Hi Luann,

that is great you are going to re-engage…

That is where the REAL work is that gets so many people in this community up and out! Not trying to heal though our minds, going straight to the emotion using QFH and transforming as a direct ‘hit’…

If you really commit now and ‘go in’ this time regularly and do the work you will see huge and fast progress, relief and clarity.

Mel xo

Well I am now. I bought it months ago and did one session. Then did what I always do…stopped doing it.

But your post prompted me to start again. And after a bad day full of triggers, I made good on a promise to myself.

It’s apparent I have a long way to go but on the other hand I made many discoveries tonight.

Thanks Mel.
I appreciate you.

Hi Luann,

Can you please answrer this for me…Are you doing NARP?

Because wheat I am hearing is the struggle between mind and emotions, rather than doing the work to shift the emotions DIRECTLY and the associated belief systems that are pointing you in the direction you don’t want to travel.

Mel xo

I’ve been in a vicious cycle MY WHOLE LIFE…not being “the finger pointer”…but “the fixer”…FOR EVERYONE…but…MYSELF. Sigh. This last relationship wasn’t “the first” with a N. Just the first…”I opened my eyes to”…and literally hit rock bottom. Thanks to a Women’s Challenge class I participated in recently-only then did I come to the realization that MOST of the people in my life (family/friends) were TOXIC. This last relationship was sooo toxic-it literally made me almost “check-in” somewhere. Even after this “realization”-I don’t finger-point. This. Is about. Me. I HAVE accepted, allowed and tolerated this abuse. By “helping others” I put off MY OWN issues, needs, fears, pain. I ATTRACT THE SAME. Sigh. Seriously, what a load off my back! I always thought I “just” had abandonment/trust issues (parents married four times each, Mother left at age 15 out of state, married a man and didn’t tell me). I am carrying LOTS OF pain, fear and baggage. This article hits straight to my heart and soul…”what you don’t want” vs. “what you do want”. I used to think and believe the latter. I just feel soooo bogged down with “this cycle” I’m in…I now unconsciously feel the first. Sigh. (These are all GOOD “sighs btw). THANK-YOU soooo much for writing this!!! It’s as if you are speaking to…my inner-self that is SCREAMING to be my outer-self…and is trapped. By…ME. Nobody else. ME. <3

There is so much in all your posts, Mel. Each one helps me to see, realize and really feel where I’m at in the emotional cycle.

It’s been quite the roller coaster even outside the relationship with Mr. N. It’s definitely not a linear experience and that can get a bit frustrating when going from feeling pretty good at a stretch to feeling like worm in the dirt. (Still a sign of being effected from the outside, I guess.)

I love this (among everything else) and was really key for me: “emotions, thoughts and focus are on what you don’t want, you are going to feel terrified, angry, resentful, hurt and contracted about trying to make what you want happen.

It won’t feel possible, and the thought of trying to make it happen may even feel traumatic.”

I go through feeling anxious a lot, especially when I am not feeling the depression.

I get anxiety about not being where I want to be in life, etc.

But I get so many ideas of things I want to pursue, things at my fingertips.

But I get paralyzed and do nothing out of overwhelm from so many ideas flowing…I lose focus really.

I get into a tailspin and don’t know what to do first. And when I start I get frustrated because I have a tendency to think about what I’m not doing.

I feel like I lost the thread of what i wanted to say, I sometimes write things that I regret afterward because I realise how i got caught out by being stuck in the past.My point is though that there are fears that hold us back and they are not necessarily ours, although some might be.I felt the terror and fear of death very clearly last week for the first time, I know that this fear has blocked me from facing what I’ve needed to face , and whatever you can’t face seems to be able to invade you and hijack you.Now I am older I am alot wiser and more willing to face these fears so that I can live more peacefully in my mind.There is a scene in the film clash of the titans where the army persius was leading started to run away because they got scared , but persius in his wisdom told his army that if they did not stand and fight their existence would be hardly worth living because they would lose themselves. Clint Eastwood made a similar comment in one of his films , as he was renowned for going into small towns that were being exploited by the local crime boss and he either equalized the odds or motivated the people who were being exploited to stand up for themselves.The evil is just a way to describe the consequences of not risking death to keep what is most important to you, the power is in your own hands and love is the only thing that can give you enough courage to face anything that makes you afraid.