Comments on: Is It Limerence Or Is It Love?

By: Freetobeme

Freetobeme — Mon, 20 Feb 2023 11:09:57 +0000

“This is where unconditional love, new age thinking and law of attraction is very dangerous”

OMG…

9 months into NARP and I’m now squarely facing the lifelong inner preconditions that have made me low hanging fruit for narcissists and a poster child for limerence based relationships. My entire spiritual journey began when I fell foul of a narcissist nearly 30 years ago… but what it really was, was me trying to figure out who I needed to be to be loved. To be ok. To be enough. Etc etc… I can see now there was alot of limerence on my part in my first real adult love relationship which came a few years later. In some ways I think my then partner knew me better than I knew myself. 3 decades later the unresolved issues from that relationship resurfaced in the narcissistic dynamic that led me to NARP. I have also found the toxic combination of new age thinking unconditional love and law of attraction is particularly endemic in the “spiritual” community I turned to for answers, as it generates truly messed up relationships because those dynamics are no substitute for level headed assessment of character, mature assessment of one’s true needs, desires and of whether there is capacity present for these to be met. At least this is the woolly headed game I’ve been playing with myself when I have been able to summon the courage to get on the Field of relationships. Until now. My object of focus is squarely myself at present and becoming Source to myself at all levels. I had hopes I would meet someone soon but I can see clearly now that I still have work to do, that I am not ready and it will not be random and incidental as it has seemed in the past. I recognise somatically now that I have still been hoping for that fantasy partner who will magically tick my boxes and rescue me from having to do more work and hand me the life I want on a platter. It’s a difficult reality check. But it is real and a solid baseline to work from, and for that I am thankful.

By: Christal James

Christal James — Tue, 01 Nov 2022 21:47:36 +0000

I think this is really our culture. Every “chick flick“ and love song is full of Limerence. You can’t escape it’s percentage of communication space that it takes up in our world. In our conversations with other people. In the stories of how we met our dating partner. Not very often do you hear of people meeting on a quantum level. What does that love story and that loves song sound like? What would be the storyline? It’s been the experience of everyone I know in my family, and of course myself, in every relationship that I’ve had. When that conscience bubble burst in my awareness, it looked like the top of my head cracked open in half and I could see clearly the pattern I had repeated all my life and had seen repeated generationally. I tried explaining it to my son the best I could. Because he knows what I was like before I woke up and what I’m like now. So, he’s wondering“mom what happened“ why didn’t you see the way he was before? So we are having conversations about that. Thank you Mel for articulating this so well!!

By: Melanie Tonia Evans

Melanie Tonia Evans — Mon, 24 Oct 2022 01:48:12 +0000

In reply to Peter.

It is so true Peter,

That these type of karmic soul contracts are exactly what N relationships are.

BIG, powerful and totally soul cracking – to crack us open to come home to ourselves.

As always Peter I’m so happy you are NARPing and that you contribute to this blog!

Much Love

Mel 🙏💞🦋

By: Peter

Peter — Fri, 21 Oct 2022 22:58:50 +0000

Dear Melanie!
Thanks again for another enlightening article! I so remember the beginning when I thought that “romance“ was about love! I was swooped up by the narcissists “beauty” and what I thought was innocence! Oh my God, was I fooled!
I might have been experiencing “Limerence“ but I didn’t know! I was dazzled and I fell in love!
Little by little things unraveled….
what I thought was potential, potential for a life together with the thought of hopefully growing together into eternity with her completely fizzled…
I so often wondered why I was attracted to this person and what did it mean!
I found out later somewhat what that meant when I had some past life regressions done with a Lakota shaman who revealed to me that I had spent several lifetimes with her and that in each lifetime my relationship with her ended terribly, just like this one!
That I had made a “Pre-life” agreement with her that we would meet and work things out but it failed!
Now I know “see” somewhat better why this relationship with her has been so challenging and so difficult…I also understand now, as a result of my work with you and others in the narcissistic abuse recovery program that, in some way that I don’t fully understand, this was meant to be and that I needed this for my inner growth and spiritual evolution…
That “this was all done for me, not to me“….
It’s been painful for certain! But, I’m a much better human being than I was when this “interaction” started…
Anyway, it’s part of my long journey from probably eons ago….( at least, sometimes anyway, it feels that way! )🤔
With everything that’s happened during this particular lifetime I am so thankful that I found your teachings and your “Way of a NARPER”, Melanie! I don’t know where I would be without NARP! ❤️🦋❤️
Thank you so much for all your help and guidance and wonderfully good work on this earth, for me and so many others, Melanie! Much love! ❤️🦋❤️

By: Melanie Tonia Evans

Melanie Tonia Evans — Thu, 20 Oct 2022 23:42:08 +0000

In reply to Jennifer.

Hi Jennifer,

I only discovered this expression not long ago either – we really could have called this “love addiction” .. being in love with love.

I LOVE that you are working NARP to come to yourself, the truth and healthy love!

Mel 🙏💞🦋

By: Melanie Tonia Evans

Melanie Tonia Evans — Thu, 20 Oct 2022 23:40:28 +0000

In reply to MyJourney.

Hi My Journey,

that’s great that you are addressing this with NARP … and you are right, it can be very sneaky!

Best to stay on top of the delusions we can convince ourselves of!

Much Love to you

Mel 🙏💞🦋

By: Melanie Tonia Evans

Melanie Tonia Evans — Thu, 20 Oct 2022 23:35:43 +0000

In reply to Jonna Christensen.

Hi Jonna,

I’m really pleased that this has helped you!

Sending you love and healing

Mel 🙏💞🦋

By: Melanie Tonia Evans

Melanie Tonia Evans — Thu, 20 Oct 2022 23:34:52 +0000

In reply to Lori.

Hi Lori,

we can all be forgiven for thinking and feeling into the romantic fairytales that we were programmed to believe in.

Many creative, beautiful feeling people do!

For myself personally, it was the inner work with NARP which delivered me home in my body to be a healthy solid adult to look after me – as well as be able to remain open-hearted and loving.

I suggest NARP http://www.melanietoniaevans.com/narp to help you get there also.

Mel 🙏💞🦋

By: Lori

Lori — Thu, 20 Oct 2022 12:03:55 +0000

I was groomed in this type of thing and it was because I am creative and an artist. So I was taken in by it all the time and didn’t know any different. It is a fantasy your providing for an abuser. Thinking 33 years ago it was just the path to falling in love, the relationship would mature. It never does with a narc. It just makes you walk smiling into your cage. I’m glad I’m free now. But what do I do now? That is where I am today, trying to figure it out since I recognize them. Unfortunately my habits are still walking before me. I have to learn to be patient with myself and act more reserved so I can be more protective of my life.