Melanie Tonia Evans

The Soul Contract With A Narcissist

Written by   Melanie Tonia Evans Permalink 16
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Written By   Melanie Tonia Evans

Most people don’t come out of narcissistic relationships unscathed …

In fact these relationship are far from insignificant, they have a profound impact and they create huge life choices.

I have decided to write this article because I feel the timing is right. Many of you have asked me to write about soul contacts with narcissists, and I have held off until now.

Also, I felt that it is a fitting tribute to the recently departed Wayne Dyer, in accordance with my favourite quote of his of all time.

This one …

“With everything that has happened to you

you can either feel sorry for yourself,

or treat what has happened as a gift.

Everything is either an opportunity to grow,

or an obstacle to keep you from growing.

You get to choose.”

I believe this quote from Wayne Dyer is the absolute truth of the journey of narcissistic abuse; this significant and profound make or break experience – where we either evolve or dissolve.

I posted this on my Facebook Page, and many of the Thrivers responded affirmatively, and also one lady stated honestly that until accessing my teachings she had struggled with this concept.

This article today is a deep dive into what I believe is the absolute truth of the reason a narcissist came into our life – namely the very nature of the Soul Contracts we can have with these people.

 

The Shattering of the Dream

I believe narcissist relationships, due to their high level of impact, are ones that are big Soul Contracts.

Relationships like this mean: “This happened for a reason”, because they are way too “meaningful” for that not to be the case.

If we were born into a narcissistic family of origin, that is all we knew right from the get-go in this lifetime. If we procured a relationship that was not our family or origin, usually the narcissist represented some form of “dream” that we would have as a result of being connected to this person.

Either way the “dream” that we thought our life should be (such as I should have had a loving mother / father / sibling), or could be (such as this love partner is my true soul mate who I have waited for my entire life) is smashed to pieces.

And the irony is, it is through the smashing of the dream that we awaken from the dream – the notions and illusions of “separation”, “judgement”, “demonization of ourselves and others”, and the beliefs that peace, wholeness, worth, love and happiness are obtainable from outside of ourselves.

As children we did not have the ability to be a generative force of an “awakened self”, but as an adult we do.

It is when the dream that we thought we were living becomes a literal nightmare that we start to orientate towards another dream – a dream that is a sustainable reality; a dream that will work.

I have met many people whose lives are now so much more loving, fulfilling and wondrous than they ever possibly could have been before a narcissist was in their experience. These people are amongst so many individuals in this Community who took on a Thriver Orientation, because they came firmly to the conclusion, via a narcissist, that life could no longer go on the way it had been playing out.

I also know the reasons why these people were able to transcend above the most horrendous aspects of abuse, were because they opened up to Higher Realities – the understandings of a bigger picture and the acceptance that there was a reason for what happened to them.

Not a damning, blaming reason … rather an evolutionary, liberating reason. A reason that would finally set them free … and when they looked back on their former life (regardless of containing a narcissist or not) they knew how wondrous a gift the journey of abuse was.

The gift being so much more than breaking free from a narcissist, and the total understanding that the gift always was about surviving and then evolving ourselves and the previous life trajectory we were unconsciously on.

In this article, I am going to share the exact information I discovered about narcissistic Soul Contracts that I received from the horse’s mouth – directly from my Soul – as to why I experienced not one but two narcissists.

 

Introducing “Life Between Lives”

Some of you may be aware of Doctor Michael Newton’s work – life between lives – which he wrote about in his bestselling books Journey of Souls and Destiny of Souls.

I have recommended these books to the Community before.

In essence his work is about regressing people into a Past Life and then taking them to the experience of being a Soul in the spirit world “back home” before they incarnate again. This process was something that he originally stumbled upon by accident within his clinical hypnotherapy practice.

In his work that was documented over decades, (as well as scientifically monitored and recorded) he found that people in this state of regression reported astoundingly similar details about what it was like as a Soul experiencing the Soul’s existence on the spiritual plane before re-incarnating.

As a former Past Life Regressionist I was fascinated with his books and work. Because I had previously performed dozens of regressions myself over a period of two decades, and found incredible truths reported from people that checked out completely with history (names, places, dates and events) that they had no conscious knowledge of – as well as experiencing this countless times myself within my own regression sessions – I had no doubt that Life Between Life Regression was real and possible.

And as I read the information in his books something stirred deeply within me. I already knew that my Life had a Soul Purpose (which I am living), yet I felt drawn to really understanding my Soul’s journey from the absolute soul perspective.

The truth is this: I’m inquisitive … I’m a seeker … I want to know. I want to expand and develop. I will never just stay with “what I know now.”

In fact each month, I look back at who I was the month before and I barely recognise that person – such is my quest to eternally grow and develop my consciousness.

That is Quantum Law –  limitless growth and being … plus it is SO much fun!

And when we are prepared to grow, we are prepared to say “I don’t know.” This is one of the most powerful orientations we can have in order to grow and evolve. And this means literally waking up out of old conclusions and beliefs that we thought were previously “it” – if we want to grow.

Quantum Science and epigenetics now reveals that the far greater part of our life is going on multi-dimensionally beyond our level of conscious five sensory understanding. The old paradigms regarding our understanding of ourselves and Life are now becoming obsolete.

We may argue, “Do we need to know more?” or “Why open up a tin of worms?” My belief is, if your Life is not working, and you are not finding answers, then you may wish to consider expanding your consciousness beyond where it previously was.

Let’s face it, at one point our world pushed the belief the world is flat! Some people who opposed that belief were put to death and labelled heretics! In the evolution of humanity, that wasn’t so long ago!

My orientation to life goes even further than this. My belief is the entire reason for our existence is to expand our consciousness more and more toward the Infinite Consciousness of Who We Really Are.

Quantum Physics now purports that we are all a personal macro cosmos – that we all have The Universe literally inside us. I believe this – totally.

Incidentally, expanding my consciousness was the only way out of victimhood that I have ever experienced. The old paradigms certainly did not grant me relief or answers, and they certainly did not provide my healing.

 

Different Beliefs – Separation and Unity, Judgement and Love

I totally understand that Past Lives, let alone “life between lives” work, may fall totally outside your belief system. That is fine because I have no need to change your mind or convince you about anything new.

I am only presenting information about my journey and sharing truthfully from my heart. Additionally, my Inner Identity unconditionally allows anyone to have their own beliefs – because my Identity is not dependent on whether or not anyone agrees with my life view.

I will say this though … you may wish to consider, before you judge or demonise someone else’s beliefs, doing your research. Look into it … and if you are not prepared to do that, please then live and let live.

From a Higher Perspective let go and let God. And know, that if a person is working against Divine Law, then Life / God will deal with it. It is not your job, or your right to persecute. The ultimate lesson I believe for the human race is our evolution towards Love … meaning waking up and realising that whenever we judge anyone (including ourselves) we are withholding love from ourselves and others – and in effect the entire Field of Life gets polluted as a result.

How can we be “loving” when we blame and demonise … the truth is we can’t.

Additionally, it is a ridiculous notion to think we will all agree, or even should agree. It is also an insane notion to believe that our way is the only way, and if people do not take on our way then we need to ostracise, ridicule, demonise, punish them or try to force them to do it our way.

Or heaven forbid kill them!

I had a woman on my Facebook Page recently completely spew at me that I was demonic and narcissistic because I suggested “self-love”. Thank goodness this is not the 1600’s because I am sure she would have put me into authorities and had me put to death!

Such is the insanity of people when they believe they are ordained by a Higher Power to “judge” and “condemn”.

Look at the state of the world and we can see the mess that has landed our entire planet into. We were taught about a wrathful, demanding deity as our Higher Power. My views (that you may or may not agree with) are this: How on earth could a Higher Power have any need or requirement when it already is All That Is?

From the scientific Quantum standpoint, consciousness exists everywhere and is all things, all states, all energies and all statements of energy – good, bad or indifferent in multiple realities in multiple dimensions, in all time simultaneously. Therefore any requirement or lack of anything is literally impossible.

Thus, I believe, if we put judgement, division and separation in front of love and unity, this is not where we need to be heading.

So … where this is all leading to, is my appeal regarding the information I am about to share with you … that if you don’t agree, and it is too much for you, then by all means tune out and pursue information that is aligned with you.

I am asking no more than I expect from myself. When I read information I don’t agree with, I allow it to be. I don’t attack, shame or judge. I simply move my focus to what resonates with me and leave alone what doesn’t.

That’s the Thriver Model of unconditional love, “I have no need for you to be a certain way in order for MY life to be whole, healthy and happy.”

It’s a model of: If I don’t agree, I don’t need to change you … but I can still love and allow anyone to live out their life journey directly with the effects of Life / God anyway they choose to.

Not being aligned with this model, and being stuck in judgment was one of the most horrendous hooks of narcissistic abuse, which as Thrivers we learnt to evolve beyond.

Naturally … of course … you will make you own choices and decisions.

Now on to it …

 

My Life Between Lives Session

My Life between Lives regression was with the LBL’s President Peter Smith in Melbourne.

Ever since reading the books Destiny of Souls and Journey of Souls I had a strong urge to book a session. Then coincidentally (not!) one of my wonderful clients from New Zealand told me that she was a professional LBL therapist. She put me onto Peter.

I rang up and enquired in June 2014, but I didn’t book the session. I was too busy with commitments at the times. I then forgot all about it.

Then in June 2015, I had a strong urge one day out of nowhere to book a session. The same day, out of the blue, my client from New Zealand emailed me (the first time in months) asking if I had had my session and how did it go. I knew this was a total message not to be ignored. I rang up, spoke to Peter who informed me he had a cancellation, which meant I could get in soon, and it just happened to fall on a rare day when I had the space (allow 4-5 hours).

As I drove to Peter’s therapy room, I was excited. I had no idea what I was going to experience. I had my list with me of the pertinent questions I wanted to find out about whilst in a hypnotised state experiencing the truth through my super-conscious.  I was eagerly anticipating the experience; I knew it would be easy for me to get there, because I had already been so attuned to regression and theta brainwave states for years.

After discussing my list and Peter taking notes, we got down to it. After a brief hypnosis deepening process, Peter took me into a Past Life regression.

I loved this, because it was not a Lifetime that I had ever been regressed to before.

It was a Roman life. I was in a colosseum, perhaps “the colosseum”, as a young girl, feeling appalled about the brutality, cruelty and ugliness of “sport” that my family, and significantly that my father was supporting.

Time progressed forward. I was made to marry a man identical in cruelty to my Father. After years of abuse I took my own life – I did this by taking a poisonous snake out of a basket and letting it bite me.

Then came the awesome part …

I became aware of myself floating upwards towards a light, I was in a tunnel. Peter was talking to me asking me questions, and I was answering. I told him about the indigo coloured lights coming to meet me.

I knew these were members of my Soul Group, and that these Souls were deeply familiar. They were here to escort me back home. Peter asked me how I was feeling about all this … and I said “All good, I’m still carrying the abuse consciousness, and the effects of the venom, but I know where I am going, I’ve done this so many times before. All I have to do is relax and enjoy the trip.”

And I did, with the indigo lights glowing ahead of me leading the way.

I then arrived to a capsule where a Healer Soul put me in and shut the lid. In here I was being detoxed from the abuse consciousness and the effects of the venom, leaving behind the last human remnants of that lifetime.

This did not take a “specific” amount of time … because on this dimension there is no “time” and in this state of superconscious you just know that.

I was then taken to the “meeting room”, and again I had such a strong sense of familiarity – I had already been there so many times before. I knew the room and the entire drill. There I met with my soul advisors, and significantly my High Mentor “Xui”, who I recognised as my main guide in this lifetime.

From him I felt so much love, joy and connection. I knew Xui, because I have met him in my dreams, meditations and life events (in times of need) in this lifetime ever since a small child. I had the absolute knowing in this LBL that Xui and I have been advisors for each other, swapping roles, in many lifetimes.

“Hello Little One” he said with such love (the exact words I have heard in my head so many times in this life), except the communication was totally telepathic here, that’s how all Souls communicate.

My Soul name is Alena, and I felt profound love, and such acceptance here in this meeting room. There was no judgement, only love and absolute transparency. No avoidance, hiding or delusions, only pure honesty. I also became very aware that as a Soul Energy we chose certain “humans” to merge our consciousness with in particular lifetimes specifically for the purpose of our soul evolution.

I had merged with a lady with victim consciousness in the life in Rome. I had chosen her for my evolution purposefully. Part of that reason was because I was still living out the resolution of having spent lives as an abuser myself (this was no surprise … I had already found that truth in my subconscious and released it with Quanta Freedom Healing prior to this LBL), and this was necessary as a part of the evolution of abuse / abused, and transcending abuse for the collective – experiencing it and transcending it.

Meaning – releasing our judgments of ourselves and others and waking up out of unconsciousness, and releasing and resolving the inner wounding that either creates us as perpetrators or as victims.

However, in the Rome lifetime, rather than overcome and transcend her victim consciousness, I had given up. I didn’t fight hard enough to overcome her depression and despair. She had had opportunities to raise consciousness and help people around her, but she had been so engrossed in her own misery that she decided to opt out – and I hadn’t guided her out of her misery.

Xui and I and the other advisers discussed this. I admitted to them that I was still punishing myself for the lifetimes where I had taken wrong turns, where I had sold out my mission because of my neediness to be with a man (co-dependency), and let myself as well as spiritual templates to evolve humanity, and others, all be destroyed as a result of my poor choices.

(I already knew about much of this from previous Quanta Freedom Healing sessions and Past Life Regressions … this just confirmed it.)

In this Roman Lifetime, I believed I deserved to pay, and I deserved to suffer, and then when I had had enough of that agony I decided to abort the entire mission.

There was no judgement at all from my advisors. No shaming, lecturing or telling off. Only discussions about where I was at as a Soul, what my next steps where and what that would be.

And I had the most incredible sense there was only Love here. The only judgment was what I held against myself – and it was pretty severe. In stark contrast Xui and my advisors offered only endless unconditional patience and encouragement.

And I understood perfectly that everything that I would undergo in the future was entirely my choice – I was never held to any requirement or condition. That’s how it rolls in this place … every Soul naturally makes evolutionary choices at the pace that they wish to evolve at.

Then I got to reconnect with my Soul Group. Here I met with other indigo coloured souls. Souls that were working, as I was, at their missions to help raise consciousness specifically on Earth.  Souls who had come from many parts of the physical Universe to converge together on this galactic mission of evolving this planet.

