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	<title>letting go of blame &#8211; Narcissism Recovery and Relationships Blog</title>
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	<title>letting go of blame &#8211; Narcissism Recovery and Relationships Blog</title>
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		<title>How To Let Go Of Blame And Claim Your Personal Power</title>
		<link>https://blog.melanietoniaevans.com/how-to-let-go-of-blame-and-claim-your-personal-power/</link>
					<comments>https://blog.melanietoniaevans.com/how-to-let-go-of-blame-and-claim-your-personal-power/#comments</comments>
		
		<dc:creator><![CDATA[Melanie Tonia Evans]]></dc:creator>
		<pubDate>Wed, 17 Oct 2012 01:35:39 +0000</pubDate>
				<category><![CDATA[Symptoms of Abuse]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[letting go of blame]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[personal power]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[taking responsibility]]></category>
		<guid isPermaLink="false">https://blog.melanietoniaevans.com/?p=1232</guid>

					<description><![CDATA[It is so easy when we have been hurt to move into the normal human response of ‘blaming’. “Something feels wrong, and someone has to be responsible for this wrong feeling.” We then quickly move into blaming. Please understand that by ‘blaming’ I mean believing: “I am in this circumstance because of what someone else [&#8230;]]]></description>
										<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>It is so easy when we have been hurt to move into the normal human response of ‘blaming’.</p>
<p><em>“Something feels wrong, and someone has to be responsible for this wrong feeling.”</em></p>
<p>We then quickly move into blaming.</p>
<p>Please understand that by ‘blaming’ I mean believing:</p>
<p><em>“I am in this circumstance because of what someone else did. What they did was wrong/immoral/etc.”</em><span id="more-1232"></span></p>
<p>Please know I am not saying these feelings are abnormal or even that they are ‘wrong’.</p>
<p>I am merely observing, and trying to create an understanding, or what <em>does </em>and <em>does not work </em>in relation to recovery from pain and abuse or any form of self-improvement.</p>
<p>Of course we may blame someone else, or we blame our self for what went wrong.</p>
<p>If we are of ‘tougher stuff’ we may tend to blame others, and if we are prone to taking on guilt and responsibility, we may tend to blame our self.</p>
<p>I promise you blaming others was how I used to operate – that was until I discovered and realised certain facts of Energetic Law – which snapped me out of the illusion that blaming others would get me anywhere.</p>
<p>Most people who blame others (just as I previously didn’t), don’t realise that the feeling of ‘blame’ they are hanging on to is actually <em>affecting and disempowering them.</em></p>
<p>You see when you ‘blame’ someone else, you overlook the potential lessons to be learned for yourself. You are waiting for someone else to change before your circumstance can improve.</p>
<p>Not only that, but your emotional Inner Identity actually knows no difference between you blaming yourself or others.</p>
<p>This is the fascinating thing about Energetic Law and how it relates to you <em>personally</em>, is that it is <em>all connected, </em>it is not logical and it is not conditional….</p>
<p>I’m going to prove this theory to you <em>physically </em>today via a muscle testing exercise.</p>
<p>&nbsp;</p>
<h2>The Human Condition of &#8216;Blaming&#8217;</h2>
<p>We may think blaming grants us relief – but truly it cuts us off from healing and making progress in our life.</p>
<p>Of course it is normal response to blame – and that can be automatic – but in is stage we need to understand <em>how and why </em>it is not helping us in getting well, and why we need to move past it as soon as we can.</p>
<p>Blaming keeps you stuck in resistance, it separates you for your awareness, the gift, and your personal graduation and healing – which only occurs authentically when you know and apply: <em>“There is a reason for this happening, and once I heal I get to move up to a level in my life where I don’t need this painful message again.”</em></p>
<p>&nbsp;</p>
<h2>When We Blame our Self</h2>
<p>Let’s get very clear, blaming – whichever way you are doing it – does not serve you.</p>
<p>I really do want to make you aware the statement <em>“I am at fault, or I refuse to be at fault”</em>, and thinking that what has happened to you has <em>anything to do with</em> ‘blame and shame’ is a far cry from <em>taking personal responsibility.</em></p>
<p>Taking person responsibility is about embracing the thinking <em>“I know there were parts of me that needed to heal, and everything happens for a reason. By taking personal responsibility I can grow, I can learn and I can become empowered so that I never have to go through this pain again.”</em></p>
