Melanie Tonia Evans

Why Was I Narcissistically Abused?

Written by   Melanie Tonia Evans
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Written by   Melanie Tonia Evans
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This question can be tormenting, and it can create great anguish. Especially if we believed we had learnt the lesson before, and that after recovering from a narcissistic abuse experience we would never have to live through another one again. For many people, this is not the case. If narcissistic abuse does continue to show up in your life, you really need to understand the Laws of Life and how your Soul plays out your life experience. (more…)

This question can be tormenting, and it can create great anguish. Especially if we believed we had learnt the lesson before, and that after recovering from a narcissistic abuse experience we would never have to live through another one again.

For many people, this is not the case.

If narcissistic abuse does continue to show up in your life, you really need to understand the Laws of Life and how your Soul plays out your life experience.

Is The Narcissist Capable Of “Loving?”

Written by   Melanie Tonia Evans
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Written by   Melanie Tonia Evans
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Do you remember being a child and playing the game with a daisy, picking the petals, “He loves me, he loves me not?” When you got to the last petal you had your answer – one way or the other. When you are in a relationship with a narcissist, before you get very clear about what is really going on, that answer could change in a heartbeat. … And you are left reeling, wondering what the real answer is. (more…)

Do you remember being a child and playing the game with a daisy, picking the petals, “He loves me, he loves me not?”

When you got to the last petal you had your answer – one way or the other.

When you are in a relationship with a narcissist, before you get very clear about what is really going on, that answer could change in a heartbeat.

… And you are left reeling, wondering what the real answer is.

Forgiving Yourself For Being Hooked and Tricked By The Narcissist

Written by   Melanie Tonia Evans
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Written by   Melanie Tonia Evans
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After ending the relationship with your narcissist it is very common to be left with destruction to your security, assets, connections with family and friends, and shattered emotions, as well as all the other losses you have sustained as a result of being in a relationship with a narcissist… As you look at the rubble left lying at your feet it can be very easy to beat yourself up. You might think, “How could I have been so stupid?” “How could I have let this go on so long and get so bad!” Or, “I have ruined not just my life but also my children’s lives…” (more…)

After ending the relationship with your narcissist it is very common to be left with destruction to your security, assets, connections with family and friends, and shattered emotions, as well as all the other losses you have sustained as a result of being in a relationship with a narcissist…

As you look at the rubble left lying at your feet it can be very easy to beat yourself up.

You might think, “How could I have been so stupid?” “How could I have let this go on so long and get so bad!” Or,I have ruined not just my life but also my children’s lives…”

3 Important Points You Must Understand Before Attempting To Leave A Narcissist

Written by   Melanie Tonia Evans
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Written by   Melanie Tonia Evans
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Leaving a narcissist is never easy… To the outside world it would seem obvious that you should just ‘get out’…. but as we all know when it comes to the leaving part - and even after you go - you may really struggle with the decision. When deciding to leave a narcissist you are likely experiencing a myriad of emotions. Fear, regret, guilt, ‘what if’s’, and ‘maybe he or she could change’. You may still be holding on to the hope that this relationship could turn into everything you wish it was meant to be. (more…)

Leaving a narcissist is never easy…

To the outside world it would seem obvious that you should just ‘get out’…. but as we all know when it comes to the leaving part – and even after you go – you may really struggle with the decision.

When deciding to leave a narcissist you are likely experiencing a myriad of emotions. Fear, regret, guilt, ‘what if’s’, and ‘maybe he or she could change’.

You may still be holding on to the hope that this relationship could turn into everything you wish it was meant to be.

How To Help Your Children Who Are Affected By Narcissists

Written by   Melanie Tonia Evans
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Written by   Melanie Tonia Evans
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One of the saddest aspects of narcissistic abuse is our children can suffer. Sadly when narcissists are trying to hurt and discredit their ex-partners in every shape or form, children can be used as ammunition and get caught in the cross-fire. This can leave us dismayed, and in deep disbelief when we view the narcissist as having no conscience when it comes to the treatment of the children. When he or she has no issue with involving them, using them as pawns, and actually enjoys trying to turn the children against the ex-partner. (more…)

One of the saddest aspects of narcissistic abuse is our children can suffer.

Sadly when narcissists are trying to hurt and discredit their ex-partners in every shape or form, children can be used as ammunition and get caught in the cross-fire.

This can leave us dismayed, and in deep disbelief when we view the narcissist as having no conscience when it comes to the treatment of the children. When he or she has no issue with involving them, using them as pawns, and actually enjoys trying to turn the children against the ex-partner.

