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When you have cleared much of the pain, and are no longer in survival mode – these questions may arise …

Who am I?

What’s next?

What am I supposed to be doing with my life now?

You may have an idea of what you want to do, but you feel stuck.

You may still feel some residual fear of going out there and getting what you truly want.

And as a result, you may feel like you aren’t getting anywhere.

What is going on when we feel like that? What have we missed?

Truly, I can’t tell you how much I relate to these feelings because this stage of the journey TOTALLY happened to me too!

Today, I’m so excited to share what I discovered about why we feel stuck … and how to use this time, not just for peace and acceptance, but to tap into the power and richness of our unfolding in ways we never previously knew.

When you embody the insights I share in this video, your life will start flowing powerfully … you will have all the energy, direction, support and ways you could dream of.

It really is that powerful!

 

 

Video Transcript

Welcome to the Thriver’s Life series … the creation of your highest and best life after narcissistic abuse.

Okay, before I get started on this week’s new series topic – I want to say that the response to the launch of this new series last week was beyond my wildest expectations.  And I am so thrilled that I can now focus on granting you the next empowered steps, the ones that I took, to help you really expand your life after narcissistic abuse.

Thank you, everyone, for your name suggestions and the effort and thought you put into these.

The MTE team chose ‘The Thriver’s Life Series’, and I want to thank Nancy for her suggestion – which encapsulates everything we want this new series to represent. And I love that this is about a solution – not just narcissistic abuse. At MTE and on this channel, we are all about the forward steps to heal and extraordinarily soar in our new abuse-free lives.

So, let’s get onto this week’s topic.

After narcissistic abuse recovery, there can be this thing … a lull, a feeling of ‘who am I now?’ We were so clogged up with trauma and surviving that after working hard to excavate it out – if we are working with NARP – there is all this space inside us that can feel much more pleasant than trauma … but it’s unfamiliar.

When we have shovelled out our previous identity that may have been attached to previous outer attachments that are all now gone, we have a fresh slate that may really not have much to it in the way of identity. And that can feel weird, vague and directionless … and empty.

This may make us feel like we have to get ‘out there’ and make something happen to give our inner void feeling some substance, yet often – at this stage – all of our attempts to do that feel flat or leave us coming up empty with this feeling ‘Well that wasn’t it!’

Since my human life has become totally Quantum, no longer do I ever believe the answers are ‘out there’. I truly believe all of it, without exception, is born from within. And … I’m such a fan of inner alignment to get to the truth of how to engineer our life from the inside out and successfully integrate with Quantum Law – so within, so without.

Initially, getting linked into how to make the cogs of life work for us instead of against us is counter-intuitive to doing what we think we should be doing.

 

What Is Next?

To cover this topic today, we must look deeply at all the foundations. So, I will talk to those of you still in narcissistic abuse pain as well as those in the stage of ‘what is next’.

Let’s dive into this: In the past, as beings living life from the outside in, we needed something or someone to have in our life to feel whole.  And then, with what we all went through due to narcissistic abuse, we lost something or someone anyway and returned to square one – empty.

But there was a massive purpose for that: to turn inwards and integrate – meaning to self-partner with, love and accept ourselves finally. The only way to do this is to meet warts and all – meaning traumas. And be full with ourselves unconditionally, meaning no more self-abandoning or self-avoiding and trying to get other people and things to take the pain away.

Only through this conjoining with our underworld, our true inner being, no matter what its state, can we graduate from our Old False Self (distorted by human trauma) to start claiming the power, magnificence and miracles of our True Self. This is the hero’s journey, which many people never take, and those who do wonder why they didn’t do it earlier.

What is our true power? It knows how to work with the Universe inside us to unfold it into the Universe outside of us. At a Quantum Level, this goes beyond the Law of Attraction, which has many philosophical gaps.

Quantum Law is all about growth and graduation. It is about ‘be’-coming and accepting and integrating all of the stages we are perfectly in as we be-come.

During narcissistic abuse, we aimed to integrate with ourselves to survive and recover; you may still be there for many of us. And it is so important to accept that mission and make your recovery and healing your greatest personal quest ever – because your entire life depends on it. You need a master’s degree in this if you want to do a fabulous job and graduate with honours. If you try to push through and spiritually bypass this stage of soul graduation with outer achievements and other worldly pursuits, you are missing the essential soul evolution lesson.

Which is: Releasing the Old Self who was battling with handing power away and trying to assign False Sources as your power source and therefore struggling to be authentic, self-generative, safe and powerful … into the be-coming of Who You Really Are, a person organically connected to the flourishing and nourishing of life, which wants for you exactly what you want, which is your highest super-conscious potential.