I understood simultaneously certain things (everything happens simultaneously here), and one was that my journey into the human being known as “Melanie” was a choice I had made. I could have had a break from difficult lives and gone back to a physical reality that was far more evolved and “relaxing” and “together” than Earth for a rest, but I knew Earth had an urgency, and was in a pivotal time of reaching critical mass before ascension. I wanted to do all that I could to help.

My consciousness, as part of this LBL session, was also taken into my mother’s womb. At a time when I was merging my consciousness with “Melanie”, and Peter asked me why I picked “Melanie” and how my integration with her was going.

The answer I gave him was, “Because she is strong and determined and damaged. She is the exact combination that I need to get this job done.”

Whilst I was in the womb merging consciousness with Melanie, Peter asked me what was going on, and I told him that my Mother was anxious, and I could feel her fear and pain, but I stated there was something much more disturbing going on … and this was that I was struggling. I wondered if I had made the right choice.

I was already feeling the dense heavy energy of Earth, the abuse to come and be reactivated in my Energy Field (which I had purposefully chosen to help ascend myself and others beyond abuse), and I was wondering if I had made the right decision, and if I would survive my choice this time.

I was terrified that I wasn’t up to the challenge.

As a side-note, interestingly my Mother’s pregnancy went past term with me. My Mother had said to me many times, “You didn’t want to come out!” And she was right, I didn’t! I was terrified about being on Earth again – I knew how hard my journeys here have been.

My parents also said that I cried uncontrollably for the first three years of my Life. I remember as a child looking around me and thinking, “Why am I here in this terrible place?” (Oh boy I know with all my heart how many of you fellow travellers here doing Angel’s work have also felt like this!)

So … back to the experiences in my LBL state “back home” … this part I think will really fascinate you!

 

The Deal With The Narcissists

Up to this point, there was really nothing that had surprised me. The feelings of love, expansion, and Oneness were beyond words that I could use to describe them … but there was no real new information, just lots of confirmation, and of course Universal Love.

I already knew that I was working through abuse / abused, and that I had experienced both sides of the fence … I had been an abuser, I had been abused … and my ultimate mission was raising consciousness on this planet.

I already knew through my own journey of expanding and up-levelling my consciousness, that like many of us at this time now on planet Earth, I am doing the work of helping the ascension of the planet.

I already knew that … and I know and hope that many of you recognise the same truth about your journey with narcissistic abuse too. I meet new “Angels” every day on this path in this Community, doing this self-evolution work.

This ascension work that we are doing is not just a personal mission, we are also helping raise the consciousness of everyone and everything we touch. And energetically we are affecting others that we have never physically been in contact with – we are doing this work for the collective.

So as I said … there were no surprises … just beautiful loving powerful confirmations that made this lifetime journey even MORE real and incredible for me.

Then, came the curve ball – something that I had never expected in my wildest dreams …

It was to do with my question “Where do the narcissists fit in?”

I wanted to see from the Soul perceptive. And truly I already knew they were Soul Contracts (the first one I totally believe was Twin Flame) and that both these men were in my experience for me to evolve and become the expanded being I am today. I already knew they were a total gift … but I wanted to know where they fitted into the picture. Were they a part of an ascended Soul Group just playing out the role of “abuser” to evolve others? Or was there some other twist to the truth?

Peter stated the intention to “find out” and experience the narcissistic truth. Immediately I saw them both in a “Larrikin” Soul Group. Like with all the Soul Groups (I had checked out different people in my life already) total transparency prevails.

Nothing can be hidden at all, and telepathically you know everything about the souls you are focusing on, and they you.

Now, before you get confused about, “How can they be in the spirit world if they are still alive now?” let me explain a Quantum Reality and how it works. An essence of their soul is always “back home”, the same applies for ourselves. We are all multi-dimensional and Omni-present. As an aspect of Divinity expressing itself – this is Who We Really Are in all space and time as multiple potential.

So, the narcissists were in this Larrikin Soul Group, and I had the absolute knowing that these Souls were polluted, meaning that they had been completely taken over and corrupted by personalities whilst in Earth incarnations. This meant the Souls were tormented to the point of being incapable of evolution and would have been sent back to Oneness for re-absorption and recycling (to be reproduced as a brand new Souls) except there was a purpose for why they weren’t yet.

Before I get to the purpose, let me tell you how these Souls would spend their “time”. They weren’t doing any higher study or learning (as other evolving Souls did), instead they would spend their time conjuring up egoic delusions constantly – such as: “I own the biggest casino”, or “I have the most lovers,” and “I have more money / power / notoriety than you.”

My Soul Group and other Soul Groups would watch them for amusement sometimes … as they conjured up one delusion after another and were constantly one-upping each other.

There is a sense of humour back home … truly. We found these poor delusional Souls thinking that their fantasies had “value”, and trying to outdo each other, quite frankly hilarious.

Now here was the deal, the narcissists were as happy as polluted Souls could be doing this stuff, but they were always keen to incarnate because if they came to Earth they could have stuff for real –they could physically get to experience it.

That excited their egos TOTALLY!

Now, here is the reason why these contaminated Souls weren’t sent back for recycling to become brand new Souls again … because we were enlisting them.

We would contract with them to match up with us in our lives and abuse us.

That is exactly what my Soul Group was doing.

The evolved beings purposefully choosing to raise consciousness on the planet required narcissistic abuse in order to do their jobs.

Because, it was only through being submerged into the absolute bowels of darkness that we could bring Divine Light to darkness and up-level it. Not just for ourselves, but for the entire consciousness of the planet.

This was a grand mission to help liberate the collective consciousness on Planet Earth from abuse, suffering and victimhood.

This is exactly what I did. I enlisted two narcissists to make sure I would go where I needed to go, and be forced to find out and heal what I needed to heal. Other people in my Soul Group had chosen the identical path of one or more narcissists.

Sometimes new contracts would be made, or were on standby if the previous contract had not procured the desired result – self-evolution.

Maybe this was / is your path and reason too, if this deeply resonates with you. Maybe narcissistic abuse for you was another reason … I can’t for sure say what that could be, because I am not doing your journey … but one thing I will say is this: If you were narcissistically abused, I believe you had a Soul Contract whatever the reason was / is.

And that Soul Contract will always be for the purpose of your Soul Evolution.

I also had the absolute knowing in my LBL that some souls who have taken on helping raise the consciousness of the planet fall. They may not make it in certain lifetimes. They can be taken over by the victim mentality of the human they merge with, and they may cling to and enmesh with a narcissist until they are destroyed. They may forget Who They Are.

They may not accept the cues, assistance and sign posts that their Soul and Soul Group back home is tirelessly delivering them to help them wake up. (Messages through intuition that we can only access if self-partnered.)

They may choose to stay a victim, remain unconscious and become polluted by their judgement, demonisations of themselves and others and the resulting withholding of love from themselves.

But even that is okay, just as it was for me in the Rome Lifetime and prior Earth Lifetimes – because we still get the chances … and quite literally we are indestructible. Even the polluted souls of narcissists (and toxically deranged victims), at some point will be reabsorbed, and will start over as a new fresh soul … on a new journey … if they become contaminated past the point of being able to continue evolution.

Because there is only Divinity expressing itself – for a Higher Purpose – as Divinity, no matter what that expression or form is.

This was one of the most incredible total knowings back home – there is no good or bad or right or wrong or even evil. There is only the path of Soul’s evolving back to the Oneness of Divinity from where they have all come.

 

In Conclusion

I am writing this article now, because the time has come for me to be totally exposed and authentic. A part of that was releasing Quanta Freedom Healing on YouTube last week.

And this is a “risk” from a practical standpoint, because my presence is mainstream. Narcissistic abuse is certainly not just an issue in spiritual, self-development communities. It happens everywhere across all races, creeds and religions.

Many of which find their way to my information.

However, what is true about my work is that it is NOT mainstream. My work is Quantum Level work – that works directly at reprogramming our subconscious wounds to a Higher Self state – it is Soul Work. And this is the only reason that this Community has the highest success rate of unprecedented Thriver narcissistic abuse recovery anywhere in the world.

So, really there is no point “hiding” what that is REALLY all about anymore!

I also know that this Community over the last few years has shifted light years in consciousness. As I have grown and evolved, many others have too … and what I find now is that people are capable of breakthroughs in timeframes that once upon a time – were not possible.

Many of these individuals were already “spiritual” before finding my work – but many also weren’t.

The reason I am fully exposing now, is because I believe all of us are in the dawning of “the age of authenticity” … meaning it’s time to Get Real … to move out from behind our defences and shine the truth of Who We Really Are.

Big things are happening on our planet, we are in times of incredible ascension and total necessity for transparency, love and healing. and it is my greatest wish that this article – for those of you who are attuned and open – will provide a deep resonation that will not only help set you free from the agony of narcissistic abuse, but can also awaken you to the true mission and purpose you have on Earth at this time.

I know many of you are already on to this …

Often people report that my articles come out in perfect timing for where they are at now, and are totally relevant given what is happening in their life.

I promise you, I know with all of my heart, for many of you this article is totally relevant and in perfect and Divine timing now.

In closing … something incredible happened the next day when I googled my Soul Name “Alena” …

It discovered it meant “light” …

Could that meaning have been any more perfect?

I cried with joy and gratitude and said to All That Is … “I accept this mission with all my heart ..”

I hope you can too …

I look forward to responding to your comments and questions.

Please find my next 3 Keys To Thriving After Narcissistic Abuse Webinar, where you can join with other dynamic and Divine souls on the path to transcending abuse for themselves AND the collective of our planet.

I’d love you to join us!

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Melanie Tonia Evans is an international narcissistic abuse recovery expert. She is an author, radio host, and founder of Quanta Freedom Healing and The Narcissistic Abuse Recovery Program. Melanie's healing and teaching methods have liberated thousands of people from the effects of narcissistic abuse world-wide.

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149 Thoughts on The Soul Contract With A Narcissist
  • kate@katestrong.com'
    Kate Strong
    September 4, 2015

    Yay for authenticity. You will help so many people by being authentic. The best sort of healing is soul healing. Maybe our minds have to understand the patterns, but the healing is at a Soul level. I believe that at a Soul level the narcs loved me so much so that I could grow as a Soul, by playing that part in my life. But, i cant go there directly and spiritually bypass the pain. Big difference in healing the Soul but avoiding the heart. xxx

    • Melanie Tonia Evans
      September 5, 2015

      Hi Kate,

      I absolutely agree that there is only Divinity expressing itself and there is only “Love” … therefore everything is an angel sent, no matter what it looks like.

      Even the polluted Souls at their essence still came from Source.

      It was always about Love.

      Mel xo

      • joemeays@myaccess.ca'
        Joecanada
        January 15, 2016

        Hi Melanie. This may seem strange but after years of living in complete denial I recognize now that I have been a perpetrator of narcissistic abuse. Until these last few months it felt like I was on autopilot so to speak and blinded to the damages I have caused both my ex wife and children. Tonight my ex wife sent me something about the harmful effects of pornography and I sobbed as in the last few weeks I have replayed my sins over and over in my head and for what feels like the first time I saw how I treated people as objects and used them to make myself feel better. My question to you is this. What now? Is there anything that I can do? I prayed tonight that if it be for the best that I should be taken from this earth as I truly do not want to harm my children anymore. My children deserve better. If I am still on this earth tomorrow I will take it as a sign that I can transcend this selfish and sick way of being and be a better father for my children. It seems the veil is being lifted and truth and the light are about to shine.

        • twoshea749@gmail.com'
          Jennifer
          February 14, 2016

          Hello my friend – I happen to know that your very awakening is proof that you were playing a role out of ultimate Love- what greater gift could you give your kids and the planet than to show that “evil” can be redeemed? The ultimate despair of “victims” that threatens their ability to heal – is the fear that those who have acted out narc abuse cannot be reached – that somehow source itself cannot bring light into apparent dark souls- you are proof that is not so – victims have likely been perpetrators in some reality – your awareness is proof that cycle can be broken now for individuals and the collective – your post was remarkable and amazing and I am so grateful to you brother – love to you

  • jacklarson9@gmail.com'
    Jack
    September 4, 2015

    I agree with this article. I have often observed synchronicities in conjunction with my meetings with narcissists. There’s nothing random about these encounters. There’s the psychological and emotional connections but there is also the soul-to-soul connection which raises the stakes. It makes it possible for them to hurt you more deeply.

    • Amanda8beechwood2008@yahoo.co.uk'
      Amanda
      September 4, 2015

      I completely agree with this

    • Melanie Tonia Evans
      September 5, 2015

      Hi Jack,

      it is so true.

      Our evolution wouldn’t be delivered this way, if these relationships were “light” or “flippant” … they needed to impact us to our core.

      That’s how our heart and beliefs gets broken open enough, that they get restructured in a completely different way.

      Mel xo

  • rati_nl@yahoo.com'
    Rati
    September 4, 2015

    Dear Melanie,
    Thank you for this groundbreaking article, which directs the readers and the practicioners of your Narcissistic Abuse Recovery Program full circle ‘back home’.
    It sounds like the culmination of your Work on Earth. I applaud you and your faith sharing so much of yourself with possibly ‘total strangers’. You give so much!!!
    Your soul name Alena sounds very similar to Melanie, somehow!

    • Melanie Tonia Evans
      September 5, 2015

      Hi Rati,

      thank you for your lovely comment and encouragement.

      A lovely dear friend on my Facebook Page pointed out that all the letters in the name “Elena” are in “Melanie”.

      That blew me away – I hadn’t realized it!

      You are so welcome dear Soul, and thank you Rati!

      Mel xo

  • Amanda8beechwood2008@yahoo.co.uk'
    Amanda
    September 4, 2015

    Wow this is absolutely amazing I too non stop cried as a baby and was born to a narcissistic father and have encountered several narcissists male and female in my 40 years especially male. I do believe this is a healing lifetime for me and this year with ur help and guidance Together with counselling and reiki I am awakening areas of my life I had blocked out blocked memories which were too painful to deal with I remember more each week and although only now am I realising and seeing my father is an N I am finally accepting of that and trying to finally understand and forgive myself and love myself much love Melanie the work u do is fantastic x

    • Melanie Tonia Evans
      September 5, 2015

      Hi Amanda,

      I knew there would be people who related to that part, and I am so glad it spoke to you.

      I am so pleased you are coming home to you, and the self-partnering and the healing, and taking on the evolving of yourself.

      It is the way forward.

      Wishing you big hugs and healing Amanda.

