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He sounds like a Dismissive Avoidant

I think that we should equally shift responsibility for such an imbalanced relationship. Without a victim, there would be no abuser and vice-versa. The main key to freedom is empowerment, and empowerment entails cutting off the victim-perpetrator mentality.

The person that consciously decides to stay in an abusive relationship while being miserable and confused is as defective as the narcissist himself and needs the same amount of healing as the narcissist.

In essence, we’re not talking about an abuser and a victim. Rather, we’re talking about two equally problematic individuals that are simply on opposite spectrums of delusion.

I felt this💔

I have been searching for the past year to find out what the hell I have gotten myself into. I have been married to a man who seems very charming and nice, cool and collective. He is a Christian and talks much about his love for the Lord. However, he does not want to work and care for me, himself, or the home. He is very lazy, keeps the house untidy and dirty. He talks a lot, plays a lot, and eats a lot. He procrastinates a great deal and just wastes my precious time in doing nothing of great importance. He is very stingy and uses the building of the house as the great excuse why he cannot do more. The truth is I feel that something is very wrong and that I am been taken for granted. I feel that I am been manipulated greatly for my money, energy, and other resources. He makes a lot of promises and very rarely fulfill them. He seems very ambitious and has gradiose dreams for our future, yet this is just a facade and I am left to wonder when will these dreams come to pass or am I the one to work to fulfill them for him? He bombards me daily with affections which to me is just too much and out of place many times. I need time alone to process things or to study. He will respect some of my boundaries, yet at another times he seems not to care and I loose my cool. I feel like he is wearing me out slowly and I just don’t know what to do and how to go about it. He bombards me for money for bus fares, to build our home, and for other things. Yet no matter how I tell him that I cannot meet up to the financial demands as I am the bread winner, he continues to make demands. When he is not able to be get his way, he somehow coverly takes and uses my personal femine stuffs or other sentimental things given to me. He never bought me a dress or even take me out for a nice dinner. I don’t want to loose him, yet I feel I cannot bear seeing myself being used and manipulated to expense of my nerve going frail. I have spoken to two of my family members and they are truly upset. I have also went to see a therapist once a few months ago, but because of lack of funding, I am unable to keep up with the appointments. I have been praying for God to help me out of this situation. I need to be happy. Yes, I got myself into this predicament, but I don’t have to pay dearly with my life. I am simply just tired. Thank you.

Hi Iris,

Please know Dear Lady it is agonising to try to get away and stay away when we have unconscious unhealed parts still trauma bonding us to these people.

I’d love you to try connecting to my inner transformational processes which can truly help you break free.

https://www.melanietoniaevans.com/freecourse

I hope this helps.

Mel 🙏💕❤️