Today, we’re going to explore how, by reclaiming your True Self and aligning with your 5D ascension path, you can break free from the narcissist’s hold and move forward into a life of true empowerment, abundance, and purpose.

Join us in this episode for transformative insights—watch below:

Explore the key takeaways and 3 transformative Power Intentions below:

Why the Narcissist Fears Your True Self

Let’s talk about why narcissists are drawn to certain people—particularly to those who are empathetic, sensitive, and deeply caring. These qualities are a part of your True Self, and they make you a natural healer, a bringer of peace, and a source of Light. But these same qualities also make you a target for narcissists. They feed off your energy, using you as a source of supply.

However, there’s something important to know: the narcissist’s greatest fear is that you will recognize your worth, reclaim your power, and embody your True Self. When you do, you no longer need them, and they lose their control over you.

Common Energetic Chains from Narcissistic Abuse

Narcissistic abuse creates many layers of energetic chains that can keep you feeling stuck, small, and fearful. These chains are designed to keep you in a state of self-doubt and dependency, disconnected from your True Self. Some of the common ways these chains manifest include:

• Emotional Addiction – Feeling hooked on the narcissist’s validation, unable to fully let go.
• Fear and Anxiety – Being trapped in survival mode, afraid to speak up or make decisions.
• Belief in Unworthiness – Internalizing their devaluation, making you feel like you don’t deserve better.
• Guilt and Shame – Believing everything is your fault, lowering your sense of self-worth.
• Self-Doubt and Confusion – Constantly questioning your reality due to gaslighting, feeling disconnected from your intuition.
• Energetic Cording – Remaining tied to the narcissist on an energetic level, which drains your life force and vitality.

These chains are exactly what keep you in a 3D reality—bound to survival, fear, and scarcity. But here’s the truth: when you reclaim your True Self and align with your higher purpose, you transcend these limitations and break free from the narcissist’s influence.

The Journey from 3D to 5D: Becoming Your True Self

If you’ve been following my work, you know that I speak often about the journey of ascension from 3D to 5D consciousness. Narcissistic abuse traps people in a 3D existence—an existence of fear, survival, and pain. However, the path to ascension is about moving beyond this and aligning with the higher frequencies of 5D, which are love, unity, and abundance.

In 5D, you’re no longer bound by the narcissist’s control or the trauma of the past. Instead, you’re empowered to live in your full, authentic frequency, creating from your soul and Source.

Reclaiming Your Light and Embracing Your Starseed Mission

Many people who experience narcissistic abuse are intuitive, sensitive souls who feel a deep sense of purpose on this planet. You may even identify as a Starseed or lightworker, here to uplift humanity and assist in the healing of others. This powerful mission becomes activated when you reclaim your True Self.

This is why narcissists are so drawn to your Light and why they also fear it. The very qualities they exploit—your sensitivity, empathy, and caring nature—are also the keys to your liberation and transformation.

As painful as narcissistic abuse is, it often serves as a catalyst that forces you to confront the darker parts of yourself and the world, allowing you to rise above these challenges. By embracing this journey, you step into your True Self, embodying confidence, unity, and a higher purpose.

Power Intentions for Rising into Your True Self

If you’re ready to reclaim your power and align with your True Self, impervious to abusers and abuse, let’s set some powerful intentions to support you in this journey.

• “I am free from all energetic chains and attachments of fear, pain, and suffering. I align my heart, mind, and soul with my highest purpose, transcending all limitations into my true 5D self.”
• “I reclaim my power, releasing all imprints of trauma, doubt, and disempowerment. I activate my Light body, embodying confidence, love, and unity as I fulfill my authentic mission.”
• “I open myself to infinite love, abundance, and connection, knowing my healing is part of a greater mission. I am here to ascend, to inspire, and to guide others toward freedom and wholeness.”

By repeating these intentions, you anchor into the energy of your True Self, transcending the limitations of the past and stepping boldly into your highest purpose.

Join the Spa for the Soul Event to Go Deeper

If this episode resonates with you, and you’re ready to reclaim your True Self and step into your 5D path, I invite you to join me in the Spa for the Soul Ascension Workshop this November. This live, donation-based event will be a powerful experience where we’ll dive into three specific Quanta Freedom Healing shifts designed to help you release the past, activate your Light body, and align fully with your True Self.

