Melanie Tonia Evans

Shifts Happen: Healing The Traumas Closest To Our Hearts – Our Children #2

Written by   Melanie Tonia Evans Permalink 2
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Written By   Melanie Tonia Evans

 

I can’t tell you how excited I am for today’s Shifts Happen Episode!

If you caught last week’s episode, you would have seen how Devon and I did a Quanta Freedom Healing together – in relation to her trauma regarding her son’s anxieties.

The following is so vital about this 2-part series … As I stated last week, this is the topic within Narcissistic Abuse Recovery that I am the MOST passionate about.

I am motivated beyond measure to find a way for us, as adults, to lead the way – to create a template of Inner wellbeing and health, Unity Consciousness, soul and emotional intelligence and personal power for our children.

To put an END to the scourge of abuse / abused that has traumatised humanity for so long.

Because it is only then that ourselves, our children and their future generations will no longer be torn apart.

Our focus has been on the wrong place all along, “Change them!” … and when we take our power back and create radical DNA change at the only level we can – ourselves – then miracles beyond our wildest dreams start to emerge.

Such is the case ALWAYS, that I have seen when parents do the Quantum Work inside their own bodies regarding their children.

Which is the exact process that myself and Devon demonstrate for you in this Shifts Happen 2-Part series.

But before I invite you to join in on this session with Devon and myself, there are so very important pre-requisites to understand.

  1. You have worked solidly on your own Inner Self programs and traumas with Quanta Freedom Healing (The NARP Program) before attempting to work on your children’s wounds through your body.
  2. You have asked and received your Child’s Higher Self permission before commencing. (You can muscle test for the answer, or trust your intuitive answer when you ask for permission.)
  3. WARNING: Don’t try to work on ANY narcissistic individual by proxy to heal their wounds. The only way to heal you and even potentially them (if that could ever unfold) is to work on healing your own wounds in regard to them ONLY. By connecting your own energy with a dark soul you are at serious risk of a psychic and spiritual breakdown.

Ok so now that’s out of the way … in this episode you will discover exactly HOW to use your own Inner Being as proxy in order to create Radical Instant Healing for your children …. in ways that simply cannot be created by trying to change your child.

 

The Results For Devon’s Son

Since Devon and I worked on these two sessions together …  1) working on Devon’s traumas that were connected to the fears about her son, and 2) working on Devon’s son directly whilst using her body as proxy or him … there have been amazing and instant shifts for her son.

(Please note apart from our sessions together Devon, has also done extensive work herself with The NARP Program during these two weeks to take these two sessions through to even greater completion.)

This is what Devon reported back to me two days ago …

“I’m completely blown away, even after dozens of incredible ‘miracles’ with my own NARP journey. I just feel like a totally different person… I’m astounded that it happened a week ago as it feels like such old stuff that I’m writing about now.

I’ll just go ahead with dot points …

  • Immediately after the session and continuing to now he has started sleeping 11-11.5 hours at night instead of his standard 9.5-10.5 hours.
  • He has decided to sleep in his own bed and has gone to sleep there each night since the shift. We’ve co-slept for many reasons including 9 house moves in 3 years and 3 months of homelessness.
  • He’s usually taken 1 hour to fall asleep (after books, massage, song and lights out) since the shift he takes less than 10 minutes.
  • The sleep disruption thing has been such a massive fixture in my life and now its gone. I’ve had 7 evenings to myself now in a row, words could not do justice to the feeling!
  • Oh my and the biggest one is that he’s stopped wetting the bed. He’s been out of nappies day and night for 18 months.  Just before his third birthday, he started wetting the bed on the nights after visitation.  A few weeks later he was wetting the bed every single night, so was for about 2 months. This week, since the shift, he’s been dry every night.
  • His laughter has increased dramatically.
  • Today I had a phone call from the hospital regarding a referral for 1) his anxiety and 2) support for court. The referral was made in October last year and I had not heard from them since.
  • There was some ‘incident’ at a house neighbouring to the arranged changeover place and there has been a massive police presence (four visible police cars and others coming and going) for the last three changeovers. I don’t know why/if this is relevant but it just felt like part of it. I know the narc was/is totally peeved by police and that my child and I have felt protected in their presence.
  • My child has to attend a weekly community group with the N where the adults and children are separated for over an hour. My child reports to me each week that he hates being away and often cries but gets ignored.  On Sunday there was some construction going on in the main hall and the whole group had to stay together in the one room throughout the program, my child came home delighted!

