This thing is not your usual stuff. It’s packed with smooth UX, next-level thinking, and just the right amount of designer madness.

Suspicious yet? Alright, go look right this moment!

Didn’t click? Fine. Imagine a caffeinated unicorn built a site after arguing with ChatGPT. That’s the vibe this beauty gives.

So hit it, and send it to your friends. Because honestly, this is worth it.

That’s it.

Hello Mel,
I have gone through narc abuse from my ex narc bf off and on for 2 years. In the beginning, i had no idea he was a narc. He took me out to dinner, showered me with compliments, told me he never had a woman like me that i had brains, i didn’t smoke, drink, or do drugs but he does all those things, and i didn’t run around from man to man. He knew practically all about me. He wasn’t a stranger to me cause i knew his family infact, his sister and i were friends. I knew his ex wife and kids. It’s kinda funny cause we were all once neighbors back in the day.
Back to my story, he and i live in the same apartment complex on the same floor and we are neighbors again. As i said, he one day asked me out. And i didn’t think too much of it cause i never imagined we would end up in a relationship. So i went out with him that one time. He began to move quickly in this thing. The request for sex came almost immediately, then the buying of his cigarettes, then buying food and cleaning his apartment, washing his clothes and transporting him around. After 3 months of this, it didn’t take me long to figure him out. He was always on Facebook like a predator, all the young girls, sex pictures and so on. Mind you, he is in very poor health. He is an aging Narc in his 60s. He has lost his looks, he is not an attractive man besides that, the sex was horrible .
He could not perform maybe long enough to get himself satisfied because i never was. He has a terrible sex addiction, a drinking addiction, a crack addiction and a weed addiction. He never apologized for anything, no feeling, never any remorse, no empathy, he didn’t show me any affection, no love, he spent no time with me and never showed any concern for my values, beliefs, morals or concerns. It was all about him. Getting his needs met. So, i was the one who always discarded him. I did this over a period of 2 years. I kept going back, time and time again, having to deal with his silent treatments and dissapearing acts, his hoovering and his mind games. It was very hard in my situation because he just lived 2 doors down from me as i said. I found myself not coming home after work, to avoid running into him. Get this, his mailbox is right next to mine. I’ve studied narcissism for over 2 years. I’ve researched, explored and read just about everything i can about this disorder. He told me about his childhood and i can see how he came to have NPD. He often times would tell me i remind him of his mother and to me that is an indication of the love he never got from her. A couple of months ago, i had all i could take. So i moved out of the building. I hope and pray to God, i never see or hear from him again or meet nobody else like him. I changed my number and he don’t know where i live or where i work. He was never involved with my kids or anybody i associated with I didn’t tell him i was moving but he often come knocking on my door which i don’t respond even though he knew i was home. I’m glad to be out if there, away from him and his flying monkeys who also live in the same floor as we did. Now I’m dealing with mental healing. True, I’ve physically moved myself away from my narc ex but the mental part is hard too. That’s why I’m seeing a Therapist. I know it will take time because i never knew there are people like this who existed in this world. And in closing, I’d advise anybody dealing with this kind of person to RUN!! As far as you can. These people never change because they don’t think there is anything wrong with them. And the way they live, is the way they die.
Oh, one last thing. They will tell you over and over again, you’re (Crazy) when you try to set boundaries with them especially when they can’t control you.

It felt like I didn’t exist, save to give her what she wanted. Pretty much just being used. My previous marriage lowered my tolerance for disrespect. I started fights and kept trying to break up. She always found a way to keep me there. (Was funny – on 2 occasions she threatened to leave me. “You’ll have to fight to keep me” she said. Both times I just agreed and said fine, I’m moving out. I’ve never seen someone change their mind so quickly. She was fighting hard to keep me!) As the devaluation started to increase, there were a couple of incidents that pushed me too far right as I was about to go overseas. I committed to breaking up with her permanently within 24 hours of returning home.

Her behaviour and responses after the break up, lack of willingness to accept responsibility, and the fact she was onto a new guy within 2 days (she told me all about it – he was probably on the hook a bit longer than I realised) lead me to look into NPD. The more I learn, the more the relationship makes sense. Like I can see the bigger picture now.

