Comments on: The Key To Manifesting – Connecting To The Now https://blog.melanietoniaevans.com/the-key-to-manifesting-connecting-to-the-now/ Devastated by a narcissist? Melanie's Narcissism blog offers support & empowering tools to heal & thrive after narcissistic abuse, gain a new life & fulfilling relationships. Mon, 19 Sep 2016 11:21:32 +0000 hourly 1 By: frances https://blog.melanietoniaevans.com/the-key-to-manifesting-connecting-to-the-now/#comment-547880 Thu, 14 Aug 2014 21:43:57 +0000 https://blog.melanietoniaevans.com/?p=1684#comment-547880 Hi Mel
I was interested to know whether it is possible that a change in the behavior of a narcissist may be manifested. In trying to detach from my husband of 35 years I sometimes have visions of him being able to deal with and let go of his abusive childhood. Interestingly he sometimes makes statements which have been similar to what I have hoped he might react to change his outlook on life and his unpredictable impulsive behavior. I would appreciate your thoughts on this.

Regards

]]> By: Melanie Tonia Evans https://blog.melanietoniaevans.com/the-key-to-manifesting-connecting-to-the-now/#comment-56418 Mon, 24 Jun 2013 03:38:42 +0000 https://blog.melanietoniaevans.com/?p=1684#comment-56418 In reply to Jan.

Hi Jan,

I will be adressing quite a bit of Family Of Origin narc abuse soon!

You can watch our for it.

Mel xo

]]> By: Jan https://blog.melanietoniaevans.com/the-key-to-manifesting-connecting-to-the-now/#comment-54362 Thu, 13 Jun 2013 06:26:23 +0000 https://blog.melanietoniaevans.com/?p=1684#comment-54362 Hi Mel, Just a quick question as l have children involved, do Narc mums love their children or are they just another way to get validation. Your articles seem to come at the best times and I’m growing a daily. I don’t think l have read anything from you on relationships Narc have with their children.
Cheers Jan

]]> By: Karen https://blog.melanietoniaevans.com/the-key-to-manifesting-connecting-to-the-now/#comment-53232 Thu, 06 Jun 2013 15:52:38 +0000 https://blog.melanietoniaevans.com/?p=1684#comment-53232 Mel – Great article and very grateful to you for the posting. I can actually remember doing this work as a child (10 yrs) when I was forced to spend time alone in my room as my father would punish me often. I came to develop a personal ‘relationship’ with God (my preference). Through hours of ‘praying/meditating’ I would feel my feelings, cry, tell God and then would feel totally free and a sense of ‘lightness’. I then would ask God for what would make me happy, actually feeling and visualizing how I would feel when I received the answer to my secret longings. The truth is that everything I asked for or visulaized during those times manifested in my life. I often think, if I only had that kind of faith again…but I realize I need the time alone to get to that place. Everything you wrote resonated with me, I know it is truth. Thank you.
Karen

]]> By: Melanie Tonia Evans https://blog.melanietoniaevans.com/the-key-to-manifesting-connecting-to-the-now/#comment-52933 Wed, 05 Jun 2013 01:49:00 +0000 https://blog.melanietoniaevans.com/?p=1684#comment-52933 In reply to Kay.

Hi Kay,

The thing about narcs is the game and the addiction is always narcissitic supply – PERIOD!

So yes all of this is possible….she is simply a narc who has found a way to achieve what she thinks is ‘attention’ and ‘significance’.

Now I am going to be very straight with YOU… Why do you think someone else’s behaviour needs to define your life, emotions or choices in life?

What is it Kay about HER that is keeping you separated from (being used an excuse) to not connect with, be and live your true authentic and positive life?

Those are the REAL questions here…

Additionally…

1) You have no ability to SHUT DOWN or make any narc accountable whilst focusing on them and not empowering yourself – good luck with that…

2) Giving them energy only feeds them and keeps you further disconnected from yourself

3) My work is about focusing on healing and evolving yourself to live narc free, and in an empowered way – it is not about self-avoiding yourself and focusing on narcs..

and 4) Why on earth wouldn’t you block this woman – only accept people you know are authentic on facebook and GET ON with your great life – and leave narcs and people like that to their own games – ONLY affecting other people who want to hand over their own energy to them?

Mel xo

]]> By: Kay https://blog.melanietoniaevans.com/the-key-to-manifesting-connecting-to-the-now/#comment-52929 Wed, 05 Jun 2013 01:39:36 +0000 https://blog.melanietoniaevans.com/?p=1684#comment-52929 Hi Melanie,

I had some questions regarding narcissists and their ability to create make believe friends.. I know a woman personally who is undoubtedly a narcissist, she has been terrorizing me and several of my friends for over 2 years now, and as of the last year we’ve discovered she has made close to 40 fake Facebook accounts that she uses to pose as her best friends, and logs in throughout the day to interact with them, and praise herself, etc. She even uses them as an extension of herself to talk badly about me and others. I know of a few people she’s stolen pictures from to pose as these “friends”, because she leaves a paper trail..!

