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	<title>False Belief Systems &#8211; Narcissism Recovery and Relationships Blog</title>
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	<description>Devastated by a narcissist? Melanie&#039;s Narcissism blog offers support &#38; empowering tools to heal &#38; thrive after narcissistic abuse, gain a new life &#38; fulfilling relationships.</description>
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	<title>False Belief Systems &#8211; Narcissism Recovery and Relationships Blog</title>
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		<title>Do you Fear Being your True Self?</title>
		<link>https://blog.melanietoniaevans.com/do-you-fear-being-your-true-self/</link>
					<comments>https://blog.melanietoniaevans.com/do-you-fear-being-your-true-self/#comments</comments>
		
		<dc:creator><![CDATA[Melanie Tonia Evans]]></dc:creator>
		<pubDate>Fri, 30 Sep 2011 01:59:31 +0000</pubDate>
				<category><![CDATA[Healing From Narcissistic Abuse]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[blog]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[co-creation]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[ego]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[egoic self]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[emotional pain]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[False Belief Systems]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[fear]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[melanie tonia evans]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[narcissism]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[relationships]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[self development]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[self empowerment]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[true self]]></category>
		<guid isPermaLink="false">https://blog.melanietoniaevans.com/?p=52</guid>

					<description><![CDATA[You know you don&#8217;t want to continue living in turmoil, yet when you imagine being free of it, you may feel the intense fear – Who will I be without this pain? This stands to reason if fear is all you&#8217;ve know&#8230; You may believe: Life is a struggle I have to fight for what [&#8230;]]]></description>
										<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>You know you don&#8217;t want to continue living in turmoil, yet when you imagine being free of it, you may feel the intense fear – <em>Who will I be without this pain? </em></p>
<p>This stands to reason if fear is all you&#8217;ve know&#8230;</p>
<p>You may believe:</p>
<ul>
<li><em>Life is a struggle</em></li>
<li><em>I have to fight for what I want</em></li>
<li><em>Nothing good comes easily </em>and</li>
<li><em>When things go right, they are followed sooner or later by something going wrong.</em></li>
</ul>
<p><span id="more-52"></span></p>
<p>All of these beliefs (and more) may have become our living reality – and of course they have been our experience&#8230;so therefore why would we choose to think any differently?</p>
<p>The answer is: <em>Because living with these belief systems does not create pleasant experiences.</em></p>
<p>In fact, because we are caught up in fight and flee and survival, this seriously detracts from the energy, time and resources to align with and create <em>What We Really Want.</em></p>
<p>&nbsp;</p>
<h2>When We Have Had Enough of the Pain</h2>
<p>So, inevitably in our process of evolution and self-development, we get to the point where we have <em>had enough. </em>We <span style="text-decoration: underline;">decide</span> that no longer do we want to live with belief systems that keep co-creating pain and struggle. We <span style="text-decoration: underline;">want</span> to transcend these negative beliefs to create a new reality.</p>
<p>This is generally the time where we <em>take responsibility </em>and realise that our beliefs are drawing in and maintaining situations and individuals in our life that reflect these painful beliefs. And in fact, when we take <em>full responsibility </em>we realise that even our childhoods were in <em>perfect and divine order </em>because they granted us the perfect conditions to learn how to love, honour and empower ourselves, become the True Creators that we are (from the inside out), and graduate to a higher level of evolution.</p>
<p>This does not dismiss what went on at all&#8230;it is about applying the consciousness to take control of our life and create a <em>better way </em>for ourselves. When we do this we stop feeling victimised and we can <em>accept the gift </em>that our journey has brought us, which was: <em>everything that we needed to heal.</em></p>
<p>Applying the responsibility: <em>I have no power to change anything other than myself</em> puts us in the driver&#8217;s seat – finally&#8230;</p>
<p>We <em>can</em> certainly challenge our fears, ego, victim feelings and powerless, stuck resentments and painful notions, and we <em>do</em> have the power within, to release all of that, and align with realities that we would much rather prefer.</p>
<p>&nbsp;</p>
<h2>The Difficulty of Letting Go of the Pain</h2>
<p>Many people engage in an empowerment journey, and start experiencing results, yet may find they <em>can&#8217;t quite breakthrough</em> to true freedom of new preferred beliefs. Often this is because the ego (survival and defence mechanisms) is in fear of <em>letting go of the pain.</em></p>
<p>It is very helpful to understand the difference between False Self and True Self.</p>