<p>Can you see the startling difference?</p>
<p>The blame game keeps you stuck in pain, and resistance to growth without the ability to move forward.</p>
<p>Taking personal responsibility immediately allows you to feel better, because you start flowing into the healing of yourself, and the results speak for themselves when you start creating and choosing a healthier and happier life.</p>
<p>&nbsp;</p>
<h2>How Your Energy Creates Your Personal Power</h2>
<p>If you live your life logically and intellectually, it is going to be a struggle to automatically accept this information.</p>
<p>However, and if you have been aware of Energetic Law for some time, this article will take you to a deeper level of understanding of how to powerfully and <em>truly</em> create your life.</p>
<p>The purpose of this article is so you can demonstrate with yourself how Energetic Law and your thoughts / feelings are <em>directly </em>affecting your personal power.</p>
<p>The way to understand deeply <em>what is really going with you </em>can be achieved by the process of muscle testing, and the directions on how to do this are coming right up!</p>
<p>&nbsp;</p>
<h2>The Two Ways to Muscle Test</h2>
<p><strong>Muscle Test One (with yourself) </strong></p>
<p>With your dominant hand hold your thumb and middle or index finger together (whatever feels like it will make a strong connection), and make the pressure firm.</p>
<p>Now, with your non dominant hand put your thumb though the ‘circle’ you have made with your dominant hand and then join your thumb up with the index finger on your non-dominant hand.</p>
<p>You should now have a figure 8, with your non-dominant hand thumb and index finger inside your dominant hand thumb and index (or middle) finger.</p>
<p>Now I want you to say to yourself this statement</p>
<p><em>“My name is (your name)”</em></p>
<p>Now whilst keeping strong pressure with your dominant hand try to break the circuit open with your non-dominant hand by quickly pulling your non-dominant thumb and finger through to try to break the circuit.</p>
<p>If you can’t, your answer is ‘Yes’. You will have received a ‘Yes’ for this test – you won’t be able to break the circuit.</p>
<p>Now make this statement: <em>“My name is (use a different name).”</em></p>
<p>Now do the test again, making sure that you have strong pressure with your dominant hand. You will find that you will easily break the circle when you make this statement regardless of how much pressure you exert to try to keep your dominant thumb and finger ‘closed’.</p>
<p>Your answer, when you <em>can </em>break the circuit is a ‘No’.</p>
<p><strong> </strong></p>
<p><strong>Muscle Test Two (with someone else)</strong></p>
<p>Have another person hold their arm out straight and get them to make a fist. Tell them to hold their arm as strongly as they can in a straight line away from their body.</p>
<p>Ask them to make the statement</p>
<p><em>“My name is (their name)”</em></p>
<p>Now try to push their arm down. You will find that you have to exert quite a lot of pressure to do this, or (depending on their strength) you may not even be able to do this no matter how hard you try.</p>
<p>Now ask them to make this statement</p>
<p><em>“My name is (a different name).”</em></p>
<p>Now do the test again, and you will find that you are able to quite easily push their arm down no matter how strongly they try to hold it in a straight line.</p>
<p>You can change places with this person and get them to do this test with you, and you will find that the results are identical.</p>
<p>&nbsp;</p>
<h2>How Statements Affect Your Personal Power and Truth</h2>
<p>What has just occurred is a statement of truth increases personal power and strength, and a false statement decreases personal power and strength.</p>
<p>By using either (or both) methods of muscle testing you will be able to test whether or not your Inner Identity beliefs are aligned with any statements or not.</p>
<p>While doing muscle testing it is important to frame your questions in a way that you will receive a simple ‘Yes’ or ‘No’ answer.</p>
<p>For example if a man was to hold his arm out straight and make the statement <em>“I will be successful in my business”</em> and his arm does not hold when pressure is exerted on it, we know <em>he does not believe this statement deeply within himself.</em></p>
<p>And as per <em>his Inner Identity belief that he has about himself</em> he is not going to be successful.</p>
<p>His life inwardly and outwardly is going to <em>match </em>this lack of self-belief.</p>
<p>Therefore, in order for him to be successful, he must work on his Inner Identity beliefs in order to produce different outer results in his life.</p>