In this workshop, we’ll focus on clearing old energetic imprints, integrating cosmic energies of ascension, and reconnecting you with your authentic self. This is your chance to break free from the past, reclaim your power, and become the person you were truly meant to be.

You can sign up at www.melanietoniaevans.com/ascension or type “ascend” in the comments, and I’ll send you the details. Don’t miss this chance to experience deep healing and quantum shifts to help you reach your highest potential.

Thrivers, I want you to know that healing and transformation are not just possible—but they are your destiny. When you become your True Self, you dissolve the narcissist’s influence, step into your power, and fulfill your greater mission. Keep moving forward, keep rising, and remember—you were born to thrive.

If this information resonates with you, please comment and share it with someone in need.

Much love, Thrivers. Until next time, stay connected to your highest self, and remember—you were born to rise. Thrive On! 🦋

Learn how narcissistic dark souls drain your Light and energy and discover how to break free from their control by reconnecting with your true Source and power.

Introduction:

Happy almost Halloween, Dear Thrivers!

This topic is so relevant to this time (in many ways!)

If you’ve ever felt drained, confused, or disconnected after dealing with a narcissist, you’re not alone. Narcissists don’t just harm you emotionally—they steal your Light. In this blog post, we’ll explore how narcissists act as energetic parasites, draining your energy, joy, and autonomy, and we’ll introduce the concept of Wetiko, an ancient mind virus that explains this behavior. Most importantly, I’ll share how you can reclaim your Light and heal from narcissistic abuse.

Why Are Narcissists Considered Dark Souls?

Narcissists are often referred to as “dark souls” because they operate from a deep disconnection from Source energy. Lacking their own inner Light, they rely on manipulating and controlling others to fill their inner void. This isn’t just about emotional manipulation—it’s energetic theft.

Narcissists drain you in multiple ways:

• Self-Worth: By belittling you, they cause self-doubt and confusion.
• Energy: Constant emotional manipulation leaves you feeling exhausted.
• Joy: They dominate your experiences, robbing you of happiness and fulfillment.
• Autonomy: They control your decisions, leaving you disconnected from your authentic self.

Recognizing these behaviors is the first step to reclaiming your power and Light.

How Narcissists Drain Your Light

Narcissists act like black holes, consuming your vitality and leaving you feeling lost and depleted. This often results in:

• Confusion: Gaslighting causes you to doubt your reality.
• Disconnection: You feel cut off from your true self.
• Emotional Numbness: After enduring so much abuse, you may feel detached from your emotions.
• Fear: Narcissists thrive on fear, keeping you trapped in a state of anxiety and hypervigilance.

Understanding Wetiko: The Mind Virus Behind Narcissism

The term Wetiko comes from Native American wisdom and describes a psychic infection—a mind virus of selfishness and disconnection from empathy. Much like narcissism, Wetiko operates on a collective level, affecting individuals and systems alike.

Powerful systems in our world—political, corporate, and even societal structures—mirror narcissistic behaviors, exploiting resources and feeding off the energy of individuals for their own gain. These systems, like narcissists, thrive on division, control, and fear. But there’s hope: you can break free from narcissistic abuse in your personal life, as well as exploitative systems and structures that attempt to control and mine you.

Reclaiming Your Light and Breaking Free from Wetiko

Healing from narcissistic abuse isn’t just about cutting ties—it’s about reconnecting with your own Source of energy and reclaiming your autonomy. To truly break free, you must actively engage in the inner work of releasing the trauma and false beliefs that have kept you in darkness, fear, and confusion.

Narcissists cannot heal from the psychic virus of Wetiko unless they take personal responsibility, which they rarely do. But you can break free by taking responsibility for your healing and reclaiming your Light.

How to Heal and Rise Beyond Victimhood

As you release the trauma inflicted by narcissists and the collective infection of Wetiko, you step into your full power. Your Light can never be fully stolen—it’s always within you, waiting to be reclaimed.

Please find the following power statements to inspire and help shift your reality!

Conclusion:

No narcissist, no parasitic system, and no infection like Wetiko can take away your Light. Your journey toward reclaiming your power starts with taking radical personal responsibility and healing from within.