I’ve been marvelling all week at the changes and I know there’s many more.  I’ll write again as they pop up.  Much love to you Mel and THANK YOU!!!! a thousand times thank you xoxoxoxoxoxoxxo “

I can’t be more thrilled for Devon and her son!

Humbly, Quanta Freedom Healing and NARP continues to inspire me beyond measure regarding how powerfully we can change ourselves and our children’s lives when we do the work where it really needs to be done …

Inside of ourselves.

And … it is my greatest desire that this 2-part Shifts Happen episode has given you SO MUCH hope that you do have the power to heal your own and your children’s and future generation’s lives – regardless of narcissists.

Please know, if you have any questions about this work, both Devon and I would love to answer you personally.

 

 

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Melanie Tonia Evans is an international narcissistic abuse recovery expert. She is an author, radio host, and founder of Quanta Freedom Healing and The Narcissistic Abuse Recovery Program. Melanie's healing and teaching methods have liberated thousands of people from the effects of narcissistic abuse world-wide.

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29 Thoughts on Shifts Happen: Healing The Traumas Closest To Our Hearts – Our Children #2
  • nicopopliceanu@yahoo.com'
    Nicoleta
    June 2, 2017

    I am glad for Devon and her son. I am not clear if we can work like this with other people than our children.

    • Melanie Tonia Evans
      June 3, 2017

      Hi Nicoleta,

      it certainly can, because we are all energetically connected.

      It’s just really important when doing the work by proxy to do it with mindfulness and make sure that we clear our own Inner Being of the trauma first.

      And … sometimes when we do that – we know it is best to let people live out their journey and we can just hold the space for them by “seeing” and “feeling” them as “well”.

      Bless 🙂

      Mel xo

  • belyaeva.galya@gmail.com'
    Gal
    June 3, 2017

    Hi Melanie! Thank you!
    Can this work on a younger sibling? Half sister?

    • Melanie Tonia Evans
      June 3, 2017

      Hi Gal,

      it’s my pleasure.

      Yes, as above with my answer to Nicoleta.

      And in many ways a younger sister is someone you feel dearly connected to – almost as a child.

      It would be lovely for you to assist her with energetic work.

      Mel xo

  • avab1@yahoo.com'
    Ava
    June 3, 2017

    Thank You Devon and Melanie so very much for sharing. I felt so much gratitude within myself watching this, the words Thank You don’t seem like enough. I can’t express how much Melanie that finding your work has changed my life. I didn’t know the heart can really be healed, I expected to live with being heartbroken and sad forever. Now there is hope and healing where there was pain before. I feel soothed. Thank You.

    • Melanie Tonia Evans
      June 3, 2017

      Hi Ava,

      I am so pleased this session really resonated with you … and I am so thrilled you have been healing from the inside out!

      Awww your words are so beautiful… I feel your relief and your heart and life blossoming.

      Many continued blessings to you.

      Mel xo

  • anki_linnerheim@hotmail.com'
    Anki
    June 3, 2017

    Dear, sweet amazing Devon! ❤
    Thank you SO much for sharing this!! I felt so much love for you, felt such strong connection to you and your son as if you and I were actually the One same person!
    I am in awe for you and your courage and devotion, and I now feel that I FINALLY am brave enough to try my first healing by proxy on my own children!
    I have two wonderful young adults (in their 20’s) who suffer from diagnoses given them like autism, ADHD, Aspergers and anxiety disorder – but I KNOW it is only their traumas and their experiences in this life and earlier.
    I am SO grateful to have found a way to help my children other with medication and therapy that both made them feeling so much worse.
    Thank you again lovely sister Devon for this! ?
    And Melanie – you ARE a true angel and as you know I have a totally different and new life since I was led to you!!!

    Much, much love to you both! ❤ ❤ ❤
    Anki

    • anki_linnerheim@hotmail.com'
      Anki
      June 3, 2017

      As soon as I posted this above, and read it again, I had a strong feeling inside of feeling so afraid of letting my son down AGAIN and not being able to help him and that I AM HIS LAST HOPE EVER!

      I thought I had cleared out and was ready with myself and could go on with my son. 🙂
      SO happy that this came up – and I will work more with myself on this right now (going out for a long walk in the woods and by the sea) before I start any by proxy work! ????

      Much love!
      Anki

      • Melanie Tonia Evans
        June 5, 2017

        How prefer it is Anki, when we now know “that is a block I can clear” and we do that.

        Changes everything …

        You are living the up-level!!

        Big kudos and hugs to you.