Meaning being able to generate your truest personal values and therefore create and maintain true love and abundance, which is your birthright to live. And unless we fully accept and nestle into this stage and work with it, we don’t get the graduation out to the other side. If we condemn this stage, try to avoid it and hate it, we are stuck there as long as it takes for our graduation.

Sadly, for many people, that may take lifetimes. I can’t tell you how sobering that was for me – that made me say, ‘Inner work, here I come, I am NOT doing this for lifetimes on end again – NO way!

 

Meeting And Healing Our Inner Being

Okay, the total mission and purpose after narcissistic abuse – Number 1 – is: meeting and healing our inner being, period. There is nothing and no one more important than that. You are not just evolving your soul, and you are saving it and saving every future soul and generation that could be impregnated by you leaving unhealed trauma in your soul – which is another sobering thought.

But after narcissistic abuse and working really hard at our recovery, we may be very surprised that we have not just started generating all that great stuff yet. And we may feel an inner emptiness or even feel like a ship without a rudder, directionless and purposeless.

Here we have another level of the Quantum game of be-coming to graduate.

Imagine you are a character in a computer game, and you are on level 6 … it’s barren and dark, and you can’t see anything. You want to bypass it, you don’t want to play that level, yet until you settle into it, find its components, and master it, you can’t get to level 7.

You may not have realised that you are in a dark/light alchemy level. From space comes pure potential. In the nothingness is the seed of everything-ness. In this void of ‘what’s next’ is space itself that holds the pure potential of your entire highest life … which is so much more superior and powerful than the false substitute of trying to get out of the void and then bring something else back in it to fill it up.

Are you sensing what I mean? Because some part of your cellular knowing knows what I am saying is true, the universe inside you is the space of infinite consciousness you need to integrate with to unfold your highest potential, callings, joy, abundance and a true soul purpose.

And I’m not talking about sitting with your legs crossed and eyes closed ohhming every morning until your answer comes. I am talking about doing something so much easier than that, which is exactly what I did when I started opening up to and allowing pure potentiality to flow through me.

 

Be-Coming

What I am suggesting urging you to do to unlock this next stage of your be-coming, is to align your belief systems to Quantum Truth. So that the old limited you, who couldn’t even conceive, formulate and much less engineer all the permutations necessary to bring about your highest life, get right out of the way.

Nothing less than subconscious reprogramming can get us there, I believe – because truly, our old human conditioned beliefs have stripped us of our true God-self power and have thwarted us from aligning with the truth of Who We Really Are and what we are capable of producing.

Okay, these are the previous beliefs that most of us carry in our DNA that I believe need to be released and replaced with the true powerful inner identity beliefs that I list after these:

‘My life requires struggle, hard work and suffering to get ahead.’

To be reprogrammed with:

God / Source / Creation wants for me and grants me what I want: my greatest love, joy, success and abundance.

‘I have to try to think up what I am supposed to find.’

To be reprogrammed with:

All of Life flowing through me brings the feelings, inspirations and ways to bring Who I Truly Am, as my most magnificent self, into physically expressed reality.

‘I have to work out what the world needs me to be.’

To be reprogrammed with:

I am bringing forth my unique contribution, which the world needs from me.

Okay, so this is the thing … if you know your calling and direction, then all you need to do is keep clearing away, within your subconscious, the limiting beliefs that stop you from being that person.

Growth, be-coming, and getting to the next evolutionary game level are all about breaking through previous comfort zones, being and doing who and what we never have.

If this is a soul calling you, absolutely you have what it takes, even if you have never done these things before – I promise you your soul has a human collective as well as a past life cellular memory, it is already a master at these things, wanting to express the truth of who you already are.

 

Conclusion

So many of us, in this time, have come here to do what we didn’t get done last time, and I can almost feel souls stirring in deep recognition of this. It is your time Dear Soul to unlock, remember and be who you really are!

If you don’t know your directions and purpose yet and are still healing from abuse, please know this: You are your purpose, the healing of your inner universe. That is the NARP work or using another deep-body modality that can release and reprogram trauma from your Inner Identity.

If you have done this, and you are up to the next level, the place of ‘who am I?’ and ‘there seems to be only emptiness now,’ you are up to the stage of working with the belief systems that I have granted you today – which are the same ones I reprogrammed within myself.

And as well as doing those, I would suggest setting up the Goal Setting Module in NARP and clearing all resistance to the goal ‘I am totally at one with the nothingness within, which contains my truest and highest life and be-coming.’

That’s powerful stuff when you do that!