💔 Are you still in your Painbody because of narcissistic abuse?  The Narcissistic Abuse Recovery Program™ (NARP), with the super-tool Quanta Freedom Healing™, helps you release trauma and reclaim your true self. Thousands have already transformed their lives, with the proven 10-step formula—now it’s your turn!
✨ ✨ Join NARP here: https://www.melanietoniaevans.com/narp and step into freedom.✨ ✨

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Upcoming Event:

November Spa For Your Soul: 5D Ascension Workshop
Tuesday, November 12th – Online via Zoom:

Are you ready to claim your Lightbody and step into your true power with a transformative Soul Spa experience?

Through deep Quanta Freedom Healing™ shifts and 5D activations, you’ll release limiting blocks, reconnect with Source, and embody the Light that is truly yours.

Receive a 5D Ascension workbook, access bonus gifts, and join exciting competitions—all designed to support your profound ascension and realignment with your highest self.

This is a pay-what-you-like event (it’s all about abundance!).

Join us for this transformative event and step into your next level of growth!
✨ ✨ Register here: https://www.melanietoniaevans.com/ascension ✨✨

I’d love to hear your thoughts and questions about this topic.

Did you find these power statements helpful and empowering? Have you realized that narcissism is a collective, as well as personal, problem on our planet?

Are you taking back your Light?

Have you heard about “Wetiko” before, and what do you think about this concept?

Much Love,
Mel 🧡 

But to most of you, this may seem very difficult.

You might believe that putting yourself first is selfish or feels wrong in some way.

You might even be confused about what self-love is!

No doubt, throughout your narcissistic relationship, you experienced many times when your needs were neglected and seen as unimportant.

To make matters worse, the narcissist’s efforts to continually derail you, using any available or fabricated ammunition against you and projecting his or her behavior onto you (making it all out to be your fault), will have succeeded in smashing your self-esteem to pieces.

You want to get better and heal after this tragic event in your life, but when faced with the task of providing yourself with unconditional love and encouragement, it might seem like climbing Mount Everest would be easier.

You might have been doing the exact opposite for so long. You may have a history of putting everyone else’s needs before yourself. And most certainly, your relationship with the narcissist has been all about him or her rather than you. It is usual that due to the narcissist blaming you and because your emotions have felt so tormented, you have become critical of yourself rather than supportive.

I want you to know that this difficulty was normal (and was certainly experienced by me) before I started making an effort to give myself the love and encouragement that I needed to recover.

When you first change your behavior, it can feel unnatural, but if you commit, you can drastically alter your life in ways you couldn’t imagine.

Today, I want to help you start moving forward in your recovery by showing you how to provide genuine love and support. This is achieved by moving forward into acceptance and taking responsibility for what you have been through.

There are two types of healing I consistently see about narcissistic abuse – and they are truly polar opposites – one being non-healing, where the ability to thrive, let alone basically recover, is stunted, and true-healing, whereby the individual thrives and creates a much more empowered self as a result of being narcissistically abused.

The difference comes down to this:

Growing through the experience, or

just trying to go through the experience.

So, how do we grow through the experience?

We grow by using our narcissistic experience to heal and change our lives for the better.

This has to be done by (after initially discovering what ‘narcissism’ is) getting our focus off the narcissist and firmly on ourselves so that we can heal our pain, fear, and insecurities.

This is very hard to do if we choose to stay in pain. This occurs if we are not committed to healing and changing ourselves.

If we don’t commit to healing ourselves, we will resist getting better—and we will not even be at first base in regard to getting well.

We stay separated from ourselves.

Shifting Through Resentment and into Acceptance

As soon as we start judging ourselves in relation to how bad our lives have ended up, the emotional pain becomes unbearable.

Statements such as:

How could I have stayed so long?

How could I have been tricked so easily?

I’m so stupid!

I have wasted (however many) years of my life.

My life has become everything terrible that I never imagined it would become.

We may try and reduce the emotional pain by shifting the blame onto something outside of ourselves (usually the narcissist), which, of course, renders us more powerless…

We start recovering when we understand why and how we can accept what happened to us without judgment.