<p>So you may ask <em>how does all of this relate to blaming?</em></p>
<p>If you know you are blaming another person for what happened to you, or if you are blaming yourself, please do the following statements as muscle tests with yourself or with another person to help.</p>
<p>Ifyou are not sure if you are &#8216;blaming&#8217;, then the first two muscle tests will help you clarify.</p>
<p>Please make sure you write the answers down to these muscle tests, so that you can reflect later and really <em>feel into </em>what is going on for you.</p>
<p>&nbsp;</p>
<h2>The Energy that Doesn&#8217;t Serve You</h2>
<p>Please do these following muscle tests:</p>
<p>1) I am blaming (person’s name) for what happened to me</p>
<p>2) I am blaming myself for what happened to me</p>
<p>You will be very surprised to realise that it would be a usual that if you are blaming someone else – that you will also get a ‘yes’ for blaming yourself, even though you may not think you were responsible for what happened or blaming yourself at all.</p>
<p>You see, your Inner Identity does not separate <em>how you feel about others </em>from <em>how you feel about yourself. </em></p>
<p>Your Inner Identity is universal and connects <em>everything. </em>And in its connection of <em>everything </em>you are the only common denominator.</p>
<p>It all reflects back to <em>you.</em></p>
<p>Now try these next ones.</p>
<p>3) Whilst blaming I am able to create my own happiness and truth.</p>
<p>4) Whilst blaming I have to wait for someone else to fix my life for me</p>
<p>5) Whilst blaming someone else will fix my life for me</p>
<p>6) Whilst hanging on to blame I am getting well and healing</p>
<p>(You may be amazed at the answers you receive for these statements).</p>
<p>Now do this following exercise…</p>
<p>7) State three “I will somewhere in my life receive statements” regarding things you do want in your life (this will be personal for you).</p>
<p>Such as:</p>
<ul>
<li>“Whilst blaming I will somewhere in  my life receive honesty in a love relationship”</li>
<li>“Whilst blaming I will somewhere in my life receive support in a  love relationship”</li>
<li>“Whilst blaming I will somewhere in my life receive decency in a love relationship”</li>
</ul>
<p>(You be amazed at these answers – regardless of what your mind would like to think)</p>
<p>Please note at this point it is very important to understand that as per Energetic Law there is <em>only energy and ‘what is’ in the moment of now.</em></p>
<p>What this means is: your energy (beliefs) in every single moment is the creator of your future.</p>
<p>The way you <em>really </em>manifest your life is not logical. It is all coming off <em>your Inner Identity beliefs </em>and what your energy <em>is or isn’t doing now.</em></p>
<p>Each moment sets up every future moment.</p>
<p>&nbsp;</p>
<h2>The Energy that Does Serve You</h2>
<p>Please do these following muscle tests:</p>
<p>1) If I take responsibility, and heal and empower myself, I am able to create my own happiness and truth</p>
<p>2) If I take responsibility, and heal and empower myself, I don’t have to wait for someone else to fix my life for me</p>
<p>3) If I take responsibility, and heal and empower myself, I am getting well and healing</p>
<p>Now do this following exercise…</p>
<p>4)      State three “I will somewhere in my life receive statements” regarding things you do want in your life (and this will be personal for you).</p>
<p>Such as:</p>
<ul>
<li>If I take responsibility, and heal and empower myself, I will somewhere in my life receive honesty in a love relationship</li>
<li>If I take responsibility, and heal and empower myself, I will somewhere in my life receive support in a love relationship</li>
<li>If I take responsibility, and heal and empower myself, I will somewhere in my life receive decency in a love relationship</li>
</ul>
<p>Are you amazed at the results you had in these muscles tests?</p>
<p>Are you amazed at how your body speaks to you and is telling you <em>your truth?</em></p>
<p>Can you see how blaming is tearing you down and holding you separated from where you really want to be, and what you really want to create?</p>
<p>I’d love to hear your answers in the comments!</p>
<p>&nbsp;</p>
<p>People ask <em>“How do I stop the hurt and the blaming for what happened to me?”</em></p>
<p>The answer is very simple:</p>
<p><em>Take the responsibility to heal and empower yourself.</em></p>
<p>After all – your body just told you the results that will produce if you do.</p>
<p>&nbsp;</p>
<p><img decoding="async" class="alignleft size-full wp-image-141" title="Melanie Tonia Evans" src="https://blog.melanietoniaevans.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/10/signature.png" alt="" width="267" height="76" /></p>
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