Comments on: How You Can Work With Pain To Avoid Suffering

By: Blix

Blix — Tue, 17 Dec 2019 04:44:58 +0000

Thank you! Really needed this today. I’m presently dealing with a covert family member who is really trying to push my buttons. They are engaging in a lot of adversarial and passive aggressive behaviour. The reminder to flip the script is greatly appreciated! Thank you again!

By: Effie

Effie — Mon, 31 Aug 2015 05:06:46 +0000

I just want to say thank you. I never understood the pain I was feeling inside or should I say suffering because its been continual was a signal for me to stop an evaluate myself. I am so glad I dont have to stay in a state of suffering or not loving myself. This is something that you have simplified for me and I am so thankful. I grew up with a narcisistic father and have recently dated one as well. I did not even know there was such a thing until this year. I am so grateful thank you for giving me a key I will use the rest of my life. I am so glad I can recieve healing and hope we all do who have suffered.

By: Tara

Tara — Sat, 20 Apr 2013 04:41:13 +0000

This is a extremely deep snd insightful article.I have been dealing with N personalities in my family and extended fsmily .I have been wise enough to stay away last several years. I always had a feeling in my heart my family members were into themselved shallow superfical etc. Most are materialistic and when I am around them I feel sick inside and it is not eenvy cause I could of always lived this false self but I knew early on it was a very empty. life. I love on one of your pages about when you said the fear of staying the same is bigger than the fear of change. I was blessed with that feeling early on.ohh and also having a stubborn mind your own business German dad helped.lol

By: L

Thu, 28 Jun 2012 02:45:59 +0000

Melanie,
I love your website. It has made me understand
What really happened to me. I want to buy books on tape r they available?.

By: Sally

Sally — Fri, 03 Feb 2012 04:49:22 +0000

I’ve been married 3 times. I didn’t know that my personal false beliefs attracted bad company. I considered myself shallow and flaky and always fearful of well intended men, so I always went for the flakes just like me. But this suffering is truly a wake up call. I now yearn for a more committed relationship. This ill gained union has pushed me to mature more in the last 9 years than I have in all of my life. I feel stuck, because it’s a marriage bond. I know this is not how a marriage should function though. I live confused. Melanie’s website is really helping me understand where I am in this whole caos. I wish everybody the best and trust that God and this website will help us.

By: angela

angela — Thu, 02 Feb 2012 23:06:53 +0000

Hi Melanie,
It has taken me two years to finally reach a point where I see that the projection onto me that I was the liar and the deceitful one and that I could not be trusted was actually part of the narcissitic abuse cycle. This guy said all the right things, he vowed his love, that I met all his needs but nothing added up and the constant nasty ‘shocks’ would send me into a spin. I turned my self, my life and my childrens lives upside down trying to defend myself and my innocence in an attempt to make sense out of confusion. I fell apart and it almost cost me my life…. And I went back for a second chance at making it work! Now some five months later I can actually say to myself that “I know who I am.” The pain is still there and the head still has its crazy moments but I am calm and I see more clearly. Thank you for your newsletters. They always seem to come at the right moment with the right topic and right words. xx

By: kathy

kathy — Thu, 02 Feb 2012 02:13:49 +0000

Hi
I am in the midst of it right. My husband has literally pulled the carpet from under me. To cover up for his months of lies, deceit and abuse..he blamed me for everything from since the day he married me..truth were turned into lies

By: Darlene

Darlene — Wed, 01 Feb 2012 00:15:03 +0000

I am so glad I found you Melanie. You are a God send for me to help me see the truth as it REALLY is. You have helped me come to the realization that I am in an abusive realtionship. I councelled with my Pator and he advised me to set boundaries but the only boundaries I want are to get as far away from him (my husband) as can possibly get. I can’t do that at this time but I am planning to make it happen, thanks to you. Thankyou for empowering me to believe in my self again. I have been in a deep depression for the length of my marriage of 18 years and finally I feel that there is hope for me.
Thanks again!

By: Anita

Anita — Tue, 31 Jan 2012 14:42:39 +0000

Thanks Tonya, It does help to read these words. I was finally able to put up a clear line between us by moving into the attic while I begin to think about what to do. The attacks can happen out of the blue and go on into the night. At least I’m having some respite against that because he is afraid of the bugs upstairs:) We work differing schedules so that helps avoid confrontation at this time too. I completely agree that I had big self doubts about myself before he ever came along. I find myself relating my failures to him in moments of conversation, which of course he internalizes and uses as weapons against me at another time. It is certainly a huge amount of pain right now and I’d like to keep it from turning into a lifetime of suffering. Thanks again for your words.