        Mel xo

    • Melanie Tonia Evans
      June 5, 2017

      Hi Anki,

      I am so pleased you connected to this show for you and your children, and it has been so, so beautiful to see you blossom Dear Lady!

      Mel xo

    • Upsidedowndevi@gmail.com'
      Devon
      June 6, 2017

      Dear Anki, I am so touched by your words by your sense of connection. I celebrate you feeling that you are finally brace enough to try your first healing by proxy. Your children are blessed with your perseverance and courage to walk the lesser known paths to true healing and recovery.

      I was so fortunate to have been connected with Mel’s work so early in my child’s life. As a result I was able to make the shift away from the common diagnosis you mentioned for trauma. I adopted the view of my child being gifted. I believe that ‘gifted’ is also a trauma related condition, but a much less triggering and much more workable viewpoint to hold whilst in recovery.

      Your energy here in this space, your encouragement, your very presence in life, makes a difference. May your hearings be powerful and may you and your children’s lives unfold into all the beauty and wonder that life holds.

  • jsmiff1@yahoo.com.au'
    Faith
    June 3, 2017

    Dear Devon and Mel,

    Immeasurable gratitude to you both for this Shifts Happen! I chose to watch it to work on ME having recently commenced GOLD NARP Module 1. Everything that both of you mentioned I was feeling with Module 1 today! It was like you were looking at what I had written in my work book! It was like my first day as a newborn my heart, soul, body, mind and every bit of me was shattered into a billion little bits when the person I should have been able to trust seemed to destroy every bit of me so I disassociated! This Shifts Happen I could feel you both reaching into me with the most giant bottle of Super Glowing Glitter Glue ever to commence magically allowing me to glow and to be the real me. I feel like you have both filled me up with a huge dose of love, respect, honour, care and nurturing so much so I can even BREATHE more easily! A huge fog has lifted from my head and I feel so much LIGHTER!

    Further down the track, when I have completed lots more work on me, I can already perceive this Shifts Happen you have gifted will allow me to use the Super Glowing Glitter Glue to assist others also! The children of the world are waiting to be set free ? ? ?

    Thank you seems so inadequate for the change this Shifts Happen has created for me!

    Much love,
    Faith xo xo ? ? ? ? ? ?

    • Melanie Tonia Evans
      June 5, 2017

      Hi Faith,

      that is so wonderful that you are doing the inner work and that this resonates with you.

      I just love how, no matter how shattered we are, disassociated and destroyed we are, that when we clean the trauma out … healing and Wellbeing enters.

      That is the Super Glowing Glitter that you speak of!

      That is beautiful that you are feeling the effects of this.

      I do so agree that the outreach of the healing that is possible is life changing for so many.

      Keep on being you Dear Lady 🙂

      Mel xo

    • Upsidedowndevi@gmail.com'
      Devon
      June 6, 2017

      Dear Faith,

      I LOVE the “giant bottle of Super Glowing Glitter Glue” analogy… although I’m thinking it was also literal! I am so awestruck by your initial shifts and the “huge dose of love, respect, honour, care and nurturing” you received AND that you can BREATHE more easily!!! I know right?! who woulda thought breathing could feel so natural and so good! And yay for the fog being lifted from your head. May you experience many many many more powerful shifts in your journey and may you go on to shine your radiant light out into the world for all to see

      Much love

      Devon

  • My_bba@yahoo.com'
    Hélène
    June 4, 2017

    When I am healing along, I too will do this for my kids. Everyday I do it, I do it for them too. One day closer to helping them, I tell myself. I will go on a vid too if it helps others. I have no fear of that.
    TY so much, Devon for doing this vid! So glad you came fwd!
    I will no longer be silent or ashamed. I will not be quiet. No one left on earth can think worse of me than they do already lol I will vocalize and write about this as much as possible. PDs should be convicted and jailed like the criminals they are. Until that day, which is never I know, we can keep using the gift of pain to motivate our upshifting. I am honestly grateful to the spath n npds in my life. At least to their behaviors, their persons revolt me. But if it gets me better n even more importantly, My Kids *pain well spent*. My pain, which has been many in my life, has not been redeemed. Yet 🙂

    • Melanie Tonia Evans
      June 5, 2017

      Hi Helene,

      it is wonderful that you are healing, and please know at the Quantum Level that needing them to experience incarceration or some punishment, in order to be free and well is a painful premise.

      I promise you Dear Lady, that when “that” bit is cleared and healed, a whole new level of Thriving and Life-force will be yours.