It lasted about 15 months. I’m lucky I got out early. I’ve learned what she is. She’s blocked nowfeom contact now (wouldn’t leave me alone). I accept that I also let it happen and ignored my gut for too long, and that I’m equally responsible. But it’s a horrible mixture of feelings. I thought she was amazing. I couldn’t believe I’d met her. Especially after a marriage from hell. Now I don’t know what to think. Cycle from angry about being lied to, to upset that I lost what I really wanted to be real, to just being plain confused. Developed a good relationship with her 7 year old too. The kid absolutely loved me. But that’s gone too. Can’t see the kid again without getting back involved with mum. Which can never happen. Kick in the guts, but on the bright side there’s no custody battle with an emotional vampire.

I’ll get there. I’m reorganised with a place to live. Now I need to re-engage with the world. Thanks for your website, it’s certainly helped.

Just wanted to get that off my chest whilst I’m coming to terms still.

I have broken up with my ex narc by 10 months ago due to psyhsical abuse and reported him to the police as well. I dont know what is happening to me i am so tired and depressed. I keep playing d words he used to tell me in my mind..i am good for nothing..noone wants me..if he leave me i will be alone..i am now believing what he told me as what he said has become a reality. I had an abusive childhood and in the beginning my ex said he would help and that i was the woman of his life. He even warned me that he was not nice to his previous gfs and said they might try to warn me about the way he acted with them and said that his relationship with me was totally different. He was not going to cheat like he did with the rest. Months and years went by and pages turned. I now became obsessed with him and i never trusted him and caught him sending msgs to women only for him threat he was going to leave and the thought of being on my own made me beg him to stay. He used to call me jealous ad broke up with me 4 times only to come back aftere me begging him to do so. He convinced me i was the wrong one and no matter how much i tried to change it just was never enough and he would leave again. I lost weight and lost myself every single time. Last march we went out and one of his exes tapped him on the back and he did not repl y or look at her so i told him she did that and he blamed me for being jealous so i walked away and he grabbed me by the throught and treathened me and i decided to break up so he promised i was going to pay and we started walking to my car when he hit me and made me take off my colds and swim in front of approx 100 people in d cold. He broke my theet and punched me in my head and legs numerous times. None of the onlookers came to help. I told him we were finished and he would not take it and said he was coming over to my appartment no matter what so he drove after me near bumper to bumper over to my house and i had to sleep with this person who tried to kill me. I could not sleep and called in sick the next day. He went to work and called me 30 times but i never picked up. In d evening i answered and told him to leave me alone i was so angry and he texted me saying this was all my fault for being jealous. I woke up d next day once again with that sick stomach feeling and decided to ask him to talk and fix things. I was so afraid of being lonely again. He came home and acted as if he was breaking up with me and deleted as usual all my pics from his fb and posted a pic saying he is now free. As always he added loads of women to his fb and 2 days after he was with someone new and he is still with her now. I did not file a police report since his mum begged me not to as he has a guarantee with court. He has a court case and will most prob serve 6 yrs in jail. I was going to wait for him!!!!! With this mind game of making me think he left me i felt lost again and alone and empty as if he took my soul with him. Later on we met in a club and he punched me so i filed in a police report but them decided to stick with the restraining order and dropped charges. He called several times with private number but after the court case this all stopped. I am now educating myself re psychopaths as his mum and my psychologist both said he is a psychopath and am shocked and lost. He was cheating on me and worst playing with my mind and i let him do this and worst of all i cant get him out of my mind. This time however i was strong and did not make any contact and removed fb and asked all not to speak to me about him. I am still in pain though and wish this could all pass. I hate my life

I know this is for the best. But I grieve a life I fought for – even at the detriment to my own self.. I lost the fantasy and my beloved dog too…
All I can see is the 2.4 happy family unit she’s now living in. It’s like the last 4 years didn’t exist. And although I have piece of mind and a sense of real calm within my life and self now… the pain is with me 24 hours a day.. give or take an hour or so of feeling normal, throughout the days.. it even shows in my dreams..
I have to believe this is part of the healing…?

