Comments on: Somatic Narcissists – The Complete Guide

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By: Cardan David

Cardan David — Mon, 19 Feb 2024 13:00:43 +0000

I fell for the proverbial male somatic narcissist. I liked that he was bi sexual, he just happened to be overly attractive. I got love bombed, devalued and discarded in 3 months. I am a empathetic, so you know he had awesome time manipulating me. I am fairly intelligent. I never had an experience with this kind of person. He would threaten to hurt himself, forcing me to tell him I love him. I knew my feelings were out of wack, but could not pin point what he was doing. This man never told me he was married ! He give me the silent treatment. He told me he cared for me, then when I question his contrary actions, GASLIGHT me about it ! I was not ready for this of man. I have preexisting conditions. He would have the tears rolling out my eyes, just by ignoring me. I was never going to tell him I loved him. I felt 3 months was too early. I basically served myself on a silver platter to him, not knowing he had NPD ! Telling him things like “all I can think about is you” and “I’m falling for you” made him salivate at emotionally body slamming me. My honesty costed me. this guy NPD is so bad, it pushes his sexuality into deviant behavior. He 59 so his disorder has “set in”. I kept wondering was he was not “connecting” and “showed no empathy” for my feelings. When I confronted him about the behavior, I caused “narcissistic injury” calling him arrogant and accused him of showing off the house (which he was he uses it to Garner supply) he cut me off ! I wondered why he was so sensitive, because I used no pejoratives or profanity ! This guy checks 8 out 9 trait boxes for NPD. He is a nudist first off. Second off he has a nice body and handsome face. So he has the perfect weapon. He sent me to the doctor ! I’m doing a little better now, but I was very depressed about this. People will also say I deserved this because I’m bi sexual. I get it. I also had no support, because of the nature of this affair. Again, he is married, going thru a dissolution and still living in the home with the wife sexless. He had me walking on egg shells, so I never asked who the women was. I assumed she was a concubine, due to his looks lol. I will heal from this. It took a toll on me. I’m not shallow. This man was extremely charismatic and charming. Had he told me he was married in the beginning, it would have went nowhere because I don’t do that, nor I’m I experienced to deal with a wedded person. I don’t see how women do this. I stepped out to date after 9 years and got hit by a mack truck. What’s the odds of me running into a somatic narcissist that’s also a sociopath ? All I asked was emotional upkeep. I have nice clothes and jewelry already.

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By: ST Wonder

ST Wonder — Wed, 28 Aug 2019 20:29:18 +0000

Thank you for this article. Really it is so accurate!

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By: Alisa Malhotra

Alisa Malhotra — Sun, 17 Mar 2019 16:29:25 +0000

Thank you for share this article. It is so accurate! and truly a good post.
Thank you.

By: Alisa Malhotra

Alisa Malhotra — Sun, 17 Mar 2019 16:28:47 +0000

Thank you for share this article. It is so accurate! and truly a good post.
Thank you!

By: Alison

Alison — Fri, 13 Oct 2017 04:29:24 +0000

Bingo! The light went on while I was reading this article. For seven years I worked within a beehive of female narcissists all of a certain physical type who had the “approval” of management all the way to the top b/c of their “good looks”. I didn’t match their appearance type, and was treated like a second-class citizen especially when I did not allow myself to be pressed into a role of “supply”. I’ve been working through your material for several months and definitely knew they were on the narcissist spectrum, and now I understand that they were somatic narcissists. All about looks, never got any work done, and some of them couldn’t spell (this at a major multinational corporation, I might add!) When I’d give constructive feedback on a project, the response across the board was “but she’s so pretty. And she wears jewelry”.
Then I flashed back to my parents who now I understand were also somatic narcissists…so stuck on their physical appearance to the exclusion of other responsibilities to the point of insanity. As they aged and began to loose their “looks” they were in a near constant state of frenzied panic and insecurity. They were both lazy and didn’t plan their life very well. I was considered ugly by my whole clan, and only got approval when I brought home my pretty friends or a handsome boyfriend. THAT was how I got their approval! And it reveals why I wouldn’t stand up for myself around people better looking than me, and why I would get unrequited crushes on men of a certain physical type. Because these were people who gained me favor with my family when I was younger! WOW, it is a gift to understand this and clear that confusion that can now be up-leveled.
There are even more understandings coming to me as I type this. This particular issue has been so undermining in my life, and quite textbook I might add. And I walked and stayed right in the trap of trying to gain my parent’s love and approval from somatic narcs who used me but never loved, liked or appreciated me.

I’m working the NARP modules and am now feeling life coming through me, not at me. I feel like I can breathe!

It’s also a revelation that somatic narcissists may not even be beautiful but it is their way to see themselves and maintain that false self.