I promise you when you are in this alignment for the sake of being the alignment, not attached to any outcomes, your true life will appear and start flowing through you so powerfully that you will have all the energy, direction, purpose, support and ways that you could dream of.

Also, you can do lots of specific reprogramming to bring your new and true life into reality in my Empowered Self Course, which dovetails with this new ‘The Thriver’s Life Series’.

So, I can’t wait to partner with you on your comments and questions regarding this episode, and I’d love to hear how you feel about the new name ‘The Thriver’s Life’.

And remember, after narcissistic abuse recovery, gloriously, we take it further!

Why?

Because we CAN!

Lots of love, bye bye.

 

Join My FREE 16-Day Recovery Course to Begin
Healing from Narcissistic Abuse

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Commments (66) + Leave a comments

66 thoughts on “How To Find Direction When You Feel Stuck

  1. Thanks, Melanie

    this is so what I need to be hearing… I have always struggled to be something… yet I have encountered voids many times in my life and came to love them – from the void all things were possible… but I do think that I was “waiting” for the “something” that would be revealed rather than just being in the void.

    You are so right the strangeness of the space that opens after changing one’s inner world / the void can push one into “the doing of things” rather than allowing the becoming… I am SO glad you have reminded me of this lesson which I have found so difficult to hold in my CoDependancy with doing.

    “The Thriver’s Life” is just right! So glad this series has been launched just as I started NARP – a message from the universe to me I think!

  2. Hi Melanie!

    I LOVE the new series name “The Thrivers Life”……because it is me. You have helped me more than you will ever know. Unless you’ve lived with a narcissist, you don’t just “let go and walk away” as most people think.
    After being with my ex since I was 16 (now 51), he walked out when I was 49. I grew up with him. We were married for 27 of those years. I used to say “oh that’s how “he” is” when he treated me bad. He made me feel like I was crazy….you and everyone else here knows everything that goes on, and how we are treated. I do now take my responsibility for my part. I allowed it. Even though I knew something wasn’t right, I just knew he’ll see what he has someday, he didn’t mean what he said because no one could be that cruel….he said he loved me right?!?!?!
    I listen to one of your videos daily. It keeps me in check. Reminds me that it was a false person that I loved. Since he’s gone and with a new supply, I have stayed the course. I was a stay at home mom for 20 years. I have worked the past two years at an elementary school with pre-school kids. I LOVE IT! It’s what I’m suppose to do. I need them more than they need me. After I got over the “I was suppose to be retired and living on a boat at 55”, I’m going college for the first time to become a pre-school/kindergarten teacher.
    Even though I know this is what I am on this earth for (along with my 2 kids) and I know I’m going in the right direction, I have many times said my future is like looking into a black hole. Just empty. (Sad part is, I felt the same way when I was married.) Even slowly working on the modules (when I can find time). It’s hard to “just be”. I feel lonely even though I have friends. When my mind wanders he comes back in and I think about my whole marriage being a lie. I tell myself that there is something great waiting for me….just keep going forward, do the work on yourself.
    I am a much stronger person, my kids tell me how proud they are of me and I know I have a ways to go, but I wanted to thank you and thank the people that post replies…..I know I’m not alone.
    You are a true gift to me…..Thank you🌈

    1. Hi Connie,

      Awww sweetheart that is huge that you have only been with him in your entire adult life …

      You have done such a brilliant job of getting this far, and I’d really love you to connect into the NARP Forum to have coaching and support with how to break through certain inner beliefs and traumas when in need.

      The inner work truly is key to getting out the other side of this.

      The Forum link if you don’t have it is this: https://www.melanietoniaevans.com/member

      I hope this helps and sending hugs and love.

      Mel 🙏💕❤️

    2. OMG!!!!
      Reading your story is like reading mine… we got together age 17, married 27 years, he left age 49 with new supply! I’m now 53, 3 kids & im a nurse. Ready for new direction in life, finding courage to face fears of loneliness, abandonment, the unknown & new realities of life. Learning how to let life just happen… patience & faith! Still in a divorce battle though with ongoing emotional/verbal abuse, manipulation. Have had to cut off all contact , lawyers only.
      My heart feels for you & know I feel total empathy for your journey. I admire your strength & movement forward! You definitely are not alone! Many hugs!!!!

  3. Hi Melanie

    I have always been an anxious person but I have been travelling quite well recently, doing the modules regularly for over a year and feeling more detached from the narcissist and the outcome of our property settlement. But suddenly I’ve had two really debilitating panic attacks in the space of a week. I’ve never experienced anything like this before and they were so incredibly frightening – I’m terrified about having another one. Just thinking about it makes my heart start racing. I’m seeing my GP about this tomorrow but I was wondering if you have any advice? Is there a particular module I should turn to?

