A question that keeps coming up for me while reading through this article is… How do you detach, and seperate from emotions when faced with intense loss in life, like the death of a family member? Or when you witness something terrible, or it happens to someone around you?
I tend to be very affected by, and sensitive to others emotions, and recently there have been things around me happening that aren’t necessarily to do with my thought process, but everyday things that happen around me that i am witness too. So my question again is, how do i cope with these things, and turn them into positive? And not let them effect me?

Another question I have is, is it okay to grieve and feel sad when these things happen? Or does that mean that i am still not detaching enough from my emotions?

Thanks
Heather

Hi Elizabeth!
Thanks for your post and I have found since working with the NARP programme, I no longer have the above issues of being over-sensitive, over thinking what others are saying or not saying, moods don’t effect me now and I do understand now that it is the ‘abusers’ reflecting their unhealed parts onto us, projection and I have learnt to not take anything personally. I learnt that being over-sensitive was a way to protect myself and it only made things worse for me, as I would charge on the negative comments or moods of others all the time, thinking it was me. My voice is now audible and I am not afraid to speak up where necessary in an assertive way.

Before I left my ex, I had found Melanie’s site and got to work on myself straight away. It empowered me (and saved my life) and I practised not reacting to his outbursts, criticisms, overt abuse, covert abuse, manipulations or any of it, as any more stress was going to literally send me to my grave. My heart was sick, my adrenal system over active and my nervous system was becoming so damaged, I was heading for a heart attack. While I was becoming empowered he started to change toward me (obviously puzzled as to why his tricks were not having the same impact), he wasn’t getting supply, so lost his way with his control of me. He found other ways, as they do though, but I had left before he mastered these new techniques. The boundaries I put in place were busted down as it is impossible to hold up strong boundaries when living with Narcs, but I stood my ground and kept them up.

NARP is amazing! When I look back on some of my posts, I think ‘gosh, you have really kicked that issue out into the universe!’ I just can’t feel that pain anymore.

If you come to Tassie, I have a warm home for you to come and visit and you are always welcome. Streeeettcchy (((((hug)))) from Jac x

Great that you are a healer too and I have a way of releasing the pain when having a massage in that I visualise all the junk and pain leaving my body, not just the physical pain but all the stuff suffered and held on to from the Narc abuse and the pain from my past. When following the technique of QFH which is very directly related to a specific area you need to shift in the NARP Programme. After a few sessions with NARP, it can be practiced without listening to the recordings of Melanie taking us through it step by step, as for me personally, I tend to remember the process. So after a massage, not are you only feeling physically relieved but emotionally and psychologically have released the associated pain with all of the damage from abuse. Reading the e-books gives us an understanding of what is playing out within us, but NARP is the magic key to freeing us from all of the pain, so we can come home to our true self. If you desperately want to heal, as we all do, it is quite fast and the pain does not return. That is what I have experienced since I started the programme only a month ago. I wish you a speedy recovery and freedom. x

Hi Jac:

I can totally relate to being over sensitive to other people’s reactions to me. This also stems from my childhood where I felt constantly judged, even ridiculed for expressing myself. I also take to heart if someone is in a bad mood, rude, etc. I have usually taken it on as something must be wrong with me, or I did/said something wrong. It’s a very difficult habit to break, but I have been working on it daily, especially since the breakup from my ex. He was only too happy to have me feel that I am the cause of his trouble or discontent, and now that I realize this, I can see where I have become on my guard constantly. I now recognize that I am a kind, friendly, good-hearted person, and I can accept my faults also, without feeling I need others’ approval.

BTW – Awesome that you live in Tasmania! I’ve always wanted to visit there as it seems like an extraordinary place.