      Mel xo

      • kamots7la@hotmail.co.uk'
        L A
        September 5, 2015

        Melanie,

        I’m sorry but I had to ‘reply’ because I’m new to social media I haven’t figured out quite how to post!
        I have to respond to this.
        ALL DAY, from the moment I read the title of your email, I have behaved like a child at Christmas! I could not wait to read your ‘gift’ to us. I read bits stuck in traffic at 7am, more in my friend’s coffee shop, again I snuck some in at work, on a hill walking my dogs and finally with great anticipation and excitement I finally read the whole article lying in bed. Christmas has arrived, so to speak!!
        I have found this beyond words, emotional and profound. I have reawakened and come home to my Self through beginning this journey.
        But this article today – it is what I’ve been waiting for. For reasons I as yet just do not know but I’m touched to the point I could cry and wail. Burst even! I don’t know how else to describe it!
        I simply needed this. I’ve been asking and I have been heard.
        This I needed to read today. But I suspect on some level you already know that.

        Thank you, thank you, thank you! XXX

        Ps I apologise for the obscure writing everyone.I am speaking from my Heart and Soul and I simply do not know how else to say this!

        • Melanie Tonia Evans
          September 5, 2015

          Hi L A,

          gorgeous I know TOTALLY what you mean – when finally what you need information wise arrives.

          Welcome home Dear Soul.

          Mel xo

  • ozomon2015@gmail.com'
    Jack Robins
    September 4, 2015

    Mel, please accept my deepest soul-felt gratitude for sharing your truth. I will re-read your article several times today, to further digest. However, upon first read, I am left with this question:
    Since this journey has been intentionally selected for my soul’s evolution, then is there any utility in escaping the abuse (I am still in the relationship, but waiting my exit opportunity) – especially if we already know the intent/gift that the N is for our soul? Will this troubled soul (the N in my life) become exhausted by my truth – and then give up/exit my reality?

    Again, thank you. – Jack

    • ejh7454@gmail.com'
      EJ
      September 4, 2015

      Jack,
      I would venture to guess that the vast majority of those of us who have experienced N abuse have tried to rationalize our situations. I sure did. There was always that vain hope that somehow I won’t have to do the work to liberate myself and go on to live a more authentic life. My ego was always looking for a reason not to make my own change, and it often took the form of hoping that the N would somehow do the changing instead. I was so good at fooling myself into thinking that I was the teacher and he was the student!

      I think the best you can hope for is that the N will discard you for a more appealing source of supply, but until you take on the deep inner work you will still be entangled in the effects of the relationship. You may even find another narcissist to help nudge you along. I had to ask myself many times if I really believed that my soul wanted me to exist in misery (or even just in proximity to misery), and for a long time I thought maybe the answer was yes. But gradually, thanks to Melanie, I began to see myself more clearly and to love what I was seeing. It was in some ways terrifying to learn all this so late (I’m 70 now), but my life has become so much better than I ever thought it would be. Keep on with the process of inner discovery and don’t focus on the N at all. And whatever advice Melanie gives you – take it!!!!

    • joanne.cassar@um.edu.mt'
      Jewel
      September 5, 2015

      Many thanks dearest Alena for sharing so much wisdom and truth. I always ask: Could there be an easier way instead horrific abuse to bring Divine Light to darkness and up-level it? Why is abuse the way? Why isn’t love and light alone sufficient? Much love. xxx

      • Melanie Tonia Evans
        September 5, 2015

        Hi Jewel,

        Truly, I think most of us have thought the same thing …

        The real answer is because at Soul Level we did not want the easy path … we wanted to savour the full depths of evolution, emotion, drama .. the experience of ALL of it ..

        And we don’t JUDGE any of it at Soul Level.

        Pain is inevitable – it is the grist for growth, it is what propels our evolution, and it is only ongoing pain (suffering) when we deny the parts of ourselves that feel uncomfortableness, pain and sadness ..

        Suffering is that path …

        To deny these parts that hurt is to deny Life and our own aliveness… and Life and Creation itself …

        And it is the denying of God as All That Is …

        Hence why demonization and scapegoating and “the devil” was created … And then everything that was “bad” was blamed on an outside source – rather than honoured as a “way” to integrate, love and heal something even more.

        This led to splitting, disowning, segregation and pushing away .. starting with everyone’s own Inner Being.

        I promise you Jewel that you will experience the most profound LOVE of self and others, when rather than deny the parts that hurt, you fully go towards them with love, devotion and the desire to deeply bring healing to them.

        That is exactly what my entire healing model is all about -and why is is the self-partnering model of evolve rather than dissolve.. and integrate rather than disintegrate.

        And truly … when as a human race, we have had enough of the pain of creating “separation” maybe then we will have “nirvana” on earth … but it is up to everyone of us to fully embrace the shadows, the pain, and the “dragons” in our own internal caves to FINALLY heal them and bring them into the Light.

        Denying them and wishing they didn’t have to be there will never achieve this.

        Plus the gifts we unleash, by releasing old painful survival energy (darkness) into pure creation (light) – means we get repaid 1000% fold for doing this.

        Words can’t express how much ..

        So why wouldn’t we accept this with all of our heart?

        Much Love back to you Jewel.

        Mel (Alena) xo

    • Melanie Tonia Evans
      September 5, 2015

      Hi Jack,

      I do accept your heart-felt gratitude, and please know you are so welcome.

      Truly, Jack I believe our evolution is about leaving … it is about taking the stand of “I love, accept and approve of myself enough, not to endure abuse” .. that is the necessary light – its the light of “self-love” … that is our greatest mission on this planet.

      Then the interesting thing is this Jack, through this person’s abuse we realize something very profound .. that they were only mirroring the identical ways we spoke to and treated ourselves.

      In fact no-be has ever abused us as much consistently than we have abused ourselves.

      So through this person, we leave, we get the message .. Then we do the ultimate work on cleaning up our relationship with ourselves … to transcend the fear, pain, judgments, conditions etc we have on ourselves (and on others and / or others reflect back at us) …

      This person is an evolution gift … why would they let go when we haven’t got the message they are delivering yet?

      And even if they did would you be resolved, if you hadn’t “got it” yet?

      Would the Contract NOT be fulfilled?

      Wouldn’t that just mean another person delivering an identical evolutionary opportunity (that you missed with this person) would have to appear in the hologram of what you know as your “Life Experience”?

      Does that help explain?

      Mel xo

      • Nikihause@gmail.com'
        Lola
        November 8, 2015

        Wooooooah…
        Then the interesting thing is this Jack, through this person’s abuse we realize something very profound .. that they were only mirroring the identical ways we spoke to and treated ourselves.
        That’s the ticket. This is the golden ticket. Thank you.

  • sue.rougeolle@nottingham.ac.uk'
    Sue
    September 4, 2015

    Dear Melanie

    You have helped me so much over the last 14 months – I am in the middle of divorcing my narcissist. This article is so powerful and I feel has struck a cord with me. Thank you so much – your work is fantastic.

    • Melanie Tonia Evans
      September 5, 2015

      Hi Sue,

      you are so welcome.

      Bless you dear lady, and I am so pleased you are strong and aligned.

      Mel xo

  • sarahwood734@ymail.com'
    Sarah
    September 4, 2015

    Dear Melanie
    Love your article. Thank you. I absolutely resonated with you . Tears in my eyes while reading . Your clarity courage and love shine through
    Loads of love. Sarah.X

    • Melanie Tonia Evans
      September 5, 2015

      Hi Sarah,

      I am so glad you felt this in your soul.

      Thank you so much for your lovely post.

      Deeply grateful.

      Mel xo

  • williumarthur@hotmail.com'
    Richard
    September 4, 2015

    You have done well. Mission accomplished. to help many to understand this problem. keep up the good Work. You need to come to Europe. And USA. To help more people.

    • Melanie Tonia Evans
      September 5, 2015

      Hi Richard,

      thank you, and I am so pleased I am on mission – yet I know there is still much to do!

      I will certainly go wherever I am lead and directed Richard ..

      It will unfold perfectly!

      Mel xo

  • barbradle@gmail.com'
    Sleuth
    September 4, 2015

    Narcissism as I have come to understand it through these teachings is very much about identity I came to realize that I was trying to identify with someone who was projecting a false image and was not really there This was frightening to say the least But I came to understand that what I needed to focus on to orient myself to was the Heart of God There is no peace with a narcissist I wanted love and sharing and joy but what I got was drama When I turned my soul toward the Heart of God I found peace I found that sense of belonging and of Love that cared for my hurt and pain My soul directed me back home to the Heart of God

    • Melanie Tonia Evans
      September 5, 2015

      Hi Sleuth,

      absolutely this journey is about coming home to Love, and creating a real life with ourselves, or own Soul and our own Higher Power, rather than co-dependent assigning a False Source, another human being, as the source of ourselves.

      Mel xo

    • lina126y@hotmail.com'
      Lina
      October 4, 2015

      Sleuth,

      Thank you for your candid comment. It’s just what I needed to hear. It’s been so hard for me to return to God… While with the N I was so distracted and too busy coo-depending on him to realize that my soul was dying right along with his… I didn’t even know why I was feeling so unsatisfied, lonely and empty. Every morning I would plead with God to let something in my life change…and it did but not quite what I had anticipated. My N put me on a very high pedestal while we were together only so he could watch me crash when he pulled it all from under me> He left without closure and with a new supply, ready to take my place…After 16 years of “love” and “devotion” from who, I thought, was my twin soul, the one God had hand picked just for me, the crash was quite hard. I’m not sure why I would have wanted to cause myself so much pain just grow? I don’t think I can ever be grateful for this “gift” but, who knows, life has been a bizarre surprise thus far.

      Melanie,
      Thank you for your insight and dedication in helping others in this journey to healing from abuse it’s admirable and remarkable . XO Lina

  • ejh7454@gmail.com'
    EJ
    September 4, 2015

    Thank you. Melanie. This article did indeed come at a perfect time for me as I am working constantly to up-level myself. Your words have once again inspired me and given me a big boost of energy to continue on. I have much more inner work to do, and it’s so much easier with your help and inspiration.

    • Melanie Tonia Evans
      September 5, 2015

      Hi EJ,

      I love that we are inspirational for each other.

      You are so welcome, and I always love a “good synchronicity”!

      Keep up the great work EJ, you’re doing beautifully!

      Mel xo

  • heather@webrelish.com'
    Heather Smith
    September 4, 2015

    I’ve had these same thoughts and feelings and similar experiences. However, I was at my most spiritual when I met the narcissist and feel that his presence sent me into the pit of darkness when I was experiencing the most light. A paradox. I’m not sure it was really necessary, felt more like a spiritual roadblock. I think I would have been better off if I’d never met him, because I took a fall in consciousness and into egoic thinking that I haven’t recovered from. I really wasn’t like that before. Almost like catching a virus.

    • barbradle@gmail.com'
      Sleuth
      September 5, 2015

      I agree with your thoughts Heather I think many times how I would have been better off to have never known him I think one of the main reasons I ended up in the narc situation is that I could not identify what was happening People always ask why did you stay? One big reason is because I spent so much time trying to figure out or understand what the narc was doing What is going on? Because it is confusing and disturbing and complex complicated and it took time to realize what I was dealing with A narcissist Then I had to educate myself about what that means I was recovering from an accident and was vulnerable But I don’t think I would have ever met this person any other way I do not think I had any soul contract with him

    • Melanie Tonia Evans
      September 5, 2015

      Hi Heather,

      I really want to express this to you.

      We all thought that in victim mode .. or at least a lot of us did.

      I, like so many, like you .. though “I was SO sorted” … so on my evolution journey and so spiritually fit, before the N, and that it was just a really cruel, unnecessary twist of Life.

      Truly, Heather, after doing the deep inner investigation and inner subconscious work (true self-partnering) I found what an egoic illusion that was … and not because I started “Blaming” myself, rather because I found so many unconscious wounds that point blank meant I needed to get abused to heal them (bringing the unconscious into the conscious).

      I was still righteous (judgmental), I was still hard on myself (as well as others), and I still treated myself hugely with conditional love (with a capital C) … hence why I also at the start wanted to take NO responsibility for why this had happened to me.

      That orientation disintegrated me so much it nearly killed me – because I was MISSING The entire point.

      You can stay in this place Heather .. but truly you are ignoring the truth of “so within so without” … If you where spiritually sound and a full source of being to yourself you would have been “full enough” will self-worth and self-approval and self-love – you would not have endured. You would have listened to your body screaming “abuse” and left and known how to partner with you, instead of assigning someone else as your source of you. We ALL would have gone when abuse started, if we were self-partnered and “home” within ourselves.

      Heather, we cannot take any “fall” into anything unless it was a part of ourselves already …

      And that part is self-separation – that is the ego, the fears , the pain … that truly many of us had covered up (without knowing it) until an N came into our Life and slammed these parts from unconsciousness into consciousness (activated what was more dormant).

      And yes if we don’t up-level our gaps we CATCH the virus .. horrendously. Its a virus of unconsciousness … the egoic victimization ‘I am NOT responsible as the source of my own creations ‘..

      N’s play it our horrendously, hence why they don’t evolve and continue to abuse. Victims can catch it too … if they choose to stay there.

      That’s the only reason you are hurting this much right now – because you are choosing to believe the absolute basis of that virus.

      So you can truly either stay indignant, which is going to hurt like hell continually, or you let it go and go inside and heal those parts of you hat require you to come to them … not with judgement, and not continue to dismiss and self-avoid … but with immense love.

      That’s what it was REALLY all about … for all of us that thought we were “there” and discovered we actually weren’t.

      Its all about releasing ourselves from how we were to ourselves, the N was only the catalyst to get us on to that.

      And Heather you are STILL being like this .. you are judging the situation instead of healing and supporting what needs to be healed and supported within you!

      Can you see the TRUTH here about lack of self-love?

      Heather, if you have had enough, open your heart and come into my next webinar … I’ll help you get there.

      http://www.melanietoniaevans.com/freewebinar

      Mel xo

      • Rpatchett66@gmail.com'
        RP
        March 25, 2017

        This is incredible, spot on for me. Thank you endlessly, Mel, this article confirms my truth like a 9th inning home run. Incredible! I am glad to read it today as I made a contract with myself this week to go the Way despite feeling I would die from N abuse. I know it is true, and see him in my dreams every night because our Soul contract was so important for both of us it is lifetime of knowing and beyond life and death experiences with this N. I cry if his soul can not uplevel, it feels like Annakin Skywalker choking out his pregnant wife she dies and he goes to the dark side but is always redeemed and known by my soul love. Thank you, it is no coincidence to find you and this today. Namaste.