    Rx

    1. Hi Rebecca,

      Please please know sweetheart that when a big trauma presents, (as it can in the form of intense feelings such as a panic attack) if we bless and accept it and go inside to load it up and release it with NARP we get an incredible up-level to the next level of our healing.

      That is what I would suggest to do, breathe into your inner being with love to help her release and heal from this trauma which is now screaming to be released.

      Module 1 shortened version is very effective for doing this. Also I highly recommend the NARP Forum to help hold your hand through this https://www.melanietoniaevans.com/member

      I so hope this can help.

      Mel 🙏💕

      1. Hi Mel, I am delighted to hear that there are shortened versions. I am a member and have the 10 NARP Modules. Kindly advise how can I access the shortened versions for top ups?

    2. Hello Rebecca

      This happened me too and it was very scary – I had no idea what was going on. I saw them as panic attacks but I believe they are actually what is termed emotional flashbacks. I hope Mel won’t mind me posting this on here but I found Pete Walker’s book very helpful – Complex PTSD: From Surviving To Thriving. He also has details about managing emotional flashbacks on his website. I wish you all the best with this – I totally understand how distressing this is.

      Thanks once again to Mel for all her help. I am loving this new series. Again synchronicity 😀 It has come at the perfect time for me. I feel I am in the void at the moment and have been feeling a bit stuck for a while.

      1. Hi AngelaA,

        I totally don’t mind people sharing resources, but please know I am such an advocate for completely releasing and reprogramming our trauma so that we are released into a life without having to battle managing it, researching it or further integrating it as our reality to have to live with.

        If it no longer exists, which it doesn’t after the NARP work, we are in a completely different level of life than trying to survive trauma.

        We are free to Thrive.

        That is the level of healing we can all do now (with whatever Quantum / Body process we choose) as a step up from previous ways to heal.

        I am so pleased this new series Angela has come at the right time for you and I can’t recommmend enough that you access my free webinar and discover and feel the powerful inner shift in my healing methods https://www.melanietoniaevans.com/freewebinar

        Many blessings to you.

        Mel 🙏💕❤️

        1. Thanks Mel. I already have NARP + Empowered Self + Family of Origin programs. I have been working NARP since August last year 😀 It has transformed my life and I honestly don’t know where I would be without it – I cannot thank you enough 😀 I shyed away from the cognitive side for a long time because I shifted a lot of stuff in NARP but there were some pieces of the puzzle which were incomplete and I needed to understand why – and Pete Walker helped me with this. But I wouldn’t have been able to ‘hear’ what he was saying without NARP I am sure. I use the two in conjunction now and if a lot comes up when reading the book I shift it out with a NARP healing.

    3. Hi Rebecca!

      I am at module 8 and from module 7 was the hardest to continue to heal. After shifting in a day I had nightmares and felt more triggered with everything like noises, too much people around me. So I toke a break for a week because of this and felt bad to continue but after a week I felt worth that I did not continue so naturally was easier to continue than to feel stuck again. After few week is better and easier to continue.If your brain full of too much info just take break and when you feel just continue. It is not easy but helps you to understand yourself better.

  4. Hi Melanie! Love the new name the Thriver’s Life!

    Wow, another powerful video so thank you a million times.

    I have gone through your NARP program and even still today, when things come up whether it’s a trigger or bad memory etc, I always go back to Module I to clear out the negativity and go directly to the real wound that is keeping me in a place that no longer serves me. I think everyone should be doing this, regardless of narcissistic abuse. There have been times however where I think to myself, “now what?”

    I like and love the idea of creating a story board for myself. I create a story board of all of my dreams and things I’d like to accomplish moving forward and by just putting a picture book of sorts together, it makes it that much more exciting to visualize it. I’m having fun with it! But more importantly, it’s becoming more of a reality for me.

    Next, and thanks to you, I really dig into Katherine Woodward Thomas’ work. Although I am not connecting with it in a powerful way just yet, her ideas, thoughts and words are something to think about. And so I do think about them.

    I like being my own project. I like building my life brand new. Sure, sometimes I ask myself “what next” but this too take times, just like my healing and recovery from narc abuse.

    I think I am on the right track………and how I know this is that I am so much more happier with me, my life and everything in it.

    1. Hi Linda,

      I’m glad you love the new name and you are very welcome.

      That is so great that you just release any resistance / trauma you have in your body with Mod 1 each time it appears.

      That is exactly what I do with Quanta Freedom Healing too. You are so right this is about any limiting belief in our life!

