Comments on: How To Disempower The Narcissist https://blog.melanietoniaevans.com/how-to-disempower-the-narcissist/ Devastated by a narcissist? Melanie's Narcissism blog offers support & empowering tools to heal & thrive after narcissistic abuse, gain a new life & fulfilling relationships. Sun, 30 Oct 2022 10:49:11 +0000 hourly 1 By: L https://blog.melanietoniaevans.com/how-to-disempower-the-narcissist/#comment-1275709 Sun, 30 Oct 2022 10:49:11 +0000 https://blog.melanietoniaevans.com/?p=8658#comment-1275709 In reply to Me.

Oh my goodness, thanks so much for this! I have always felt my relationship as like me being the hot air balloon and him being the basket. While i am flying we are ok but if my energy dips, he will always drag us down. We are going through the separation process now. It is painful and triggering. Thanks for this post. I needed it.

]]> By: Melanie Tonia Evans https://blog.melanietoniaevans.com/how-to-disempower-the-narcissist/#comment-1258549 Sat, 30 Oct 2021 22:44:56 +0000 https://blog.melanietoniaevans.com/?p=8658#comment-1258549 In reply to LDW.

Hi LDW,

my highest suggestion for you is these three components.

NARP http://www.melanietoniaevans.com/narp as well as googling my name plus “our children” and “parallel parenting”.

These are the most successful combinations for parents in this community.

I hope that this helps.

Mel 🙏💞🦋

]]> By: LDW https://blog.melanietoniaevans.com/how-to-disempower-the-narcissist/#comment-1258323 Thu, 28 Oct 2021 11:00:23 +0000 https://blog.melanietoniaevans.com/?p=8658#comment-1258323 It is my love for my Children; them being the most special creation in my whole life, them being part of my heart and my heart beating for them. My life being for them and about them. The most intense feeling of love and connection that could ever be đź’•.

How do you heal from them being the one Bond that continues to be used to attack you and the main trigger of your trauma?

]]> By: Heidi https://blog.melanietoniaevans.com/how-to-disempower-the-narcissist/#comment-1258247 Wed, 27 Oct 2021 11:23:17 +0000 https://blog.melanietoniaevans.com/?p=8658#comment-1258247 In reply to Diane Berggren.

Hi Diane, I would love to talk to you if possible. I’m living in parental alienation as well, and having really hard time with it

]]> By: Not your property https://blog.melanietoniaevans.com/how-to-disempower-the-narcissist/#comment-1252927 Wed, 02 Jun 2021 18:09:21 +0000 https://blog.melanietoniaevans.com/?p=8658#comment-1252927 Narcissists are delusional. They are crap when you’re together then try to “get revenge” on you years after if they think your life is better than the irresponsible crap they continued to engage in and act like you owe them. They will seek revenge on you for what they did to you, if that makes any sense. They’re like the Gollum who thinks they deserve your life, friends, family or whatever they perceive to be cool or successful and therefore clearly their domain. And btw, we’re not your property.

]]> By: Lynne Hamilton https://blog.melanietoniaevans.com/how-to-disempower-the-narcissist/#comment-1252358 Sat, 15 May 2021 05:57:36 +0000 https://blog.melanietoniaevans.com/?p=8658#comment-1252358 It feels Clean, I feel the Light that is in my veins: my commitment to walk in the Truth is aided because I have replaced my stupid, false fantasy of my sons having a Father with the truth: it’s not him, never was, never will be. Their heavenly Father who breathed Life into them knows what they need, and wants to give it to them. I have been in the way, holding onto a person’s shriveled, warped, black little heart; hoping it would blossom into caring, into compassion towards them.
No more.

]]> By: Jo https://blog.melanietoniaevans.com/how-to-disempower-the-narcissist/#comment-1247721 Sat, 06 Feb 2021 14:10:05 +0000 https://blog.melanietoniaevans.com/?p=8658#comment-1247721 In reply to Me.