This means we need to face, embrace, and support our unhealed parts without pain or self-judgment. It is about accepting and embracing them unconditionally with self-acceptance.

You are your most powerful force. You are the key person who can heal, love, support yourself, and create change. Everything you need is within you.

I now understand this so well. It was fundamental to my healing and has been to many other people’s recovery.

Healing starts with taking responsibility.

Yes, he or she is a narcissist who is impossible to have a healthy relationship with – BUT if you make this healing journey about you and healing the unhealed parts that created you as susceptible to narcissist abuse, you will create a healing experience that genuinely defies one you believed was possible.

I often find that the people who are stuck in non-recovery are not just blaming the narcissist; they are also deeply ashamed of themselves for being ‘so stupid,’ ‘wasting my life,’ ‘losing everything I put in’ ‘trusting this person only to get destroyed, discarded, etc., etc.’  and the list goes on and on.

Please know I understand these normal human painful emotions, and all the way up until my breakdown, I was doing all of these things myself.

When I ask people the question, “Were you ‘full and happy before they met the narcissist?” the question means within yourself, within your own soul.…because you may need to accept (to get well) that the system of life is ‘energetic’ it is not ‘practical.’

Many of us were ‘independent’ and even ‘successful’. In fact, many, many people who were narc abused are very capable and independent people, yet not emotionally ‘whole’.

It is also common for people to meet narcs after years of being single. But again, it comes back to ‘Was I whole?’, and ‘Did I have beliefs about myself and life that allowed me to be whole?” or ‘Do I even know what being whole is?’

Taking on the shame and blame is a choice – and is a long way from ‘I accept I have unhealed parts, and this is why I was in a narcissistic relationship, and NOW I CAN accept and heal them’.

Shame and blame only come when we can’t accept this about ourselves and make our recovery all about ourselves.

When we let go of the focus on shame and blame and move forward into the proactive energy of creating what we do want instead of staying stuck in what we don’t want, everything changes.

The Two Vital Questions You Must Ask Yourself

If you are having difficulty shifting into acceptance and moving forward in your recovery, ask yourself these questions:

“Why would I keep hanging on to resentment when it is only going to bring me more emotional pain and more of the behaviors of love partners and people that I resent?” and

“Why did I attract and sustain a relationship with a narcissist?”

When we are ready to honestly confront and take responsibility (not make it about anyone else but ourselves) for these questions from a true soul level, we are in a position to start getting well.

If you cannot embrace and honestly start working with these questions, you are stuck in your ego. This is perfectly understandable when you have been hurt and are still in pain and fear.

Your ego wants justice, revenge, and accountability—and the ego needs to be ‘right’ and make someone else ‘wrong’. Even if you got ‘justice’ (and you won’t if trying to force justice and accountability from a space of pain), your ego would get a feed momentarily, and then you would STILL be feeling terrible after it wore off.

Nothing we achieve through our ego holds, feels durably good, or is sustainable – ever!

We can let our ego kick, scream, and condemn for as long as we like—and the result will be the same—we keep hitting brick walls and experiencing pain until we FINALLY accept that true healing is all about dissolving our ego, realizing it is our internal enemy. Blame and shame are all products of our egos that take us away from our liberation and not toward it.

Self Accountability

Why do we need self-accountability? We need it to become conscious and to grow. Without it, we believe ‘it’s everyone else’s fault and problem’ and don’t change ourselves.

Self-accountability is not about accepting ‘blame’—it is about making the decision to heal, grow, and become better as a result of the pain.

It is the model of knowing:

‘I realize and embrace that there are parts of me that contributed to being susceptible and powerless to narcissistic abuse.’ By accepting this, I can focus on healing these unhealed parts. Doing so can create true change and solutions in my life.

Recognizing Your Unhealed Parts

Even before you can begin recovery, you need to be aligned with proper recovery, and this is realizing that pain, blame, and shame are not aligned with getting well.

Recently, on the NARC Facebook Group, I showed an example of recognizing the unhealed parts that allowed my abuse to take place.

I started with my own list of reasons as to why I got hooked on a narcissistic relationship.

