Comments on: 4 Signs You Are Healing From Narcissistic Abuse

By: Casey

Casey — Thu, 24 Nov 2022 23:37:00 +0000

Hi Melanie,
I actually signed up for NARP about 2 years ago, not long after I had found out my husband was an actual narcissist of the worst kind. He is textbook. I have been 2 years out and it has been the divorce from hell. Once the facade came crumbling down, the monster emerged. He dragged me through the courts with bogus lies and manipulation…all designed to break me in every way possible. I quickly realized that his ultimate goal was to destroy me completely. The same woman who was the loving, kind, nurturing, dedicated mother of his two children. He wanted nothing more than to see me destitute, broke, depleted entirely of my life force, crush my spirit. His pathology has kept me locked inside my mind of dreadful fears, anxiety and hopelessness. His power is fueled through my buy-in to his narrative. I have never in my life experienced this kind of trauma and I often tell people that the betrayal/multiple affairs and emotional neglect had become the very least of the pain he caused me. That’s the small stuff. Trying to absolutely destroy my sanity is far greater. I would awaken every single day with the terrifying knowledge that a very calculated, strategic and deviant manipulative person wanted nothing more than to cause my downfall. His treatment of me, the defamation and cruel slander was beyond belief. Once the mask came off, he no longer had to pretend and what I saw was very, very toxic and dark. Over these past 2 years, I have tried to put band-aids on my pain. I didn’t want to face the torturous truth of my situation. Instead, I spent my days avoiding the work, hoping that someone would show up and rescue me or that my ex would just go away and disappear. I mean, I was a good person right…and as such, I would obviously win the spiritual war I found myself in. Not so. That hasn’t happened and at times, I find myself more broken than ever. I have now reached my final point of desperation. That moment when you find yourself sitting on the floor of your room begging for some relief. For anything. I just want the stress and helplessness to evaporate. I have, through all this pain, come to the conclusion that there is only one way that will happen for me. I concede and surrender. I forgive and release. I love myself and I do the work to let go. I commit to giving myself the gift of healing and the gift of self-love. Sadly, there are no shortcuts. no magic wand or pixie dust. So, I went back into my inbox and found the NARP links and here I am…ready to begin again. For the first time in a long time, I feel less defeated. I will rise up. I will thrive.
Someone recently told me that God only gives the heaviest burdens to those who can carry them…and that our own suffering is designed to prepare us so as to channel these difficult life experiences into something good. In time, I will do just that but for now, I am going to go inward and spend a little time nurturing and absolutely adoring myself. Thank you for your insightful knowledge and commitment to the cause. You are indeed a light worker.

By: Melanie Tonia Evans

Melanie Tonia Evans — Wed, 21 Sep 2022 06:10:21 +0000

In reply to Man from California.

You are so very kind, Man from California,

Please know how welcome you are and how thankful I am for you.

Mel 🙏💞🦋

By: Man from California

Man from California — Mon, 19 Sep 2022 23:48:25 +0000

It’s true that Melanie has top-notch writing skills that convey these very difficult concepts and harsh realities into clear, understandable concepts that make sense and give us a smile as we absorb these truths. Her writings (including her quick, personal and truly heartfelt replies) are accessible, clear, wonderfully humorous at times (I think this is a delightful “respite” given why we share here) and really “hit home” with accuracy. She also has the patience of a saint! Her encouragement is like an enveloping blanket of healing, which, for me, spurs me to continue into my thriver-hood. I couldn’t ask for more; thank you , Melanie.

By: Melanie Tonia Evans

Melanie Tonia Evans — Mon, 19 Sep 2022 01:55:04 +0000

In reply to Andrea Smith.

Hi Andrea,

I am so pleased that I have been able to help you heal, and you have so courageously done the beautiful inner work!

It’s an absolute joy to share this journey with you Andrea.

Sending you so much love and continued blessings.

Mel 🙏💞🦋

By: Andrea Smith

Andrea Smith — Sun, 18 Sep 2022 15:23:28 +0000

Dear Melanie, you made your pain a gift of healing for us all. Your experience, your healing process and your teachings have been an indescribable source for me to understand, go through and now beyond my trauma. I can only wholeheartedly agree with Donna, the first person who left a comment that your style of writing and talking makes the topic crystal clear! I am so grateful for your guidance to get out of my personal mess and suffering. You and your work are uplifting beyond words 🙂 In deep gratitude, Andrea

By: Melanie Tonia Evans

Melanie Tonia Evans — Wed, 14 Sep 2022 05:25:02 +0000

In reply to Kristina Parker.

Hi Kristina,

I am so thrilled for your hard-earned breakthroughs.

It’s beautiful that now you are shifting out of the trauma load internally that you are healing.

Well done for having the courage to do so

Mel 🙏💞🦋

By: Melanie Tonia Evans

Melanie Tonia Evans — Wed, 14 Sep 2022 05:23:27 +0000

In reply to Nina.

Hi Nina,

you are 100% correct!

It’s the Inner Healing that changes your Being, and then how you are “being” to yourself completley, as well as what you will and wont accept from other Beings!

Mel 🙏💞🦋

By: Kristina Parker

Kristina Parker — Tue, 13 Sep 2022 17:01:52 +0000

I did the NARP course and it does require continued work. I was diagnosed with two separate cancers back to back last year. I’m finally getting better- Thank you Mel for your guidance. This is one of the hardest “life paths “ I have ever chosen. I’m grateful for lessons I have been learning.

By: Nina

Nina — Tue, 13 Sep 2022 05:11:35 +0000

Hi Mel,
Great post thank you makes a lot made sense to me. I wanted to ask when you have stated ‘the way others treat us is the way we ourselves treat ourselves’ – does this mean the way we have internalized and accepted bad behavior, abuse, painful experiences and the way in which we absorb that as children or young adults and we minimalize our feelings because self-blame is so part of the norm coming from childhood trauma, is this what you are saying or I am totally off the mark? I know that people, experiences mirror what patterns we need to heal but I am starting to realize and come to terms with how trauma is about these patterns, toxic attachments, etc and how abuse gets reenacted. I realize thinking is not the way as knowing only comes from a healed state so you are totally on track lady.