      I am so happy for you that you are doing so well. You deserve this growth and freedom.

      Mel 🙏💕❤️

  5. Melanie,
    Words can sometimes be clumsy when trying to describe something that is so important, accessible, needed and spiritual. Thank YOU for your work in the world. I was in a painful and stuck place today. I find your thoughts and encouragement (along with friends, yoga, meditation, NARP recovery work, therapist, medication, good diet, etc., etc.) to be essential to my recovery. While I am sorry for the pain you have experienced, your wisdom from that pain runs deep, wide and is so needed by us all. Again, thank you

    1. Awww Maryann,

      Thank you for your beautiful words, and for being an example of self love and self care to becomes as healthy as possible.

      Our world needs that level of personal responsibility.

      Love and blessings to you!

      Mel 🙏💕❤️

  6. Dearest Mel –

    I am soooooo humbled and honored to have inspired you to name this series one of my suggestions!

    Your efforts have inspired me so very much and made such a difference in my life – MY THRIVER’S LIFE!

    Thank you.

    Hugs and lots of love,
    Nancy

  7. Fabulous name Mel “ The Thrivers Life Series”. ..Your suggestion regarding using the Goal Setting Module? Clearing resistance to “ I am totally at one with the nothingness within…” So I haven’t done it yet but resistance is jumping up because I don’t feel any nothingness within…I feel ,what..all of life / Spirit…within…perhaps its space / infinity within…maybe I’m not following clearly? gosh I better do the module, the resistance is strong..what am I missing…thank you Melanie, much love and hugs 🌷💗

  8. This is exactly what I needed today. I have spent the last weeks in this state of who am I? What’s next? Feeling so empty and dark and like maybe it was all for nothing. That none of it mattered … that I survived, but for what? I feel your words resonating and tiny pin pricks of light are beginning to penetrate the paper bag covering my head… Many Thanks!

  9. Hi Mel!
    Thank you so much for this great serie! I love reading about all this ☺
    I,ve been Narping for a half year now, after being abused all my life by my narc parents.
    I feel much stronger and I have much more energy than before. I,ve taken up a study to become a Life Coach, I love the study ( it even has a book that mentions quantum physics ☺) I so want to begin the next chapter of my life, have the career and financial abundance that I want, plus a loving relationship with a great partner. But i,m still in that void, and I am starting to get inpatient 😉
    I wanna know what I,m meant to do on this earth, I know it has something to do with helping others, but I don’t know exactly how….
    Do you mean that I should fully accept my situation now, in order to evolve further. To accept the feeling of the void and the not knowing? And how do I get clarity on this?
    I feel a bit stuck on how to grow into my highest potential.

    Love,

    Laura

  10. Hi Melanie, this was lovely to listen to and completely where I am at, even though there are still some residual wounds that I know need healing at a deeper level. I love your work, your authenticity and the empowerment you inspire in so many of us who are, or have been through narcisstic abuse. I so resonate with every word. You have helped me through this tough, dark tunnel of finding and partnering myself. Thank you and keep up the great work you are doing.

  11. Dear Melanie,

    Thank you for coming up with this new and much-needed series (good name of course!). It has come when I am, as you say, “in a lull”, feeling inner emptiness and wondering how to make something of my life and myself, how to find the next rung of the ladder etc.

    I have got stuck with he Empowered Self course, but in spite of my slow progress (my evaluation) I know things have changed for me; friends tell me they love me and following a tip from my son I applied for a temporary job as an assistant with some designers during Paris Fashion Week. Although I have a totally atypical profile I got the job. I am so excited and I’ being kind to myself about it – instead of thinking I can’t do this I can say that I really believe I’ll be just right for the post! New people to meet, new experiences – what more could I want right now?

    And of course it’s all thanks to NARP!! And NARP exists thanks to you Melanie,
    Many thanks and much love
    Tuesday

    1. Hi Tuesday,

      I am so pleased this was timely for you!

      Your breakthroughs are big Tuesday! Well done you are doing a fabulous job.

      I am so pleased you connected to the inner work to unlock your True Self.

      Mel 🙏💕❤️

  12. Hi Mel,

    The NARP program and your vidoes have greatly impacted my life. I was so tired of doing what I was doing and I knew I needed to change something to be able to move forward for the sake of my sanity and health. I was tired to not being my true self and adapting survival techniques. Over the past year my anxiety and a secret dread I carried within me have disappeared. I love my new self. Kudos on this new video, it’s great. Keep up the good work.

    1. Hi Seema,

      That is wonderful NARP has helped you and I am thrilled for you.

      Those previous emotions are not fun! How awesome you have been released into your True You.

