Hi Vigrx,

yes you are very welcome to.

Mel xo

I’m trying to co-parent with a narc and you can imagine how hard that can be with his passive-aggressive behaviour. He’s never punctual, forgets about things for school, my daughter gets late to school because of him (luckily it’s only one school day a week), he’s late for appointments, never on time to collect my daughter, if I ask him to prepare something he does it at the very last minute or not at all. He somehow believes that getting up 10 mins earlier is beneath him, that’s his precious me-time.
It all used to make me angry, but that’s what he wants. A reaction.

When he lived with me, this kind of behaviour was much more commonplace and destructive, sometimes he “accidentally” pushed house plants on the floor so they broke and then he left all the mess like nothing happened… he used to throw wet teabags just next to the bin, or above it, so they stained the whole area around the bin… all that in a RENTED accommodation. Any remarks that maybe he needs to clean up all the mess he’s made met with a stream of swearing. Or – pouring the bleach all around to do “cleaning” that resulted in bleached stains on all sorts of things and clothing. There was no way to deal with that, I’m so glad he’s out of my life.

If you live on your own and for some reason have to communicate with your ex (like maybe you’re co-parenting), just try not to react and have backup plans, always. You can’t make him a decent, responsible person and any attempt at maybe trying to talk sense into him will just make you angrier. That’s what they want, my ex always looked so bl**dy amused when I was asking him to do what a good parent should do. There’s no point in trying.

Oh yeah, classic. My narc ex used to produce similar letters in abundance and when I replied “I’m not discussing anything with you if it’s not regarding our daughter” a stream of abuse followed mixed with flattery and attempts at making me feel sorry for him. Also his “we need to talk!”, there, then, now. “What about?”. “Us”. “There is no us anymore.” … stream of usual abuse/flattery/poor sad me.

Hi Raeanne! Best not to ‘deal’ with narcs at all as it is a pointless exercise. It never changes anything and only gives them ‘narc supply’ fueling the abuse the more one tries to engage with them, leaving one feeling drained of all energy. Instead, ‘deal’ with yourself and take Mel’s advice and heal your inner wounds. NARP is amazing and I use the healings daily now or when I need to shift something that is making me feel uncomfortable within. It really does work. I would not have survived if I hadn’t of found Mel who guided me and after that I learnt how to listen to my inner self, where I found a way free. If you can (I don’t know your situation) disengage from any communication as much as you can. x

Examples of emails from a narc:
Here are a couple of emails that are from a narc to his target; a woman who quit having anything to do with him. He turned into a stalker, but she has successfully kept No Contact.
Kathy,
You continue to ignore my attempts to contact you over Facebook, and I am left with no other choice but to contact you at your office. While living in Kansas City, I would often wait outside Blue Star (the company where she worked) in my car, undecided on whether to enter the building or not to contact you. I would like to speak to you face to face, and, as I do not want to come back to Kansas City – I moved to L.A. in mid-April – I suggest you come out here, where we can talk and I can ask you the many questions I have over our lives and their connection. I feel better facing you alone in an environment with which you are unfamiliar and away from my parents and brother, though truthfully, I am not much more familiar than you with L.A. My cell phone number is 562-631-6651, so please call me when you receive this if you like phone conversations better or e-mail me. Do not delay contacting me or play obtuse and ignore my entreaties, for I consider that I am doing you a favor by contacting you at this point and not waiting for you to contact me, which you would have to do eventually, as we both know. I always felt you were motivated and intelligent and very pretty if only a little selfish and self-pleased, having grown up attending an all-girls school and doing probably very well there and at KU. Kathy, I look forward to hearing from you. Your dear friend and ex-law school classmate, James McCullough

When she did not respond, he sent this:
Kathy, Did you receive my email? I didn’t receive a reply from you and was simply curious whether you received it or not. I tried to make it abundantly clear in my message that I cared about you, partially because it happens to be true and partially because I would like t talk to you about matters in my life that are particularly vexing to me. I don’t know how much longer I can go on like, this, without finding a job in L.A. and without hearing from you, as you are the person whom I believe I can trust on matters of importance and as you seem to share some of my intellectual interests, having majored in biology and gone on to law school, eventually earning the right to practice patent law. Please reply to this message. Sincerely, James McCullough

Rebecca, very very impressive indeed! Sitting back and watching the Narcastics without getting sucked in. I admire you, this truly is advanced thriver behaviour!

Raeanne, doing NARP and changing your vibration is the best recipe! I have done it.