Comments on: How To Release and Reprogram Toxic Shame

By: Melanie Tonia Evans

Melanie Tonia Evans — Fri, 07 Jan 2022 05:20:52 +0000

In reply to Louise.

Hi Louise,

I recommend highly being in the NARP Forum http://www.melanietoniaevans.com/member so that we can deeply investigate what it is that can guide you.

It’s difficult to do that here on this limited platform, which is not the NARP Module guidance centre.

Does that make sense?

Mel 🙏💞🦋

By: Louise

Louise — Wed, 05 Jan 2022 20:59:15 +0000

In reply to Melanie Tonia Evans.

Hi Mel
I’m a gold member and also purchased the Family of Origin wounds course, all of which are wonderful and I highly recommend.
With specific reference to releasing shame, should I be guided by the topic of each module as to where to take the shame? Or is there one in particular? I believe mine started in childhood so is the family of origin course the place to start or do I look at where shame is showing up for me in the present day?
Thank you

By: havdvhy@yahoo.com

havdvhy@yahoo.com — Mon, 25 Jan 2021 04:54:37 +0000

Nah the narcissist is the idiot and those who sided with them and smeared me exploited the situation, so who needs friends and family like that.

By: Tara

Tara — Fri, 15 Jan 2021 14:13:11 +0000

I grew up with a narcissist alcoholic father, and everything you’ve said here speaks volumes to me! It took me so long to be able to let go of the shame that was put on me and start the process of healing, which is the same as becoming my true self and getting out from under the giant “pile of dirt” (best way I can put it) that he dumped on me with how he treated me from the time I was born until I finally couldn’t take it anymore and left after high school.

The weirdest thing about it was when I actually realized I was blaming myself for how he treated me. It was like a light switch flipped on, and I could see the reality of the situation that was hidden from me before. That opened things up for me so much!

By: michman

michman — Sun, 03 Jan 2021 12:48:08 +0000

Self-boundaries. No, it’s not okay to abuse myself with addictions and compulsions and tormenting ghosts. And not even excusing it with the understandings that were arrived at through healing. This recognition of boundaries and deal-breaking action has to be there; the understanding has to be made hot and pliable, on the anvil easily, into application. And how could I have allowed it so long. Well, yeah, sure, unconsciousness; but this doesn’t even engage the space of understanding. It was the word against the other word. It was clear early on which would endure and for what. Visceral. It was the felt, even unconsciously felt yet later recognized, remembered usher-in of felt selfhood present in the gut. I had made my selfhood’s disappearance acceptable for the chance to fill its space with fiendish contrivance. I accepted it in the name of venge-ing the frustration of out of control, rampant creativity — a compensatory choice of long narrative. God, what I’ve done, and yet it culminates in the kind of selfhood presence and the kind of boundary wielding that I’ll claim that I set myself to reach. A sign may be the tiredness from the self-adversity involved and its grinding mode of transmutations. I am bringing my selfhood back. Don’t fade away to it again. It may not be understanding. It may more be a skilled, capable, capacitated present faculty of selfhood. Felt and known selfhood. Not this nor anything contradicts or negates or co-depends on any other thing within. So there is no false forgiving, no false understanding. Everything uncompromised and uncompensated, internal and external, has its own intelligent boundary wield, in its own right, as its own right. Equal in its respect. What is the word for this oppositeness of shame . . . ? Of course: honor. Self honor. That was the temporary sacrifice. My honor paid of itself to become. If it is there to admit, it is there to honor.

By: Faith

Faith — Thu, 17 Dec 2020 17:38:09 +0000

To know, I don’t need anyone’s permission, when I have God’s approval! Over coming Narcissist parents and sibs led me from a life of partners with a twisted view of what I thought were relationships. I didn’t even know there was a ‘heathy relationship’ I needed to seek! Praying for God to make me the person He created me to be, made it so easy! Suddenly you realize how much you have changed! Easy breezy in His Hands. I was a mess, now I’m strong, and confident. Strong on the inside, and soft on the outside!
I couldn’t have done it without The Lord.
Helpful to eliminate the narcissists quickly by realizing those who are addictive personalities are narcissists. All alcoholics, over workers, drug users, porn watchers, s@x addict, addictive over eaters, etc., etc…! Control addicts are not ‘protective’ as they may imply, they are very fearful, insecure, and possible physically abusive. Just Say No! When you see the first red flag, don’t sniff the dog to try and ‘evaluate’ why they stink! You can’t clean them up, or ‘save’ them, ‘heal’ them. Love yourself enough to believe, to know, you are in danger on some, or all levels! Save yourself, because it is imperative to quickly move out of their sphere! I have found even the coverts narc, will subtly insult, critique, correct, or under mind in some ‘small’ way (something you’re wearing or something you naturally do) to check your boundaries. If you change this ‘thing’ they have mentioned, they know you don’t have enough boundaries, self worth, and you are pliable. I believe most of us end up in these relationship because of lack of boundaries, and minimize people’s deliberate offenses because we are kind human beings who have had our boundaries obscured, removing our ability to self protect so we are even unaware we are not dealing with a ‘right minded’ person. Self awareness of your worth, together with healthy boundaries are key to knowing who you are and how valuable you truly are beloveds! God bless!

By: Melanie Tonia Evans

Melanie Tonia Evans — Sun, 06 Dec 2020 06:56:19 +0000

In reply to Amy.

Hi Amy,

thank you for your beautiful words.

I love that you working with NARP and being released into the Angel you are.

That’s so sweet that you feel me with you, we really are all in this together.

Love and blessings to you

Mel 🙏💕💚

By: Melanie Tonia Evans

Melanie Tonia Evans — Sun, 06 Dec 2020 06:54:13 +0000

In reply to Col.

Hi Col,

it is so great that you work with NARP to fully feel, release and heal from these feelings.

We certainly don’t get better by just stuffing them down!

Keep up the great work and many blessings to you too

Mel 🙏💕💚

By: Melanie Tonia Evans

Melanie Tonia Evans — Sun, 06 Dec 2020 06:52:18 +0000

In reply to Sunroses.

Hi Sunroses,

I’m so pleased that this spoke to you.

I’d love you to come into my free webinar http://www.melanietoniaevans.com/freewebinar so that I can show you how to release and go free from these feelings powerfully.

I hope that this helps and much love to you

Mel 🙏💕💚