Comments on: The Deadly Dance Of The Narcissist And Co-Dependent https://blog.melanietoniaevans.com/the-deadly-dance-of-the-narcissist-and-co-dependent/ Devastated by a narcissist? Melanie's Narcissism blog offers support & empowering tools to heal & thrive after narcissistic abuse, gain a new life & fulfilling relationships. Sat, 06 Aug 2022 22:10:18 +0000 hourly 1 By: Rich Perry https://blog.melanietoniaevans.com/the-deadly-dance-of-the-narcissist-and-co-dependent/#comment-1271695 Sat, 06 Aug 2022 22:10:18 +0000 https://blog.melanietoniaevans.com/?p=11459#comment-1271695 My parents were the perfect example of dad-narc and mom-codependent. They were married over 60 years, even before anyone knew what NPD or codependency was. I grew up in this toxic environment learning how to be a good codependent always thinking I was normal. It took many years, many tears, and many failed relationships before I saw what happened to me. I have been working on healing from the decades of trauma and destruction in my life.

]]> By: Tracey https://blog.melanietoniaevans.com/the-deadly-dance-of-the-narcissist-and-co-dependent/#comment-1271360 Fri, 29 Jul 2022 14:18:57 +0000 https://blog.melanietoniaevans.com/?p=11459#comment-1271360 I am definitely a codependent people pleaser and doer. I really wish I would have come across this information earlier. It is so clear so accurate just amazing to listen to all of this information. I am just starting my journey healing from this. Unfortunately I realize now I have been in two narcissistic relationships but they were completely different. My first husband was definitely a narcissist and I believe bordered on psychopathy I was lucky to get out of there alive.

My most recent relationship of nine years has now ended. I see now that he was a benevolent narcissist extremely needy extremely giving for his own benefit. I was lucky enough to identify his financial abuse quite a while ago and I did stop giving which I believe triggered his treatment of me. He has now gone onto his new supply and I know people who know her but they are unwilling to believe me when I tell them what he’s doing, I know she is going to suffer the same fate as me maybe even possibly worse.

I wish I could go back in time, he is damaged me and my children I feel like such a horrible mother for allowing this. He has treated my young daughter the same I believe he tried to get to me through her and then discarded her she’s only 17 and I know she does not like me I hope one day she’ll forgive me.

Thank you Melanie, I really can’t thank you enough. I am doing the modules and it is so emotional but I can feel a difference. I feel so much stronger now even more so than a week ago.

Thanks again!

]]> By: Melanie Tonia Evans https://blog.melanietoniaevans.com/the-deadly-dance-of-the-narcissist-and-co-dependent/#comment-1270306 Sat, 18 Jun 2022 02:23:55 +0000 https://blog.melanietoniaevans.com/?p=11459#comment-1270306 In reply to Lisa.

I love Lisa that you have been letting go, and coming back home.

Big kudos and love to you.

Also, please know how welcome you are!

Much Love

Mel 🙏💞🦋

]]> By: Melanie Tonia Evans https://blog.melanietoniaevans.com/the-deadly-dance-of-the-narcissist-and-co-dependent/#comment-1270305 Sat, 18 Jun 2022 02:22:26 +0000 https://blog.melanietoniaevans.com/?p=11459#comment-1270305 In reply to Lori.

It’s my pleasure Lori.

I’m so pleased it helped.

Mel 🙏💞🦋

]]> By: Melanie Tonia Evans https://blog.melanietoniaevans.com/the-deadly-dance-of-the-narcissist-and-co-dependent/#comment-1270304 Sat, 18 Jun 2022 02:22:00 +0000 https://blog.melanietoniaevans.com/?p=11459#comment-1270304 In reply to Corinne Ott.

You are very welcome Corrine,

Blessings to you

Mel 🙏💞🦋

]]> By: Melanie Tonia Evans https://blog.melanietoniaevans.com/the-deadly-dance-of-the-narcissist-and-co-dependent/#comment-1270303 Sat, 18 Jun 2022 02:21:31 +0000 https://blog.melanietoniaevans.com/?p=11459#comment-1270303 In reply to Sarah.