      Mel 🙏💕❤️

  13. This article was the need of the time I am going through.Its like u know so perfectly mam that what’s the next lesson that i should learn.

    Thank u v much.

    True love n understanding comes just from u.

  14. Hi Melanie Tonia Evans,

    Thank you for everything you have advised. In fact I was in ..”What next after surviving…?” My dear, ‘The Thriver’s Life Series’ is exactly what i required for my what next question, although its like it had started flowing automatically awaiting your confirmation that i am Thriving after survival.

    Sweet Melanie I really like everything in here but this part is WOW “….All of Life flowing through me brings the feelings, inspirations and the ways to bring Who I Truly Am, as my most magnificent self into physical expressed reality ….” Very true because it was only last week when i got the courage to register with MOTHERS’ UNION group in our church and the ordination will be in September 2018.

    This week i will be having my first fellowship with local women which i have never thought of inviting in to my home, yesterday for the first time, i had Choir members at home for fellowship though i had no much to say, i am grateful that the life flowing through me will bring the feelings of recovery and power in to my inner space.

    With all this and hope much will flow automatically without struggle, I can say as you have said that “….All of Life flowing through me brings the feelings, inspirations and the ways to bring Who I Truly Am, as my most magnificent self into physical expressed reality ….”

    Thank you dear and God bless you and all Thrivers as well.

    1. Awww Rebecca,

      Thank you for your beautiful note.

      You are an expression of Divinity right there.

      Thank you for your blessings to all of us and sending many to you.

      Mel 🙏💕❤️

      1. Thank you dear, say that again and again because I feel DIVINITY is in me since my youth but fear of PUBLIC SPEAKING, FORMULATING & EXPRESSION.

        Please help me ERADICATE FEAR FOR GOOD.

  15. Thank you Mel for yet another wake up call video…..might I say perfect timing too.

    I suffered sociopathic abuse more than 16 years ago and am still traumatized by the experience even though I exited and did the whole no contact thing for a long time the trama is still in my own body and now my life has come to a total stand-still. I really want to buy your program but I am experiencing brain freeze and just feel the emotions of victimized anguish all the time and am still in the despair of it. I can see the connection between childhood trauma and cellular trama and have connected dots logically and tried to self heal this way by journaling the pain away but it just does not seem to work at all and now I know why – the void you were talking about well low and behold!

    With the brain freeze I seem to have like I am living in some kind of haze I have found I become like this after crying spells from trying to self manage and my question is how does NARP shift that?

    You make a heck of a lot of sense dear lady…..thank you

    1. Hi Shina,

      Please do know that NARP is the solution and it really is a matter of following the instructions.

      And we have an incredibly loving and supporting Forum to help hold you and guide you every step of the way.

      https://www.melanietoniaevans.com/member

      I hope you make this step sweetheart, because truly ‘what else is there to do?’ Most people when they do, and start the work, feel like this ‘why didn’t I just do this earlier?’

      You’ve got this Shina and we have got you. We will be your wings until you grow your own.

      Mel 🙏💕❤️

      1. Thank you dear, say that again and again because I feel DIVINITY is in me since my youth but fear of PUBLIC SPEAKING, FORMULATING & EXPRESSION.

        Please help me ERADICATE FEAR FOR GOOD.

  16. Please be blessed abundantly for the below promise because to me it will come to reality, copied and pasted as it is,

    “….I promise you, when you just are this alignment for the sake of being the alignment, not attached to any outcomes, your true life will appear and start flowing through you so powerfully you will have all the energy, direction, purpose, support and ways that you could dream of.

    Also, you can do lots of specific reprogramming to bring your new and true life into reality in my Empowered Self Course which dovetails with this new ‘The Thriver’s Life Series’.

    Thank you so much.

  17. Awesome video! Love it! Absolutely incredible amount of truth. Wow! Thank you so much for this new series. I am not at all interested in the narcissistic abuse side of things. I appreciate so much the healing mindset. Cool hat btw.

  18. You always share so much and I wanted to give something back. I wanted to share an incredibly simple and powerful healing technique called Ho’oponopono, created by Dr. Hew Len. It is absolutely in line with what you teach regarding our subconscious minds; so within, so without; cleaning up the negative data, etc. It’s just a very simple technique I use in conjunction with NARP, and compliments it beautifully. It allows me to stay on track all day long in between module work. Thanks for all that you do.

  19. Great video Mel. I love your analogies – “like being in a video game in the dark and having to feel your way around to get to the net level.” That really hit home! Love ya!

  20. Great video Mel. I love your analogies – “like being in a video game in the dark and having to feel your way around to get to the next level.” That really hits home! Love ya!

