Hi there,
I had to write a reply because our stories are so similar. I had to run away with my 6 year old son to keep my unborn baby as he was demanding I abort her. Most everything was fine until I got pregnant. Then he began abusing me, got a new girlfriend straight away and started up a horrible smear campaign, telling everyone I was crazy and that i was falsely “claiming” I was pregnant. After a period of homelessness, countless court appearances, financial strain, medical conditions my baby suffered Inuterine, and going through the entire pregnancy alone, I am giving birth tomorrow and wouldn’t ever have made a different decision.
But I fear what will come next. How did things turn out for you? I am looking for hope xx

I smoked Pot every day, it helped me stop thinking about him and the hideous abuse and get on with my own thing.
I quit this crutch a few months ago as I began recovering my sence of self. NOw my moods are even, my creativity alive and I am a much more present fun mother.
However I did have to face all the painfull feelings without the smoke, but in reality it passed rather quickly and returning to balance has shifted most of it.
NO more masking and hiding for this little cooky ! I just want reality now. And more importantly my VITALITY and health have become my number one focus.

hi Smbl…our stories here are all sooo intertwined, My ex also became a born again and uses the bible to abuse, can you even beleieve that ? One night I found him praying for god to crucify people in my life.
He dreams of becoming a pastor, he helps the homeless and chairs AA meetings. But he now abuses his mother whom he lives with because she is a devout hindu. She fears him.
He has smashed her alters on many occasions.
This is fraudulent to my own understandings of spirituality.
However. I got away, my life is soooo much better, I am only new here as of today, but please please lean on us as source of strength and understanding. I left without any of this and it is the single most challenging thing I have ever done, It is a blessing you are here now. Take shelter dear lady and gain in courage, everyone here understands. Sending you love and light.XXX

dear Vanessa, I have been where you are, except I kept him around for the baby and their bonding…not good….she too suffered a conception,gestation,birthing and infancy surrounded by abuse and mayhem. We have been away now for 8 months and we are happy vital thriving people.The abuse never stops or gets better, it only escalates. I ended up being severely endangered many times and had a near death experience after loosing a second child and receiving extreme abuse for this. Please stay strong and true sister and know you have hormones at work also, so be kind to yourself when you are feeling grief of these bonding hormones. I have been thru all of this and more, I understand. I send you love and hope.Sincerely, Rachel RoseXXX

sending you sooo much love and encouragement Vanessa. You can give your beautifull babies a better loving wholesome life without him!XXX

Jac, thank you so much for your special words.

The knowing you speak of has really become such a powerful way to move forward with great faith, knowing we are clearing away all the negative patterns that have created our experiences and knowing that abundance and deservedness IS there for us to confidently claim and own. Yes what an amazingly vastly different life.

The more I do this work, the more I realize to what extent I had previously desired something but never had any kind of worthiness in me to attract what I desired.

I too wish you so much love, wonder and joy on your journey as well.