Anyway, I’ve been combing the Internet for about a year now trying to find out if this is common narcissistic behavior or if there’s something else going on. I have found nothing to help! This is very discouraging. I’ve read several of your blogs and found them incredibly helpful, and I would like to use the evidence I have against her to shut her down the next time I will be forced to interact with her. I am extremely desperate and hope you can help me..if you can give me a lead or links in the right direction, I would be so grateful! Thank you.

]]> By: Melanie Tonia Evans https://blog.melanietoniaevans.com/the-key-to-manifesting-connecting-to-the-now/#comment-52927 Wed, 05 Jun 2013 01:37:59 +0000 https://blog.melanietoniaevans.com/?p=1684#comment-52927 In reply to Suzanne.

Hi Suzanne,

my apologies sooo sorry 🙂 – yes Sally was re post above….

This is fabbo Suzanne that you are being upfront and true to yourself.

It is lovely that you have been able to shift through so powerfully…and that is so true it is about embracing all of ourself – especially the negative emotions – so that we can evolve…

Great job 🙂

Mel xo

]]> By: Suzanne https://blog.melanietoniaevans.com/the-key-to-manifesting-connecting-to-the-now/#comment-52819 Tue, 04 Jun 2013 10:30:54 +0000 https://blog.melanietoniaevans.com/?p=1684#comment-52819 In reply to Melanie Tonia Evans.

Hi Mel. It’s Suzanne actually, not Sally. I have affirmed to myself that I am being emotionally authentic and so far,with this man, I have been able to share all my negative and positive feelings and thoughts and they have been received without defensiveness and attack which is a very nice change I can assure you. It is so refreshing to be able to share so much of myself and it has not been a physical relationship either; we have just been communicating verbally at a deep and authentic level; he shares himself too. I have told him that I have made the decision to be completely up-front and am willing to share even difficult feelings for the sake of authenticity and the growth of intimacy. I think it is incredibly important to take things very slowly so that I have time to process each conversation and am taking time to stay with myself and do all the things that are important to me such as maintaining my social and recreational life, which I have always done, even in the relationship with my ex-boyfriend.I think that if a relationship is of value and the man with whom I am communicating truly values me, then me taking my time just affirms my value to myself and also lets me know that he respects me. There is nothing to lose by being truthful and myself. If he was to get upset, then it is his reaction inside him and not my problem. It also keeps me safe. I am very wary and also realize that each relationship brings me closer to my ideal one, if this one does not eventuate. It is critical that this relationship is as much about my needs as his and that my authentic self is allowed to be fully present. So far, he has been very affirming and warm and I have seen no red flags. He says that he wants to know all about me and wants to know all of me; my essence; not just the nice and good bits. It feels a bit scary to be relating to someone who actually is saying that he wants to get to know me that intimately. His goals in life are similar to mine and he is a very open individual. It is my first experience ever with a man where I have felt so accepted and cared for. A long time ago, I was extremely fortunate with my doctor and the psych. hospital.I think that is why I have been able to move on and work through the issues with my ex-boyfriend so fast; because of skills I learned back then, as well as having access to QFH and kinesiology which was not available back then. That narcissistic relationship with my father’s daughter was much worse than this one and it took several years to get free. This time, with my ex-boyfriend, the whole relationship was finished in a year and a half and I have been able to heal and move on in 2 months; a huge improvement I think. I feel so excited to realize that I have power to create the relationships and life that I want as long as I continue to heal and deal with every negative feeling and issue and as long as I stay in my integrity.

]]> By: Melanie Tonia Evans https://blog.melanietoniaevans.com/the-key-to-manifesting-connecting-to-the-now/#comment-52783 Tue, 04 Jun 2013 02:29:18 +0000 https://blog.melanietoniaevans.com/?p=1684#comment-52783 In reply to melody.

Hi Melody,

I am so glad you are enjoying the articles.

Yes you are still in the pain – and that is perfectly understandable. Those are the energised survival programs and the peptide addiction that is so common with narcissistic abuse..

And it is VERY hard to release all of that brain and chemical circuitry with the logical mind – in fact simply analysing causes the circuitry and pain to just get more and more ingrained…

Then the only way out of deep depression becomes self-avoidance (addictions) or medication.

Once you start releasing the pain out of your body with the deeper processes you will start accessing ‘space’, relief and self-transformation.

It is YOUR time to heal! 🙂

Which absolutely means NOT listening to the voice of your ego which is giving you ever reason NOT to.

Mel xo

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