    • laughingbuddhaingot@outlook.com'
      Jen
      September 5, 2015

      I’ve had a very similar experience to yours, Heather. Before I met my N husband, I had very little spiritual knowledge and few life skills to make it on my own. He showed me the spiritual path but when I began to surpass his knowledge in certain areas, that’s when things went downhill. He taught me how to cook, how to buy a house and a car and budgeting too. So I wouldn’t say my spent with him was wasted but if I stay with him any longer, my soul will suffer a thousand deaths. I think it’s the Universe’s way of saying, time to go!

  • jeanjohnson2911@gmail.com'
    Jean
    September 4, 2015

    Wow Melanie – this is amazing!!You have such a great way of ‘telling the story’, so that we can have deeper understanding – so eloquent!

    Thanks so muc for this – you are a light filled healer and angel to many!

    • Melanie Tonia Evans
      September 5, 2015

      Hi Jean,

      I am glad you enjoyed the account and it made sense!

      Bless dear lady!

      Mel xo

  • mitchyt54@gmail.com'
    Michellel
    September 4, 2015

    This was a very honest and brave thing to write.So many people seem to deny the existence of the soul and it’s purpose.Melanie is helping understanding in relationships with narcs .these deep understandings of the situation are a source of acceptance and peace .

    • Melanie Tonia Evans
      September 5, 2015

      Hi Michellel,

      Thank you! That is so true this is all about deep understanding, acceptance and peace.

      Reasons and truths and bigger Soul pictures grant us that!

      Mel xo

  • anna@thewellbeingclinic.co.nz'
    Anna
    September 4, 2015

    Mel

    Thank you! Thank you so much for sharing this. I have been so looking forward to this perspective as someone who understands these soul contracts so well myself! You are truly fulfilling yours by raising consciousness and I am so deeply grateful to you! Xx

    • Melanie Tonia Evans
      September 5, 2015

      Hi Anna,

      bless you dear lady, yes you do understand these so well.

      Thank you for your encouragement to bring this forth too. I felt you helping that process!

      Truly I am deeply grateful to you Anna as well in so many ways 🙂

      Mel xo

  • toverduin@bigpond.com'
    Tatiana
    September 4, 2015

    Hi Mel
    My lifelong question has always been “What is the purpose of my union with this person?” Your article sheds light on this “Athena” ☺️

  • hndunn03@gmail.com'
    Helga
    September 4, 2015

    Dear Mel!
    Loved it! I always knew it was arranged by a higher power my relationship with a Narcissist. But the best think it was necessary for my soul growth, it made me grow up and make the shift!
    I’m reading all your articles, they are all true, glad I read this one today! Just like many say, just at right time.
    Thank you!
    God bless!!

    • Melanie Tonia Evans
      September 5, 2015

      Hi Helga,

      I am so pleased this resonates with you, and that you know the truth and have made the shift.

      Yaya! That’s what this is all about!

      Mel xo

  • lorri.henry@yahoo.com'
    Selkie
    September 5, 2015

    Thank you for this.
    Though in my personal experience some evolved souls may make the voluntary sacrifice of living out a narcissistic lifetime in a contract with another soul who wishes to learn and grow.
    It is a form of Love.
    This serves the purpose of healing and growing for them both.
    In my case that person has passed away…And I am sure he is continuing on his journey between lives learning and healing and hopefully I am too.

    • mitchyt54@gmail.com'
      Michelle
      September 5, 2015

      I agree with this very much .

    • Melanie Tonia Evans
      September 5, 2015

      Hi Selkie,

      I totally agree with those type of Soul Contacts, and really expected to see that in my LBL.

      Like you, I really do believe that the highest level of love anyone can grant is assisting us to learn to love ourselves.

      Bless you, and I am sure he is too, just as you are.

      Mel xo

      • Hilmarose@aol.com'
        Rose
        September 17, 2015

        Thank you Selkie… This too is how I feel deep, deep, deep within… I know I have spent many lifetimes with this person and I can not shake the knowing that he will be there when this lifetime is over… I have struggled with it but I just can not shake it because I have seen it in dreams and it just resonates with everything in me… thank you for sharing because now I know I am not alone in my beliefs.

        “some evolved souls may make the voluntary sacrifice of living out a narcissistic lifetime in a contract with another soul who wishes to learn and grow. It is a form of Love. This serves the purpose of healing and growing for them both. “

  • barbara.rudoni@yahoo.it'
    Barbara
    September 5, 2015

    Melanie, I always knew inside myself I have a mission here, I always “felt” this inside. I am not totally aware of what yet, but sometimes a specific idea comes out from inside, I am wondering if I could talk to you directly about this
    I found you “by chance” in Internet, I am diligently doing the Quanta Freedom work since August 4 when I bought NARP, feeling everyday better and more conscious, I started my co-dependency 10 days after my father death,I was 15. Repeatedly along all my life. I had a number of partners and a marriage, last one was N more than any previous , 7.5 years relationship. This is the very first time in my life I am with no partner physically beside me, and feeling well, changed, different. I am 53. Thanks for doing what you are doing.
    With Love xxx

    • Melanie Tonia Evans
      September 5, 2015

      Hi Barbara,

      truly when we come home to ourselves, we learn to deeply love and self-partner and we can start listening to our inner cues.

      We get inspirations, and it is about following them, not logically rationalizing them away.

      If they feel “right” we just follow …

      That’s certainly all I did with this mission – it really had a Life of its own … I just showed up following what “felt right”.

      Such is the case, with writing this article at this time.

      I hope this helps.

      Mel xo

  • sallybitan1@gmail.com'
    Sally
    September 5, 2015

    This rings true. I woke up this morning with the questions in mind that this article speaks to. Thank you for articulating these ideas so clearly. Good work! I think my narc. is one of those huge egos at play in their darkness. It is sad to see. But a relief to be free. Moving on in peace, but the love is hard to let go. Maybe it is love of unconsciousness. I was raped at age six. Trying to up level that experience feels like barfing a boulder. I want to fly away from it. Maybe I should leave it with the narc. But he is just a frightened child; a baby born into war. I won’t add to his suffering. Asking God for guidance, I hope it will come. Again, thanks.

    • Melanie Tonia Evans
      September 5, 2015

      Hi Sally,

      you are very welcome, and I am so pleased this has helped grant some answers.

      The love is always hard to let go of Sally when we still have traumas trapped in our body that are a match for the abuse this person brings to our life.

      I am so sorry you have been through what you did as a child, but I promise you that when you track through your body and safely and lovingly release the energy of that rape (and other abuses) out of your Energy Field (subconscious) they just won’t be there anymore.

      Then you will be emotionally free as well as physically free, and there will be no need for your unconscious to keep drawing in people who represent this wound in order to get your attention to come inwards and heal it.

      See how it works?

      Please come into my next Webinar – wwww.melanietoniaevans.com/freewebinar because there you will learn about Quanta Freedom Healing which is the super tool to safely and powerfully self-partner and up-level these old traumas.

      Mel xo

  • Deb7611814@aol.com'
    Debbie Hadgkiss
    September 5, 2015

    WOW Melanie, One of if not the most POWERFUL articles you’ve written so far! Couldn’t take my eyes off while reading it but will need to probably read it a few more times to digest it all. Although I’ve read up on past life regressions, I’ve never personally experienced them except for possibly glimpses or fragments while in deep dream state or via vivid psychic visions. Most definitely something I’ve been wanting to try….

    • Melanie Tonia Evans
      September 5, 2015

      Hi Debbie,

      so pleased you enjoyed this!

      I definitely recommend the experience if you feel drawn to it!!

      It makes life so much bigger than “just” this Life – absolutely!

      Mel xo

  • Jhg503@aol.com'
    Joann
    September 5, 2015

    I just got goose bumps all over my body. This spoke to me. I am listening.

  • ltdmtl@msn.com'
    Mark
    September 5, 2015

    I also googled the names, and found it interesting that Alena is a name of Greek origin as well. Xui is of Chinese origin and it’s meaning is elegant or beautiful. Melanie is of French origin and it’s meaning is dark. I don’t know where this fits in but I have some ideas as I’m sure you do as well.

    My question is, do these “polluted souls” ever get the chance to evolve and know love?

    Thanks for sharing. Much love.

    • Melanie Tonia Evans
      September 5, 2015

      Hi Mark,

      I know right .. pretty astounding…

      I also had a post on my Facebook Page from a dear friend who pointed out all the letters in Alena are found in Melanie …

      I totally get that this is all about – “from horrendous darkness is the seed for the greatest light” … absolutely that is what my Life has been about …

      Also so interesting in my Numerology and Astrology this is everywhere … Karmic quadrangle (numerology). Then the astrology side Scorpio soul node … from intense darkness, destruction, toxic symbiotic relationships (past lives) … Chiron in Pisces 12 house squaring Saturn with Lilith “Choices for this life time, “death, institutionalization or evolution” … and I nearly, nearly went down the path of the first two options!!

      (and so much more alignments that I wont bother writing about here!)

      Crazy!!

      I know I am not the only one on a HUGE path, and truly I look at some people’s lives and think mine really was quite easy … I can’t even fathom what some people have been through ..

      But the bottom line is “there is Soul reasons” and when we awaken, the pain can stop and the True Self creation can begin.

      Thank goodness … it’s exhausting after Life Times of struggling with ourselves!

      Mel xo

    • Melanie Tonia Evans
      September 5, 2015

      Hi Mark,

      for your question I wanted to do a separate post.

      Even polluted souls at their core still are Love – they are a part of the Oneness / God where everything came.

      However if they are unable to continue evolving themselves anymore … if they are “polluted” then I very clearly understood in my LBL that they need to go back to the Oneness, back into “the pot” so to speak, and come back out as a new innocent soul starting evolution again.

      Maybe it could be argued that would be a wonderful thing to have happen. Imagine having an emotionally clean slate!

      What was so interesting about my LBL was I realised souls are evolving – they truly have flaws, issues and “stuff” .. they are not a fully created God-Self by any stretch .. they are still evolving to get closer to All That Is.

      Maybe these innocent souls that start again are so close to God that they feel incredible joy!

      And the irony is that this is PERFECT for them – because what does a run-amok ego want more than anything?

      To stay SEPARATE, to NOT know itself as at One with All That Is – so this is absolutely I believe the most vital step for a polluted Soul – is to go home to God, because the separation from Oneness is exactly what has caused it to be in so much pain and so polluted.

      It is the ultimate LOVE to heal what has not yet been healed.

      Ironically this is the thing that spells total annihilation to a narcissist … because the loss of “I” the “Identity” the “False Self” means literal terror.

      And it is total annihilation of the False Self.

      And like with ourselves, those of us who were abusers … something was still there … there was some sense of Oneness. of God within, our True Self, of connection to The Field that granted some hope – that’s why we (or anyone else who is still capable of evolving) has still stayed in the game!

      The truth is “All That Is” is the only destination for everyone, regardless of whether they were Adolf Hitler or Mother Theresa, because there actually is NO other destination possible.

      The belief that there is other possibilities is one of the biggest illusions that set up fear, pain, judgement and conditional love in the first place.

      Does this help Mark?

      Mel xo

      • ltdmtl@msn.com'
        Mark
        September 6, 2015

        Lol, not really, but this is ok. We’re all on our own path to the Oneness. Some makes sense though.. She has “aha” moments (unless they’re feigned) and then loses them rather quickly. I do hurt for her, that she is incapable of knowing love, but my compassion was deeply targeted so I need be very careful.

        Thanks for sharing this Mel. It was very brave of you. xox

  • michelle@girlauthentic.com'
    Michelle
    September 5, 2015

    I had often wondered if my experience with the narcissist was a Soul Contract. I figured it was. Once that insight occurred to me, I actually felt compassion for them and came to appreciate them, and wondered if they agreed to come live such a dark life, or if they were just completely unknowing as you described. I actually hope it is the latter. I would never wish that kind of life on someone who was aware/conscious of it. I became grateful for my experience and how it has transformed my life.

    • Melanie Tonia Evans
      September 5, 2015

      Hi Michelle,

      truly, there is nothing that a soul is experiencing that hasn’t been chosen by that Soul.

      It was all a conscious choice from the Soul perspective.

      Maybe my answer to Mark above helps to bring you peace on this?

      Mel xo

  • sundee@mail.com'
    Sundee
    September 5, 2015

    Your topic for this newsletter is timely, and a confirmation. A few months ago, I began thinking… if I am attracting my life experiences, what is it about ME that attracted a 4 year relationship with an emotionally and psychologically toxic (not to mention exhausting) alcoholic narc? What is it that I need to learn from this experience?

    After listening to the audio book “Sacred Contracts” by Carolyn Myss, the light went on for me. My narc was a soulmate of sorts (not the type I thought he was in the beginning), but he was a painful reminder (more like a ruthless shove) for me to get on track with healing the deep inner wounds caused by being raised by my alcoholic, sociopathic, narc mother. OMG! The more time went by with him, the more he reminded me of HER!

    To my great surprise, I still had all that crap sealed inside my box of amnesia. He pushed EVERY BUTTON INSIDE OF ME! Before him I was walking through life thinking I was ok. I thought I had survived my childhood of mental, physical and sexual abuse unscathed. I thought I was loving and not too cynical. I thought I had a positive outlook on life. I thought that being abused made me a more compassionate person, and besides, I already “let go” of my past a long time ago.

    What my narc pushed me into realizing is that those toxic psychological wounds are still buried inside me and are waiting to be dealt with. Realizing the TRUTH of my situation also relieved me of my blame toward him, my rage, my pain, my feelings of loss and betrayal. It all makes sense now.

    Thank you for your insight, and for sharing it with the world. We are truly amidst the AGE OF AWAKENING 🙂

    • Melanie Tonia Evans
      September 5, 2015

      Hi Sundee,

      yes, yes and yes …

      It is all about having our unconscious wounds – the parts of ourselves separating ourselves from living fulfilling True Self lives – being triggered by people bringing these wounds into consciousness so we can heal them.

      It is the perfect system of life that was withheld from us as the WISDOM that we all needed to know to get out of the unconscious mess that is Planet Earth!

      So awesome you are on to it!

      Sundee do you have a tool to reach and up-level your subconscious? I’d love you to come into my next Webinar, because it is all about that tool … people get shifts incredibly powerfully and quickly in not just the actual Webinar, but also the connected Private Facebook Group.

      http://www.melanietoniaevans.com/freewebinar

      You are really ready for this Quantum Work Sundee!