I think it would be worth redirecting that compassion towards yourself ♥️

]]> By: Maria https://blog.melanietoniaevans.com/how-to-disempower-the-narcissist/#comment-1246123 Sun, 10 Jan 2021 23:36:35 +0000 https://blog.melanietoniaevans.com/?p=8658#comment-1246123 I’m the middle child of three. I come from a Latin American household where machismo and mysoginism was the norm of the day treatment to the women of our family. I had to go ‘no contact’ with older brother due to his relentless abuse towards my existence (name calling, insults, even physically hurting me in many points of my life when we were growing up) once I became a single mom. My brother’s abuse towards me has been swept under the rug by my parents, my father blatantly stating he sees no abuse when he calls me a “moron a whore, you’re sick and always wrong” and my mother stating “she Can’t do anything about it”……..of course once I went ‘no contact” with abusive brother, my parents blame me for all of it……………………….I have been the scapegoated child ever since I can remember. I was raised thinking and even believing that the way I was being mistreated by brother and parents was actually normal….now I know it is anything BUT normal, its toxic, its abuse. My sister, the golden child, plays the role quite to the tee, she believes every lie my parents and brother tells her about me, she has tried to gaslight me but I have called her on to it, and since I am much older than her, I sense she doesn’t go full throttle on me with the scapegoating and gaslighting…she does pick on me and does covert shit like our mom and I know she talks behind my back to my gossipy mom and friends….then again she doesn’t know any better either nor is she the child being scapegoated since childhood…..she did though marry a person who gaslights her all the time and when you see her it is like she is dragging her life energy with exhaustion…. just like my father does to my mother. Brother in law plays the role of an abuse apologist to the tee: he knows my father abuses me and my mom and he acknowledges it (we have had the conversations) yet when it happens right in front of him, he turns away, he does not hold the abuser accountable, to then be super nice and friendly to the abusive parent….it is sickening to watch…….yet as my therapist has told me: each person in your family system is playing a role (even more so if the family system is dysfunctional as is mine) and you have to observe well to see what role each person plays to survive the dysfunctional family dynamic we are all into… well I have had enough. I am a single parent, I work my ass off, I maintain my household, I have a warm safe space home with my own child and I am done with feeling unloved and constantly invalidated by my parents……I know I have to detach, I know I have to move on, I know I have to consider other boundaries when having to deal with my parents……..I love them very much, yet I recognize I do not like them for the way they innately treat me: like shit, and when I try to talk to my mother about our unhealthy relationship she disses me and tells me to talk it out with my therapist, yet she puts up with all her husband’s abuse and she thinks she is so tough (when she acts out her sick and twisted conversions)…..I have told my father many times to come with me to therapy so as to address our toxic relationship and he looks at me as if I have just disrespected him………he is the kind of person to put a stigma on psychiatrists and psychologists and a stigma on mental health, he is the kind of person to think that if you suffer from anxiety or depression something is wrong with you and you are weak and damaged and not intelligent and you deserve to be scapegoated and abused…….I have to say it: I love my father yet I do not like him one bit…….we was generous to us financially while we were growing up, yet also very abusive verbally, mentally and emotionally. I do not know how I am going to free my soul from all the emotional pain I have accumulated through my Life. Apart from my dysfunctional family dynamic, I thrive in my work and I make a conscious daily effort to never ever treat my own child the way I was treated. I am raising my daughter to find her self worth within herself and not within the words or treatment of an abusive man or friend or father. I know I am still single because I have always unconsciously chosen abusive partners, and I leave when I realize that again I’ve been sucked into a dynamic that is so familiar and normal to me………I want to feel free of all the emotional pain, I want to not fear what is coming up once my parents realize I have detached from them and their sick toxic shenanigans at my mental/emotional expense…….

]]> By: Patricia https://blog.melanietoniaevans.com/how-to-disempower-the-narcissist/#comment-1245388 Sat, 12 Dec 2020 17:57:55 +0000 https://blog.melanietoniaevans.com/?p=8658#comment-1245388 I wanted to share with you my experience as it might be slightly different but maybe helpful. All my life I have attracted narcissists and I think it is because my parents were. Apparently I am one of those “empaths” who absorb energy and maybe that’s why I can sense evil or toxic people. It’s usually very clear who is good even if they are pretending. They still try though. I have had co-workers change their appearance to look like me and try to get into my files at work or get close to me for advancement. Recently, my neighbor began “stalking” and doing this creepy mimicking/copying thing where it feels like she wants my life and is trying to morph into me. So this is not an ex or a guy that likes me, it’s a straight female and it is freaking me out. For months she was following me but I kept ignoring her. Then she used to slam her door and yell and bang in her apartment.She did many things to get a reaction. She curses at her child and kicks her dog. Now She’s copied everything I wear and sometimes how I speak, she used to follow me and stare at me and was never friendly. I finally had enough and started parking where she couldn’t see and would think I was not home. I started hiding anything I brought home. She began parking in my old parking spot… this is how she revealed herself though so I knew what I was dealing with. At one point she was so pervasive I became really depressed and scared of her. I think this was my intuition warning me. Then I noticed that I finally became immune to it and I used it as a tool to better my life and heal just like you were saying. I did feel like someone was trying to steal my soul, like my energy was zapped and like someone had stolen something from me even after I stopped dealing with her. It’s so toxic. I have to be careful to stay off her radar because it’s bad. I see everyone scatters when she is home, like as soon as she gets home the other neighbors leave. Many have moved out because she was unstable and was taking her anger out on objects etc. I decided to stay and simply live my life, she can ruin her bank account with trying to one up me or copy me. At the end of the day she can never be me.

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