True Freedom is the being at one with Self and Life. It’s about being at peace.

Sounds great doesn’t it?

But how do we get there, and most importantly how do we stay there?

Breaking Free from Co-dependency

Undoubtedly the first step to achieving True Freedom is breaking free from the amnesia that has been imposed on the human condition – co-dependency.

We have all been modelled to believe that we have to get our self from outside of our self. We have all come from conditioning and programming that has led us to feel that we are unlovable and unworthy. Many structured religions stated that if left to our own devices that we are carnal and that we will do the wrong thing. We were told that we were worthless and empty unless we filled ourselves up with something greater than ourselves…We were made to feel shame, guilt, and self-judgement, and that we were unacceptable as our self.

Our parents and our peers were also modelled under the same conditions. We were not exposed or brought up by role models of healthy self-love.

Unfortunately this feeling of being empty and unworthy caused us to turn to ‘the outside’ in order to try and feel whole. We didn’t trust ourselves, we didn’t know that we were lovable and worthy, and we believed we could never feel this way on our own.

We looked out to life and pleaded “Please will someone or something come along to make me feel okay about me!”

And we did feel okay, if someone was loving us, or if we had a new car, or a new home, or a new wardrobe or hair do. If this happened, we would temporarily feel good about ourselves. But what happened when this person decided to stop loving us, (or didn’t keep telling us they loved us ten times a day) or when the novelty of our new car wore off, or after the first month of setting up our new home with furniture and decorating expired, or when our new clothes became a part of our everyday routine?

We went back to feeling unlovable and unworthy.

Why? Because we always believed that our own good feelings had to be provided from the outside. We didn’t realise that WE are the source of this to ourselves, and being this source is in fact our natural state that the conditioning of ‘the outside has to provide it’ disconnected us from.

The only way out of this painful bind is to wake up from the illusion. Can you see that it became very easy to control you? Can you see that it made you buy stuff? Can you see that it encouraged you to go into debt creating certain institutions to flourish?

I love the story about Buddha. This story goes like this: Buddha said to man “I have hidden your divinity somewhere where you will never find it”.

So man determinedly wanted to prove Buddha wrong, and set out to find his own divinity. He scoured every inch of the planet, the deepest oceans, the highest mountain, and the farthest ranges. He searched every nook and cranny.

Man came back to Buddha and said “You’re right you have put my divinity where I wouldn’t find it. Please tell me where it is”. Buddha replied “You were only ever going to find your own divinity after you had exhausted every other avenue. Your divinity has always been within you, it is YOU.”

Breaking free of co-dependency is the first essential step to break free from the powerless and imposed conditioning that has rendered you unworthy, unlovable and empty. It has caused you to forget the greatest truth of your entire existence, which is: Nothing outside of you can give you YOU, only you can.

And then, true to Law of Attraction, you then become the energetic force that attracts ‘more of you’, because that is what you have always done! Then there will be no more attracting, maintaining and participating with who, and what makes you feel unlovable and unworthy.

Boundaries are EVERYTHING

I can’t state this enough, boundaries are what allows us to create and keep our true freedom.

It is astounding when we don’t have a grip on boundaries, we have no idea what they mean, how to implement them and that we even have a right to implement them in our life.

Co-dependency and lack of good boundary function truly do go hand-in-hand. When I was a total co-dependent I used to believe that people owed me good behaviour. I had a righteous indignation regarding people that acted poorly and didn’t respect others. After all I was a good person – I wouldn’t treat people that way! How dare they?

I remember, way before I had any sort of grip on boundaries, I was on the phone complaining to a girlfriend about a lady who was blocking my parking spot in the street. I said to her “How rude, I can’t believe this woman does this!”, as well as a whole heap of other associated judgements and self-righteous statements.

My friend listened patiently (she was much more evolved than me at the time) and said “Have you asked her to move her car?” I said to her “No, why should I have to, she should just know!”

Wow! Boy did I know nothing about boundaries, and boy was I a powerless whining being!

When you do understand boundaries you realise that it is about being aligned with the truth of your life and being prepared to calmly and clearly back it.

It is also about knowing that NO-ONE owes you anything!

Please understand no-one is responsible for your well-being, emotional vibration and truth. Why not? The answer is simple – because YOU are the creator of it!

It was not surprising that I regularly attracted rude and violating people – because I was taking NO responsiFbility to be the caretaker of my life…I was instead playing the ‘righteous police’ from a very passive-aggressive, powerless place.

Since understanding boundaries, I totally accept that people can be and do whatever they want to be and do (everyone has their own model of the world), and that isn’t my business. What is my business is Who I Choose to Be, and what action next to take to live the way I want.