      Mel xo

  • barbrabloy@gmail.com'
    Barbra
    September 5, 2015

    Thank you Melanie. I agree with what you are saying in this article and find it to be very comforting and also reassuring that I am on the right path!
    Thank you for being you. Sending you love and appreciation from the bottom of my heart!

    • Melanie Tonia Evans
      September 5, 2015

      Hi Barbra,

      I am so pleased you receive confirmation, peace and healing.

      That was absolutely my intention.

      You are very welcome 🙂

      Mel xo

  • renee.humphrey@gmail.com'
    Renfree
    September 5, 2015

    A day before you posted this article I commented on your latest Utube video and said you were a beacon. After I hit publish I thought “why did I call her a beacon?” . . .and looked up the meaning to make sure I was right in using the word . . . .
    A Bright Guiding Light. Yep. 🙂

    • Melanie Tonia Evans
      September 5, 2015

      Hi Renfree,

      thank you so much for your gorgeous comments on YouTube and here too.

      You are becoming a bit of a lightening speed beacon yourself!!

      Bless 🙂

      Mel xo

  • scarletdazedgirl@aol.com'
    SAGE
    September 5, 2015

    Melanie….
    So incredible you have spoken your truth! This resonates so much for me, I completely believe and understand what you are communicating with us.
    I am positive, as you wrote and shared this, it shall bring more people to an awareness thst goes beyond the 5 senses.
    Thank you.
    This completely solidified for me that I found the right place to help facilitate my personal healing journey from narcissistic abuse.
    There are no coincidences…. we that have gathered as a community in NARP were meant to be there.
    Keep shining your light!!!
    Love and Peace ♡ Sage

    • Melanie Tonia Evans
      September 5, 2015

      Hi Sage,

      I am so pleased this “spoke” to you ..

      Yes our Real Life is way beyond the basic five senses … and this is such a basic understanding in our face!

      Everything we have ever wanted or created was to feel positive emotion … and what “emotion” can be logically seen or defined as one of the five sense?

      Our entire life has very little to do with them!

      If we are not willing to look at the unseen world we have no mastery of the seen world … in stark contrast we are totally controlled by it.

      Yes, so true Sage, we are all a part of Soul Groups coming together .. certainly NOT by coincidence!

      Thank you dear lady, I will keep shining – and you too!

      Mel xo

  • thekullast@gmail.com'
    Therese
    September 5, 2015

    Thank you Melanie. This article was very helpful for me. I know that I have been on a Soul mission. I am strong enough and I know what to do (even if my conscious mind doesn’t). I have suffered abuse from my mother and two sisters for 59 years. All of my brothers and sisters have been mentally enslaved via cult brainwashing/covert hypnosis. One sister tried to kill my sister-in-law with planted hypnotic thoughts (murder by proxy) and, of course, there is more to that story. I have been “No Contact” with 28 family members for 2015 and more knowings continue to emerge from my memory and subconscious. I am half-way through NARP. I do one module every day for a week and then move on to the next Module. Very, very helpful, like you know exactly what I need to hear and process to heal and evolve. Thank you so much for your bravery, guidance, support, and “channeled” rememberings. I gain so much and know that I am not alone. Thank you, Thank you, Thank you.

    • Melanie Tonia Evans
      September 5, 2015

      Hi Therese,

      You are so welcome, and I am so thrilled you are doing the work, getting the relief, uplevelling and leaving behind that legacy of abuse.

      It takes great courage to make these changes and do what you have done with NC, and buckle down to healing your Inner Identity.

      Huge kudos to you Therese and you are an inspiration to people who think it can’t be done ..

      It can, and you are living proof.

      Bless you Therese, and you are so welcome.

      Mel xo

  • tma88@comcast.net'
    Tina
    September 5, 2015

    Thank you for your insights and wisdom. I was on the spiritual path after many years of emotional abuse and confusion. Then after about 8 years, the narcissist ‘re entered my life. Of course I thought I could “help him”. What a disaster! I almost lost myself again. I then found your website at “just the right moment” I now know the reason I had to suffer again. I am back on the spiritual journey to higher consciousness and it feels so right!

    • Melanie Tonia Evans
      September 5, 2015

      Hi Tina,

      you are so welcome, and I am so thrilled you found my material at a time it helped.

      Great you are on the path 🙂

      Mel xo

  • Sammylaredo@gmail.com'
    Lydia
    September 5, 2015

    Wow wow wow wow wow!!!! Thank you!

  • tma88@comcast.net'
    Tina
    September 5, 2015

    Are you saying these souls are demons? I have no problem believing that. What has happened to me feels supernatural. Please confirm.

    • Melanie Tonia Evans
      September 5, 2015

      Hi Tina,

      I am not saying they are “demons” .. I am saying they are an absence of Light, separated from All That Is, as unconscious (“I am not responsible for my own experence”) egoic beings ..

      Is what happens to us a spiritual experience? …. absolutely ..

      We all know the feeling of narcissists crawling around under our skin feeling like a literal disease ..

      But really is that “them” or is that the activation of our own wounding, our own separations from yourself and All That Is, and our own self-demonisation?

      It could stand to reason, especially given that when we clean that up – there is NO trace of the narcissist in our minds, being, emotion or Energy Field in any shape of form.

      I don’t grant N’s the significance of “demons” .. they really don’t have any true power … I think of them a lot more as “reflectors” …

      Just as I don’t believe the myth about “the Devil” ..

      Things to ponder …

      Mel xo

  • lizzie@freedomyoga.co.nz'
    Lizzie
    September 5, 2015

    Hi Melanie
    I have been following your blogs for some months now. Thank you from the bottom of my heart for giving your time to verbalise and validate what those of us who have been in a narcissistic relationship know – and only those intwined in this mindfucking relationship have any understanding of.
    I was married to a narc for 32 years, in a relationship for ten years prior to this and have been separated for 18 months, the last 10 months “no contact”. My protection order went permanent last week after a day in court.
    There’s not much I don’t know about narcissistic abuse! However it took an article my daughter wrote referring to her father as a psychopath just over a year ago for me to start googling “narcissism/psychopath” and so start the realisation that this mutherfucker never, ever loved me!!!
    I also am sooooo grateful for my souls evolution and my awareness and awakening of consciousness. I never would have reached this level of knowing if I hadn’t been taken to the dark night of the soul and the depths of despair in that relationship.
    I also have an understanding of our past life connection and everything you wrote resonates with my inner knowing.
    Tears well up in my eyes everyday when I give thanks to the universe and higher energies for this incredible journey I have had, especially the past 10 years.
    Thank you for being you Melanie, providing a forum for us to have our lives validated. You speak my truth.
    Blessings
    Lizzie

    • Melanie Tonia Evans
      September 5, 2015

      Hi Lizzie,

      I am so glad you are on the path to the truth …

      Further along truly he will cease to be a “mother F’er” and he will become “the person who gave me back to me” … and then truly he will cease doing “mother f’er deeds” in your life experience ..

      You have part of it there, that level of gratitude … its just some more to go …

      and the path will open for ones that are just more of a gift ..

      There is still wounds for you to find in your body and up-level to get there.

      Bless you and big hugs.

      Mel xo

  • kerrie4004@hotmail.com'
    Kerrie
    September 5, 2015

    Melanie, thank you so much for sharing your LBL experience with others. Your light is truly inspiring and has helped me remember who I am and totally transform my life. Much love.

    • Melanie Tonia Evans
      September 5, 2015

      Hi Kerrie,

      you words were gorgeous – thank you!

      And you are so welcome 🙂

      Mel xo

  • Karen_lyons@rok.catholic.edu.au'
    Kally
    September 5, 2015

    Hi Mel, the fact that I “get this” and connect with what you are saying is a true gift which I would never have received had I not been narc abused.
    Thank you.

  • Karen_lyons@rok.catholic.edu.au'
    Kally
    September 5, 2015

    Just to add, I find myself feeling compassion for this person. I know I can feel love without having to involve myself in his life at all. I think this is what true forgiveness and acceptance might feel like. This feeling does not always last but it does feel great within me. Peace, acceptance and love no matter what is going on with him. I hope there is a time when this level of peace is there more often than the feelings of resistance, regret etc.
    Thanks again. Xx

  • slam3000@gmail.com'
    Isaac
    September 5, 2015

    Wow! What a fascinating article – one that has profound depth and meaning, and will need to be revisited in order to absorb everything here.

    One of the curious things that you mention is the meaning of your soul name. This is interesting to me as I’m adopted, and my adoptive parents gave me a different name to that of my birth mother. However, having read this article, I’ve just looked up my original name, Timothy, and it transpires that it means ‘To honour God’. Now, I’m not religious, but I definitely DO believe in a universal energy that governs us all, so the idea of honouring ‘God’ is, to me, about being true to one’s soul – for the good of the self and for humanity.

    Narcissistic abuse appears to take us away from our real selves but, from viewed another perspective, I think they’re actually showing us how much love we really have to share and the greatness we’re capable of; to continue to love a narcissist in the face of such horrendous abuse is certainly foolish, but it also demonstrates one’s infinite generosity of spirit.

    But most importantly, I think the narcissistic abuse I’ve experienced has highlighted my inability to *RECEIVE* love by repeatedly bonding with unsuitable people. At a subconscious level, I’ve laboured under the assumption that if I can just love someone enough – bend over backwards, go the extra mile, spin cartwheels for them etc – then they will love me back, and we’ll live happily ever after. Of course, narcissists love this dynamic because they know that no matter how often they shift the goalposts, you’ll still be there to play ball with them. Having finally detached from the narcissist, it seems so obvious now but at the time, I was far too blinded by the illusion.

    I’m actually feeling quite exposed and vulnerable at the moment, but I think that’s a good thing, as it’s making me look at and think about my wounds, far more than I ever have done in the past and how I can go about healing them. For the first time in a very long time – possibly ever – I’m focusing on *my* needs, rather than those of people who are unable to reciprocate.

    Thanks for your help, Mel. And please come to London (UK) and spread the word about narcissists and healing. I just know you’ll be a smash!

    • flowertherapy@icloud.com'
      Val
      September 5, 2015

      Isaac, beautifully articulated…your thoughts and feelings resonated so much I wondered if I might share a book on this subject that I found life changing. Actually 2. Both by Robert Schwarz..the first is ” Your Soul’s Plan” the Life You Planned before you were born”…the second ” Your Soul’s Gift” ..In the second there is a chapter on adoption. That expanded my understanding and my heart so much. There is also a chapter on abusive relationships. Thank you for sharing your insights and blessings be with you.

    • Melanie Tonia Evans
      September 9, 2015

      Hi Isaac,

      Wow regarding your name … I really do believe there is great power in the vibration of our names!

      The truth is so many of us thought we were giving love, and being “loving” but the real truth – when we start tracking the wounds through our body – is we find the beliefs “If I just love and give you more hopefully this time you will love ME and I will be safe …”

      That was never true love Isaac. It was love from fear with need and conditions. And then naturally when these people did not supply back the love that we were unconscious trying to get them to give us, as a result of what we were giving them – we clung, we tried to force them to.

      They were never capable, as a result of their unconscious wounds, and the truth was were not capable of real love either because of our unconscious wounds, The ones creating us not being truly in love with ourselves (full) first.

      Hence why this was only ever about healing ourselves .. exactly what the narcissist was showing us – “All the ways we weren’t loving ourselves” .. and then we can become truly and authentically loving without condition, without need and without expectation – with other also healthy people.

      Mel xo

  • martha.kovack@sympatico.ca'
    Martha
    September 5, 2015

    I am in awe.
    After reading this blog, I had an astounding “ah-ha” moment when I realized that a man that I had a great deal of drama and trauma with this week has been waiting in the wings as a back up for my ex narc for 14 months … to the point of meeting this person through my ex BRINGING ME TO HIM at the exact same time that I instituted no contact. !! I have had contact on and off with him but couldn’t understand why he didn’t ever ask me out – he just stayed in contact.
    This past month, I started giving my ex narc some attention, dropping my minimal contact boundary.
    Interestingly, on Sunday, this “back up” person connected with me and finally asked me out (over) and I jumped. He then proceeded to ruthlessly push every button I had in ONE FOUL SWOOP – almost a culmination of the past 11 years with my ex narc in one evening.
    I have been stunned by what happened ever since until reading your blog this evening.
    (My ex narc is calling me as i write this. I am struggling to not answer!!)
    So now it’s back to my inner wounds… which I have been knocking back like mad ever since finding your blogs a few weeks ago – especially the recent one with the Quanta healing example. I am so grateful. It really is so fast and efficient! It has made such a profound change in my behaviour already.
    I am buzzing with this new awareness and consciousness – buzzing!
    Thank-you so much for all of your responses to comments as well. They have been just as helpful as the blog!
    With much gratitude and love…xo

    • susanna_smith@btinternet.com'
      Maisie
      September 5, 2015

      They’re vampires. Birds (bats) of a feather hang together. They tell each other, “I’ve taken enough and I’m bored, why don’t you have a shot?”

      Just cut the traces. Don’t get involved with or meet anyone you knew through them – especially if they’re long-term friends. It takes one to know one and you can rest assured that they know all about each other. Bram Stoker knew about narcissists, Dracula wasn’t some ancient Count, he probably based the book on an acquaintance – a contemporary. No Contact means what it says. Stay safe, stay free.

    • Melanie Tonia Evans
      September 9, 2015

      Hi Martha,

      I love that you have had a great breakthrough of consciousness!

      New up-levels are sooo exciting!

      Are you working with NARP in order to truly heal and break through? … because it sounds like you are really ready to do this deep work Martha.

      Mel xo

  • Jodayah@hotmail.com'
    Padma
    September 5, 2015

    Hi Melanie,
    Interesting you mentioned the twin flame. I felt I had met my twin and were connected on so many levels and I just wanted to experience that level of love, but shock, he rejected me and the abuse started. His mask dropped… my beautiful twin flame turns out to be a narc? 2 years later and i’m still trying to wrap my head around it, because they are such extremes…

    • Melanie Tonia Evans
      September 9, 2015

      Hi Padma,

      I really believe soul mates show up in our life to support our journeys and reflect back all the ways we are partnered healthily with ourselves.

      Whereas, Twin Flames are the Master Teachers showing us every way that we are not yet loving and accepting ourselves.

      Narcissists are hugely in this category. We were never meant to have a relationship with them, rather … via them we were finally meant to get the one essential relationship healed – the one we are having with ourselves.

      These are the powerful relationships that bring us to our knees to stop looking to them as our saviors, and come inside ourselves to finally love and accept ourselves enough to be our own.