<p>Our egoic (fearful / false) self <em>loves</em> doing things the hard way. It is our pain body that is self-condemning and addicted to pain. It will unconsciously seek out pain, blame the pain on outside circumstances, miss the point and keep rolling around in the agony whilst only creating and sustaining more pain.</p>
<p>An example is: unconsciously seeking out a love relationship that reflects the inner beliefs <em>&#8220;I don&#8217;t forgive, love or accept myself&#8221;</em>, experiencing the mirror of the inner abuse, hold the &#8216;mirror&#8217; (love partner) accountable and think it&#8217;s powerless to have a great experience unless that outer person changes.</p>
<p>The egoic self is known as a False Self for very good reasons:</p>
<p>1)Its tactics don&#8217;t work in regard to who we really want to be and what we really want to experience in life.</p>
<p>2)It is aligned with (focused on) what we don&#8217;t want, rather than what we do want.</p>
<p>3) It is resentful and dismayed by its feelings of powerlessness and wants other people and outside situations to fix this for it.</p>
<p>When our False Self is at the fore, we feel tormented, confused, resentful, and that we can&#8217;t let go of &#8216;what happened to us&#8217;. We point the finger at situations and people and hold them accountable for our unhappy and painful reality.</p>
<p>The True Self <span style="text-decoration: underline;">in stark comparison </span>applies <em>consciousness. </em>It knows there is &#8216;no outer&#8217;, and that people and situations are <em>merely and magnificently </em>reflecting back the inner state which <em>grants evidence </em>as to where our level of self-love, self-acceptance and healthy beliefs are or aren&#8217;t operating.</p>
<p><span style="text-decoration: underline;">The True Self knows that the focus on <em>acceptance</em> (to the outer) and<em> dedication</em> (to the inner) is the only solution to peace, solidness within, and choosing and creating a great life.</span></p>
<p>True Healing occurs when we <em>shift away</em> <em>from False Self powerlessness into True Self empowerment</em> on any particular issue that we may struggle with in life.</p>
<p>&nbsp;<br />
<H2>Death of The Ego</H2></p>
<p>When we try to let go of fear, turmoil, struggles and false beliefs the Ego panics because it knows it&#8217;s on the way out&#8230;</p>
<p>It has many ways of trying to hang on, and through our minds (the platform and stage of the ego) we will have many thoughts such as:</p>
<p>You may believe:</p>
<ul>
<li><em>Challenges and hard work keep me productive</em></li>
<li><em>If things weren&#8217;t tough I may not grow, and I may become lazy</em></li>
<li><em>Of course I feel pain – he or she did this to me (whatever judgement that is&#8230;)<br />
</em></li>
<li><em>How can people be or do that? (whatever judgement that is&#8230;.)</em></li>
<li><em>My life is the way it is because of what he or she did (whatever judgement that is&#8230;)</em></li>
</ul>
<p>&nbsp;</p>
<div><strong>All of this represents &#8216;stuck&#8217;! And will be until the self-punishment and outer judgements shift!</strong></div>
<p>&nbsp;</p>
<div>This is the Fear of: <em>Who Will I Be Without This Pain?</em></div>
<p>In this state, struggles and painful emotions have become an identity, and unconsciously we have chosen to gain significance from our pain, and we are literally <em>addicted to the pain.</em></p>
<p>&nbsp;</p>
<h2>Who Are You REALLY?</h2>
<p>Who you are REALLY is a True Self. Your desires (what you want) are your Truth, (your soul does not get it wrong) and the Aligned You that flows forward into your self-love, self-deservedness, self- knowing is your True Self.</p>
<p>Your True Self is your most natural state of being – it is where you are At One With Life and At One With Yourself (in energetic reality there is no difference, they are the same thing – and in fact you only have to be At One with one of these two to automatically be at One with the other).</p>
<p>Therefore this is Who and What you have to look forward to. If you have the ability to have empathy, compassion and you have a conscience, then your True Self is waiting for you patiently to clear out the garbage that is spoiling this flow.</p>
<p>The Ego will try and convince you that without Pain you are Nothing&#8230;and there is Nothing&#8230;and worse still that without the pain you will be vulnerable, ripped apart and annihilated&#8230;</p>
<p>All of these things are total fallacy, these are all False Belief Systems. When you clear the pain, you become your True Self, because that is Who You Are, Who You Will Always Be, and Who You Have Ever Been&#8230;it is the Real You.</p>
<p>The more and more you <em>come home to Self </em>the more you will vibrate, feel and know what is your Truth, and you will easily avoid and no longer participate with what isn&#8217;t, and you will know that every &#8216;disadvantageous&#8217; and &#8216;painful&#8217; situation is a Gift allowing you to know you need to shift your understanding of this situation to a True Self Level.</p>
<p>All of it is giving you the Golden Opportunity to Be Aligned.</p>
<p>Without the pain <em>life works, </em>and it literally <em>flows effortlessly. </em>What You Want becomes you reality and What You Don&#8217;t Want falls away from your experience – because you are no longer a vibrational match for it&#8230;</p>
<p>I hope this inspires you to make it your grandest mission to transcend the pain!</p>
<p>&nbsp;</p>
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<p>&nbsp;</p>
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