      I can tell from what you have written you are so on your way there! The pro-force is so much more healing for all of us than the anti-force, and we can all be passionate about creating us much health and up levelling, so that children are no longer traumatised or split as a result of parent’s trauma, thus generating narcissists.

      We have the ability to give birth to a New World.

      Sending you many blessings.

      Mel xo

  • saalfeld.julia@gmail.com'
    Julia
    June 5, 2017

    Dear Devon,
    Thank you for sharing these intense emotions and by thereby helping so many of us in similar situations! You can be so proud of yourself and I am certain you and your son will have a bright future!

    Dear Melanie,
    I am tremendously thankful for your work and it has helped me so much. I just have some questions on “the shifts happen” episodes…
    Should I just try to enter into the healing? It distracts me to listen to an unknown voice and such emotional story while doing my own inner healing work. Have I misunderstood what to do exactly?
    How do I do this with two children? I know each soul carries their own trauma – so probably I would do it once for each?

    Love, Julia

    • Upsidedowndevi@gmail.com'
      Devon
      June 6, 2017

      Thank you so much dear Julia. These intense emotions are certainly ‘ours’ aren’t they?! and it is powerful to have them mirrored for us. I feel so much relief from doing this and repeating this session, the shifts for my child have been nothing short of miraculous. I am so blessed to have found community like yourself and many others here diligently working with the program Melanie has designed. There is no greater contribution that I could have made at this time and I am so grateful for the opportunity to have shared with you

      Much love to you on your journey to thriving

      Devon

    • Melanie Tonia Evans
      June 7, 2017

      Hi Julia,

      I am so pleased my work has helped!

      If this actual episode is distracting then the inner work is going to be much easier working with the NARP Modules, specifically Module 1 or the Goal Setting Module.

      In that way you will be able to connect to the traumas directly relating to you and your children.

      This episode can be a tutorial if you like on “how to do the proxy work”, which is ultimately its most powerful position, because everyone traumas and painful beliefs are unique and need to be reached and healed individually.

      I would definitely separate the proxy work to heal one child at a time.

      I hope this helps! 🙂

      Mel xo

      • claudette@spininteriors.co.za'
        Claudette Rosen
        November 13, 2017

        Hi Mel,
        Just came across this and i am fascinated.
        What is NARP and where do i find the modules to begin.
        I have not spoken to my daughter for over a year she is 17, lives with her father and wants nothing to do with me.
        I have tried to disengage and distance myself from his toxic behaviour.
        But feel pulled into this vortex when it comes to my children.
        We have been divorced for 13 years the acrimonious fighting and manipulation has been exhausting.
        My son lives with me, his relationship with my ex was devastating, i ‘freed us’ by walking away completely from any financial obligation he could use against us, but my daughter feels sorry for him and hs felt a need to chose, she has luved with him for the last 4 years,her ideas of me are not her experience of me.
        I am desperate for her to remember who i am from the good times we had together and how much i love her.
        I have stayed away, respected her wishes as this seems to make him back off from her and gives her less anxiety.

        But i need to work on myself.
        Thanking you in advance.
        Claudette.

        • Melanie Tonia Evans
          November 13, 2017

          Hi Claudette,

          ok … NARP is the Narcissistic Abuse Recovery Program and you can find it here: http://www.melanietoniaevans.com/narp
          The Modules are in the Program as is the full instructions on how to use them.

          That is great that you wish to work on yourself, and that the healing work by proxy resonates with you,

          Sending best wishes and healing and a happy loving reuniting with your daughter Claudette.

          Mel xo

  • milicama09@gmail.com'
    Sandra
    June 6, 2017

    Thank you girls for sharing this healing with us! I don’t have children but I did both episodes with you because they perfectly matched what’s going on inside of me. I wasn’t even aware of having this “being let down over and over” pain before. Devon, you are such an amazing and brave woman, I was cheering for you like I would in a soccer game 🙂

    Much love xo

    • Upsidedowndevi@gmail.com'
      Devon
      June 6, 2017

      Sandra, I am laughing out loud to see you cheering me on like you would a soccer game! I am about to go over this episode again and I have a feeling it will extra strong tonight now that your energy has joined!!

      Much love and deep respect to you on your healing journey

      Devon xo

    • Melanie Tonia Evans
      June 7, 2017

      Hi Sandra,

      how wonderful these two episodes were so synchronistic for you.

      It is so true that so many of our painful beliefs are consistent regardless of the circumstances!