      Come into my next webinar please if you want to really address and heal this … http://www.melanietoniaevans.com/freewebinar

      Mel xo

  • susanna_smith@btinternet.com'
    Maisie
    September 5, 2015

    I’ve never been regressed to a past soul, but I know it’s there. I’m at the stage where I just feel such pity for my narc. How he misses all the joy there is to be found in little things like a beautiful sunset, a kind person’s actions, a joke – no sense of humour, although he could, v. rarely, be funny himself – so you saw glimpses of this wonderful person who was disabled. How his whole experience of life was about HIM. What a dark place. How tedious. No wonder narcs have the need to create chaos and drama. Never experiencing peace, never escaping their prison cell although to everyone else it looks like the opposite – they’re the ones roaming around leaving chaos and damage in their wake. Soon I hope I won’t pity him, I hope I won’t even think of him. But I will remember how he shone an ultra-violet light on my damaged inner self, showing me there was repair work to be done. That’s the gratitude bit.

    I found out this week that 9 months ago he’d said “I’ll kill her if ‘this’ goes on” to the police officer (who fortunately didn’t tell me at the time – he could see I was already scared enough, just advised I lock the house and call them).

    This ‘this’ was what I thought was our normal married life, no blow ups because I’d avoid them if one was brewing – I was a coward). His final N rage came from nowhere and he abandoned me. I spent the winter in dread of ‘something’ – a predator out there. I’ve never been frightened before, and this recent discovery – down there in black and white on a police report – has made me trust myself. I was right last winter, not paranoid, so from now on, I will trust my instincts, trust my inner soul – it knew.

    But then I found your work Melanie and everything made sense. How I’d allowed myself to be undermined, how I’d helped him stage his grand productions, how I’d abandoned responsibility for myself. I was the little 5 year-old hoping someone would love me or even like me. Now I’m going to be liking/loving myself. Just as I liked myself at the very point I met my narc – I was like a nice ripe apple just waiting to be picked off the tree. But he saw the weak spots and unhealed damage. Now it’s down to me. My advice? Trust in your soul – it’s there – it knows what’s best for you.

    • Melanie Tonia Evans
      September 9, 2015

      Hi Maisie,

      I am so glad you have brought the power and wisdom back to self … that’s where the answers, liberation and growth always is.

      Bless 🙂

      Mel xo

  • nomadbarb@gmail.com'
    Q
    September 6, 2015

    Good for you! I wrote you a few months ago observing that something was missing from this group for me, and it made me not trust it completely, like I was missing something & because it was, I did not want to be a part of it. Specifically, about how we collectively, at a point in our healing can and should love the narcs (from a distance of course) in order to help heal the planet. And now, over the the past month or so…there it is. There it appears…authenticity & the truth! Bravo. You are very brave & strong & Indigo…& a leader! Thank you. I am so very grateful for your aide in my healing soul sister. This is very powerful.

    • Melanie Tonia Evans
      September 9, 2015

      Hi Q,

      I am not here doing anything I do for anyone’s approval including yours.

      And your opinion of me prior to this article or after really would only be “egoic” and is not why I do this mission.

      I simply follow my intuition, my guidance and the timing I’m told when and when not to.

      Mel xo

  • pisarek36@msn.com'
    Gale
    September 6, 2015

    Dearest Melanie,
    I wept as I read this article…wept with tears of confirmation and understanding. I have believed in past lives since the first time I encountered this idea…it wasn’t a leap for me…I just intuitively recognized it deep inside. But this article clarified how toxic, deranged people fit into the Universal scheme and my personal experience in this lifetime. It also allows me to understand the purpose in the “death”of my infant “brother” and why my sisters were unable to evolve and gave up on their journeys in this life. I didn’t know, I just accepted there was a perfect purpose, and metaphorically placed my void in understanding on a mental shelf for future understanding. Thank you for sharing the understanding. Everything makes perfect sense. I knew it would, and now it does. Once again, you light the path of bringing myself home to me. You’ve got invisible wings and our collective and individual consciousness are evolving because of your courage and “wings.”
    With deepest love and gratitude.
    Gale

    • Melanie Tonia Evans
      September 9, 2015

      Hi Gale,

      I concur with those feelings – past lives were always just a deep inner knowing for me too … I get what you are saying!

      It is so true there is a perfect purpose to it all, and that grants us so much comfort and healing …

      And such a beautiful acceptance and a way to work with the natural rhythms of Life instead of oppose and get smashed up by it.

      Bless your beautiful words Gale and thank you for being a soul sister doing Life this way with me and this Community.

      Mel xo

  • jenandjordan.pettigrew@gmail.com'
    Jennifer Pettigrew
    September 6, 2015

    Dear Melanie,

    Thank you for taking such a courageous step by publicising this article. Like yourself I’ve been extremely fortunate to have come through the abuse through the understanding and application of quantum energy healing work. I have been incredibly blessed to have been able to raise my consciousness to a point where I am genuinely grateful for the life time I have had – including the 14 years of narcissistic abuse (and everything before) as this was the path I chose, in order to get to fulfilling my life purpose.

    Understanding about Soul Contracts and that the abuser’s were in fact partners in my own evolution was the key to my liberation. I have actually thanked my ex-husband for helping me in my evolution and whilst I had tears of happiness / forgiveness / love, I could see this actually resonated on some level within him.

    I am now well on my way to living my soul purpose, helping souls / people with personal empowerment and relationships – with a specific focus and drive to seek out and help those ready to heal from narcissistic abuse. Without the experiences I have had, I would not even know any of this existed.

    To read your article really stirred something deep within me – I have been holding myself back from going public for fear of persecution – your article has inspired me to step forward more publicly and be seen shining a light on narcissistic abuse.

    thank you for your amazing work and inspiration

    Jen

    xx

    • Melanie Tonia Evans
      September 9, 2015

      Hi Jen,

      how gorgeous that you are also on mission as per your Soul Choice to help raise consciousness.

      I LOVE that!

      I am so glad this article has helped grant you permission to “really come out” … It’s time Jen … the world’s ready ..

      That’s the message I got – “Collective consciousness is at the level now … it’s time.”

      And that’s exciting!

      And how true is that – as per the response to this article?

      Mel xo

  • mvrdc5@windstream.net'
    Virginia
    September 6, 2015

    I too thought that I had come to terms with the many levels of abuse I’ve had in my life. I have always been able to give strength , encouragement, love to so many people. Truly being defined in words such as “Compassionate, “empathetic” “positive” “loving” etc. However after the dissolution of a 30 year marriage (definitely a narcissist/co-dependent one) I have never felt more drained in my life. Due to children and some legal ramifications I cannot do 100% no contact. I’m around 95% no contact though! He still is, & I know he will continue, trying to manipulate any opportunity that deems necessary to have an interaction. My awareness of his tactics definitely helps me deflect & I am getting better at any dealings I must have with him. I actually do not hate him (nor anyone) & this feeling of compassion towards him/his pain has been starting to occur. That does not mean I am letting him back in as you have taught me well on setting boundaries! The things you have written about not focusing on & blaming the narcissist are so true. It is not my place to try & heal him. I need to work on self-love. A conventional visit to a psychologist rehashing the past only left me more drained.Everybody tells me how strong I am and yet I am finding the truth is I am weak and nearly shattered. “Nearly” but not broken which to me is not a bad thing because it has brought me to this place where I know I need to heal and where I know I need to work on self-love.

    Spiritually I’ve always known that this world would be so beautiful if we could treat each other with love and kindness.I feel a strong desire, almost as if there is a powerful force within me that needs to radiate light out into the world.
    I am so drawn to your work and I will be signing up for your program as soon as I possibly can. The saying “you are your own worst enemy” is so prevalent especially with the levels of procrastination and tiredness I still am feeling. I know that I need your program and I do believe there is a shift going on in the world overall.
    The religion I was raised under believes you only have one life , yet I know that the soul is a process of evolution . Fighting things that you were told to believe versus what you feel in your core meets with resistance, not by me but in many friends & family members. Again each must follow their path though. Your blog on “past lives” pushed me to write you. I am actually on a certain level slightly scared to delve into this possibly for the pain it will bring to the forefront?? I even cry watching your blogs & doing some of the healings you have generously shown on YouTube!
    I want to thank you for being brave enough to follow your soul journey because in doing so I KNOW you are guiding souls to the place of love, peace, and joy!
    …. Have patience with my battered soul but I promise I am on my way towards becoming a “Thriver”. Thank you Melanie for listening to your “true self”!

    • Melanie Tonia Evans
      September 9, 2015

      Hi Virginia,

      I am so pleased you found my work and that it resonates with you.

      I promise you that when you start doing NARP and getting the shifts through your body, you will start getting instant relief, as all that trauma gets released from your cells, and you will discover how much easier it is than trying to “think” or “find enough information” to heal ..

      It’s just a far superior way.

      It’s great you are going to become a NARP Member!

      Then your soul, I promise Virginia, will no longer be battered.

      Mel xo

  • mvrdc5@windstream.net'
    Virginia
    September 6, 2015

    Dear Melanie,
    I literally just posted a comment(above) and then I opened an email from you from your mailing list today…”Are Your Children Suffering”. I skimmed it & will read it more in depth tomorrow when I am more rested . At the end of your current email you noted your next email will be about legal battles.WOW it is as if you clearly know the 2 major issues I loose sleep over: My children’s well being AND a particular item of my divorce decree which haunts me.How can anyone deny the psychic connection? Thank you again for all you are doing!! May God keep you in his grace,always!

  • Getmail100@yahoo.com'
    Bren
    September 6, 2015

    Wow……now I get it, now I understand why I’ve had the life I’ve had with Narcs everywhere. Oh my…..not a coincidence I stumbled upon the Narp program….I always “knew” there must be something else here……I’m “seeing” it…..the ancient life pic flashing befire me where I was Narc abused……came into this one not wanting to…..kind of rejected by Narc parent……wow this is deep and powerful……oh so this lifetime has not been fun…..it was to uplevel my souls evolving. Ok just let me sit down and take it all in. I want to do this past life work too. Thank you. This is deep stuff but is making a lot if sense out if my life now.

    • Melanie Tonia Evans
      September 9, 2015

      Hi Bren,

      it is amazing when we start unravelling it and breaking free from it.

      That’s actually when we see it the clearest …

      Mel xo

  • kayhardy23@yahoo.com'
    Grace
    September 7, 2015

    This post gave me goosebumps. A few nights ago I had a dream that I went to see my ex.

    In this dream, I felt a strong need to see him so I went. I felt calm and in control. So I get there and he is very affable and friendly and wants me to wait while he works on something. So I wait, at a safe distance annd walk arounfd a bit and I can see him working with pen and paper. Finally he finishes it and holds it up for me to see. Its quite large, and fancy with calligraphy. He is proud of it and sure I will like it. And, it is….a CONTRACT!

    I did not read it, I did not say a word, but I did get just close enough to rip it in two and then left.

    This dream has had me unsettled and baffled for days now. This blog definately came at just the righttime for me to understand my dream 🙂 but, yikes, I am a bit startled too!

    • Melanie Tonia Evans
      September 9, 2015

      Hi Grace,

      yes this is a message for you …

      That’s why Life lines up things like this.

      To help us wake up.

      Mel xo

  • bhramirez702@gmail.com'
    Bea
    September 8, 2015

    Parts of your article truly resonates with me and other parts do not. I also cried a lot as a baby and always knew that I did not want to be here. The difference is that, despite your sadness about being here, it sounds like you agreed to be here, according to what you said was discussed at your between life meetings with your guides. When I did my past life regression, I also went to a place that was between lives and met with guides. I told them that I didn’t want to come back here and was told that I had to. Somehow, I just knew that this was not true, because as Sovereign Beings we always have a choice about where to go. I was given two choices and told to pick one or else a choice would be made for me. I gave in and chose what I thought would be the less painful choice, but have always felt that these “guides” really did not have my best interest at heart.

    The strange thing is that this experience has come up several times during my N healing sessions . I have had to go back and self-partner with my between life Being several times and let her know that as long as we are here, together, we are going to make it the best experience that we can. It is simply amazing how much progress I have made so far.

    In summary, I would just like to say that the truth as to why we are here is unique and personal to everyone. Don’t be discouraged if your story or beliefs do not sound the same as Melanie’s or others. Although we may not not have all arrived here on the same train or hold the same views about what reincarnation is really all about, the N healing techniques truly do work.

    • Melanie Tonia Evans
      September 9, 2015

      Hi Bea,

      I agree with you that as soverign beings we have a choice, and although I can’t really state what your experience was … I would consider if something like that was my own, that that lack of “love and support” is actually an egoic wound in my body that I would go inwards to load up cellularly, release and replace … (QFH)

      I don’t beleive there is anything other then Love at the higher levels and what can get in the way (I also used to have massive beliefs about Life / God punishing me, not loving me, destroying me, cursing me ..) was for me so many False illusions and painful torment (trauma) y Energy Field had taken on from previous and this life incarnations that were still stuck in there.

      If I had not done the amount of work on myself I have done, freeing and up-levelling my Energy Field with Quanta Freedom Healing, maybe my LBL would have been a very different experience.

      And that is not to say any of us are any more or less evolved, so please don’y think I am stating any “judgement” about your session.

      Rather … I felt though that this may be a healing clue for you.

      Mel xo

  • laface2010@yahoo.com'
    LuAnn
    September 8, 2015

    Hi Mel-

    I love this article. So interesting and answers a lot of questions for me. I have often thought about the idea that I had a contract with a certain narcissistic person. I dated him not only once, but twice. Years in between that first and second go. I didn’t get the message the first time. I wasn’t as devastated the first time, in fact I hadn’t felt devastated at all. And it didn’t really hurt all that much. I was angry and I kept busy with work and other escape modes.

    I got the message this time though and knew it was what you are talking about, despite the difficulty it was to move forward, given a year later I was then hit with another proverbial two by four about my family. I always knew the dynamic was dysfunctional. I just didn’t know the level of toxicity. A lot of things came to light for me when all this happened.

    I also had the thought in the past that I may have been an abuser in a past life as well.

    Am I right in thinking that our souls have no gender? So that souls are able to merge with male or female humans?

    Also, when you wrote about being someone in past lives, who was abused as well as an abuser, and that you’d worked on and released that, it struck a chord for me.

    What track(s) in QFH do you suggest and recommend in releasing the ‘being an abuser’ issue, both for past lives as well as present life?

    Thank you Melanie.