  21. HI Mel,
    So I have done so much shifting and cleaning up all the wounds, I feel it’s a life time of work and need to regularly go back and do the modules yet I feel ready for the next stage. So I ‘ve met a few men since and I am so so self aware and feel like I keep on locking my padock. My eyes and ears are so attuned, my antenna are super sensitive to what’s out there, is this normal. Or maybe there is a module for trusting others but I just can’t right now. I keep asking questions and understanding.
    Thanks for your constant wisdom you share with the world love jax

    1. Hi Jacqui,

      My first suggestion would be to target and shift the beliefs ‘I have a life time of wounds to clear’ because that makes it all very heavy rather than the Source Truth on that topic which is ‘continual uplevelling, expansion and excitement to unlock and enter new and wonderful trajectories!’ (Which is that NARP allows us to do!)

      Ok also I would suggest googling my name and the word ‘trust’ and you will find many resources to help you on this topic.

      I hope this helps.

      Mel 🙏💕❤️

  22. I love this Mel! You have perfectly described the place I have been in which I couldn’t describe or understand but knew I needed to be there. The void is valuable and uncomfortable for this doer and person who always feels they need to fix things and make stuff happen. I recently shifted into a different mind set…. including setting boundaries & choosing relationships that are healthy with friends, family and coworkers. It’s hard and painful at times but I’m learning in this master class that it is necessary for healthy living and thriving. It’s freedom I’ve never known. I’m not apologetic and I’m focused to live my best life and provide the healthiest life & example for my children. ❤️❤️

  23. Thanks for this new series, Mel. I had begun to grow tired of hearing about the narcissist. That’s always a good sign.

    I used to have a misguided, fear-based belief that focusing on myself was a narcissistic trait that needed to be avoided at all cost. When we’re in any type of relationship with a narc especially if we’re children, it can take some time to figure out the difference between self-care and selfish and if we’re Empaths we’re horrified at the idea of being selfish and hurting other people in the way that the narc’s selfishness hurt us. I believe that’s one of the reasons so many of us go into healing professions. You have to take care of yourself in order to truly help others so then there’s no guilt or fear about taking care of ourselves because the self-care is built into the job. When I started doing NARP it was just for me. No one else. The guilt and fear that I was being selfish started to fall away. It’s lovely to be in this space of self-love, self-care without any guilt or fear. It’s lovely to experience the proper version of self-care. Life has been so good I catch myself just grinning for no particular reason all the time. It’s been a long time since I’ve felt this kind of peace. The Thriver’s Life. Yes, it is.

  24. My inner child needs love,respect, guidance,healthy stimulation,fun,meaningfulness,sense of self worth and joy.How can I grant it to it?

  25. 💕💕
    looooove new name !!
    i’ve watched this video 4 times now
    and this time at the end, when you said ‘because we can’, i immediately felt myself say ‘and because i truly *want* to!!!

  26. Hello! I am so Happy to have found your website!!
    I left my husband 3 months ago because his mother is a Maternal Narcissist, so of course I was abused & tortured by her & he is a Malignant Narcissist & has Psychopathic tendencies. I do realize these 2 are almost one in the same. Fortunately, when I left, I had already started educating myself on the 2 of them. That was the sole reason I left. I moved back home, 3 states away & I’m actually doing rather well, considering it was like they were doing a tag team match on me 24/7.
    I’m writing to you today because I have a very close friend who’s gf is most definitely a Narc. They’ve been together for 3 yrs. She moved into his home that he owns basically, as soon as they started dating, of course, and after she did a rather magnificent display of Love Bombing. I know you’re familiar with this story. He desperately wants her out but, he absolutely can NOT handle the drama & aggression he knows predictably, will ensure. He dreads it to the point that it makes him physically sick to even think about it. She is using him financially. She rarely & I do mean RARELY works & he pays every single bill while she & her family have literally taken over his home to the point he doesn’t even feel comfortable in his own house. I read a brief comment that referenced Gray Stone. Could you please give me as much information on that as possible? I made the suggestion, that since he dreaded her confrontational meltdown, for him to go No Contact immediately. I told him to find another place to stay for a month or so, change his number, write her a letter (& I was willing to help him) specifically laying out in great detail that he is done, she has 30 days to vacate etc etc but he just isn’t there yet because he actually afraid of hurting her. Of course, I’ve tried repeatedly to get him to understand that her words are empty, she has never loved him, therefore the only thing he’s hurting is her comfortable life style & would be terminating her control & abuse. He truly is miserable. Any suggestions on how I can get thru to him. I’d love for him to be able to access your website but that absolutely can’t happen coz she checks his phone on the regular.
    Any info would be greatly appreciated.
    Sincerely,
    Kim Griggs

