did you get a reply to this? rarer things to shift

EGO EXTR resistant —

thanks

Hi Patti,

that is a great question and one that will benefit many people in the community.

Okay the number one goal is to NOT indulge the ego and the peptide addiction by going into the obsessing (analysis) over ‘what hurts’…If you do that is just going to make healing and transformation much tougher in the future.

That is like picking a scab over and over and trying to get a wound to heal….

The instant gratification of our ego has NO upside!

So you do need to find a way to manage the pain until you can get to the shift / release of it….

Affirmations spoken over and over again can help – they distract your ego and help you hold your own space. The great thing about our mind is that it can only think one thought at any one time.

Something like ‘Patti you are doing a great job – I love you’ said over and over will stop your brain circuits firing and wiring into more victimsation – and start breaking off the cycle of peptide addiction to pain.

Ultimately the more and more you clear the pain out of your body in healing sessions the less and less pain there will be to ‘come up and hit you’…and the cleaner and clearer everything will soon become…

That is IF you are very dedicated to clearing the pain.

I hope this helps.

Mel xo

I am thoroughly enjoying your articles having just discovered them 2 weeks ago. I finally split up from my narc husband 15 months ago after 17 years of marriage. I am surrounded by wonderful people- my sons, family friends and neighbours who are all strongly connected to me. I truly believe that all will be well soon. It is hard for me to do no contact although I have detached but because of our 2 sons my husband sees me briefly every fortnight. He cannot bear to look me in the eye and he knows that I am strong. My concern is about the kind of role model my narc is for my sons- that is the main reason I left instead of just immediately leaving for me! What finally pushed me to detachment was his complete lack of care for me when my mum was dying with cancer. It was truly a dereliction of duty. I only heard about NPD a year ago. What a light bulb moment. Since our house has been sold I now have had to issue papers from my lawyer- up until now I was deeply concerned about his mental health and suicide and I didn’t want to push him over the edge. Since moving out last summer he has now lost his job as MD of a large company and has been out of work for 6 months- I feel that a punitive stage is on the way but can handle it because we are nearer resolution and I will soon be free. I am Catholic and I feel a lot of your writing about looking within is really describing a relationship with God and your inner soul. It is a beautiful and divine piece of writing.

I would finally like to add that after 3 years of a long distance courtship our relationship changed almost immediately after marriage. The emotional neglect was gradual and my lowering of expectations too. I spotted signs but I feel that my faith in human nature and desire to help heal him ( my ego!) sustained me in the marriage. I also had 2 sons and relationship only became steadily worse after they were born. I had strong belief in making a family dynamic work. He was so bereft of love and I was so blessed with love that I felt sorry for him too. I want to find out more about your program. I am already seeing a wonderful kiniesiologist and have chats with my priest as I prepare to have my marriage annulled.

Love and prayers to all. You are a beacon of hope.

Hi Katherine,

you are very welcome.

Yes you are describing your ego going into revenge and payback mode – and you are right that is your ego and not the real True Self you – hence why it feels sooo awful, disconnected and emptied out.

That is so true that the ‘reasons’ you are acting out this stuff is because of the childhood wounds – your therapist has hit the nail on the head…now what is necessary is to go to these wounds and address them directly…

The wounds of childhood, and the wounds of what has played out in relationships and significantly this latest one…

Yes NARP is the answer to address and heal those core wounds.

I know it is a very painful place that you are in – but it is ALL happening for a very powerful reason which is your evolution back to your Soul and True Self beauty and joy – where all of life and real love awaits you.

You are not meant to become a narcissist – it is NOT your Soul Truth.

Mel xo

Hi NMSD,

That is it – totally!

Absolutely otherwise the purpose of the trigger is missed!!

YAY! You’ve got it 🙂

Mel xo