Comments on: 10 Ways We Can Self-Avoid https://blog.melanietoniaevans.com/10-ways-we-can-self-avoid/ Devastated by a narcissist? Melanie's Narcissism blog offers support & empowering tools to heal & thrive after narcissistic abuse, gain a new life & fulfilling relationships. Tue, 08 Oct 2024 20:33:09 +0000 hourly 1 By: Luke Shepherd https://blog.melanietoniaevans.com/10-ways-we-can-self-avoid/#comment-1271071 Fri, 15 Jul 2022 08:40:54 +0000 https://blog.melanietoniaevans.com/?p=2679#comment-1271071 I am not sure that all computer games are bad. Maybe video games are a distraction, but text-based role-playing games are a bit like creative writing; at least for me they are a way to develop my creative writing skills again, but I agree with the general thrust of the article and found it very helpful.

]]> By: Marty Smith https://blog.melanietoniaevans.com/10-ways-we-can-self-avoid/#comment-1210715 Mon, 07 Oct 2019 15:33:03 +0000 https://blog.melanietoniaevans.com/?p=2679#comment-1210715 In reply to Future Thriver.

I so agree with you!

]]> By: Marty Smith https://blog.melanietoniaevans.com/10-ways-we-can-self-avoid/#comment-1210714 Mon, 07 Oct 2019 15:23:11 +0000 https://blog.melanietoniaevans.com/?p=2679#comment-1210714 Unbeknownst to me, I did heal from the narcissistic abuse imposed upon me by a family member (s). I am healed now and did get on with my life and I am thriving. I healed the inner child myself by the wounds surfacing and me facing reality. Again, all of this was unbeknownst to me. I took my power back. I now walk and live in the truth. Since I healed my own inner wounds and walk in the truth, I feel like I have on a bullet proof vest and no one can get at me anymore not even a narcissist. I’ll spot them at a distance.

]]> By: Peace https://blog.melanietoniaevans.com/10-ways-we-can-self-avoid/#comment-1178769 Mon, 10 Jun 2019 16:29:12 +0000 https://blog.melanietoniaevans.com/?p=2679#comment-1178769 A wonderful song that captures this “wake up call” and our taking responsibility is “Shake It Out” by Florence + The Machine.

]]> By: Future Thriver https://blog.melanietoniaevans.com/10-ways-we-can-self-avoid/#comment-1114516 Thu, 06 Dec 2018 21:33:48 +0000 https://blog.melanietoniaevans.com/?p=2679#comment-1114516 Hi Mel. Once again an enlightening article!

I cannot believe that we have all literally been doing life by default, and it is really sad that we only feel the need to self-partner when we’re experiencing trauma!

Just a comment– isnt it weird how self-avoidance strategies are deemed as ‘cool’. Its ‘cool’ to always be surrounded by people, it’s ‘cool’ to have material things, it’s ‘cool’ to wear a mask (be humourous), it’s ‘cool’ to be in relationships etc.

Our culture is seriously not structured in ways that support self-partnering. It’s no wonder the world is running on ego and people are hurting. This is life and it’s shocking!

🌼🌸🌹⚘ Thanks for all you do, Mel! I am finally conscious and awaken

]]> By: Melanie Tonia Evans https://blog.melanietoniaevans.com/10-ways-we-can-self-avoid/#comment-992835 Mon, 29 Jan 2018 03:17:12 +0000 https://blog.melanietoniaevans.com/?p=2679#comment-992835 In reply to Kathy Black.

Hi Kathy,

it really is so about showing up as you and letting go of the trauma of her behaviour. If you have your husband’s support then you may want to tell her honestly how you feel and what you would like from her.

If she can’t and won’t respect that, then it may be time for Modified or No Contact – because it is your and your family’s health that is vital.

This video may also help: https://blog.melanietoniaevans.com/what-if-the-narcissist-is-a-family-member/

Mel xo

]]> By: Kathy Black https://blog.melanietoniaevans.com/10-ways-we-can-self-avoid/#comment-991654 Fri, 26 Jan 2018 11:34:25 +0000 https://blog.melanietoniaevans.com/?p=2679#comment-991654 Hi Melanie

Thanks for your articles, always enlightening.

My mum in law I think has narcissistic traits. She remembers being abandoned as a baby. Her mum was a perfectionist, as is she. I have been with my hubby for ten years now and have always felt undermined. On a holiday last year, she admired she didn’t want her son to marry me, older, with a child plus my history.

We now have a gorgeous son through IVF . She told a friend that she doesn’t accept me or my daughter and only accepts her son and grandson. She is determined to be top dog and she will “win”

We are moving so that hubby can keep an eye, she is nearly 80.

I’ve told him that she’s not staying with us, and needs separate accommodation.

How do I do minimal contact, there are some times when I need to see her, what are the coping strategies for this?

I know I need to connect more to my inner self.

Best wishes

Kathy

]]> By: Karen https://blog.melanietoniaevans.com/10-ways-we-can-self-avoid/#comment-657225 Sat, 05 Mar 2016 21:32:10 +0000 https://blog.melanietoniaevans.com/?p=2679#comment-657225 In reply to A Hope.

A Hope,
Yes, baby steps. I too am on my way to thriving after childhood trauma, and it wasn’t until starting this journey of up leveling almost a year ago that I truly began to understand what happened. A Hope, the seeds we are sowing through our inner work is manifesting a beautiful outer life.

]]> By: Karen https://blog.melanietoniaevans.com/10-ways-we-can-self-avoid/#comment-657186 Fri, 04 Mar 2016 19:33:24 +0000 https://blog.melanietoniaevans.com/?p=2679#comment-657186 This information truly helped me yesterday. The painful feelings of resentment and anger resurfaced. This time the triggers led me to truth instead of blame. What was I doing to contribute to these feelings? Trust me thus is HUGE. I went back to Module 6, and really worked through it realizing that I was still stuck in the drama of self-avoiding, not trusting what I feel and taking responsibility for others well-being disproportionately to my own. Thanks for this loving and informative article.
Much Love,
Karen

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