  27. Aloha Melanie,

    I am pretty certain that I am in a Narcissistic relationship, I was enlightened by his ex of many moons ago and she has continued to be my rock throughout this whole dysfunctionally immoral relationship.
    I met mine last year, of course after having suffered a massive head injury, there is a possibility of major lack of clarity on my part due to the injury. When I initially met him I was not impressed and as a matter of fact, completely disgusted and never even wanted to speak to him. Of course this made him pursue me harder. I agreed to friendly dinners strictly platonic, then a close friend of mine landed in ICU on life support and my focus all changed and I was in an emotional state for a time. The vulture swooped in and helped me pick up the pieces and of course devoted himself entirely to me. He had us married and living happily ever after one week into our relationship!!!
    I believe my situation carried on as the usual, loving and caring man, convinces me to move to his home(which his mother left to him), did I mention that he’s 61? I just turned 50, and I am a very outgoing gal originally from Boston so I am not afraid to stand my ground. I was making an upward of 10k a month before my head injury then it dwindled understandably, I needed to figure out how to maintain my life and my family’s life a with this injury, he was there the whole way.
    We moved to his place, turns out he didn’t have electricity and we lived like grizzlies for over six months. My mother, my 9 year old son and myself. Turns out the live if my life turned out to be a Meth Addict of 30 years. Great.
    All in all, my story is pretty much the same as the others that i have read accept for I found out that he was cheating with his ex, an older desperate And very physically unattractive woman that has a few bucks do she was showering him with gifts and money.he asked me to marry him an actually proposed with a ring so were engaged last Feb 13, 2018 he freaking married this woman behind my back in a thrown together backyard wedding on July 29, 2018 while I am at the vet with HIS dog spending my money because the poor dog had a massive ear infection . I found put after a week, if course while i was at a potential job he decided to throw the wrench out there, needless to say i didn’t get the job. Anyhoo, I lived with him until November, I did not have the money to go anywhere. He had sabotaged everything and now he knew where I was. If I went to the store and lingered just looking I would get the third degree as to why I took so long or who was i with??? The store takes 5 minutes to get to so 10 minutes travel time and shopping 10 minutes, who were you with??? Complete insanity. If there was a line I would lose my bearings, I would start literally flipping out trying to find a way to pay and go in order to avoid an interrogation. Regardless, I would be back in 30 minutes and he would insist that i was gone for over an hour and tbe argument would carry through to the next day or until he would up and go to that ridiculous woman’s house.
    So I finally got our with my family, he still cones around witb the lies of me being the one that he loves and he made a huge mistake. That’s hilarious considering she’s moving into his house and he’s still married.
    The only thing that i have been able to maintain is my self esteem. I am not oblivious to having been a fool but I do know that i am a good woman, I know that i am still very attractive and look great for my age and that I am better than this and too good for this person. I have morals and was raised witb good stock, I will not allow this guy to take everything from me. I am taking my life back bit by bit, I have ended it with him over and over only to get a response as usual that i am the one yet here i am living on the other side of town while that woman is still in his house. I know you will say she is a victim but she is not, she was well aware of me and knew that i lived tbere with my mom and my boy and she pushed the wedding as fast as she could to ensure her place so she is a nasty desperate woman that probably deserves everything coming her way.
    I am damaged, I have zero faith in men at this point and I feel used and decieved. I am holding my head up and I am trying even though my obstacles are much harder than ever before, I am still trying my very best. I feel that I am still in love with this monster so he still has that grip on my heart but I need to have a life, a full life not this tidbit crap that i am getting. I am not the gal that has ever stood for such treatment, why in the hell am I even in this situation???

    Mahalo🌺🌺🌺
    Steph

    1. Hi Steph,

      It is beyond any normal understanding for us when we logically know how terrible these people are, yet it can feel almost impossible to let them go.

      Please know Steph that there is something very deeply unconscious – in regard to our ingrained parts – that causes this feeling. It was the same for virtually every single one of us.

      To get ‘clean’ and ‘free’ it takes inner work – the finding and releasing ourselves from these parts within us that keep holding us in emotional bondage.

      That is what my recovery work is about and I’d love you to learn more.

      The starting point is here: http://www.melanietoniaevans.com/freecourse

      I hope that helps.

      Mel 🙏💕❤️

  28. As Always… perfect timing.. spot on ..thankyou Mel for lighting the way….

    I’m soooooo grateful

    lots of love and light to you and your team always…

    Zoe xxx

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