These reasons were integral parts of my personality, which existed before my narcissistic relationship:

• I was not whole or happy with myself
• I always needed some accomplishment or someone ‘loving me’ to feel okay about myself
• I was unresolved over previous relationships and had not accepted or healed the unhealed parts that showed up within these painful relationships.
• I had never learned to love and accept myself unconditionally ‘just for being me.’
• I believed I was only lovable for what I could produce
• I was never able to just ‘be’ without being obsessive/compulsive and thinking about ‘what I should be doing.’
• I found it very hard to treat myself nicely, nurture or value myself
• I was my own worst critic rather than knowing how to speak to myself lovingly and supportively
• I could not accept compliments easily and believe I deserved them
• I could not let people into my life without fearing they had agendas or would control me
• I was suspicious of other people, and I didn’t know if I could trust myself to honor me, lay boundaries, and walk away rather than rely on someone else to ‘love me.’

The list goes on and on, and the truth is that I could write 10 pages.

The truth is I was NOT real with myself (unconditional love and support), and I gravitated into a relationship with ANOTHER false person!

I have no shame in admitting these things, and I have incredible relief in doing so.

I am still imperfect, but my life now is about taking responsibility instead of blaming life and others for what I choose and create. Now, I can and do heal these aspects of myself instead of careering into more pain, blame, and shame with no way out.

And that is the difference now.

The Magical 55 Points of Self-Accountability and Healing

An incredible thing then happened on the NARC Page, as another member deeply fell into herself and came up with a list of 55 points as to what she recognized about herself (her belief systems) that had led her into a very painful narcissistic marriage.

These were magical.                                                                                  

They described so many of the reasons why we get narcissistically abused.

I related to so many of these points.

What was totally consistent was that many people in the group who were having big and powerful healing breakthroughs (working NARP) also did and posted as such.

These 55 points were:

1. The more I do for people, the more people will love/like, and accept me
2. If I do what people want, they will love me
3. People won’t love me for being me
4. If I disagree with people and what they say, they will not like me
5. My happiness depends on what other people are or are not doing
6. I am obsessive about other people’s bad behavior and let it control and dictate my life and how I feel. I need them to recognize their behavior and admit to it for me to feel OK
7. If I am right and they are wrong, I need to know people ‘get this’ for me to feel OK and move on
8. I sometimes let people take control because that means I don’t have to make decisions in fear of failure, and that makes me feel safe
9. People have hidden agendas, and if they say something nice, it’s because they want something from me
10. If people do something for me, they want something in return
11. I find it hard to treat and nurture myself because I do not deserve it, and people will view me as being selfish and leave
12. The less I ask for, the more I will get
13. If I voice my needs, people will leave me, and that is not OK
14. Just being me is not enough. I must be more by what everyone else deems enough
15. I did not lay clear boundaries and allowed people to walk all over me and convince me my boundaries were wrong, needy, over the top, and unacceptable
16. I am easily swayed by what other people feel is acceptable or not and do not honor my own feelings and beliefs and speak my truth
17. I must achieve other people’s standards to be accepted and be deemed acceptable
18. I alone am not enough
19. I must achieve stuff to succeed and feel whole, confident, at peace, and OK and to be accepted
20. I do/did not love myself unconditionally
21. I did not back myself and needed other people to have my back to feel ok and safe
22. I do/did not trust myself and my gut instincts
23. I was too scared to leave in fear of failure and stayed to prove my worthiness. And needed others to love me, recognize this, and acknowledge this for me to feel this
24. I am not enough, so I must prove this to people at all costs, even if it means going against what and who I really am, and as a result, I lose myself
25. I felt/feel worthless and need people to remind me of my worthiness to feel it myself
26. If I don’t have control, I will lose control
27. I was petrified of being abandoned and being replaced, so I stayed to avoid this
28. I stayed regardless of everything I knew was wrong in fear of someone else replacing me and being better than me
29. If I dismissed what I really felt and allowed him the freedom he wanted, he would want me more, and things would be OK
30. I constantly forgave people for unforgivable behavior and allowed myself to be abused over and over again
31. I did not have enough self-respect for myself and needed this from the outside to feel respected
32. I need to feel needed to feel worthy and ok
33. I get jealous/territorial/competitive/unsure of myself regarding some of the relationships other people have with other people in fear of them liking them better and abandoning me. This would mean I am not enough
34. I do not have self-confidence unless I feel amazing, look amazing, and everything is going well in my life
35. I easily lose self-confidence and become very jealous of other people and or what they have instead of knowing, loving, and being content with who I am and what I have
36. People’s opinions of me rule and dictate my life and how I feel
37. I wasted a lot of time trying to please everyone else to feel pleased within and about myself
38. I forfeited my dreams and goals, thinking that someone else could provide them for me and that they would be better
39. I have never really known what I want to do in my life and have relied/hoped that someone else could fill this hole for me
40. I am scared of failure and not being good enough and have made excuses and waited for the outside world to fix this for me because I am scared of failure and making the wrong mistake again
41. I need other people to agree with me for me to agree with me – trust myself unconditionally and feel ok
42. I constantly overanalyze thoughts and situations, make excuses for others’ behavior, and second-guess myself
43. I am far too hard on myself and am my own worst critic
44. I allowed someone to control me, my thoughts, values, and beliefs, and as a result, I lost myself
45. I don’t think I have ever been authentic. I must be the person people want me to be to be loved and accepted
46. I was obsessive about being accepted as an equal by both the outside world and with my ex-narc to feel accepted, equal, and good enough for him
47. I have relied on other people’s point of view to trust my own
48. I must prove myself and my self-worth to feel self-worth
49. I need to prove myself and am obsessive/compulsive about it
50. I allowed myself to be treated continuously in unacceptable ways because I did not lay firm enough boundaries, follow through, and have the guts to walk away and feel whole on my own
51. The kinder I am, the kinder people will be to me
52. If I did so much and was so much, I would never be replaced and abandoned
53. Being replaceable and abandoned and someone else being better, prettier, more intelligent, ‘more this more that’ petrifies me and has always been a huge issue in my life, and I fight it at all costs
54. I don’t love myself, I am not enough, and I need someone to remind me of this, accomplish stuff, have stuff, do stuff to feel good about myself and be accepted by other people
55. I was not enough for my husband, and someone else was