How to Make the Narcissist Powerless to Affect Your Life

Written by   Melanie Tonia Evans
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Written by   Melanie Tonia Evans
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Have you been in a situation where you were completely obsessed, terrorised and emotionally crippled with the fear of what the narcissist was going to do next, and then your worst fears came true? The smear campaign hit with maximum effect, the phone call to your boss discrediting you happened, and the threat the narcissist was holding over you was executed with ruthless intensity. Or… (more…)

Have you been in a situation where you were completely obsessed, terrorised and emotionally crippled with the fear of what the narcissist was going to do next, and then your worst fears came true?

The smear campaign hit with maximum effect, the phone call to your boss discrediting you happened, and the threat the narcissist was holding over you was executed with ruthless intensity.

Or…

Narcissistic Abuse Is The Greatest Opportunity To Create The New You

Written by   Melanie Tonia Evans
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Written by   Melanie Tonia Evans
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When you discover what narcissism is all about you know you are not the ‘sick’ one, and you know you weren’t to blame – because no-one can create a healthy relationship with a narcissist. But truly, is it enough to just know this? Is this enough for us to heal and move forward and know you will never have to experience an abusive, agonising relationship ever again? It certainly is not. (more…)

When you discover what narcissism is all about you know you are not the ‘sick’ one, and you know you weren’t to blame – because no-one can create a healthy relationship with a narcissist.

But truly, is it enough to just know this? Is this enough for us to heal and move forward and know you will never have to experience an abusive, agonising relationship ever again?

It certainly is not.

Trauma Bonding – Is It Love Or Something Else?

Written by   Melanie Tonia Evans
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Written by   Melanie Tonia Evans
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When you connected with your narcissist, did you feel like finally you had met true love? Was the connection so intense and powerful that you believed your love was truly meant to be for ever, regardless of the pain your experienced? I hear the same story time and time again, in fact nearly everyone who has joined the NARC Facebook page agrees that the relationship to the narcissist initially felt like the greatest love of their life. This article explains how this incredible connection occurs and why the bond of love feels so compelling... (more…)

When you connected with your narcissist, did you feel like finally you had met true love? Was the connection so intense and powerful that you believed your love was truly meant to be for ever, regardless of the pain your experienced?

I hear the same story time and time again, in fact nearly everyone who has joined the NARC Facebook page agrees that the relationship to the narcissist initially felt like the greatest love of their life.

This article explains how this incredible connection occurs and why the bond of love feels so compelling…

Stop Being The Scapegoat

Written by   Melanie Tonia Evans
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Written by   Melanie Tonia Evans
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When you are living with narcissistic abuse, you may have felt like everything is your fault. When you understand and become more versed on how narcissists operate, you begin to realise that narcissists project their disowned unacceptable parts on to you and make you out to be the enemy. Narcissists whittle, and blast away at your self-worth and self-belief, and because the arguments and tirades become so disturbing, so exhausting and so painful you will at these times be constantly defending yourself, fighting for your integrity and trying against all odds to prove that you are a good person with integrity, and it’s the narcissist that is actually these things which he or she is accusing you of. (more…)

When you are living with narcissistic abuse, you may have felt like everything is your fault.

When you understand and become more versed on how narcissists operate, you begin to realise that narcissists project their disowned unacceptable parts on to you and make you out to be the enemy.

Narcissists whittle, and blast away at your self-worth and self-belief, and because the arguments and tirades become so disturbing, so exhausting and so painful you will at these times be constantly defending yourself, fighting for your integrity and trying against all odds to prove that you are a good person with integrity, and it’s the narcissist that is actually these things which he or she is accusing you of.

“The Narcissist Didn’t Love Me!” Coming To Terms With This Agony

Written by   Melanie Tonia Evans
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Written by   Melanie Tonia Evans
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When we discover essential truths about narcissists, and realise that the narcissist is not capable of genuine love, it's gut-wrenching. The intense salt in the wounds is the understanding that he or she doesn't love us now, and never did so. We may experience this in many different forms. Maybe this person who once vowed and declared we are their soul mate, that they truly love us, and they can't live without us has moved on to another relationship without even a second glance. And maybe this person is attempting to discredit and destroy us, and is trying to rip us apart in property and custody battles. (more…)

When we discover essential truths about narcissists, and realise that the narcissist is not capable of genuine love, it’s gut-wrenching. The intense salt in the wounds is the understanding that he or she doesn’t love us now, and never did so.

We may experience this in many different forms. Maybe this person who once vowed and declared we are their soul mate, that they truly love us, and they can’t live without us has moved on to another relationship without even a second glance. And maybe this person is attempting to discredit and destroy us, and is trying to rip us apart in property and custody battles.