      Mel xo

  • Patenergy@yahoo.com'
    Patrice
    June 7, 2017

    Have watched 1st session twice now. It was very powerful for me the second time. I resonated a lot on topic of feeling doomed, desecrated and powerless as well as the one in session of wanting to retreat or isolate from humans, it’s not safe to be with humans. I merged in with both Mel and Devon at one point in the shift about not safe to be human, shifting from my head in Source Healing and Resolution section to feeling this really integrated. I was the light momentarily. I felt so committed internally to releasing more of my stuff to this light and how simple it is. My “arguments” to holding on to stuff were absent, were dissolved. I felt how easy this really is when I’m able to “feel” and surrender to Source energy … which QFH provides a practical way to access. Yay!! THANK YOU!!

    In 2nd session, it amazed me how when asked what’s the next topic for shift, in the pause, what came to me was “I just don’t fit anywhere. I don’t belong. No wonder I isolate.” I have a pattern of entering into a relationship or community, being excited about the prospects (maybe this is the one that will really be “it”) but then after months or years, it loses its spark. I once again feel disappointed and that old familiar feeling of “I always feel let down.” Then, Mel said it feels to her like just wanting to retreat and hide because it’s not safe. I was like, “Wow, I’m tuned in. We’re all tuned in as one here. I’m not alone. We’ve all got similar issues.”

    Also, there were times where I felt so inspired by how at one moment, I’d feel the pain and a sort of doom in Devon and then just moments later, it was lifted and she radiated softness, love and freedom. This confirmed for me that it’s all just energy, it can shift and new, healthy energy from Source can replace it all. We’re not trapped by the heaviness and magnitude of our “stories” that seem to have so much weight. I really, REALLY, need to get this because I’ve been seduced by the heaviness of my stories for years, to this day (there’s no way out; I’m doomed to this fate; after all these years of healing work, I should be further along by now; mine just seem to be worse, etc.) I’ll take this to Module 1 again and feel hope that this will one day be healed and I’ll be free of it.

    I love how this QFH encourages going into the blocks/resistances. I’ve really needed to be with these parts, find people who have the courage and experience to be with these energies with me so I don’t go into them alone (or ignore them and bypass them). Most of my life, I have and people around me have had an aversion to any acknowledgment of the blocks. We’ve been more focused on “getting rid of” or bypassing the blocks because they’re seen as “bad and wrong” or not spiritual. Impression I’ve had is something’s wrong with me for being stubborn, not being willing/able to get past the blocks. It’s an ancient part of me that keeps feeling rejected so it acts out further. I hope to approach my Module practices with fascination, like an explorer, as Mel encourages. I feel certain I need to really practice love and acceptance of these parts, rather than reject them. I’ve internalized my Dad’s narcissistic abuse (NA) and have become my own worst enemy with NA. And I know that I also have that unconditional love and connection to True Self (which I’ve experienced many times … just not consistently or with frequent or immediate access when I need/want it). QFH gives me a “real,” practical tool to strengthen my relationship with TS.

    I am very grateful for all the QFH/Shifts Happen videos that I’ve watched and “immersed” into while watching and listening to Mel and member. They’ve been valuable supplemental support to my own private Module work. And, since I can’t be there live with any of you, this is the next best thing to feeling like I am.

  • pauline.burke68@gmail.com'
    Pauline
    June 19, 2017

    Dear Devon and Mel,
    Thank you so much for your generosity, authenticity, and courage. You have inspired so many people who really need support. I have continued working on myself, and on my 17-year-0ld son by proxy.
    I had to overcome blocks, resistance, and self-doubt, but I am so glad that I keep going even when I felt disheartened because JUST after the biggest breakdown moments, come the biggest breakthroughs. I wish you both so much wellbeing and I fell so grateful that the universe has led me here.
    I collected my son’s school report on Friday, and he is top of his class, but the greatest happiness for me as a single Mum is how the teachers spoke with such love for him; for his humility, honesty and maturity. One teacher took my hand, looked me in the eyes and said ‘You are the most beautiful Mother that your son could ever have wished for, and I am so happy to have him in my class’. I told her how grateful I am for the dedication, passion and belief in their mission that these teachers are giving to their students (I am a teacher myself). My son is doing part-time work for the summer. He has been treating me with so much more kindness and respect, and people keep complimenting me on what a lovely young man he is.
    Until four months ago he had spent years playing on his pc in his room, and was mostly hostile and subdued in his behaviour towards me. Now he has stopped gaming completely, and goes out with friends all the time. He has totally transformed!
    I will keep working on myself, and on my son by proxy, and I am so thankful to you Mel and Devon. I hope my story can help others in some way.
    Much love,
    Pauline Xxx

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