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	Comments on: Why Most Boundaries Don’t Hold Up	</title>
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	<description>Devastated by a narcissist? Melanie&#039;s Narcissism blog offers support &#38; empowering tools to heal &#38; thrive after narcissistic abuse, gain a new life &#38; fulfilling relationships.</description>
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		<title>
		By: Janet		</title>
		<link>https://blog.melanietoniaevans.com/why-most-boundaries-dont-hold-up/#comment-1232885</link>

		<dc:creator><![CDATA[Janet]]></dc:creator>
		<pubDate>Tue, 25 Feb 2020 23:19:25 +0000</pubDate>
		<guid isPermaLink="false">https://blog.melanietoniaevans.com/?p=1305#comment-1232885</guid>

					<description><![CDATA[In reply to &lt;a href=&quot;https://blog.melanietoniaevans.com/why-most-boundaries-dont-hold-up/#comment-34911&quot;&gt;Dawn chandler&lt;/a&gt;.

Because your ex&#039;s parents are narcissistic as well. Its generational and he played the game to survive them in childhood, and learned to overcome it by becoming one.]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>In reply to <a href="https://blog.melanietoniaevans.com/why-most-boundaries-dont-hold-up/#comment-34911">Dawn chandler</a>.</p>
<p>Because your ex&#8217;s parents are narcissistic as well. Its generational and he played the game to survive them in childhood, and learned to overcome it by becoming one.</p>
]]></content:encoded>
		
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		<title>
		By: Corey		</title>
		<link>https://blog.melanietoniaevans.com/why-most-boundaries-dont-hold-up/#comment-553841</link>

		<dc:creator><![CDATA[Corey]]></dc:creator>
		<pubDate>Thu, 27 Nov 2014 00:44:51 +0000</pubDate>
		<guid isPermaLink="false">https://blog.melanietoniaevans.com/?p=1305#comment-553841</guid>

					<description><![CDATA[Really well written article. I am learning about this now, how to set healthy boundaries at the ripe age of 45... But I wonder about this part, with so many people moving on when someone doesn&#039;t respect our boundaries, who is left. It seems like this is an epidemic of our times. I agree one has to create healthy boundaries but is walking away really the final answer or can we find a way to transcend this human condition? We are not victims, we have the power to choose our experiences. I just wonder who is left then, the pond gets smaller and smaller in terms of relationships. It seems this is a common theme in human relationships. It&#039;s a human rite of passage to deal with people who test our boundaries. I want to be effective but I wonder how many times do we need to clear and walk away and one can still draw these circumstances in because it&#039;s human nature. What do you have to say for this perspective? I&#039;m curious. THANKYOU for your great writing.]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>Really well written article. I am learning about this now, how to set healthy boundaries at the ripe age of 45&#8230; But I wonder about this part, with so many people moving on when someone doesn&#8217;t respect our boundaries, who is left. It seems like this is an epidemic of our times. I agree one has to create healthy boundaries but is walking away really the final answer or can we find a way to transcend this human condition? We are not victims, we have the power to choose our experiences. I just wonder who is left then, the pond gets smaller and smaller in terms of relationships. It seems this is a common theme in human relationships. It&#8217;s a human rite of passage to deal with people who test our boundaries. I want to be effective but I wonder how many times do we need to clear and walk away and one can still draw these circumstances in because it&#8217;s human nature. What do you have to say for this perspective? I&#8217;m curious. THANKYOU for your great writing.</p>
]]></content:encoded>
		
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		<item>
		<title>
		By: Manifestation Miracle Free Ebook		</title>
		<link>https://blog.melanietoniaevans.com/why-most-boundaries-dont-hold-up/#comment-193021</link>

		<dc:creator><![CDATA[Manifestation Miracle Free Ebook]]></dc:creator>
		<pubDate>Fri, 13 Dec 2013 09:56:12 +0000</pubDate>
		<guid isPermaLink="false">https://blog.melanietoniaevans.com/?p=1305#comment-193021</guid>

