Comments on: Thriving After Narcissistic Abuse Story #8 Sherry

By: Sherry

Sherry — Tue, 29 Apr 2014 07:05:51 +0000

16 months later… I love the path my life has taken, so many positive people and experiences have come my way and so many more to come

By: Sherry

Sherry — Tue, 29 Apr 2014 07:01:11 +0000

In reply to Debbie. Hi Debbie, so sorry for a very late reply to your plea - yes by all means if you would like to have a coffee or chat, we can connect

By: Debbie

Debbie — Mon, 02 Dec 2013 16:39:59 +0000

Hi Sherry;

I am exactly where you were last year. In a state of devastation and panic. I live in Calgary and have very little support. would you be willing to meet for a coffee or chat on the phone?

Debbie

By: Bente

Bente — Tue, 15 Oct 2013 07:36:06 +0000

Day 15. He really want to try, he not only want me to official be his girlfriend, he want me to move in. I have kind of asked for that in 3 years.
Day 16. i’m so weak, cause i want to try. I know i will dissapoint my friends and everybody who cares for me.
Day 17. I decide to try, what did he said, he just said, ” you can move in ” that’s it. We did have a very good weekend. The dangerous part is that he can be so charming and do all the right things, Normal things, and we did. Have friends for dinner, playing guitar and sing. Go for a walk in the sun. Eating breakfast, looke at a movie.We have been together for so long, but this is a new situastion, we are kind of shy both. I have to say even if he only care about himself he is nice. He did admit, when he is angry and all is wrong with me, it is cause he do not feel good about himself.And for him that protect his image this is a huge, even if i knew, it kind of feel good that he also knew that about himself.
Day 17. He change his password on the computer, means he do not want me to look.
He already start hiding. then again we all have need for privecy…

By: Bente

Bente — Fri, 11 Oct 2013 11:08:14 +0000

Day14. This is getting no better. I really did think he did not care about me, it is really true they do want , what they can’t have.We had another night with discussions, he is angry angain. His Ego is hurt. That’s it. All i want is that he tell the hole world i’m his girlfriend and that he stop the internett dating game. He kind of think he will.I think he lie, it lies and lies.I told him again, that i knew thing, to protect myself,it is by moral, ok to check his computer and i have. And i use it now against him. It is not wise, but i don’t care anymore. Then i can only think of 1 thing, if he take me back now, it will only be cause he want to dump me in the most brutal and humuliating way he can think of. Why can’t i just run for my life, cause this is the end.

By: Bente

Bente — Thu, 10 Oct 2013 07:23:33 +0000

Dear Melanie

Your blog and your understandig of Narc have helped a lot, to understand,he do not care, he is not able to love, he do not feel like i do. He only fake to get what he wants.
Day 8. i went away with a friend for the weekend. He is “normal” and want a relationship with me. I like that.
Day 9. i have a good time.
Day 10.i feel bad
Day 11.i went to visit Narc,he was happy, we had a good time. He was also angry cause i had went away with my friend. Still he did not admit i was his girlfriend official. He want to be free to find his ideal girl. It’s not like that he says, but i know. He is on at least 20 different internetdatingsides for girls in other countries.He does not admit, tell me it is cause he is bored, just his fantasy part of brain.But he travel there to visit. He says not true, but i can prove, and i did. Not good, i knew that.
Day 12. i went home after spend time with him,i did a mistake.
Day 13. He is very angry, i don’t feel much. I try to negotiate with him. That we could remain friends and continue our business relationship.He do not want. He want it to be as it was. If not nothing. So conclusion is as it must be NO CONTACT only thing that work.Like every specialist on Narc says, it is true.He treaten to humiliate me on FB, i treaten back. I can’t see he has anything on me.
Day 13.I have to make a choice.

By: Melanie Tonia Evans

Melanie Tonia Evans — Fri, 04 Oct 2013 05:35:36 +0000

In reply to Luann.

Hi Luann,

anyone who is approaching relationships through unhealed wounds is going to ‘push / pull’…which is the unconscious trying to get something from someone else that has not been healed yet within self..

The only difference with narcs is they are malicious and have no conscience.

Ok so you are working NARP yeah? The pain of these wounds need to be shifted out – rather than you trying to analyse them and make ‘sense’ of them.

Then when they no longer ‘hurt’ you can keep working on your right to know and state your healthy needs, create boundaries and be emotionally authentic in your life.

When we start trusting ourselves to show up healthily and be safe in life, no matter what other people are doing, then it becomes safe to connect healthily and state boundaries healthily.

These old stories are old charges wounds that you can release and free yourself from Luann.

You can also release that hanging on to not forgiving yourself – by using the goal setting Module to forgive yourself and then clear all resistance.

Keep this as simple as possible and you will clear it all and be free from these old painful stories..which of course were real at the time, but do not have to keep your emotional energy imprisoned and in pain today.

Mel xo

By: Bente

Bente — Thu, 03 Oct 2013 08:01:19 +0000

Dear Melanie

Your blog and your understandig of Narc have helped a lot, to understand,he do not care, he is not able to love, he do not feel like i do. He only fake to get what he wants.

I have now after 5 yers with a Narc,cut of my addicted relationship.

Day 7 He contacted me, he is nice, i miss him. Then i think what does he want: a Narc always wan’t, what he can’t have,it is the perfect women,in his fantasy she is the ideal love, he get what he could not have, and then, the she he could not get is not perfect,he start thinking how can i get this not ideal love to go away. This is a circel a Narc can not stop. Next girl after me, will not get any thing else than i got. She will not have the love i did not get. No matter how beatiful,rich, sucsessfull, creative, nice, wonderfull, it is just a matter of time. Before the bad treatment start. And soon you will see hers dead eyes.
Day 7. My friends tell me they see light and life in my eyes. I am relaxed, no pain.

P.S English is not my language, i appolegies for any wrong spelling.

By: Bente

Bente — Thu, 03 Oct 2013 07:44:10 +0000

Replay to Luann.
Dear Luann, push and pull is not only a Narc thing, and you say you feel bad, on the other hand if you take it as criticicm and feel bad, Narc feel bad about critisism.