=1854#comment-95693 I just found this website after searching for answers after a 7 1/2 month relationship with a Narc. It has helped me come to terms with how they operate and why I fell into that dance with him. It has been very hard to understand the reasons why someone would behave the way he behaved. I fell into it because he tapped into my own feelings of being unloved as a child.

When I first met him I was feeling really strong, but the insidious nature of his narcisstic behaviors were very confusing for me and I found myself being dragged into this old pattern of trying to understand why I could not be loved.

I am so grateful that I am done with him….moving on and understanding. I am feeling stronger again, but know I must continue the work I started so that I can truly love myself and allow it into my life.

Thank you very much for your insight!

Christina

]]> By: Melanie Tonia Evans https://blog.melanietoniaevans.com/how-to-create-a-healthy-relationship/#comment-83161 Tue, 10 Sep 2013 04:19:17 +0000 https://blog.melanietoniaevans.com/?p=1854#comment-83161 In reply to ron.

Hi Ron,

you are very welcome.

Truly there is a 90 / 10 rule with recovery.

90% focus on healing our own unhealed wounds – and only 10% focus (if that) on narcissistic information – once you have established ‘what a narcissist is’.

It is so important to not keep our focus on ‘them’ as a distraction from doing the real work on ourselves. That equals how to stay stuck.

There is no closure other than recognising and healing the parts of ourselves that attracted and maintained relationships with narcissists – and then all relief and empowerment is gained.

Many narcissists Ron have a ‘wonderful’ public persona – in fact most do.

Yes – absolutely they do. Narcissists are not brain-wired like non-narcissists. Their emotional intelligence is stifled somewhere between 3 – 7 years of age.

According to the self-absorbed narc – he or she was wronged (the dummy spit on not having the False Self catered to enough)…

The emotional intelligence to have compassion, empathy, a peripheral or any genuine understanding of their behaviour simply does not exist – just as a child throwing a tantrum can’t comprehend reality.

Mel xo

]]> By: ron https://blog.melanietoniaevans.com/how-to-create-a-healthy-relationship/#comment-82853 Tue, 10 Sep 2013 00:25:43 +0000 https://blog.melanietoniaevans.com/?p=1854#comment-82853 Mel,

Thanks for the kind words. It is a slow process but Im gaining the ground to healing. I find myself consumed by reading about narcissism lately. I guess I keep reading about it because I am still in utter disbelief. My findings and some of the blogs I have read are almost text for what I dealt with. She couldnt give me closure so I find myself looking for answers on the net. She was telling me she loved me on her way out the door heading to the guy she was already seeing. Vacationing with him, with her 6 year old daughter within 2 weeks of dropping me. Her daughter was hugging me goodbye the last day we were together. It has ripped me apart and it hurts terrible. This woman goes to church with her parents! She is a respected teacher and Im now hearing rumers she was asked to leave her last job for a relationship outside of school with an ex student. This woman, the first year together seemed like a saint. Nobody, family included saw this coming. As I said before I saw signs but again nobody is perfect and the average person would look at these things as just odd little behaviors. Can a narcissist really walk away with no feeling or remorse? I am completely baffled by this. I loved her and her daughter. I gave up so much for her and I just dont understand how I could be spit on like that. Can a person really blank out the dispicable things they do and still look in the mirror every day? I have read so much but can you please help me understand her thought process in a simple form. I think thats what a lot of us are trying to gain from reading these posts.

Your writing is spirtual and I do find your information very helpful. Thank you for the great work and commitment to to help us try to understand.

Ron

]]> By: Andrew https://blog.melanietoniaevans.com/how-to-create-a-healthy-relationship/#comment-75964 Sat, 31 Aug 2013 13:33:34 +0000 https://blog.melanietoniaevans.com/?p=1854#comment-75964 Hi Melanie,
Thankyou for the information in your radio programme.I lived on government handouts for 2 years because I did not want to work after all the abuse I put up with in my last job.Things are obviously on the up and I am waiting for those activities that bring me joy to come onto my radar. I’m not wasting my energy looking for them , I know they will show up without much effort.In the last 10 years I have either had therapy or received guidance from at least 7 women who have had their spiritual rebirth , but not one man. Why are the men who have had a spiritual rebirth so thin on the ground or maybe it’s just me and what I have attracted to me. I do have lovely aspects from my natal moon to north node, chiron and venus which denote a natural affinity with the divine feminine/holy spirit.Men need to be involved more as teachers and guides but they all will have to go through the divine feminine to get there , there is no way around it.
I feel like my memories of being told how bad I was as a child are causing me doubt my worth, I feel alot of pain and guilt, I think I will listen to a quanta healing module later.

Love and blessings

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