Osho was a narcissist. Watch Wild Wild Country and if you have any idea of the traits of narcissism, you will see them in him, especially when Sheela escapes him.

These narcs seem to consume life even when your divorced

Hi Zac, I am answering this now as I have been working on healing. I have been a member of the community for a while now, 2 years in fact and have learn’t a lot from the ‘biggest narc experience’ that has changed my life. (I have also discovered my past pain started from the age of 2, having a narc father and continued throughout my mums life and mine).

In regards to whether my friends are narcs or have traits, well I have to say, they have the typical male Aussie traits of ‘ego’ and they don’t seem to think it is necessarily bad to ‘bait’ someone or to have a ‘harmless joke’ to make themselves look good (or look like men in charge). To be honest I don’t feel it is right to be baited or to be ‘jokingly criticised’ for point scoring and ego boosts, so they can feel ‘manly’.

No, I have never had an apology, not…’I am sorry, I should not speak to you like that’…only I get instead…’I am only joking or teasing’…as they don’t see that it is wrong. Nothing I say will make any difference, as they believe they are just being men. Their egos are huge and there is not one person I know, who doesn’t live in ego most of the time. It seems to be the human way, (as Mel puts it ‘human doings’).
I have noticed and feel I am starting to vibrate at a different level to a lot of people I know and I am finding that I am just not interested in communicating or being friends with people who live with a false self, so am seeing them less and less now. Egotistical men and women are difficult to be around, as everything seems to be a competition. I feel no need to compete anymore, (being something I am not, so they will like me), now I have found and am finding more of my true self. It is really off putting to be around the ‘ego energy’ plus unhealthy.

I hope you Zac and everyone who has found Mels website is finding the way toward more light, truth and peace. I know I have and I have more to find, more life to live and a new me is emerging. New me, new friends, new experiences, truth and harmony and connectedness to life that is not an illusion. If feels great! Love Jac xx

I married in 2008. My wife has an pre-marriage affair which I did not know during my marriage. In 2008 she informed that she had an affair. I told her, I have no problem if she is committed to me from the date of our marriage. But she remain in touch with her from the beginning, which I know only in last part of 2012. I know she is narsissist from her various types of behaviour. after doing so much nasty thing in this civilized world, earlier I could not understand why she still want to live with me, even if she does not love me, and she also donot think my feelings towards her is love not earlier also not now. She only think she truly loved that 3rd person and he also loved her truly.

But now I understand the main cause of this problem is her narcissist mindset of her. By which she always thinks her thinking of love or anything is the correct view. Even if I pleaded many time to her to amicably be part ways. but she applies tricks n hooks as I truly connected with her for 5years and till now succeeded to spoil my life. Sometime I think by leaving her I will justice to my personality and my self. but due to her hook sometimes I am thinking I will be alone and miserable, so till date I am still waiting to see the change in her heart, which somehow I know I will never see. I am helpless. But by your site I understand many facts about narcissist personality which is very helpful.

Thank u

Hey Laura

its a tuff road, but one so worthy. stay on your chosen track and know we are here travelling through this journey with you. stay safe too. this story of my life continues to unfold and thank fully Mel has a gift of pure understanding and compassion. while some of us move on and through the pain and away from the critical bonds that those silly pep tides keep us so desperately seeking another hit of abuse… Mel keeps the light pouring in.

Have you been able to add more to your list?

endurance and love to you x

Dear anon,

I checked back to see if anyone found my list useful and I found your post. I am having a hard/scared day as I told my narc on Sunday it was over. I’ve been reading my list every morning when I come to work. Thank you so much for your loving words. I need them today.

And I will move as soon as I can!!!

Dear NMSD,

I completely agree with you regarding the ego deaths (dark night of the soul). Only the ones who have allowed it and gone through it know the complete and utter despair that can go on and on for hours, days, weeks and even months (some saints had it for years even). For some, the transformation will happen once and for all (Eckhart Tolle is perfect example), while in other cases it will take several or many encounters. As fear of complete surrender (fear of unknown) is always there, overcoming the fear is the main task and if that does not happen 100%, ego will return again, claiming its kingdom. This is why you feel that you are in the process that will never end, your inner intelligence (or perhaps sabotaging ego) is taking piece by piece, scrutinizing and transforming (avoiding the true transformation). However, the head-on encounter must happen once, enabling you to surrender, and this is when transformation will be lasting, given you commit to inner work and finding the even lighter shades of light.

While going through dark night of the soul, no philosophy, teaching, technique or thought can alleviate the pain and suffering. You feel unspeakable vicious powers running unleashed and fear is reaching culmination. Everything you have learned, found out, experienced is insignificant. Solitude is all-encompassing. No prayers, no mantras, no meditation…Only surrender will do…This is where I am at and I sense the certainty that I am not alone. May the whole universe assist all of us to go through this darkness into the light! Universe is already doing its part by sending people as Melanie to hold the torch along the road…

Blessings and light to all!

Just read your post and thought I’d respond from the point of view of an Early Childhood Specialist. I teach young children to the age of 8 and fortunately for a lot of young children, they are receiving a good, solid developmental foundation in many early childhood environments. Unfortunately, although they receive this care, at the end of the day, these kids either go back to a daycare centre or back into dysfunctional homes. Many children do not receive a lot of input at home and this shows in their level of skills achievement in Kindergarten and into more formal schooling once they reach Year One. Many children’s inner selves are not allowed to flourish so negative feelings are not allowed to be expressed and worked with so that the children can process them, feel ok about themselves and find appropriate ways to become empowered and deal effectively with life situations. A lot of this is due to teachers’ inability to deal with emotions or lack of skill level to work with children’s feeling selves. Schools that have chaplains do have an advantage because the kids in these schools have the opportunity to share what is happening for them and to heal some feelings. What is even more scary is that a lot of kids do not have a lot of emotional resilience, and they suffer from anxiety at such early ages because of the focus on testing such as NAPLAN. Many parents confuse their situations with their children and see them as extensions of themselves and out of a misguided sense of caring for their children, overcompensate. This is destructive to the children. Sadly, the people who run the school system, have lost the plot and have made the curriculum more academic even for very young children. Principals have taken over the early childhood environments in their schools and insist that many changes that look good but are really destructive to young children, are implemented. Play has been sabotaged so we are now looking at an up and coming generation of children who are focussed on the ‘outer’ with little time to dream and simply enjoy being little children. I teach these children and have been able to run a play-based programme and keep it going. This is probably because all the other early childhood teachers in our school hold philosophies that support play and we are able to achieve the academic requirements as well. Sadly, the demands of the new Australian Curriculum are very challenging for young children and we do not have any choice other than to meet its demands. The other major and destructive change is that now specialist teachers take the children for several classes each week, either inside or outside the class. The children do not cope well with so many adults teaching them and their behaviour has degenerated this year and it is very noticeable. Some schools are even implementing a seamless programme whereby daycare centres are being set up within the school environment so that parents can leave their children from babyhood through the school years whilst they work.At least, reassuringly, there are still many, many committed teachers working with young children who give the children in their care, a very positive start. Overall though, I do not like the direction in which education and childrearing is heading.