I feel I understand what you are saying. I’m living this myself now. I’ve come across this information before but have not grasped it in the way I do now, because i have to. that’s what it has become about for me, coming to terms with how unsafe I feel in my own body and therefore in life. i feel I understand what you mean about selling out to coercive forms of love because of not knowing what real love is. how is that even possible when there are primal trauma bonds and physical survival issues hijacking Source connection? This has repeated for me again and again. Coming from this survivor mentality I met my perfect mirror to reflect this to me in the most grandiose way possible – the latest in a line of them, with each one building and elaborating on the relationships before it over the course of my life. Every healing I do on myself with the NARP modules now reflects back the same thing: I came into this world not feeling safe, learned not to trust myself and so feeling weak and unstable in my own body and unable to assert myself I attracted those stronger than me and found myself reactive and easily overwhelmed. I’ve understood this cognitively for a long time, but it has never, ever shifted. The best I’ve been able to do is manage triggers, mainly by avoiding them whenever and wherever I can. But my coping strategies have run out of road now. This information is lifesaving. I can hold with the shaky, unstable, uncertain, lost, unprepared and unready feeling in my body and consciousness and know it for what it is.

I am 70 yrs old. I have experienced childhood trauma and long term treatment for depression. My father was an violent alcoholic and I lost both my parents by the age of 13. I am currently in a 8 month toxic relationship with a 68 yr man type 2 diabetic. I know it is not healthy for me but Im unsure if he is a true narcissist or borderline personality. He witnessed his 10 yr old brother die from a pedestrian/car accident they were both victims of. If he is narcissistic I know I need to walk away. If he is borderline personality or bipolar, treatment may be improve his temper/rage. His verbal episodes have increased in number and degree. He is aware when he is about to blow but cannot control it. I know I am prone to caretaker role and very much an empath. I am looking to find help for both of us. I would like to have a healthy relationship in my life and do not want to continue to attract this type of partner. I am unable to break away from my current relationship. I had much of your work and my head understands bur my heart doesn’t
I would also like any suggestions as to the type of mental health professional might also help.
Peace

Get Outlook for iOS

I’m so glad this made sense to you Zuzanna,

it changes everything …

Mel 🙏💞🦋

Melani

A great explanation.

Even my psychiatrist didn’t explain my problem that way. I was given drugs to be calmer and able to sleep.

My knowledge (I am interested in neurobiology) allowed me to accept such a cause of my problems, to free myself from the relationship with the narcissist.

Many kind regards
Zuzanna

Hi Margit,

sending you big love and healing and I’m very happy that my information has granted you hope.

Mel 🙏💞🦋