Asha, your words really did it for me. Thank you! 🙂
I was also told by family that the universe only gives us what we can handle.
I am finally breaking up (trying to) with the narc, only issue is he refuses to leave my flat (he’s not on the lease nor is he paying rent…) and will not leave me alone. I need to keep up the inner work.

This is why I asked if your work could help me heal – because maybe not all Narcissists are the same… some are just damaged souls hurting so badly inside that they don’t see what they are doing… but once they are made to see… they truly want to change.

I am going to do NARP. I am not working right now so I can’t do the program yet but I will do everything else. And I love my husband. I destroyed my marriage and his life, and he is in so much pain from what this illness did to him. I bought your book and I’m going to give it to him. I owe him that.

Thank you for all that you do.

Hi Brenda,

yes absolutely releasing and reprogramming the trauma is the answer which is the NARP program http://www.melanietonyevans.com/narp

In my other reply to you I have granted you the link to my webinar which can explain more about this.

Big hugs and please know that there is more than hope for you

Mel 🙏💕💛

Hi B,

Please know that I don’t believe that you are a narcissist at all, in fact, you wouldn’t even be asking these questions if you were. Please check out this resource of mind that may help you get clear https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aa75ynfu4WI

B, I would really like you to come into my free webinar http://www.melanietoniaevans.com/free webinar to learn more about this and how I can help you heal.

I am so glad that you did come forward to ask, and I promise you that there is a solution and healing available for you and your life.

Much love to you

Mel 🙏💕💛

Is it possible for me to heal doing the SAME things you tell those who are recovering? Is there hope? I am now AWARE of what I was doing to my loved one. I would do ANYTHING for him and I hate what I have done. I hate seeing him in so much pain! I hate that it has ruined our family and our lives!! CAN I GO INSIDE MYSELF TOO and heal??? Like you are saying to others… isn’t it possible that I silence the OUTSIDE? I am learning now that I have never loved myself. I kill myself to show love to others but never myself. And when it depletes me, I resented my ex for not making me feel loved. I never saw how much weight this put on him. I feel so worthless. It is like seeing your whole life wiped out and being helpless to do anything about it. Not all Narcissists are the same!!! My husband left 6 years ago and I am still in pain and hoping I can find a way to heal so he will come home. I never smeared him – but actually the opposite – wouldn’t let my family or friends blame him when he left. I have done nothing but defend him. I never tried to take our daughter from him. I do exhibit a lot of the traits that hurt him when I didn’t know it. But I would never hurt him intentionally.

Please consider my question – is it possible that some of the same “healing” you recommend could help me?

I have been reading all I can about Narcissism and I am scared to death!!! Am I really a monster like everyone says??? My view on my life was that I worked very hard to be successful at work so we could pay the bills – everyone said I tried too hard to be the best mom I could – but she was my miracle that I had prayed for every day for 13 years!! I took in stray animals and cared for them even when it stretched us to the limit!! I won’t let down family and try to always be there for them when they need me – My mom died of cancer 4 years ago and I was there to hold her up as she fought to breath for 8 days before she finally passed!! I am the one who holds my family together (parents and brothers)!! I plan all the birthdays and events to ensure my brothers show up! I try so hard!!! I love my family and I just want everyone to be happy!!!

But someone once told me that I do so much for everyone else but I expect others do the same and get upset when they don’t. I am constantly telling my friends and loved ones how they should do things (I am just now learning about “boundaries”) but in my eyes -it isn’t because I think I am better than them it is because I CARE and don’t want them hurt by something I learned myself! Now I see that a Narcissist view of that would be that I DO THINK I AM BETTER. And it sickens me.

HELP ME!!! I am not a monster!!! I CARE deeply for others and for animals and for the planet to an extreme such that I worry all the time about one thing or the other!!! (Anxiety) This then leads to me feeling hopeless at times (Depression). NOW I have to learn that I was also a NARCISSIST!??? And read all these horrible things about them like they are ANIMALS without feelings and they eat people up and throw them away?? YES… I do see now that I never found it easy to apologize… that my feelings were always so hurt, I couldn’t. I always felt like I knew what I was saying was right… I wasn’t overtly cruel… I never would be. BUT i see now that I was “covertly” was!! God I am so ashamed!!! (The medical term is “introvert” or “fragile” but the world has turned it into “covertly” like we still do it on purpose!!) I had no idea!!

I DON’T WANT TO BE A MONSTER!!! I do think I am a Narcissist. Does that mean I was never a good person?? Does that mean my self image was a total lie? Was my whole life worthless? Since no one believes Narcissists can heal or change, and now that I know… should I just give up on life because I certainly don’t want to hurt anyone else? And I will live in pain for the rest of my life because I will always love my ex and if everything you say is true – I must leave him alone to heal himself – even though I know he is hurting too. We met when we were 16 and 19. We had so many joys and so many hard times too that we survived together. Do I just give up???

I sincerely need your help. This is the first site I felt like I could ask. Please help me.

B

Hi Sara,

are you working with NARP http://www.melanietoniaevans.com/narp ?

For many of us (myself included) it wasn’t until using powerful tools that trauma was able to be released and reprogrammed for real.

If you are working with NARP please come into the NARP Members forum, where we can help you breakthrough http://www.melanietoniaevans.com/member

If you are not yet on NARP you can learn more about it, in my free webinar http://www.melanietoniaevans.com/freewebinar

I hope this helps.

Mel 🙏💕💛

I have finally figured out that I was raised by a narc father and an enabling mother and my siblings have all been his puppets. I thankfully have been able to move away from my family but my narc father sends my flying monkey siblings, relatives, & friends after me to torture me. I have not seen my family in years and have minimal contact with everyone which is only through email. I have been doing my inner work to heal myself but when will I be rid of this abuse? It comes in cycles my dad’s abuse patterns and right now I’m at the start of one where he just sends everyone after me while he & my mom play the victims saying I don’t talk to them any more. I don’t go out of my way to talk to them, I’ve changed the way I talk to them and my family as I’ve gone grey rock and they are all freaking out b/c I do not share personal details of my life with them any more. I’m having a bad day and I feel overwhelmed. I want this abuse to end and want them to stop coming after me.