					<description><![CDATA[Thiѕ test is not the be-all end-all for aгtificіal intelligent self-awareness, but 
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			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>Thiѕ test is not the be-all end-all for aгtificіal intelligent self-awareness, but<br />
it іs a darn good staгt, аnd ԛuite interеsting when you really stop to think abοut.</p>
<p>Reducing the clutter means stopping long enough to<br />
really focus on the other person аnd their needs. This will рrovide a record of the subconscious, and will offer<br />
plenty of material for thought and resеarch.</p>
]]></content:encoded>
		
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		By: cruise control diet pdf		</title>
		<link>https://blog.melanietoniaevans.com/why-most-boundaries-dont-hold-up/#comment-192850</link>

		<dc:creator><![CDATA[cruise control diet pdf]]></dc:creator>
		<pubDate>Fri, 13 Dec 2013 06:45:29 +0000</pubDate>
		<guid isPermaLink="false">https://blog.melanietoniaevans.com/?p=1305#comment-192850</guid>

					<description><![CDATA[Good daу! I know this is kind of off topic but I was 
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I&#039;m getting tired of Wordpress beсause I&#039;ve hаd problems with hackers and I&#039;m lоoking at options for another platform.

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			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>Good daу! I know this is kind of off topic but I was<br />
wondering ωhich blog platform are you using for this website?</p>
<p>I&#8217;m getting tired of WordPress beсause I&#8217;ve hаd problems with hackers and I&#8217;m lоoking at options for another platform.</p>
<p>I would be awesome if yоu could point me in the<br />
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		By: factor quema grasa download		</title>
		<link>https://blog.melanietoniaevans.com/why-most-boundaries-dont-hold-up/#comment-187476</link>

		<dc:creator><![CDATA[factor quema grasa download]]></dc:creator>
		<pubDate>Tue, 10 Dec 2013 04:19:11 +0000</pubDate>
		<guid isPermaLink="false">https://blog.melanietoniaevans.com/?p=1305#comment-187476</guid>

					<description><![CDATA[Your calorie intake goes hand in hand with your 
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			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>Your calorie intake goes hand in hand with your<br />
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		By: 2013 Cadillac Escalade		</title>
		<link>https://blog.melanietoniaevans.com/why-most-boundaries-dont-hold-up/#comment-118446</link>

		<dc:creator><![CDATA[2013 Cadillac Escalade]]></dc:creator>
		<pubDate>Fri, 11 Oct 2013 11:06:33 +0000</pubDate>
		<guid isPermaLink="false">https://blog.melanietoniaevans.com/?p=1305#comment-118446</guid>

					<description><![CDATA[I don&#039;t even know how I ended up here, but I thought 
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			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>I don&#8217;t even know how I ended up here, but I thought<br />
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		<item>
		<title>
		By: Roberto		</title>
		<link>https://blog.melanietoniaevans.com/why-most-boundaries-dont-hold-up/#comment-68269</link>

		<dc:creator><![CDATA[Roberto]]></dc:creator>
		<pubDate>Fri, 09 Aug 2013 02:29:27 +0000</pubDate>
		<guid isPermaLink="false">https://blog.melanietoniaevans.com/?p=1305#comment-68269</guid>

					<description><![CDATA[You&#039;re so interesting! I don&#039;t think I&#039;ve read through something like that before. So nice to discover another person with genuine thoughts on this topic. Really.. thank you for starting this up. This site is one thing that is required on the web, someone with a little originality!]]></description>
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		By: Angelika		</title>
		<link>https://blog.melanietoniaevans.com/why-most-boundaries-dont-hold-up/#comment-56087</link>

		<dc:creator><![CDATA[Angelika]]></dc:creator>
		<pubDate>Sat, 22 Jun 2013 05:35:41 +0000</pubDate>
		<guid isPermaLink="false">https://blog.melanietoniaevans.com/?p=1305#comment-56087</guid>

