Comments on: 5 Signs The Narcissist Is Cheating On You

By: HEATHER OWEN

HEATHER OWEN — Fri, 17 Dec 2021 13:19:58 +0000

We’ve been married since I was 19 and ‘m now in my seventies and have a neurological disease which makes walking painful and difficult. I also know I am co-dependent. Having told myself years ago I was strong enough to cope with my husband’s long term affairs (he never tried to hide them – just told me I was the most important thing in his life and that his other relationships had no bearing on ours). Anyway I’m going to do Melanie’s course and must get out as I’ve taken as much as I can (and yes there’s a new, sparky and of course younger woman around, and he barely even speaks to me now, is lost in his own world. It’s so true that they get worse as they get older.
No idea how I will cope financially because he will absolutely won’t help, and even just being alone scares me sick, but we only have one life and I would like to try to enjoy the time I have left without this constant ache in my heart. Wish me luck!

By: Cheryl

Cheryl — Mon, 25 Oct 2021 08:30:27 +0000

I heard at his wake by his BF that he always did alright with the ladies, the trips he spoke of were taken while I was married and got extravagant gifts on his return. Always be wary of men offering gifts!

By: Dhiysf

Dhiysf — Sun, 24 Oct 2021 17:50:09 +0000

The narcissist wasn’t suspicious of cheating, because he was so self involved he couldn’t careless about the going ons of me or anyone else often assuming he was the most important, victimized, deserving, etc. If he ever did notice his surroundings or others (besides a scantily clad female), I’d be surprised!

By: Julia

Julia — Fri, 20 Aug 2021 20:33:32 +0000

I have not been in a romantic relationship with a Narc for some time now but I DO remember what it was like. One particular scenario stands out. We usually went to a specific restaurant/bar on Friday nights after work. Since we both had come straight from work we were driving separate cars. On the drive home he would often just disappear and show up the following afternoon with some cooked up story. Sometimes he would tell me he ran out of gas, sometimes a flat tire etc etc. It was horrible.

By: Bec

Bec — Wed, 18 Aug 2021 12:06:06 +0000

I think you left out a sign which is that they’re mega-protective of their phone. My ex would lock his in his car, was totally unwilling to let me borrow it if I had a flat battery or something and if he did let me, would hover the whole time to make sure I didn’t look at anything. Would be on his laptop in bed and close the screen when I came in, or on his phone and turn it so I couldn’t see it. It made me so suspicious that I watched him put his password in and used his drunken stupours to take it and read it a couple of times and sure enough- messages to other women. Not necessarily cheating, but flirting. Then the second time I looked he’d gone through and deleted messages – obviously in case they were seen, which made me wonder what else he’d deleted. When I confronted him about it he called me the thought police as though they were just thoughts. When I tried to talk to him about how i felt so distrustful that I’d read his phone, which isn’t something I’d ever wanted to do in a relationship before, and that I wasn’t feeling safe he just went into a rage which ended in a breakup – not the first or last breakup, I was totally dumb.

By: Lucy

Lucy — Fri, 30 Jul 2021 13:18:30 +0000

In reply to I swear I’m not lying. Obsessed with youth? Check. easy prey? Check Grooming/deceit/exploitation? Check. Narc trying to oppress and repress normal emotions and behaviour in others? Check. All part of the addictions and Win-Lose game they play, along with lack of empathy and lack of morality.

By: I swear I’m not lying

I swear I’m not lying — Thu, 29 Jul 2021 13:22:19 +0000

Yeah have been through all that. Is it normal for much more experienced men to seek relationships with 20 year olds they can groom to become just like them? 🥴

By: Shelly

Shelly — Wed, 10 Feb 2021 18:04:15 +0000

In reply to Amanda.

I thought my narc was head over heels in love with me and he was lucky to have me. I knew he was a liar and hed even been caught doing drugs and stealing and other horrible things he hid from me but 1 thing I thought I could rely on was him never cheating on me. I thought he was smart enough to know what he had in me but after 16 years and many strange revelations evidence and stories from varied avenues I in which he always denied I had to admit the truth I didnt want to see. He was just bot a good or honest person and I was choosing to believe his LIES bc I couldnt gave the fact that he would do me so wrong and betray me like that bc I thought that would have to mean he wasnt SATISFIED or happy with ME if he messed around on me. But the truth IS whether enotional or physical infidelity…to me it’s the same bc it meant he disnt feel the same about me as I did him and he was betraying me by doing things behind my back and lyung n hiding important crucial hurtful serious things. When u truly LOVE someone u do right by them all the time whether in public or private people knowing watching or NOT bc u CARE about THEM and being respectful and honorable towards them. U dont drool over ever other girls a** when she walks by bc all ur thinking about is how ur so blessed to have that good 1 at home! U dont seek out and starve for random females attention to make URSELF feel wanted or desired if ur in love with ur partner. And u certainly dont go as far as u can as often as u can with whomever wherever and LIE about it to keep from selfishly losing ur trusty supply at home then wrongfully attack and accuse HER of CHEATING bc UR the one who’s GUILTY! HE STILL to this day REFUSES to admit he EVER cheated or even did anything wrong or inappropriate but I have a gut feeling and a brain and theres too many stories from others and instances of SCANDALOUS discrepancies here and there over the years that dont add up. So while I have no concrete PROOF I have enough to know he doesnt LOVE me like I thought wanted or did him and that’s enough. Either way hes a LIAR and hiding stuff and not man enough to ever admit anything so im not WASTING anymore of my life when I know im worth and DESERVE so much better and I hope u realize the same. They dont DESERVE us. God loves u…u love you…that’s more than enough! Goodluck.