That is True Freedom – knowing that I can create my truth, regardless of what someone else is or isn’t doing, because I can create and maintain my own alignment and safety in life. I can (without judgement, fear or pain) ask for what I need, and if people don’t have the resources to be respectful, than I can take further action (like an intervention order if an extreme case), or choose not to participate. It’s not personal – it’s just me walking truth, and my well-being is not dictated by anyone else.

I am the creator of it.

Acceptance and Resistance

The next step is: Understanding the difference between Acceptance and Resistance.

You may think that when you say “No” to something, and state you don’t like it, and think it stinks, that you are eliminating it from your life.

Wrong!

When you charge on something, when you think about what you don’t like, when you talk about it, when it annoys you, hurts you or creates your despair, you attract more of that into your life.

Imagine walking down an enormous corridor with a mural on every wall. Imagine that this mural has pictures of pain and destruction, and pictures of love and bliss, and everything in-between. If you take your eyes and focus to the pain and destruction and judge it, you start feeling it, and in fact your body starts to feel it as well.

Why? Because you have just invited this pain and destruction into your reality. You have in fact vibrationally become this pain and destruction.

What do you think is going to be vibrationally drawn into your life now?

Resistance is judgement. Resistance / judgement comes from the human illusion that something is ‘wrong’ or ‘right’.

In Ultimate Truth (which always sets you free) there is no such thing as ‘wrong’ or ‘right’. There is only what serves you and what doesn’t serve you to create Who You Are and what you want to do.

In the physical Universe every polar opposite exists. There is hot / cold, up / down, light / day. All of this needs to exist because you can’t have one without the other.

There is also of course the vibrational polarity of fear and love.

If you condemn any of this (or anything that ‘triggers’ this) then you are holding yourself separated from the version you do want to receive / achieve.

Your job (once working through releasing co-dependency and creating healthy boundaries – which is essential first), if you truly want to be Free – is to accept that all of it exists, and all of it has its place and none of it is ‘right’ or ‘wrong’.

It is all meant to exist so that you can be a conscious creator observing it all, and then choosing to focus on your preference in relation to Who You Are and What You Want To Create.

Any time you judge, and ‘make up’ (yes it’s a choice) that what you are experiencing is ‘wrong’, that ‘wrongness’ is Who YOU Become and What YOU Start To Create because you have connected to it and made it your reality.

When I learnt this stuff, I realised very quickly (when I had my awakening on the bathroom floor that day) the simplicity of the Ultimate Reality Truth I have written here. I knew I had a long way to go, but realised where I had to go to achieve True Freedom. So I got started on it…

In every area of my life that I was judging, I stopped myself. Instead of bringing the horrible vibration into my being as a result of my believing it was ‘wrong’, I started to bless and accept this thing in my experience and used my observation (without pain and fear) to make the decision as to whether or not this was My Reality, and to be My Truth and act accordingly.

Astounding things started immediately happening. I stopped dragging into my experience all the things that I didn’t want – namely fear, abuse, violation, catastrophes, hold-ups, disappointments and betrayals (I had a lot to work on).

I broke Free.

I stopped trying to fix and change the aspects of life that used to keep showing up that were hurting me (because I judged them as ‘wrong’), and in fact these things stopped turning up.

I started flowing towards who I really was, and what I really wanted. I was consciously choosing the pictures in my mural of life, and easily detaching from the pictures that were Not My Reality..

I love the ‘NMR’ acronym!

Why? Because when something comes into my life that doesn’t serve me to create Who I Am, I just say “Not My Reality!”

Give it a try…

Acceptance is True Freedom. Because when we have acceptance, we fear nothing. We realise that life is not meant to be perfect. We realise it has a flow, and a system of ‘tide in’, ‘tide out’, that it has it’s cycles – just like the moon, and menstruation.

We realise that in the down turns that we can be in acceptance, and each time we have a downturn that observation and deciding Who We Are in relation to this downturn always creates growth opportunities to expand and heal a previous problem that was keeping us stuck in painful patterns.

We then are able to evolve and create a higher and higher vibrations for ourselves because of these times. Therefore we can welcome these times without fear and in total acceptance..

Night must come before day, and when we do a ‘night’ in acceptance we create consciousness, and when day breaks we start experiencing days that were more glorious than we could ever imagine.

If we keep doing resistance / judgement in our ‘nights’ we stay stuck in pain and fear, and we get nothing but night after night after night.

Daybreak never comes.

Maybe you will start to realise areas of your life that you judge as ‘wrong’ whilst trying to force them to be ‘right’. When this realisation first dawned on me, I knew that I was judging many areas of my life, that were continuing as patterns in my life – patterns that didn’t serve me. What areas of your life do you find yourself judging the most?