    • Melanie Tonia Evans
      September 9, 2015

      Hi Luann,

      I experienced my soul as “female” in essence … but more “oneness” as in divine based … and yes absolutely we can change genders. But I believe we primarily choose one gender …

      Very very easy with NARP Mod 1, or Goal Setting to work on “being the abuser” … set the intent … you will find in your body the charge of “Me Being An Abuser”, and then treat as a normal shift – your body and the process will take you through every part of the rest.

      It’s simply another energetic wound to up-level.

      Make sense?

      Great you are on to this … huge releases up-levels happen when you work at that level.

      You will know what I mean after you do them.

      Mel xo

      • laface2010@yahoo.com'
        LuAnn
        September 10, 2015

        Makes perfect sense Melanie. Thank you for your response.

  • wowcon@mac.com'
    Fran
    September 9, 2015

    This post marks a whole new level of brave for you–congratulations on rising (yet again!) to your calling. I’ve never done regression, but I was receiving a body-work massage during my divorce when I received a message comparing my ex’s role in my life to Judas’ role in Christ’s life. Judas served Christ’s purpose, and my ex has helped me get back on track with mine. The darkest days of my journey were relieved by thinking about both of us as eternal beings and thinking about reuniting at “home” and having a good laugh over how well he fulfilled his contract to destroy my delusions. I pray I’ve served him as well 😉
    Thank you for your work and your courage!

    • Melanie Tonia Evans
      September 9, 2015

      Hi Fran,

      I thoroughly enjoyed your amazing post!

      Bless you incredible soul – and thank you for your lovely comments and the divine energy you bring to this planet.

      You epitomize what True Consciousness and Evolution is.

      It is LOVE.

      Mel xo

  • antoniodiezargos@gmail.com'
    Ada
    September 9, 2015

    Hi Melanie. I love your work. Thanks. I am still thinking if buying NARP program yet. I have infections problems, candida, and lots of behavioral/addictions/relationship problems since child. I went three years ago to live again with my mum in order to try to cure but i wasnt able to do it there. I thought i was damaged due to comments regarding that i cant cure, etc. Then i found about Nabuse. I went out home and tried. Nothing. Then i found a girl who i think has candida too. I started to do inner healing and found that i am the narc….i think we both are. So you can imagine. In 9 monts of relationship, we broke zillion times, i was kicked out his home on several occasions. I just want my health and hers. One day i went sleep with her and slept with the problem. Next morning i woke up and said. I have the solution, we both need to talk in first person singular to learn to communicate. She first denied so i said: this is the game i want know. We only tried half an hour after which we were both happy and laughing and practised sex (i know talking about me is totally narc but i thought it would be interesting to try). After the first half an hour she said”wow, trying to do this i realise how much controler and manipulater person i am”. So i was happy that she found by herself what i was actually feeling. Next morning her first sentence was in second person beggining with “you” referring to me. I got mad, totally, then started silent treatment and things went mad again no sex she asking and asking about me, me doing silence, she crying. Horror. Here i am two months later living on my van again. Thinking about all relationships and my ex and fear of having cancer or who knows. This doesnt say 0.000001% of my thoughts and feelings anyway i stop here. My question is beeing both possibly narcs, do you feel like speaking in first person is good for us? Is it possible the relationship if i have a genetic issue with cod/n issues(my grandpa and uncle died young from cancer but i studied and know my genetic tree and the story is long and i feel narc is rampant in my family and hers) if i need to cure a (my opinion) strange disease?

    • Melanie Tonia Evans
      September 14, 2015

      Hi Ada,

      That is wonderful you are considering NARP – it is the number one tool in this Community that creates true Thriver results.

      All of our emotional, mental and absolutely physical symptoms Ada are all to do with trapped unhealed trauma in our body – trying to get our attention …

      And the truth is all codependents have narcissistic traits, and we all have had trauma that has caused us to be misaligned.

      I also believe if narcissists dedicated, without seeking any N supply (the drug to self-medicate the inner wounds and ignore them) – to shifting the trauma out of their body – they would heal.

      The only way – truly – I know to emerge from all of that is to get the trauma directly out of our bodies, rather than trying to battle it into submission – through any “logical” tactic.

      And that’s exactly what NARP does.

      Mel xo

  • lstahl3@windstream.net'
    simon
    September 10, 2015

    How do I get my children to understand this, my nar has alienated them from me! Or am I being punish for leaving? I left because of physical abuse. Have tried to see my kids 30 n 34 they don’t return phone calls or text…also would like to see grandkids! What is it…..

  • onintime@wi.rr.com'
    Darlene
    September 11, 2015

    I appreciate your research, Melanie, and your latest information on Soul Contracts with Narcissists. Your information aligns with what I was told by both a professional who deciphered my birth-chart (and knew that my family’s abuses were sexual) and a psychotherapist, who used my birth-chart during therapy (as proof I was honest with her). They both warned, long before I met my future NPD husband, that he’d be abusive, but that I had a life lesson I couldn’t avoid–as though it was my destiny to live through the abuse in order to graduate to a better understanding of strong boundaries. This ex-husband’s personality and treatment of me was similar to personalities in my NPD family that treated me as their scapegoat. I’m glad to report that I’ve long since divorced my ex-NPD and no longer have contact with my abusive family. Thank you, Melanie, for all of the information you provide from your research. It’s all good.

    • Melanie Tonia Evans
      September 14, 2015

      Hi Darlene,

      you are so welcome.

      It is incredible how it all lines up .. and just helps us understand our Soul does have a purpose.

      Bless you Darlene.

      Mel xo

  • heather.ferreira@gmail.com'
    Heather
    September 11, 2015

    Reading your article is a strange experience for me, because I used to correspond by letter with Dr. Michael Newton, and I was a follower of Dr. Wayne Dyer. As someone surrounded by narcissists since birth, and who worked in a later profession crowded by them – Hollywood – this was the mystery question I could not answer: Why did I attract such horrible souls as a helpless child and why did my life keep being destroyed, over and over again, by more of them, seemingly the same Satanic being shifting masks, names and genders to destroy my dreams and career time after time since, really about 1970? Seriously: I’ve had my dreams and life wrecked now seven times by seven separate narcissists all using the same pattern and apparently studying the same script. Enough is enough, right? But there was never any answer when I meditated or prayed. My unanswered question was always the same: What the hell “gift” lies beneath a life pattern like this?

    The only answer seemed to be to learn never to trust ANYONE. That didn’t resonate with me, so I began drinking to bury my need to know why, because I figured I never would.

    Finally not a week ago, Dr. Dyer departed us, and on producer Brian Glazer’s website, Brian posted a farewell quoting Dyer saying exactly what you’ve posted here. I left a hurt, angry message on it, unaware yet Wayne had passed, asking, “Well what the hell ‘gift’ is there in (famous director) destroying my film career in 1996 and copying every script of mine he’s ever read or gotten access to, then pretending my ideas were his and becoming famous off them while burying me in the dirt as though dead? Where is the gift in that?” Of course there was no answer. Then I found out Dr. Dyer had passed on, and became pretty depressed, then moved on with my life.

    I feel Dr. Dyer is already hard at work answering his emails from beyond and led me to this article and to you, Ms. Evans. You’ve provided an answer to my question to him. I’m still not sure I believe there can be a gift in being cut to your core the way narcissists do, especially after so many of them. I’ve learned never to trust and not to love, and have become very cold and very closed.

    But I will study your article.

    Deep in my heart I KNOW this is an answer Wayne Dyer led you to author, and pointed out to me and others so we can finally know metaphysical peace. Thank you.

    • Melanie Tonia Evans
      September 14, 2015

      Hi Heather,

      I hope this helped you realise that non-acceptance and victimisation just dooms us to an eternity of “more”.

      And certainly no one in our past is going to grant us compensation.

      In fact NO compensation ever comes until we become “grace” on this ..

      It just is what it is.

      I promise you this Heather, the people I know who have been the most righteous about “what happened to me” (I used to be one of them) in past life regression of QFH (my healing tool now) all found (they were willing participants in session due to having had enough of the pain) that they THEMSELVES had all done in past live what they hated about what other people did to them.

      The truth is at the Quantum Level Heather – there is “no other” … we can ONLY ever hate ourselves disguising that “as others”.

      That discovery / understanding helped me immeasurably, because finally I knew the entire battles was really only better me and me …

      And it was time to work with THAT.

      Mel xo

  • heather.ferreira@gmail.com'
    Heather
    September 11, 2015

    I would like to add on Melanie’s behalf, if she will let me, that if what she has presented seems “too deep” or complicated to understand, buy and read the book “Journey of Souls” by Dr. Michael Newton, because in very simple language Newton explains it all. THEN come back and read Melanie’s article again and see if it still seems complicated or too much to handle. Trust me, she’s nailed it, and I believe what she’s written. Terrifyingly, I’ve lived it, because I suicided out of several past lives myself and for identical reasons. Trust this author. Get and read the book. Read this article again.

    By the way, Melanie, I just finished reading your article and would like to add something funny. I think my guides made sure I came across you and read what you’ve written here. The reason is this:

    I had an eerie feeling starting to read this article that Dr. Dyer and my guides had intended me to see it. But when I saw your first words about your past life regression session and saw “Colosseum”, “gladiators” and “Rome”, my pupils just about popped right out of my skull.

    I live in Rome, Italy — about six miles from The Colosseum. I’m typing this from my apartment in the suburban Rome neighborhood of Lazio!

    What a wonderful, strange world. 🙂

    • Melanie Tonia Evans
      September 14, 2015

      Hi Heather,

      of course 🙂

      Thrilled that you included this, and thank you so much for your support ..

      Wow what a crazy coincidence – love it!!

      Mel xo

  • magickmanifest@gmail.com'
    Neil
    September 23, 2015

    I always had a sense of being on a Mission. I was born to an N mother and father and older brother and had a string of relationships with Ns. I was the black sheep of the family, the scapegoat who was always spiritual, always different to the flock I was born into. I think you’re right Melanie. The lightworkers must face the darkness to be any use to the planet at this time. After 7 years with my N partner, (we suffered a house fire together and lost everything two years ago – an event I now believe was instrumental in my awakening) I finally left. Every day is a battle. Every day I toy with the idea of giving up on my “mission” but every day, it’s people like you and the people in these forums who remind me that the Work we do is everything. So I keep hanging on. I would like to feel personal Joy again but in my unrelenting optimism and faith, I know I have something to offer others and the world. We were trained as children, many of us, to Do for Others. And perhaps this is another gift from the Ns. We are already oriented towards being empathic, and Service-to-Other oriented. I felt in my soul, that I would end up losing my partner so that I could continue to be of use and service to the Whole, and it plunges me into human despair, but ultimately we lose everyone and everything we have, in the physical when we leave. It’s all temporary. So in many ways, the deaths and loss we experience are just practice. Everything is okay and always will be. Love to you all. And thank you for sharing your authentic self with us, Melanie. In my lonely moments, you continue to offer comfort.

  • skintosoulmassage@gmail.com'
    Nicole
    October 9, 2015

    WOW. In July of this year I became much more interested in this life between lives information. I’ve been wondering and theorizing since then, about the narc’s role in life evolution. This article was so illuminating and inspiring and keeps me motivated to stay on this path to evolution of my own soul. Thank you Thank you Thank you, for shining your authentic light and speaking your truth!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  • fallonme35@yahoo.com'
    Olivia
    October 15, 2015

    Melanie,

    This article was so timely and some of it very confirming to what I was starting to believe about narcissists and why they can’t change. They are here for their mission as well as I am here for mine. I am now in process of healing from a narcissists and it is not easy (I also experienced two of these abusive relationships one right after another, back to back, literally…oh my).. but I understand that I am here to evolve and they both were sent as a huge part of my growth. These abusive relationships also happen with same-sex couples too…of course……..where they’re people their are narcs.

    You’re so a gift. Thank you so much. Hugs to you..

  • cyberworduser1@yahoo.com'
    narc abused
    November 8, 2015

    Timely. Synchronicity. And all True.
    In retrospect and up levelling it all seems clean and clear
    But when the human journey starts, no one, absolutely no one has any idea.
    Hence while few survive, most perish.

  • cyberworduser1@yahoo.com'
    narc abused
    November 8, 2015

    And victimhood is technically debilitating for human existance is purely technical. Few get it. But personally, victimhood is an absolutely true FATAL reality . I am one of those who OWN one’s victimhood. Else I wouldn’t have learnt much, about human and divne, BOTH. My recommendation is OWN your victimhood. For you’ve been there and done that. Only then, only then can one begin to truly understand the what’s what and the who’s who.

  • marky2266@gmail.com'
    markdon
    December 3, 2015

    This story resembled my life. My mother is Narc, and father is a distant person who doesn’t care to communicate with us. I was borned in a dysfunctional family where I was assigned as the family scapegoat, my elder sis is the golden child, and younger bro is the mascot while sometimes golden child. I suffered terribly with all the negative projection, shaming, blaming, all hurl at me.

    My mother told me when i was borned, as a baby i cried all the time even on slightest nudge. I didn’t speak a word until i was 4 years old, my mother thought i was mute and got worried.

    As i grow into a sch age boy, i did poorly in academics and instead of support, i got shamed and spiked often. My parents uses intimidation and emotional abuse to manipulate me into complying to their demands. I suffered mostly poverty, neglect, and emotional abuse throughout my childhood. Now i rethink about my child experience, i think i am more like the parent taking care of their needs while they are the children.

    That’s my background story. So what exactly do u mean ascension, transcending, and healing our self? Now that i am aware do is the next step?

  • laurenregina78@hotmail.com'
    Lauren
    December 15, 2015

    Dear Melanie,
    I am, for the first time ever, comforted and not so terrified of life because I have finally found a place full of wisdom and genuine compassion. I have spent so much time and energy in trying to understand why I have been so resistant to change even with so much insight and knowledge, I always find myself returning to the painful chaos and confusion that has been my life story for so long now. I have read about soul contracts, karmic relationships, childhood wounds, reinacting our childhood traumas, the law of attraction and so on. I’ve always understood this information on a logical level yet I could never find a way to use all that I have learned to change myself. So I have continued this dance of insanity with another being thinking I was just doomed to be miserable and that this is what love is. I have thought I had broken free from him so many times only to find myself in a state of obsession and denial and a returning to an even deeper loss of myself in order to believe that this time around he will love my daughter and myself. I want to fully accept this whole experience with him as a gift from my very own self. Theoretically I do. I know what you write is truth. I feel so alive when I read these peices pertaining to the soul. It is giving me courage to continue when not very long ago I just wanted to give up. My life has been at a standstill. I want to move forward now, for myself and for my little girl. Thank you for being the light when all I have felt is darkness. Thank you so much.
    Lauren

  • mlavegas@yahoo.com'
    Mary Lou Anderson
    December 15, 2015

    You are a Beautiful, Wise, Awake Sister dear Melanie; a Soul Mate of mine without any question and an Intuitive, divinely blessed being who is blazing the way for many, may. Thank you Luv; all of your word here resonate with my own life, my own purpose, my own fears, lessons and teachings. We are here to learn and teach; that’s our role. And I am SO ridiculously thrilled to have read this article this evening – never by any mistake, ever.