By: Shelly

Shelly — Wed, 10 Feb 2021 17:37:23 +0000

In reply to Andrea.

Nike has the smartest saying that u need… NO… HAVE to follow NOW. JUST DO IT! U know u MUST! u will always find an excuse of why u cant bc u are scared of change…afraid of facing the reality of it all, afraid of loneliness or failure. But none of that MATTERS bc God will be there to lift u up and carry u thru this! U are worthy! U deserve real love and good treatment! U are special and dont DESERVE to be used, trampled on, disrespected,lied to, betrayed, or hurt. U deserve happiness, contentment, and peace. And all of that is possible if u just take that 1st difficult step that u keep putting off. Acknowledge ur accurate self worth and LEAVE! JUST DO IT! Stop sweating the details and KNOW Gods got this! Put God 1st and everything else will fall into place. It will be the smartest and best thing UV ever done. And dont let him reel u back in with his empty promises fake words and excuses and justifications. It’s all BULL to OWN and control u so ull stay his supply. The point is he doesnt value u will never respect or treat u right and is not capable of loving u the way I need deserve or desire so u r just delaying ur OWN happiness and freedom. I speak from 16 years of experience! I was blinded by love…my own not his bc his was just a lie…empty words. All actions proved OPPOSITE to all he claimed swore and promised and 1 day I woke up after long prayer and saw clearly. 4 me getting out was a process bot a singular event. Hell…im still getting out! Bc we share a child it’s not clear cut and dry. He uses that and anything to try to keep me on hook. Bit like so many have said…its not about proof it’s about that guy feeling. When u KNOW u know! U just have to stop listening to the LIES u WANT to believe and trust YOURSELF. ACTIONS speak louder than words and while his words proclaim love and loyalty his actions proved everything but that. Stop asking why and how and just know u cant make sense outta stupid. Narcs arent like u and I. They dont have self respect morals values or a CONSCIENCE. They feel no shame and dont care about yr feelings or well being. They dont care about anything. They are shallow cold SELFISH encouragable relentless diabolical beings driven purely by instant gratification. They dont evolve or change bc they dont acknowledge or admit their mistakes or wrong doings. They blaim everyone and thing else. They’re too busy playing VICTIM and delving out guilt trips to live in reality and they dont want to bc that would mean they’d have to see who n what they really are which is horrible so it ain’t happening. U have to decide enough is enough and u are worth the happy life that’s available to u and waiting after u leave him 4 good and put the PTSD past behind u. It’s hard but staying is harder. And 1 day at a time it gets easier. Til 1 day ull look back and say wow I’m so glad I had the strength to leave bc I wouldve robbed myself of a happy well deserved life! Remember…with GOD all things are possible. Trust GOD! Not Narcs. He will give u strength comfort and sustain you. KNOW UR WORTH! I was an amazing HONEST loyal partner for 16 yrs and he always said how hot I was and I was the best and he was lucky to have me but he had a jeckyl/hyde personality and the NARC did me about as wrong as possible when he was the crazy jealous insecure LYING betraying hypocrite eyewandering SCANDALOUS STREETHOOD druggy personality and then act like nothing happened innocently when he switched back to the love bombing sweet good blessed christian family man persona. I had whiplash from downshifting so quickly! I couldnt ascertain how 2 OPPOSITE people could co-exist in the same body it made no sense! Finally I came across a word that explained it all! Narcissist! There is no rhyme or reason. It is not you! It is not ME! ITS ALL THEM! I gave 110%! And still got sh** on! I tried everything to make it work. But at some point u have to say enough! I am worth so much more than this. And whether theres a good decent loyal DEPENDABLE HONEST guy out there capable of loving me like I truly deserve OR NOT I have to decide that I am worth so much more than just being a selfish shameless shallow NARCs current supply. I have to love ME and know God loves me. And its bc of JESUS that FORGIVENESS is even possible. Let go. I wish u all the best with many blessings and prayers. U can do this! Goodluck.