Unconditionally Loving and Accepting Yourself

On the same day, another member posted in the NARC Group about’ What is loving myself?’ and ‘I have no frame of reference to do this.’

My response to her was:

“Self-love is acknowledging our inner dysfunctions and what has not worked for us.

The 55 points are a magnificent list, allowing us to embrace and realize so much. THEN we look at this wounded, hurt part of ourselves as our inner child and say to this part of ourselves, ‘You precious, darling, lovable soul, I adore you with all of my heart, and because I love you so much, I am going to do everything in my power to help you, heal you, support you, and help you get better’.

That is what loving ourselves is.

It is a dedication, a devotion, a commitment, and then we immediately are ‘self-love’, and we get to create more and more and more of it.

And THEN we get to attract the REAL deal from life—as an inevitable match of who we are to ourselves.

Our inner child has been screaming out in pain for help, devotion, and love and was unfortunately trying to get that from ‘outside of us’ because we didn’t go to her ourselves. She could never get this from ‘the outside.’ It HAD TO come from us – and that is why, until now, she was not getting better.

This is why it is ALWAYS about healing the self with unconditional love and focus. There is nothing else to change or fix! “

The member answered with another post, amazed at how ‘simple’ the concept of ‘loving herself’ was.

My next response was:

“It is incredible how the ‘truth’ is always so simple. Our egos, our minds, and the human condition have caused us to complicate everything to the extreme! That is great news that you understand and can commit to the simple, true formula now! Now you are on your way ‘home’ – absolutely. All you need to do is ‘do’ this, the ‘being’ of loving you.”

I would love you to join in on the self-accountability exercise by listing the reasons why you got hooked on a narcissistic relationship. You can use your own examples or ones from the magical 55-point list. If you would like, please share your answers in the comments below. However, if you would like to keep it private, just write the list for yourself.

This exercise will allow you to recognize your unhealed parts that require healing to start accepting, embracing, and healing them unconditionally.

Once you recognize your insecure, broken parts and step up with love, you become the loving, supportive, healing source to yourself you may have never been before this point.

This is the key to change your life – forever. This is the absolute formula to come out of narcissistic abuse and finally love yourself without exception.