I have been reading all of your articles and watching your videos. They are all so helpful and I am not alone. I already do a lot of what you talk about how to survive with a Narcissist. I had to learn some of these things on my own, I know now that there is help out there. I am going through a contested divorce. My husband is a Narcissist. Been married for 30 years and he suddenly wanted a divorce. He gave me the silent treatment and I had to give him a time frame to talk to me and work this out to figure out what was the problem. Well to make this a short story. My story is a little different. I have learned something along the way on my own. He wanted it all, he didn’t care about our adult children, or how I felt. We brought a house together shortly after our first child. We lived in this house for almost 28 years and as you already aware it was almost paid off. He wanted half the house, half my money, half of my retirement. He felt he was entitled to it all. He wasn’t even trying to work at the marriage. He has manage to turn one of our children against me. He left me, he resides with his family. He took all of his belonging, and came back with a rented u haul and removed the rest of his belonging. He doesn’t help me with any of the bills he felt like why should I pay for something I know longer live in. I filed for divorce shortly after. It’s been almost two year into this contested divorce. I do no contact that’s what helps me. He has dragged this divorce out to the point of us heading to trial. All because I won’t give him half of my retirement. He has manage to live like a rock star and has done a whole lot of other stuff to me along the way. Getting this divorce has cost me more than want I bargain for. Trying to stay above it all, just to get a divorce and move on. How to survive that. I pay for all of the household bills and everything that comes with it.

Hi DL Marshall,

It is really important to work through all the Modules to create a Thriver Recovery.

Mel xo

Can I buy just the module that is specific to me and my trigger issues or do I need to go through all the modules?

Hi Marlene,

please contact support@melanietoniaevans.com and one of my lovely team will help you with this question.

Mel xo

Hi Tricia,

awww thank you for your lovely words and I am just so pleased that I could help.

Mel xo

Hi Leigha,

I am so happy for you that you are doing so well 🙂 In regard to the relationship you are transitioning from – I am assuming that you are speaking about the person who is telling you that you are “this” or “that”.

Leigha, when we are totally dedicated to our healing it is about no more having to prove ourselves, convince or change anything about what other people think of us. It’s so much healthier for us to drop that, do No Contact (or Modified if a necessity for children) and simply heal our inner traumas.

My take on it is we ALL have traits of the 3 … simply because we all have traumas we need to heal to not have those traits, and when triggered we are capable of acting out in unhealthy ways, sometimes clinging and controlling and sometimes nasty and controlling. (By “controlling” I mean trying to get our needs met through another instead of being partnered wwith self) … It all comes from young unhealed traumas.

Please know that your salvation is not about finding the information, it is about healing, and letting go of your shame connected to your wounds as well.

This person and yourself both require stopping focusing on the other. He may not choose to heal himself, but you can and will if you want to truly Thrive.

Mel xo