Big hugs to you Sarah,

being hooked in is such a painful place to be.

Please consider NARP http://www.melanietoniaevans.com/narp It is the healing system that got me out of this deadly entanglement and has helped so many others.

Sending you healing and strength

Mel 🙏💞🦋

]]> By: Melanie Tonia Evans https://blog.melanietoniaevans.com/the-deadly-dance-of-the-narcissist-and-co-dependent/#comment-1270302 Sat, 18 Jun 2022 02:19:52 +0000 https://blog.melanietoniaevans.com/?p=11459#comment-1270302 In reply to Kathleen.

This is so lovely Kathleen that you have returned home to you!

Big kudos and sending continued love and expansion to you!

Mel 🙏💞🦋

]]> By: Molly https://blog.melanietoniaevans.com/the-deadly-dance-of-the-narcissist-and-co-dependent/#comment-1270289 Fri, 17 Jun 2022 14:41:35 +0000 https://blog.melanietoniaevans.com/?p=11459#comment-1270289 I love how these articles are so pertinent and so accurate. Melanie, I can tell you have worked with several people who have lived the experience. I went over 4 days without doing a healing and I could def tell the difference. I went back to the little girl hurt mode where I was desperately trying to defend myself to the narcissist. Of course the narc never really listens anyways.
One of my narcs was an ex boss. She put me on a pedestal so long as I listened to her theories and reasons of why people behaved how they did. The moment I disagreed with her, she lost her narcissistic supply and she started treating me horribly. I thought that was the end of it. Ok, she doesn’t like me, time to move on. But no, you are so right, a narcissist needs us empaths to survive.
Since I would no longer give her admiration. She has switched over to obtaining her narcissistic supply through demeaning and harassing me. (all in the guise of how she wants to help). She still gets her hit of narcissistic supply every time I am bothered by her antics.
The only thing that has helped is doing the healings. Yes she still hurls insults by proxy, thru other people at me. But so long as I am doing the healings, none of her insults hit hard and most don’t hit at all. She still tries to exploit me and smears me. But her attempts seem more and more desperate to me. More and more exaggerated in order to illicit a response. I like how your article addresses when the nasty narcissist leaves the codependent high and dry. I would also like to point out that not all co-dependents get left, sometimes the co-dependent leaves the narc.
In that situation, in which the narc still sees you as her supply and is somehow able to forge contracts etc to get access to you. The only thing I have found that works is the healings. Healing up my wounds. That is where I am right now, Healings are awesome and amazing!! Love them. Narc is still attacking externally but slowly is appearing as less of a threat. I will love the day that I post on here, my wounds are all healed up and I AM SECURE BABY!!! cuz that day will come
Speaking of which, I need to do a healing now… as it has been awhile…..
much love to you all and take care

]]> By: Kathleen https://blog.melanietoniaevans.com/the-deadly-dance-of-the-narcissist-and-co-dependent/#comment-1270275 Thu, 16 Jun 2022 14:49:59 +0000 https://blog.melanietoniaevans.com/?p=11459#comment-1270275 I believe my experience with the narcissist woke me up and once I got out and saw the game and healed from the hirt- it had knocked me out of my codependence! Because I saw what a fraud this person was in reality and then I looked around and realized they’re everywhere in many varying degrees but I knew myself to be genuine and true. So really I had no business feeling I needed someone else to complete me.

Now I’m happiest I’ve ever been in my life. Truly content yet excited for the future. Enjoying myself and not chasing or waiting for anyone to “complete me” In fact I still feel maybe I am not really ready to have somebody special in my life.
I have not run across anyone I have any interest in and I’m not going to be chasing so?? I’m just letting it play out as it will and that’s fine-
It took me 55 years to get to this point I envy those who maybe got there earlier. But I can’t believe how happy I am -to my core, So it was worth the wait and everything healing that Melanie focuses on – is the right path

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