Debra, I hope you are still reading here. It is a few weeks later, but I stumbled across your post and it deeply touched me. I realize you don’t know me and I don’t know you, but I know your situation quite personally. Sure, our details are different between us, but the fundamental sameness is a horrific person who has so completely betrayed and changed us so much that it seems everything is impossible going forward. I know exactly that feeling, as nearly eight years after my devastation from one of these monsters, I still remain devastated, though I have learned a lot by going deep within myself (with Mel’s help) to find my true being, and this is what saved my life. Sometimes (here in this blog) I’ll say that Mel saved my life or a dear family member (the only one, it seemed who understood and offered me any love or even talking to me) saved my life, but ultimately it was me who did so, and by “going within.” I saved myself, like you can save yourself.

Debra, even as we do not know one another, I care about you. Without knowing you, my heart pours out to you warmth and even love, the sort of love that one human being has for another who is feeling hurt, damaged, betrayed as you so surely are. Within you is the real you and there are people in this world who want to help you find yourself again. We believe in you, that you can do this. We want you to know that the world includes good, loving people, and that you are a part of this community of humanity, other loving people who include you, as I do now. And yet, I’m simply a man, probably quite far away from you, and it isn’t likely we’ll ever meet. Why? I wish you well.

I am so glad you posted here, as it means you are reaching out. Please connect with others by continuing this. It is important you do so, as it indicates you DO care about yourself. I thought I didn’t care about myself after my narcissist’s (deliberate, made-just-for-me) nightmare she created, though with time and some healing (I’m not yet done healing) I realized it was brainwashing on her part to make it look like her horrific behavior was my fault (of course, it wasn’t) — just like your present “messed up” is largely due to someone else who actually wants to harm you, mostly to “cover his tracks.” Yes, you’ve suffered damage. In my aftermath, I felt (and even feel now sometimes) like I’m “down for a nine-count” (if the referee counts to ten and you don’t “get up,” the fight is over). So, please know that others are gently offering you a hand, to help you up, as we don’t want to hear “ten.” That’s what I mean by writing these words to you. You can get up.

Some of this healing ahead for you (which you’ll discover) is deep within yourself and nourishes you as it unfolds: you’ll find “going within” to be a spark that rekindles fires in your life, including a desire to care for yourself. I wish for you to discover this. There are people and programs here (especially NARP) which can help you do this. It is not easy to unravel what has happened, but it can be done and there is brightness, peace and an amazing rest-of-your-life ahead.

Again, I love you as one human being loves another, even as we have never met. We are birds of a feather and you do not have to take wing right now, you can simply be safe for a moment where you are (or get to someplace safe) and learn that others who have been through this want you to realize that yes, you have been changed…and you can — you WILL! — change yet again into an amazing human being, like a phoenix rising from ashes. Please explore what NARP is from Melanie. Ask her specific questions you have (right here: it is amazing…she answers us!). NARP can really offer life-altering changes for someone who experiences the sort of pain you are feeling.

I send you kindness through the universe right now, I hope you feel it. I wish you the very best.

So much love to you Kondwani,

and thank you for GETTING it!

Thrive on Brother!

Mel 🙏💞🦋

Hi Doug,

we are evolving and its exciting!

It’s great that you really “get it”.

Much Love

Mel 🙏💞🦋

Hi Mae,

you are very welcome.

Your freedom is in detachment Mae, n’s adore the attention of the confrontation – it feeds them.

Sending you powerful liberation, healing and freedom

Mel 🙏💞🦋

Hi Drew,

it’s awesome that you are claiming, feeling and releasing the energy of these triggers.

That is the way home.

Much Love to you

Mel 🙏💞🦋

It’s my pleasure Nick!

Thank you for your wise comment!

Mel 🙏💞🦋