Thanks for writing this. I truly appreciate it..

I know this is for the best. But I grieve a life I fought for – even at the detriment to my own self.. I lost the fantasy and my beloved dog too…
All I can see is the 2.4 happy family unit she’s now living in. It’s like the last 4 years didn’t exist. And although I have piece of mind and a sense of real calm within my life and self now… the pain is with me 24 hours a day.. give or take an hour or so of feeling normal, throughout the days.. it even shows in my dreams..
I have to believe this is part of the healing…?

Thanks for writing this. I truly appreciate it..

Just recently broke up with my ex-N boyfriend about a week ago. We were only together 9 months but that was enough for me to fall so deeply due to a lot of ‘future -faking” etc. He started giving me silent treatments for small fights which were mostly ones I had to accept the blame for for peace, and would say things like “I will give you something to cry about” and punish me by leaving or just ignoring my presence without ever discussing the issue at hand even when he came back. Sometimes he would just use the silent treatment for days to stir emotions I am now realizing. At first I would blame this behavior on his recovery from alcoholism and his physically demanding job and therapy sessions. I had been very supportive and would always blame those tough times on why he was acting the way he was or treating/speaking to me the way he was. I always believed he would get better…until I googled “silent treatment” after experiencing it every month for about 5 months and realizing I could fully check off every checklist on narcissistic behavior. In doing my own research I also realized, due to my father being an N as well, I have a codependency disorder.

Realizing this helped but also makes me feel a lot of guilt despite knowing that nothing would change since you cant really change narcissist behavior.
I am writing because I have a ton going for me, I have a loving mother who I watched work so hard and come home to a very volatile angry person for 30 years but I still reached out to him to try to win him back. Of course he placed all the blame on me saying “You broke up with me and these are your consequences” “You you you…” even throwing things in there that weren’t true. I still begged for another chance and asked him to go to therapy with me in hopes we could work as a team. Of course, even though he baited me by telling me he loved me still and started guilt tripping me he refused to even grab coffee next week. I KNOW THIS IS A BLESSING! I KNOW THIS IS HIM REJECTING ME JUST FOR AN EGO BOOST! Due to the guilt I am feeling we peacefully parting ways (of course with him telling me that the next guy will be better than him, so I could tell him otherwise) I told him that I respect his decision and that I will not block his number in case he decides he needs to talk etc. I know this was a bad idea but at the time, I just felt that I loved this man and couldn’t walk out again due to guilt. I know I left him because it was getting extremely bad and I had to because I was losing myself but I am still feeling extreme guilt. Should I block his number anyway? Despite that I told him I wouldn’t? I just know if I hear back from him it probably will not be pretty but I hate that I told him I would be there just to disappear again. It makes me feel like the N. And the guilt is unbearable right now.

I joined a dating site and today deactivated it because I know I have to rebuild myself before putting all my happiness into another individual yet again. My family has never really believed in therapy or drugs but I know I am codependent and would like to do my own fixing. I want to break the cycle and no longer be attracted to narcissists. How would one go about doing that on their own? It is just scary how these tough paralyzing days can creep up on you. Reading these posts are the only thing that made me feel like I am not alone on this. Thanks to everyone for sharing their stories.

Sandra from May 25, 2012,

I am currently going through a similar situation only my narc is still alive and in the beginning stages of treatment and he believes he’s dying. First of all, the relationship itself is obviously a mess and I want to leave. This article has helped me and I will be following these steps. However, now I feel awful because he’s dying and making statements like “I’m tired of being alone in this. I’m depressed. You aren’t here for me.” I am currently a single mom and have no time for friends so when I make plans when my kids dad has them with anyone other than him, he flies all over me about it and plays guilt trips and blame. I can’t stand this anymore but I don’t know how to act around him or what to say because now he has cancer. I will feel horrible if I leave him now. He has no job, no home anymore. I have been supporting him (along with my kids). Then again, I already feel miserable when I AM around him. Please reach out to me if you get this. I need someone to talk to about this. Thank you!