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			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>I&#8217;ve read a few just right stuff here. Certainly value bookmarking for revisiting. I surprise how a lot attempt you place to create this type of great informative website.</p>
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]]></content:encoded>
		
			</item>
		<item>
		<title>
		By: DeDe		</title>
		<link>https://blog.melanietoniaevans.com/why-most-boundaries-dont-hold-up/#comment-38083</link>

		<dc:creator><![CDATA[DeDe]]></dc:creator>
		<pubDate>Sun, 24 Feb 2013 21:16:13 +0000</pubDate>
		<guid isPermaLink="false">https://blog.melanietoniaevans.com/?p=1305#comment-38083</guid>

					<description><![CDATA[In reply to &lt;a href=&quot;https://blog.melanietoniaevans.com/why-most-boundaries-dont-hold-up/#comment-34910&quot;&gt;Lorianne&lt;/a&gt;.

Lorianne, 
My b/f intentionally starts fights with me to cause high drama (lots of neurochemicals are released) and then immediately dismisses the original conflict to how much he loves me, how I&#039;m the only one for him, his dream come true, how he&#039;s so in love with me, etc.  Because I crave these words, and want them so badly to be true, we move on from the issue - not having any resolution.  He also continues making promises to me but then refuses to follow-through.  When I call attention to this - he&#039;ll say he was about to do it, is doing it later, or makes up some crazy story as to why it can&#039;t happen (he&#039;s lost his keys) etc.  It&#039;s absolutely crazy making.  I&#039;ve also realized that when I&#039;m worked up it&#039;s easier for me to give in to him and not uphold my boundaries.  It&#039;s in the action as opposed to having the time to think about it and make a rational decision about it.  I&#039;m getting better at not becoming as emotional, because I now expect it.  However, I&#039;m still struggling at not being able to stay true to myself, my needs, my wants and then I get upset with myself afterwards for giving in.  I think I&#039;m using him as a way to punish myself.  I know it&#039;s all related to childhood and I&#039;ve done decades of therapy, EMDR, Somatic Experiencing, and now I&#039;m starting this program.  When do these engrained behaviors stop???  I feel like I&#039;m auto pilot.  It&#039;s so toxic and I don&#039;t want to be part of it, yet I crave it!]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>In reply to <a href="https://blog.melanietoniaevans.com/why-most-boundaries-dont-hold-up/#comment-34910">Lorianne</a>.</p>
<p>Lorianne,<br />
My b/f intentionally starts fights with me to cause high drama (lots of neurochemicals are released) and then immediately dismisses the original conflict to how much he loves me, how I&#8217;m the only one for him, his dream come true, how he&#8217;s so in love with me, etc.  Because I crave these words, and want them so badly to be true, we move on from the issue &#8211; not having any resolution.  He also continues making promises to me but then refuses to follow-through.  When I call attention to this &#8211; he&#8217;ll say he was about to do it, is doing it later, or makes up some crazy story as to why it can&#8217;t happen (he&#8217;s lost his keys) etc.  It&#8217;s absolutely crazy making.  I&#8217;ve also realized that when I&#8217;m worked up it&#8217;s easier for me to give in to him and not uphold my boundaries.  It&#8217;s in the action as opposed to having the time to think about it and make a rational decision about it.  I&#8217;m getting better at not becoming as emotional, because I now expect it.  However, I&#8217;m still struggling at not being able to stay true to myself, my needs, my wants and then I get upset with myself afterwards for giving in.  I think I&#8217;m using him as a way to punish myself.  I know it&#8217;s all related to childhood and I&#8217;ve done decades of therapy, EMDR, Somatic Experiencing, and now I&#8217;m starting this program.  When do these engrained behaviors stop???  I feel like I&#8217;m auto pilot.  It&#8217;s so toxic and I don&#8217;t want to be part of it, yet I crave it!</p>
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