    I searched my email for your emails to pick up an article I knew I saw earlier this year about whether we who’ve had relationships with Narcissistic Psychopaths will be able to enter relationships again – with a non-Narc, because I’ve fallen – so hard again (but only very briefly b/c of my own Evolution) with another Narc – I believe. That message came showering down upon me this evening with a fervor – hard, fierce, powerful, clear! As I scanned your emails; I stopped at this one because …..hold on – I am now a Healer and had 3 opportunities this weekend, yes 3, to connect clients with 2 friends who do Past Life work; one a dear friend of mine as matter of fact and ….we were just talking yesterday about her experience with the man I now know is another Narc – as I suggested he see her for Regression work!

    No mistakes in our Lives – None. So this Article Melanie …yes, yes and yes. All of it. I’ve known for quite some time after I had (relatively) completely awakened – that at a deep and old Soul level, I was to merge with the ex N.P. But, I had no idea twice …. this Man, such a dear friend in many ways. But revealed to me 2 weeks ago, “M, I can’t feel, I can’t feel anything. I haven’t been able to fell anything my entire life.” I said surely, you loved your wife, your step son, your parents; his reply, “I think maybe, but I haven’t felt anything for as long as I can remember. Why am I here Mary, I don’t know why I’m here”. He’s said to me many times he doesn’t know why he’s on this planet Earth …. and I’ve actually worked with him on finding and keeping joy. He’s joined me for many things; nothing, he says he feels nothing. And again, I fell in love! Twice for Me.

    Ahhhh – Melanie, this Article – divinely timely. This is the 2nd time they’ve revealed themselves to Me; blatantly, clearly. Not without pain, when the realization hit me this evening; I weeped -I haven’t weeped for 2 years; I weeped again. I weeped for Me, I weeped for him. This time I’m stronger, wiser and…. your Article Melanie; so timely, so sensitive to my experience and …his. I am confident he knows I know …. so he’s begun to retreat from our deep friendship – apparently not. Thank you for the insight which I’ve innately felt strongly similar revelations for the past year or so.

    I can “See” Narcissists, but this one snagged me; he’s been sweet, helpful. But then he saw me seeing him and as with so many in our times now – he showed his Truth; he had no other choice. And then your article – Blessings my Sister; infinite thanks for your always most incredibly timely posts; we Souls definitely travel together with significant Earthly loving purpose. I’m ecstatic we’re on the same Team and appreciate your tenacity ….

    Melanie, never forget – You saved my life Luv, yes you did. The PTSD was a deadly spiral; your intuitive medicine was powerful; I had the choice; I chose to keep reading, Spirit entered me with a fierce purpose and I learned Trust, I learned Compassion, I learned how to learn Discernment. The latter the most difficult …to me, the largest lesson in this lifetime of mine.

    Hoping you sometime take the time to study Kaballah Astrology (I’m sure you already have) …. living my Tikun without any doubt and as for Numerology … I find it interesting I’m a 1 this lifetime – and struggle to the extent I have ….although the Teachers greatest weakness is their greatest Strength and Power. I am Blessed, thank you Luv, You are a Blessing.

    In Peace Always, Yes, Our Roles are Mighty and Our Time is Now; With Love, Luv,

    Mary Lou

  • princesspepper@gmail.com'
    Sarah
    January 13, 2016

    Melanie,

    I got out of a narcissistic abuse situation almost a full year ago (was “best friends”/in love with a narcissist for over 3 years, during 2 of which he was in a relationship with another woman, who he continues to abuse to this day), and never fully processed what happened to me because it was too painful and too fresh. But in the past week or so, thoughts of him and that experience have been resurfacing, and I know that means it is time for me to look at it head-on and fully understand the situation so I can heal. Luckily, I have had an incredible support system, and discovered my spirituality shortly before the relationship ended, so I have been intuitively “up-leveling” ever since I went no-contact. Regardless, the pain of going through that experience was not being faced head-on, and it was keeping me from being able to trust all of the positive energies and signals I have been getting from someone new in my life.

    Last week I started watching a lot of youtube videos about narcissists and narcissistic abuse, but none of them made me feel better until I found yours. I immediately recognized that you were speaking from a place of spiritual knowing, and due to my own belief system, I knew that if anyone was going to have answers that would bring me peace, it was going to be someone with your mindset. I joined your mailing list–today is day 4 of my new life, and I have already learned and progressed so much. THIS blog post, though, was huge. The one huge, looming question I had left after processing everything that happened with the understanding of that it was narcissistic abuse was, “Why is someone like that here, and what purpose does he serve?” I struggled with the idea that someone could incarnate and have to be so WRONG. But this blog entry brought me so much peace and understanding–not just about my narcissist, but about myself and my journey as well. I have suspected recently that I have been an abuser in a past life, and reading this blog confirmed that for me, and also helped me release some of the pain and guilt around that knowledge.

    I wept when I read the part where you said that we are in the dawning of the “age of authenticity,” and that these are times of ascension. I believe that 110%. I keep seeing more and more signs, and hearing and reading more and more people speaking about it, and it is the most beautiful truth I could ever hear. I am so filled with joy to be on this planet now to experience it, and even more so to be a helper in the process.

    Thank you for sharing your story, your experiences, and your truth. I know this is your soul work so it is by definition second nature, but I really appreciate what you are doing on a deeply personal level.

    Sending you loving energy,

    Sarah

  • margrant5@gmail.com'
    Marion
    January 23, 2016

    I’ve read the LBL books, and am so happy to read what you experienced in your session!!!
    Sometimes after my friends or relatives pass, I can get some contact..Sometimes a year or so later. My father who was abusive, but not a narcissist, had an awakening near the end of his life, and apologized. He is now more in my life than when he was alive. The odd thing is, my mother, was a covert narcissist, and so extremely attached to me in life, has never come thru in spirit, other than in one dream, where she was anguished by what she had done.
    In 6 yrs, nothing. So maybe there is a spiritual reason. I always have wondered about this. And it cleared up so many questions.
    SO good to read what your session was like, absolutely loved it, and my journey through narp.
    Thank you, from the bottom of my heart.
    Marion

  • terrigemini777@aol.com'
    terri
    February 2, 2016

    Melanie,
    I just read your article about past life regressions and narcissists. Then again, I want to tell you it’s synchronicity why I read this today, Feb 1. Didn’t feel good today, took day of work. I have struggled last 2 days over my narcissist. Not sure if he is a full fledged one, but definitely has some components I definitely am codependent. Your article contained about self love, not even judging ourselves. Well, I have grown a lot in last few months reading and listening to your u tube videos and articles. Thank you for posting Melanie. They truly have helped me. I have been in therapy, read books, ect, but not evolved like this until I have found you. Honestly…………. So, at 62 now, haven’t released my ex fully yet. Doing much better than years before. Been separated 10 years. Ya, long time. He’s still in my soul. So, If I do contact him again, like I have numerous times over 10 years, I will not judge myself as being awful. I do relate to a lot I read in your article. It is fabulous you had the courage to be authentic about your beliefs. Super. Melanie, I believe today was the day I was suppose to read this article of yours. Truly………….If I get rejected by my narcissist again, no big deal, I won’t be as hurt because I have evolved. These chemicals or peptides are awful………….Love ya Melanie for doing and reaching out to us………….Love sent…………..Terri

    • cmazlack@hotmail.com'
      Colette
      March 9, 2016

      My mom told me to ask my higher self every night before I went to sleep to Disconnect the cords between us. At night because “we” are listening to ourselves more then. So many little cords. I think of mine too, every day-but I like to think of her like the inside layer of a onion, just getting further and further encapsulated and further from importance in my life. Like some kind of manageable disease that has occasional flare-ups.

  • cmazlack@hotmail.com'
    Colette
    March 9, 2016

    I was sad that my ex & I had not met earlier in life & all the years we missed. I wished I had been with her as a little kid & how we both could have been different. It was amazi the level of connection we had & how the cords between our hearts were.
    BUT, of course, that was never meant to be. She is a narc/socio/train wreck. After the devastating break-up and discovery of the horrible truth of what she was..I sat here and thought, well, maybe next life we can meet earlier, before life gets us.. Then I realized, NO. The karmic debt is just too high. We don’t need to meet next time. I don’t need that tug from the past, causing attraction or guilt or anything. Whatever multilife connection we have, I don’t need it again and if somehow our circles pass again, it needs to be far, far removed from this life. She needs to pass me by. I told her as much, to which she snottily replied, “I will do as you request and pass you by next time”. (Even that gets blamed on me). Don’t find me, don’t have that light that attract. All is forgiven. Just pass me by.
    It was a even deeper level of depression to realize, not only all I hoped for us in this life and all my dreams for us were never, ever to be-but to also realize in a future life our paths need not cross. Such a loss.

  • gemofagrl@gmail.com'
    Emily
    May 4, 2016

    Omgoodness, this struck me just so…I have not been perfect as a parent over the years, but I do my best to learn and grow. I could relate so much to this. I always say if I hadn’t gone through all that I have I wouldn’t be the person I am now…but now I wonder why did I choose this? I would love to regress and learn why I chose a to take on soooo many Narcissistic people in my life…

  • sharonachang@gmail.com'
    Sharon Chang
    June 5, 2016

    Dear Melanie,
    Your generosity of spirit and transparency always amaze and comfort me. Oh, my dear, what a gift you are to the world in identifying where the pain starts and stops. Ironically, I got derailed from my course in Quantum Freedom Healing because I was experiencing difficulties from so many directions that it felt like I could not think straight or afford deep introspection. I KNOW all my long ago pain will not just fade away as I always hoped it would.
    You are so right about these deep beliefs being not curable by thought processes – I have tried long and hard and had therapy and read so many self help books.
    I am terrible with computers but I hope I can access my courses of healing again and grow to feel that “it is good that I am here”. Most of my life I felt “fatally flawed”.
    Thanks Melanie,
    Sharon

  • nxholly@msn.com'
    Holly
    July 29, 2016

    Sorry, but NOT all soul contracts are in our best interests. maybe the mild lessons are, but Narcopath Abuse helps no one, instead it can destroy you and your family. Thinking its all “good” spiritually allows people to be accepting of evil.

    Check out Mark Passio, and his YouTubes on New Age Bullshit. He employs critical thinking which is lacking in many new age groups.

    Also Cameron Day’s work: “Why I am no longer a light worker.”

    Also Michael Tsarion on the nature of evil and psychic vampirism.

    I used to be deeply entrenched in the new age movement, but no longer in all areas.

    Everyone can believe whatever they want. I’m just recommending more discernment and self protection. The beings you see after death, may not be who you think they are. They may be trapping you into reincarnating, and having you agree to terrible soul contracts that are only in their best interests. Psychopaths feed off our suffering. As above–so Below!

  • givemeu1@gmail.com'
    Stacy
    September 2, 2016

    This deceptive intelligent man, the covert kind that had me captivated by words of adoration, terms of endearing nature, touch that electrified my soul, only to discard me, leave me so utterly confused that I sought therapist, life line practitioners, and astrology consults to shed some type of a light on a love so strong that it even his negative treatment took precedence over my sanity. My initial answer was one that caused me to read articles for days on end just to find the meaning to what a Soul Mate entailed. The same soul mate who became my catalyst and drive to seek higher purpose, my lifes purpose, and spiritual awakening. I used my hurt and confusion, sent universal love and forgiveness to the one person who tore me apart and it was then that I stepped away from the madness. His Souls Contract came from a cycle of NPDs who passed along their NPD until it reached the chose one who became the driver to Soul Evolution. Past meets Present to heal one another and ends with sending loving energy out to the world in gratitude for our becoming enlightened

  • healthyhappystrongyou@gmail.com'
    Z.
    December 9, 2016

    Hi.
    Religiously, past lives are alien to me. I won’t claim to know everything about my own religion, despite study and practice, and perhaps there is a related concept there. In any case, certain things about what you wrote resonated a great deal.

    I had a similar dream, during a period of great health, consciousness and when I was living in love. I had gone to a place where there was only unconditional love, and I was involved with others, being taught the heal people by identifying certain ‘bugs’? based on a manual we had, and removing them. The thing about that place that struck me was the unconditional love, which was so beautiful, I cried a long time after I woke up.

    Truly it is about self-growth and evolution, not blame and victimhood. xx

  • boudjebosma@hotmail.com'
    Boudewien Bosma
    March 13, 2017

    Hi, I am perplex ,….so I gave up on asking why things happen as they do since I am here but sometimes It’ s so much and so confusing that I only can do one thing .be in totall acceptance of what is happening in the now or else I ,sort of ,will faint.Reading this blog just now being half way , out of The blue , I started crying and it got more and more while reading on, It felt as if this huge sadness came from another time and place then my own self in the now….
    It stopped ,the crying,when I finished your blog.
    Since two weeks after a huge shift ,everything is totally out of control , which probably, as I look back now ,feels scary but as a great relief for me.
    The rest is a big questionmark now .
    I don’ t know who I am anymore and that is totally allright.
    I am OK with that,
    I am halfway with NARP and I guess This only will get more ….of ….feeling The absorbing intoThe whole , and less of a single me .as if I slowly get vaporished out of my skin into something that I am not seeing yet I am stille here,
    So much strange awareness,that’ s how this all feels for me ….

    I am perplex.

    And absorbing

    Much gratitude &
    Goodnight

    BB

  • svnaimool@hotmail.com'
    Sherice
    March 14, 2017

    My heart sunk when you described the Narc as darkness and just lost. I feel a deep sadness for him and as I read I saw swirls of light like in a bubble ,more like whisks of colored gas, black and a bright light blue light and u could see him enmeshed in his ways reluctant to move on. But I realised something else, the old Sherice would have felt sorry for him and be driven to help him but there is no remnant of that emotion. I didn’t realize how much I had let go and how normal, natural this article felt. there was no skepticism it just felt real, normal. I felt more in tune with its explanation than I do with my little understanding of this life.

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